Hitori ni Shinaide
by Sylentia Levin
Summary: Ruki had mistaken his love for Reita and indirectly broken the bassist’s heart. Their close friendship is endangered, but Uruha had always managed to be there for Ruki. Feelings start to grow, but what happens when a bit of forgotten past comes back?
1. Misapprehend

Disclaimer : Sexy-legs, metal-lip, noseband-man, midget-boy and cutie-dimples all belong to the members of the Gazette. And they own themselves. Even the blonde waitress in this fic isn't mine; she's an authoress on the site!!

Enclaimer : The brunette waitress though, is all mine, well, she's me, actually, so don't you dare use me, err… I mean her!!

Summary : Ruki had mistaken his love for Reita and had thereby indirectly broken the bassist's heart. Their close friendship is almost endangered, and through it all, Uruha had always managed to be there for Ruki. Feelings start to grow, but what happens when he caught Uruha with Shou?

Notes : Dedicated to "Deidara is my conscience" because she's a good friend and because I feel like it. An UruKi fic since I just love this pairing… Enjoy!!

PS : **I'm changing my name cuz the site's admin is (as well as a few people are) after me. I'm planning to change it from **_**Maeryth **_**to**_** Mikaela Mae**_**, just thought you guys needed to know. Thx for reading.**

* * *

"**Hi****tori ni Shinaide"**

It all just happened too fast.

He was in his room, reading an old SHOXX magazine to check out a few Vidoll pictures since Jun had requested him to do so while listening to Distress & Coma, minding his own business. The next thing he knew, he had found his arms full with a crying vocalist who had barged in at a short notice. The guitarist didn't even have time to register what was happening. Even the position was rather weird, with Ruki straddling his hips and sitting on his lap, facing him, his small body huddled against his chest as Uruha himself sat on his bed, leaning against the wall, arms wrapped around the vocalist's small body.

"Shh, it's okay… It's all gonna be okay…" Uruha whispered, trying to soothe the crying blonde in his arms.

He managed, though, to finally coax some things out of him and it threw light on a few things.

"It just hurts," he insisted, "I mean, to know that you're the cause of everything that saddens him, it's… It's _devastating_!" the blonde continued to wail.

"Ruki…" Uruha whispered as the blonde continued to sob harder and he held on tighter than before.

"H - He was always there to comfort me; he was always there no matter what! He promised me that he'd be the one to -- to keep me safe, to keep me from being lonely. But because I was always clinging to him… I made _him _lonely. I could see it; I could _feel_ it! I know how he feels every time he turns down an invitation to go somewhere just to be with me, or how he couldn't chase after him because of me!!!"

"Him? Him who?" the brunette frowned, and winced slightly as Ruki lightly punched his chest in frustration, over and over again, still sobbing in his arms, each punch punctuating the guitarist's name, dividing it into three parts.

"_Mi - ya - vi_!! He's been crushing on Miyavi for _years_, now, Uruha, I can see it from the way he acts and talks and all!! But a -- a _dyslexic, tactless_ person like him really needs a push in the right direction since he doesn't even _realize_ his own feelings, and -- and… I couldn't let him… be alone… but now, I don't have him anymore!! So I'm alone, myself, and… "

"Shh… Calm down… It's nothing big to be worth crying about, okay? People in life come and go, Ru, there's nothing you can do about it."

"But doesn't my feelings mean anything to him?!" he snapped, another weak, emotional punch aimed at Uruha chest, and the taller one winced as he answered.

"That I wouldn't know. I'm not Reita. Did you even tell him?" Uruha asked, and Ruki fell silent.

"… Yes…" he answered after a few minutes, and the honey-blonde sighed.

"And what'd he say?"

"Just a thanks… And a request for me to not wait for him… And when I asked whether that was just his way of indirectly saying no, he said that he needed time to make a choice. A choice for _what_, for crying out loud?! _Gosh!!_"

"Well, you did say that he was crushing on Meevs… Maybe he had to choose between him and you… Haven't you ever thought about it?" Uruha suggested, and Ruki fell silent once again.

"… No…"

"See? You've got to try seeing from his point of view, Ru."

"I guess… But why am I feeling like this? I'm confused. I don't want to let him go, but I don't really _love_ love him, you know?"

"Well…" Uruha paused a minute to think it over, his hand still absent-mindedly stroking Ruki's hair, "Maybe you've mistaken your love for him?"

"Huh?" Ruki frowned, looking up to meet Uruha's eyes in confusion, and his friend chuckled.

"Well, what if you only love him like an older brother, but you've mistaken your affection for that of _real_ love. Get me?"

"Mm-hmm."

"And that's also why you're being a tad possessive with him. And clingy. And childish. And --"

"Whoa! Hold it!! Who says I'm like that towards him?" Ruki protested, sitting up, glaring playfully at the teasingly smiling Uruha which he was still sitting on.

"_I_ just did. And everyone can see it. You've just said so yourself, didn't you?"

"I guess…" he sighed, pausing for a minute, "But you know something? I think you're right. I don't actually feel sad in the way I should, if I ever dare to say that I love him more than I would a brother. _Somehow_. I mean, I'm glad he's found someone, but I'm also sad that I'm losing another shoulder to cry on. So, yeah, basically, I'm just being childish and very possessive."

"Well you'll still have me. Am I so bad you're having me as a last resort?" Uruha tried to joke, but Ruki took it the wrong way and he felt guilty.

"No! No, ofcourse, I like talking to you better than to anyone else, actually, but… Well… You're just so distant… And I don't want to disturb you with anything…" he admitted, bowing his head and hiding his eyes behind his blonde bangs. Uruha merely smiled gently and lifted his chin with his index and middle finger, their eyes meeting.

"Well don't you mind about it. _Ever_. Cause I don't. If you need to talk, just talk, okay?" Uruha offered.

Ruki paused a while, sniffled and suddenly sat up straight, staring innocently, honestly, into Uruha's eyes, who looked back at him nervously.

"Uruha…"

"What?" he asked back cautiously, knowing that he'd probably regret hearing Ruki's next words. His look didn't seem promising much.

"Y -- You're not gonna leave me too, are you?" the vocalist asked tearfully, and the guitarist was at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say? He didn't even _understand_ what Ruki meant by the question!!

"Well, I -- I dunno… I guess not… I mean, you're my best friend after all…" he answered hesitatingly, and Ruki looked at him with a mix of disbelief and confusion, making Uruha more nervous than he already is. He didn't want to upset Ruki, but he honestly didn't know what else to say! After a few minutes though, Ruki merely smiled gently and buried himself in the embrace once again.

"Sorry… I know it's kinda confusing… It's just that I feel so lonely sometimes, and I really need a shoulder to cry on… I'm just scared that someday, you just won't be there for me anymore …" Ruki explained, understanding Uruha's confusion and the older of the two blondes sighed in relief.

_Thank God… So that's what he meant…_

"Oh… Well in that case, _no_. I'm not gonna leave you and you can always count on me… Okay? Now stop crying, you'll look more chibi than you already are," Uruha suggested, stroking Ruki's hair once again, his other hand embracing the shorter one's waist protectively.

"Hmm… Okay… But can I just stay like this for a while longer? It's kinda comfortable… You don't mind, do you?" the vocalist mumbled in contentedness, hugging him tighter and the latter smiled.

"Go ahead… Just don't fall asleep," Uruha warned jokingly and the two of them chuckled.

They stayed like that for awhile, with Ruki still straddling his band mate's legs and sitting on his lap, embracing him tightly. Ruki's eyelids were already closed, though he wasn't exactly asleep. He was just indulging in the moment. It felt nice like this. As for Uruha, the tall honey-blonde was starting to get comfortable too and was really starting to fall asleep when his door suddenly opened, revealing a certain blonde bassist, without his usual bandana around his nose.

"Ne, Uruha-kun, did you happen to see Ru -- What the…? Am I interrupting something?" he asked, his eyes a bit wide in shock, and the two's eyes immediately opened, and both eyes were directed onto the Gemini male.

"R - Reita…?" Ruki gasped with a hint of guilt, while Uruha merely stared.

"Um, I think I'd better go. Sorry guys," Reita apologized, and he went off in fast-paced steps, not even bothering to close the door.

Ruki's wide-eyed stare turned from the empty door to the man he's embracing, back and forth, before Uruha released his hold on him. He then stared at his friend questioningly, without a word, a hint of fear in his eyes.

"Well? Aren't you gonna chase him?" Uruha broke the silence and Ruki stared back dumbly.

"Wha -- ?"

"You should go," Uruha advised calmly.

"But what about you, I mean -- ?" he started, glancing worriedly at Uruha, but he merely smiled.

"Don't let me stop you."

For a minute there, Ruki seemed more than confused. But as Uruha's words sunk in, he smiled brightly. Yup, he was gonna go out there, chase Reita down the hall and explain him everything!

"Are you sure? Should I really go?" Ruki started to beam and the older blonde smiled with a nod.

"Yea I'm serious. Come back and tell me all the details when you're done, okay?"

"Thanks a lot, Uru-kun," Ruki smiled happily, and pecked Uruha's lips quickly before getting off of Uruha, onto his feet and bolting out of the room, calling out to the bassist, "Rei-kun!! Hold on!!" his footsteps resounding through the halls and room…

…leaving Uruha there to gape at the open air. He didn't even realize what he'd done. But unfortunately, Uruha did. And he was confused. _Very _confused. The honey-blonde touched his lips uncertainly, frowning.

_Did Ruki just…? _

But after a few seconds, he left it at that and shrugged. They kissed each other often, so what? It shouldn't surprise him at all by now. He shook his head and took his SHOXX magazine, flipping through it once again.

A few minutes later, short-period yelling and the sound of a door being slammed could be heard echoing all across the house.

And Ruki never came back to Uruha's room.

**---**

Rehearsal went well.

That was, at least, according to Kai, who failed to notice the rather tense air between the Kanagawa men. Aoi, though, didn't only _feel_ it, but he could clearly _see_ it. Ruki was obviously guilty while Reita refused to meet the younger one's eyes as Uruha merely stood by, pretending as if nothing happened.

"Ne, Uruha-san…?" Aoi asked, approaching the taller honey-blonde as the five of them had decided to take a break and go somewhere together. They've stopped at a local café-bookstore near the studio which was usually packed with their label-mates and sometimes other PSC crew as well. The other three had stayed in their seats in silence, each minding their own business while Uruha had felt extremely bored and thus had gotten up from his seat, looking at the collection of books the café had.

"Hmm?" Uruha replied with a hum, not really turning to face the older guitarist, his eyes still scanning the title that the books possessed. He took out a book titled "ai no marionette", examining it and reading the summary on the back before returning it to its former respected place.

"What's happened to Ruki and Reita? I mean, they're so distant and Ruki won't even talk to anyone!" Aoi asked, tailing Uruha who didn't even bother to look at him.

"I dunno. Ruki's emotional like that; when he's angry he's quiet and when he's happy he's hyper. It's normal. As for Reita…" Uruha paused a while, examining the summary of another book called "Do Guitarists _Really_ Fuck Their Guitars?", chuckling at the title and summary before putting it back, continuing, "Maybe he's sick or something."

"Don't give me your ignorant shit! You three live with each other in the same house!! You guys arrive and leave together!! You guys go home to Kanagawa together as well!! Don't try and tell me you don't know anything that has happened!!" Aoi whispered heatedly, getting a bit tired of Uruha's ignorance. The honey-blonde sighed and turned to him with a slight glare.

"Well I don't _know_, okay? They've not been _telling_ me anything and I've _not_ been asking. It's _their_ problem, _not_ mine. All I know is that it's some kind of a love-life problem. _Okay_?" Uruha stated tiredly, and Aoi sighed as well. He knew the blonde good enough to know that he was tired and that he was telling the truth. Plus it was pointless trying to debate with Uruha since the blonde would insist on winning no matter what.

"Okay, okay. But aren't you gonna do anything about it? I mean, they _are_ your best friends, and --"

"Aoi, could you please drop it? They'll come to me themselves when they're ready to talk. I don't like pushing people because I hate to be pushed myself, okay?" Uruha cut in, and once again Aoi merely nodded.

Something then came to mind and he was about to ask again when a purple-highlighted brunette showed up beside him. It was the waitress, a young girl named Amano Mae whom Tora had claimed for being his cousin, though nobody really bought it. That was until they've checked her height which turned out be 170 cm and noticed the surname-and-pale-skin resemblance. Kai had once even mentioned that Tora had freaky height-hormones in his family, thus the abnormal heights the family members possessed (in Japan, it's kinda weird for a girl to be taller than 155 - 165 cm, and a guy to be more than 165-175 cm or something).

"Ne, Aoi-san, Uruha-san, I've just placed the orders on your table but no one seemed to notice or bother to get you two, so I just wanted to tell you that," the girl informed with a smile, standing at almost the same height as the two guitarists, "Wonder why they're depressed like that?" she asked with a hint of curiosity in her eyes, and Aoi just sighed.

"According to Uruha, love-life problems," he answered and the girl smiled knowingly.

"Ah, I see. Well, I should be going then. Oh, one more thing, Miyavi-san had just gotten here but he disappeared with Reita-san. I don't really know where they've went off but I still think you guys should check it out," she informed them, and Uruha sighed heavily, the sigh clearly indicating something, and with a frown at him, Aoi nodded absent-mindedly before turning to the girl.

"Oh right. Well then, uh… Mai, could you do us a favor?"

"It's _Mae_, and yea, sure," the girl nodded nonchalantly, reminding the guitarist of his mispronunciation of her name.

"Uh, yea, sorry, Mae. Well, if they happen to _show up_, but _nowhere near_ us, could you keep an eye on them and tell me what they did or talked about?" Aoi requested, and the girl frowned with a suspicious and confused smile.

"So I'm playing a spy for today?"

"Uh, yeah. Sorry to bother your work, but it's kinda important. If a vocalist's having problems…"

"Then the whole band could fall apart. Yeah, I know. Okay then I'll see what I can do. I gotta go now, Isshi's calling me," the girl smiled, indicating to Kagrra's vocalist with a glance of her mahogany eyes and she went off. Aoi then turned to Uruha.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Are you gonna tell me what the sigh was about?"

"What sigh?"

"Uruha, don't play dumb with me. You feigning incompetence to get out of trouble wont work on me," Aoi threatened, and Uruha sighed.

"Okay, _okay_. Last night, Ruki came to my room crying and told me a few stuff about his problems with Reita. I sighed back then because I remembered that he said that Reita's falling for Miyavi but he's still a tad possessive about Reita."

"So?"

"_So, _if Reita disappeared, _with Miyavi_, right infront of Ruki's nose, and _something_ unwanted happens…" Uruha trailed off suggestively and Aoi immediately got on track.

"Then he's going to be in an emo state for weeks," Aoi finished his fellow guitarist's sentence, "And the air will be tense between the two, and rehearsals will hardly ever get right… Damn. I see what you mean."

"See?" Uruha said in a I-told-you-so tone and jerked his head towards their table, "Come on, let's go back. Your boyfriend's starting to get lonely."

"Yours is too," Aoi joked, and Uruha half-glared with a smile.

"I'd wish."

The two of them walked back to their table, Aoi sitting beside Kai with the drummer immediately and childishly resting his head on Aoi's chest with a cute pout while Uruha took his seat beside Ruki and looking at the vocalist's troubled face. He placed his bigger hand on top of the blonde's smaller ones and a set of grey-contacted eyes came up to meet his mahogany-contacted ones.

"You okay?"

"I don't know. Maybe," he answered vaguely, taking his hand back from beneath Uruha's.

"What happened last night? I waited up for you but you didn't come back," the honey-blonde tried again, but Ruki replied without eye-contact in a whisper.

"I explained him everything, when it turned out that he actually loved _me_. When he saw me with you, he got it at the wrong end and I tried to explain it to him but we ended up yelling at each other, and…" Ruki trailed off, and he seemed very unwilling to continue the conversation.

"And…?"

"I don't know. I couldn't look him in the eyes and he -- he won't talk to me. I -- I tried, this morning, and he was acting as if I'm not there… And then Miyavi suddenly waltzed in, and he took his hand and left to God-knows-where. Without a word. Saying a small 'see you later' to Kai and not giving me any damned _explanation_!!" his whispered tone turned almost into a yell, turning Kai and Aoi to glance at them, and then the little blonde closed his eyes, as if holding back tears, and he buried his face in his hands.

"I don't know… I just don't know… Is it normal? For me to be so possessive over him? If it's only affection instead of love… is it normal? Uruha?" he asked, turning to the taller honey-blonde, his grey eyes obviously looking for answers, and Uruha smiled gently.

"Maybe. You _are_ an only child, after all. After your brother's death, I mean. You did say that he reminds you a lot of Takashi… Maybe you just can't stand losing another brother, right?"

"But I've got you! Why should I be -- ?"

"Because you're closer to him than you are to me. Simple as that," he explained, ruffling the blonde locks with affection. He glanced at the raven-haired couple seated in front of them and saw that they were busy with their own problems. He was about to say some more assuring words to his younger friend when Mae suddenly showed up.

"Um, Uruha-san, not that I'd like to bother you, but… Miyavi-san and Reita-san just got back and they're now standing right over there," she informed, almost in a whisper, pointing towards the café's patio, "And I'm telling you since I've noticed that Aoi-san's a tad too busy and you didn't realize anything either…" she trailed off, and Uruha nodded.

"Yeah, okay. Thanks Mae," he said, and the 23-year-old left with a shrug and a smile. Uruha stared knowingly at the couple on the patio, his childhood friend holding the guitarist's hand.

"Shit," he mumbled, slightly inaudible, and Ruki frowned.

"Uru-kun? What was that all about? Why are they standing there?" Ruki demanded, but Uruha didn't answer. He glanced at Aoi and -- noticing that he was still busy talking sweet nothings with Kai -- kicked the older raven in the shins beneath the table. The raven jumped, slightly shocked, opening his mouth to demand an explanation but it was Kai who popped the question and shushed his boyfriend up.

"Ow! Uruha, what the hell?!"

"Aoi! What is it, Uruha-san?"

"Patio. Your one o'clock. Raven and blonde," he stated curtly, pointing behind the tow ravens, and Aoi immediately turned, his young lover copying his actions.

"What are they doing?" Aoi asked, and Kai puffed a breath of air, smiling slightly in disbelief.

"Oh my gosh, he's holding his hand. I think he's popping the one-million-dollar-question, I mean, look at Miyavi-san's face!" Kai answered, and a few minutes later, the solo-guitarist's reaction proved Kai's theory to be correct.

He was smiling broadly, his face showing that he was completely happy as he gripped Reita's hand with both of his in almost-disbelief, asking a question, to which Reita nodded, and replied. Miyavi turned to be completely content with the answer and jumped up and down for a few times. A blonde waitress happened to walk by and Miyavi turned to her, saying a few words before focusing his attention back fully to Reita. The blonde waitress walked inside from the patio, her face a bit shocked but amused nonetheless. She talked to Mae, giggling, before walking off with the tray in her hands.

"Oi, Mae-chan," Aoi called, getting to his feet, calling the purple-streaked brunette. The girl reacted fast and made her way over.

"Un?"

"Mae-san, what did your friend say?" Kai asked curiously, and Mae replied with uncertainty.

"Well, um… Dei-dei just said that… well… Miyavi-san just got together, and… I'm not sure. It just sounds a bit too weird…" she replied hesitantly, and Uruha got an idea.

"Could you get your friend here?" he asked, and she nodded. Mae looked up, looking for her friend and whistled. The blonde turned and Mae motioned for the girl to come over.

"Psst! Deidara!!" she called in a slight whisper, and Deidara approached them with a frown.

"What is it?" she asked, and Kai repeated his question.

"We just wanted to know what Miyavi-san told you."

"Oh," she replied, a bit surprised, and answered hesitantly as well, though not as confused as Mae, "Well, he said that Reita-san had just asked him out and that they're gonna live together or something… He was really ecstatic about it and he talked really fast so it was kinda hard for me to catch everything…" she indirectly apologized, and Kai smiled sweetly at her before Mae had caught on the tense air and dragged her friend off with a last 'excuse us'. The expressions that the Gazette members wore were each different and perfectly described how they were feeling at the moment.

"Oh wow…"

"You've gotta be kidding me…"

"Ju~ st great…"

"…"

Kai seemed utterly surprised but glad, Aoi seemed a tad horrified and shocked, Uruha had a shit-I'm-fucked-look on his face as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose while Ruki's face was just blank, and devoid of all emotion. It only took a minute though, before the blonde rose to his feet and made his way out of the café and onto its patio, sliding the glass doors open, obviously angered. He had already reached his destination and had already begun yelling as the others came to and realized the situation around them.

Alarmed, the other members followed suit, scrambling to get on their feet and dashed their way to where the three of them were quarrelling, leaving the other customers as well a few of their label-mates to gape at the sudden clamor.

"… _everything_!! And you didn't even fucking _care_?! What the hell am I to you?!" Ruki demanded at a high tone, Miyavi standing by looking confused, while Reita seemed as angered as Ruki is, though there was a glint of guilt visible in his eyes, the only thing visible on his face because of his noseband.

"Hey, hey, hey!!" Aoi warned, his tone loud as well, placing his hand on the shorter vocalist's shoulder, but he threw it off with a flex of muscles, turning to Aoi.

"_Don't_!! This is _my_ problem!!" he snapped, before turning back to Reita, but this time, Miyavi had stepped in.

"Ru, what the fuck, man? Can't we just talk this over with a cool head?"

"_Screw_ talking with a fucking cool head!! I am _not_ talking to you, _either of you_, _ever_!!! Never after this!!" he snapped, pushing Miyavi back with every strength he's got. The guitarist stumbled backwards into Reita's arms, but he was obviously pissed. Before the bassist could do anything about it, he had already taken a few steps forward and roughly punched the vocalist until he fell on his butt, sporting his raw cheek, flexing his jaw to get the numb feeling out.

"Don't you dare touch me!!" Miyavi snapped back.

Seeing his friend getting abused, Aoi's protectiveness took over and he immediately stepped forward in front of the vocalist, who's now on the ground, and pushed Miyavi back slightly, calmly, but his face was one of those that you definitely could not mess with.

"Hands off, pretty boy," Aoi warned, but Miyavi was too angered, seeing as his anger-management was worse than Aoi's, the guitarist being very emotional.

"Don't get involved, metal-lip, none of your business!!" he snapped, and Aoi's hand had curled into a fist. In a second, the solo-guitarist was on the ground with a bleeding lip. Kai immediately shot forward and took a hold of the tall raven's body. Aoi relaxed a bit with the feel of his younger lover's touch on him, but that didn't mean that he wasn't ready and loaded for another attack.

"Aoi! What the hell are you doing?!" Reita demanded, kneeling beside his new lover, and Uruha gaped in disbelief.

"What is _he_ doing? What the fuck are _you_ doing?" he stepped in, confronting the bassist though he remained rooted to his spot, "You ask Meevs out after a fight with Ruru?! I thought you were better than this!!"

Reita immediately got onto his feet, leaving Miyavi to calm down on the floor, "I like him! I care about him and it's possible that I love him! So what?! Ruki cares for me as a brother; I care for Miyavi as a lover!! If you can't see this then you never knew me, Uru," he replied, though his voice sounded a bit unsure, but nobody noticed, except Ruki and Uruha who knew him better than anyone else.

"I don't believe that!! Where the hell has your head been, Rei?!" Uruha demanded, taking a step forward ready to grab his by his collar and Reita was already cracking his knuckles, taking steps forward as well.

The honey-blonde started to make his way when he felt strong arms around his waist. His body got pulled back and pressed against a broad chest that belonged to someone whose scent he thought was familiar, his right upper arm being held tightly by a pair of hands as well, preventing him to land any punches.

In front of him, he saw Akiya and Shin restraining his childhood friend gently, Saga standing beside the three and trying to talk some sense into Reita's head. Frowning, he turned to his right to find Shou gripping his upper arm with a pleading look and looking behind him, he found that it was Tora who had held him back.

Looking around, he saw that their label-mates have rushed out to help and had indirectly put a stop to the fight. Ruki was being helped onto his feet by Masato and Takeru, while alicenine. no Nao and Hiroto was helping Miyavi up. Chiyu and Kagrra no Nao were by Kai's side to try and calm Aoi down while Mitsuru, Izumi, Yuji and Isshi were standing by as if to watch, unsure of what to do.

He glanced behind him to check the patio's sliding doors and he could see people gathering around the glass doors, Mae and her friend Deidara standing at most front, both looking worried.

"I'm okay," Uruha mumbled, and Tora let go of him, though Shou still didn't let go of his hand, "Shou…"

"I'm not letting go."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not. I'm letting you go when and _only when_ you move to get out of here. Not before," he stated, knowing Uruha's usual impulsive actions could rise to surface easily. Uruha understood this and let it be.

Ruki, on the other hand, had already gotten to his feet, and was staring at Reita and Miyavi who were also on their feet. The bassist was checking Miyavi's cut and the blonde vocalist stood by, watching, eyes filled with hurt, until he finally broke away from the two SuG member's grip and made his way to the glass doors, everyone immediately making way for him, and in seconds, he disappeared in the crowd.

Uruha glanced from those glass doors to the situation he was now in, utterly confused on what to do, when he suddenly caught Aoi's gaze. It told him what to do but he was arguing with himself. Should he really? He turned to his right to find Shou biting his lip, his big, cat-like eyes telling him the same, and he then made up his mind as he felt Shou's grip slacken.

He turned on his heels and ran after the blonde vocalist, past Tora, past Mae and Deidara, past those sliding glass doors, past the crowd, and into the café. He exited the building quickly and was out to the street in no time. He ran straight ahead into the alley in front of him, his instincts telling him to do so, not that he trusted sixth senses much, but also because the logic in his mind told him that there was no way Ruki could've turned any other way, left or right, let alone make decisions with his mind in a jumbled mess like that.

His instincts and logic soon proved him useful as he found the vocalist in the alleyways, leaning against one of the street lamps, his eyes closed, facing the heavens, chest heaving. Silent tears streamed down his cheeks and he didn't even pay attention to all of the people watching him, passersby frowning at the sight as they tried to remember and register into their minds who this emo-looking person was. Uruha stopped in his tracks, staring at the blonde for awhile before finally jogging his way over to him.

"Ruki…" he mumbled, placing a hand on the shorter one's shoulder and in an instant, he had found himself in the same position he was in last night as he fell to the ground by Ruki's extra weight, his arms full with the sobbing young man.

**---**

Uruha had succeeded into calming his friend down and brought him back to the café where their friends were all waiting. Ruki immediately ran to Shou like a child seeking comfort to his mother, hugging him possessively, refusing to let go of the taller male who had been soothing him and stroking his hair, until Uruha had asked him to come home.

When he had left the vocalist to Shou, he had walked over to Kai, Tora, Shin and Yuji who were talking everything over. Kai had decided to cancel all rehearsals until this whole problem was solved and the others had offered their help in many ways. One of them was Tora's promise to keep an eye on Miyavi and Reita and the other was Shin and Yuji's word to make sure that Miyavi and Ruki will not even get near each other, let alone be in the same floor until this whole thing was over.

Kai then had turned to him, Uruha, and had put him on a task that _seemed_ simple; he had to watch over the vocalist keep Ruki and Reita away from each other.

He had to keep two best friends away.

His _own_ two best friends.

It felt unjust. It was as if Uruha's taking sides. Well, in a way, he _was_, he was standing up for Ruki because to his opinion, what Reita did wasn't exactly right, but he knew that the bassist just wasn't in his right mind at the time. But he decided that it was best and he knew _someone_ had to take care of the currently emotional vocalist, and who else can do it better than himself? They did live together after all, and they're quite close.

Uruha's mind reeled though he managed to keep most of his attention focused on the road. He was now in his car, Ruki seated quietly beside him, Isshi's voice resounding from the car's speakers since Ruki wanted to listen to something calming and Kagrra was the only band calming enough that Uruha had.

Ruki refused to talk, merely humming along with "Yuki Koi Uta" or "Shigatsu Tsuitachi" once in a while, but that was the only sound that he emitted throughout the whole road. He even got out of the car and into the house without a single word, disappearing into his room, "Distress & Coma" blaring loudly through his stereo speakers a few minutes later, followed by "Burial Applicant", "Taion", "Leech", "The Social Riot Machines" and another set of GazettE's most loud collection of songs before it finally tuned down to the soft ones likes "Calm Envy", "Gentle Lie" and "Reila", a few happy, upbeat songs like "Anti Pop" and "Silly God Disco" following suit.

The music never stopped though the volume got turned down a few notches in the end, the music's mood getting more and more random as the hours flew by, and since the whole morning had been emotionally tiring for Uruha, the honey-blonde decided to go and count some sheep in his room, even though he knew it was still only six-thirty in the afternoon. He had put up with Ruki's music, he had tried to watch movies on TV, he had prepared some food, and now he felt that he needed time for himself.

**---**

It was at night, it was dark, it was cold, it was raining and Ruki _hated_ it. Not because he despised the rain, no, he liked it actually, but it was the _thunder_ that Ruki despised. He had been scared of it since childhood and it easily woke him up since he never did fall in a real sleep ever since he got out of his room to eat and talk to Uruha but found that the guitarist wasn't there.

He knew that Uruha had said that he should come to him at anytime he wanted to talk, but the minute he took a peek inside the honey-blonde's room, seeing the tired look on his face, he just didn't have the heart to wake him up.

_He's tired because of what happened today. He's tired because of the fight. He's tired because of _me_. Me and my emotional breakdowns…_

He knew it, and he regretted it, deciding that he didn't want to bother the older man for the rest of the day. But he was now really starting to think it over. The thunder was just so loud, and kind of frightening, and turning on the lamp with him curled up beneath the blankets didn't even help a bit.

The thunder was really starting to get to him, and he finally made his decision and bolted out of his room and into Reita's, the last, loudest thunder scaring him to death.

"Rei-kun, I -- Oh…" he barged into the room, but then stopped as he realized that Reita wasn't there anymore. At least, not there anymore _for now_, but it still upset him to no end. The memories of today's events flooded back into his mind and he had almost stepped inside the room and destroyed it, if not for another set of thunder surprising him, making him rush back to his own room, curling up beneath the blankets.

**---**

Uruha woke up in the early night, finding himself thirsty and a bit chilly. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was already nine p.m, meaning that he had slept for two and a half hours. He opened his eyes a bit more and realized that the chill had come from the heavy rain outside. It was in January after all, the Chinese New Year having predicted that it would be raining for two whole weeks until Cap Go Meh.

He made his way out of his room and into the kitchen, taking out a glass from the cupboards, filling it with water and dropping it into the sink when his thirst was quenched. He walked back to his room and had almost entered until he stopped in his tracks. He saw that Reita's bedroom door was open, but the blonde couldn't have possible gotten back…

Could he?

The honey-blonde made his way to the bassist's room and turned on the lights, but he didn't see anyone inside. He closed the door, frowning, but decided that it shouldn't really be a big deal. Maybe it wasn't closed properly and the wind had pushed it open or something. The sound of thunder made him jump slightly but he didn't pay much notice to it.

But then he saw the light in Ruki's room through the slightly opened door, giving a bit of light to the dark hallway, and it only took him seconds to remember that the vocalist was scared to death of thunder. Worried, he made his way over in fast-paced steps and pushed the door open, finding his assumptions to be correct.

The blonde was curled up beneath his blanket, his covered form resembling that of a set of bunched-up pillows.

"Hey, Ruki," Uruha called out softly, holding out a hand to shake the bundle, and he felt the small body trembling. He took the blanket off of the lithe body and his eyes met those of Ruki's, fear clearly hinted in it. He reached out for the blonde's shoulder as said latter sat up slowly, avoiding all eye-contact.

"…"

"Hey, you okay? What happened?" Uruha gently asked, tilting the younger one's chin, who finally gazed back, though still a bit shyly, replying in a rant.

"I -- I woke up because of the thunder, and, and I got scared, and I didn't want to disturb you since you seemed so tired, but then there was this really loud one and my instincts kicked in and I ran over to Rei's room to find him _not_ there, and I -- I got confused and I didn't know what to do so I got back here but I -- I…" and he trailed off, not knowing what else to say. Uruha smiled gently and leaned forward, hugging the terrified, shorter male. The embrace just seemed so comfortable, and he felt so safe that he didn't want to let go…

Uruha hugged him slightly tighter as he felt Ruki's body tense up in his arms due to another loud rumbling of thunder and he figured that he simply couldn't leave his friend like that. He stood up to move, but Ruki's finger caught his wrist and his dark-brown orbs looked up at him.

"Wait! Uru, don't go! _Please_, I…" but he got cut off as a pair of soft lips touched his forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere," Uruha said assuringly, and he moved to other end of the bed.

He settled himself beneath the blankets beside his best friend and as soon as he felt comfortable, pulled the shorter one's back against his broad chest. Now realizing what Uruha was up to, Ruki slowly took up the offer by turning around, resting his head against the taller one's chest, his body warmth calming him. Uruha smiled at the reaction, now feeling really comfortable knowing that Ruki wasn't going to push him away or was afraid of him, and he nuzzled into the vocalist's blonde locks, breathing in the scent of his shampoo.

Uruha fell fast asleep, but surprisingly, so did the owner of the small lithe body. Ruki knew that this feeling of comfort was going to end as soon as morning came, but heck, who cares anyways? He was going to indulge in the new feeling for as long as he could, and he knew that Uruha wouldn't be complaining.

The End…

… or To Be Continued?

* * *

Well, I'm ending it here for now. Should I continue? Tell me what you think!! R&R please!! Oh and Dei, I hope you don't mind that I've put your character in this fic!! Bye bye!!


	2. Loneliness

Note : It's set in the Distress and Coma era, so I've changed Uruha and Ruki's hair color from blonde to brown in this chapter!! Sorry for the 'blonde' mistake in the first chapter. Enjoy!!

* * *

A pair of mahogany-brown eyes fluttered open and Uruha looked around. His room smelt different and he felt slightly heavy, though very comfortable. He then noticed that he wasn't in his room at all and that there was a mass of light-brown hair resting on his chest, half-occupying his shoulder and upper-arm. Moving slightly, he checked the owner of the hair and saw that it was a very contented-sleeping Ruki with one arm wrapped tightly around his waist.

Smiling, Uruha remembered last night's events and relaxed. It felt kind of nice like this, actually. Besides, it wasn't as if he could go anywhere, with Ruki's embrace so tight around him. He had his left upper-arm act as a second pillow for the younger male and he moved that arm slightly so he could put it around the small brunette's shoulder, stroking the shoulder and upper arm lightly. He knew that Ruki had only been sleeping with an over-sized shirt since he could feel the smooth shorter legs brush against his; Ruki's thighs were also obviously exposed since he could feel the warmth somewhere near his hipbone.

He looked down and smiled to himself as he saw the cute sleeping face. It was adorable, really, and remembering the fact that Ruki really seemed like a cute, chibi puppy-dog didn't help much either. He sighed contentedly and looked up at the ceiling as his free hand moved to play with the sleeping boy's light-brown locks. It felt really silky smooth and he could smell the scent of Ruki's shampoo from that distance.

A few minutes passed and Uruha started to feel sleepy again; who wouldn't, in such a comfortable position? He closed his eyes and started to relax, his hand now merely stroking Ruki's hair. His mind found dreamland in no time, and everything just seemed so peace --

Hold it.

Something wasn't quite right. He heard something in the distance, but he couldn't make it out… But… Wait a minute. Are those really…

_Footsteps?_

Uruha frowned, though still in mid-sleep, and listened closer. He wasn't mistaken; he did hear footsteps. It was soft, though, but with the house so quiet, it wasn't really that hard to hear. It slowly came closer, and closer…

And then the bedroom door swung open. He immediately opened his eyes and turned, gazing at the person who had just entered the house of Gazette's Kanagawa Boys, staring in slight confusion and shock as he found that the intruder was -

"Reita…?" he mumbled, sitting up slightly. Ruki stirred a bit at the unexpected movement, alarming Uruha slightly, before the vocalist merely took his hand back and turned to Reita, continuing his sleep.

"…" Reita stayed rooted on the spot, not knowing what to do or what to say. He had actually come back to apologize since he knew how much he had hurt Ruki's feelings, but seeing the small brunette in his best friend's arms…

_Oi! _Reita snapped to himself, _Quit the jealous thoughts, Rei, it won't do you no good!!_

"Hey… What're you doing here?" Uruha asked in a friendly, greeting tone, but Reita didn't take any notice.

"I came back to… um, to get my clothes. I'm staying at Meevs's," he replied. No way in hell was he going to admit that he came back to apologize after this little stunt that his two best friends had pulled on him.

"You're really leaving?" Uruha asked, now fully sitting up, staring at his blonde friend in slight disbelief, though he could understand why Reita was doing this.

"Not that he'd mind, anyway," Reita mumbled, indicating at Ruki with his chin, and Uruha bit his lip.

"But I would," he answered, but Reita merely gave a small smile. Maybe he was faking it, maybe he really didn't know, but with Uruha, you can never tell. Reita knew the brunette all too well to try and oversee the fact that his best friend often feigned incompetence to get out of tight spots.

"Well I don't think it'd be wise," he answered, and turned on his heels, walking into the hall. He didn't care whether Uruha was being honest or not; all he wanted was to get out of there before Ruki woke up and found out.

Uruha immediately got onto his feet and followed Reita's steps after making sure that Ruki would be perfectly fine on his own. He followed his friend into his room, finding the blonde packing in his clothes and other important stuff.

Now Uruha was weighing the options. Should he really let Reita go and let things cool down, or should he make him stay even though it'll make stuff possibly even worse?

"Ne, Rei…"

**---**

Ruki stirred and turned on his other side, hoping to find the warmth that he had slept in last night, finding his current mid-sleep situation a bit emptier than before. He stretched out his arm a bit, but he found it very empty. He forced his eyes open and saw that he was alone in bed.

He sat up, looking around nervously. Did Uruha leave him or something? He swung his feet off the bed and got on his feet. He made up his bed in a hurry and rushed out of his room and into the hall. He didn't know why, but he was currently feeling very uneasy. Maybe it was because he had woken up without Uruha by his side, or maybe because he had a short nightmare about Reita or maybe also because he was feeling a bit lonely and unsafe or maybe --

"He won't mind. I'm sure he'd even curse me up to seven generations if he knew that I came here to just collect my stuff."

_Reita?_ _I didn't hear wrong, did I? That _was_ Reita, was it? _Ruki mused, as he closed his bedroom door behind him. The voices sounded awfully close…

"Exactly! Shouldn't you just stay?" Uruha suddenly protested, and as he sharpened his ears he realized that they came from Reita's room. His eyes widened as he listened to the conversation.

"No. I don't wanna make things worse. Besides, I know you can take care of him."

"… Are you sure you're okay?"

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"…"

"…"

The silence continued for a few minutes, before he finally heard Uruha sigh heavily.

"Okay. Fine. Whatever. Your life, your decisions. If you're going then there's nothing I can do to stop you. It's your funeral," he heard Uruha say and based on what he heard, Ruki quickly put the pieces together inside his head.

He could easily conclude that Reita was going because he was a bit jealous towards Uruha, judging by the way the bassist was talking. Ruki knew that his taller brunette friend might not even notice the last fact but there was a possibility that he _did_, because he was obviously letting Reita go.

But Ruki wasn't going to let that happen. _Ever_. He might not love him as he might a lover, but Reita meant everything to him and he wasn't going to let him go.

The vocalist ran his way to Reita's room, pushing the door open. He found Reita with a backpack and a shoulder bag in his hand, ready to leave, as Uruha merely sat on the bassist's bed in his sleeveless shirt and boxers, not even doing anything.

The two best friends looked up at the newcomer that had just entered the room and stared in a few minute's silence, before Reita indirectly broke it by walking past the vocalist without a single word, Uruha slowly getting to his feet. Without wasting any time, Ruki turned on his heels and followed Reita out into the livingroom through the hall.

"Chotto, Rei-kun!! Where are you going?" he asked, and Reita slowly turned, and seemed to weigh his words before answering.

"Home."

"D -- demo! Omae no uchi wa koko deshou!!"

"Ima no wa sou dewa nai."

"Well where are you going then? Miyavi's?"

"Where else? Miyavi-kun wa ore no koibito desu yo ne?"

"D -- demo -- !!" Ruki sputtered, but Reita already had his back turned. He went for the door and set his things down beside him so he could put on his shoes. Ruki's eyes were hidden behind his bangs, and he stayed quiet, standing in the middle of the room.

"Na… Naze ka, Reita-kun?" he asked quietly, and Reita stopped every kind of movement for a second or two, before continuing as if nothing happened. He had recognized, realized, felt, and what-not, the hint of mixed-up emotions in Ruki's tone of voice. It was a mix of sorry, hurt and fear, and Reita knew it all too well. But he had made up his mind and he wasn't going to make a fool of himself and take it all back.

"Nani mo nai," the bassist answered coldly, and he felt the air change. He knew Ruki was perplexed, and very hurt by his words, but he decided that he shouldn't care much. Ruki had hurt _him_ in the first place anyways.

The vocalist had told him that he loved him very much and asked him out and all, and Reita knew he was an idiot for trying to compare Ruki with Miyavi, but at the time, everything seemed so confusing. And just when he had made up his mind and when he had just decided that he was going to accept Ruki, he had found the small brunette in Uruha's room. And the explanation that he gave out wasn't really making a difference, nor did it make things better. Bluntly Ruki explained that Uruha had told him that he had mistaken his love for him when all he had felt was an affection, a love towards a sibling, and a bit of possessiveness because Reita reminded him of his brother.

Wasn't that just great?

Reita had finished tying up his sneakers and shouldered his bags. He looked behind him and saw Uruha standing by his bedroom door, leaning on the sill with his arms crossed, while Ruki still remained rooted on the spot. Reita reached in his pocket and took out a set of keys.

"I'm leaving this here, I don't think I'll need it," he stated, moving to place it on top of the shoe-rack beside him, but Uruha stepped forward until he was standing on Ruki's left and protested.

"No, take it. It's yours. Besides, I know you'll come back someday."

"I _won't_. I'm sure of it."

"Just keep it. Just in case you need help, you can always come over here. Okay?" Uruha insisted, and somewhere in his heart, Reita smiled. He grasped the keys and was about to turn around, when he suddenly halted in his tracks at a comment being thrown at him.

"No," Ruki suddenly voiced out, gazing hard at Reita, "If you're leaving this place, if you're leaving _me_, then you've no right to take those keys with you!"

"Ruki!" Uruha shushed him with a glare, but the vocalist ignored it, still glaring, and Reita glared back, annoyed.

"Fine. Whatever. Keep up the child act, Ru, and see for how long Uruha can last," Reita snapped, dropping the keys on the spot where his shoes had just occupied the rack and turned to leave. But Uruha shot forward and turned him around by his shoulders, taking the keys from the rack. He took Reita's wrist, palms up, and placed the keys there. The brunette then forced Reita's fingers to close around it, Uruha's hand clasped on top of his.

"_No_, Rei. You _know_ Ruki gets; he does _not_ mean it. Just _take_ it. I know you'll need it someday."

"But Uru-kun --"

"It's yours, and you are _going_ to take those keys with you wherever you go, and you'll _never_ leave it lying around," Uruha insisted, though he could clearly see the hesitation in Reita's eyes as the bassist stayed quiet.

"…"

"Reita. Can you do that for me?" he requested, the look reflected in his eyes sincere, and Reita nodded. Without another word, he opened the door and left, leaving a relieved Uruha and a stunned Ruki together in silence.

It only took five seconds before Ruki burst out his protest, though.

"Uruha!! _Why_ did you let him _go_?!" he demanded, but the brunette merely shrugged, leaving his current spot to head for the kitchen. Ruki gaped in disbelief at his friend's ignorance and ran after him. He found the tall brunette in the kitchen, standing next to a running microwave, checking out his nails.

"Wonder whether I should try a new color…" he mumbled when Ruki got in, staring at his black-painted nails.

"Uruha!!"

"Yup, that's me," he answered nonchalantly, turning to the electronic beside him when it pinged, checking the object inside before opening it and taking out a plate with a few sandwiches on it. He closed the microwave and placed the plate on the table, taking one for himself.

"There, eat," he said before walking out of the kitchen, munching on his food, heading to his room, leaving Ruki to stare at his back. The small brunette reacted quick, though, and ran after him, managing to grab the back of Uruha's white sleeveless shirt, thus bringing him to a halt.

"Uru, answer me, why did you let him go?" Ruki asked, more calmer now, and his taller friend turned.

"Because we need things to calm down. And it'll never happen with him being anywhere near you."

"But I don't want him to leave…" Ruki murmured, letting go of Uruha's shirt, and the brunette placed a hand on his hip, the other hand holding the sandwich that he was munching on.

"Then why didn't you stop him? It's your problem," he asked, but he cut the small brunette off before he could answer, and said, "And _no_, Ru, what you did earlier was _not_ stopping him, but giving him more reasons to leave," he stated, reading the Aquarius' mind perfectly.

Ruki replied in silence, feeling guilty. The taller brunette's gaze softened at the sight and he reached out to stroke the shorter one's cheek gently before turning on his heels and headed towards his room. He wondered how he never could've known that Ruki could be so childish and possessive while they had practically lived together for years. Was he really _that_ ignorant?

_Ruki had never clinged to me in any way at all anyways, so how could I know that he's like that? No wonder Reita chose to leave…_ he chuckled at himself, entering the comfortable confines of his room.

After a good three days or so, things cooled down between Ruki and the bassist, thanks to Uruha's daily (though a bit messed up) reports, making Kai decide that it was okay to have rehearsals now, even though they were still keeping up Operation "Get Miyavi and Ruki Out of Each Other's Sight", deciding that Ruki was still a tad too emotional to meet the guitarist.

Now, a few weeks have passed since their first rehearsal and they were now working on the songs for their DIM album. Ruki sang well, Uruha's guitar play was great and Reita stopped missing notes, making their two black-haired fellow band mates sigh in relief.

But that only lasted, as mentioned before, for a few weeks.

Aoi had been in his livingroom, relaxing in front of the TV, tuning in on MTV when Kai suddenly came bursting through the front door, slamming it shut, carelessly dropping his shoes and immediately made his way to their room. He didn't say a single greeting, he slammed doors and that could only mean one thing; the drummer was pissed.

The raven guitarist sighed in his seat and got up to his feet, following the drummer's steps to their room. As he calmly stepped in, he found his lover walking out of the bathroom with a damp face, meaning that he had probably been splashing water onto his face to calm himself down.

"Hmpf," Kai pouted cutely, taking off his clothes and changing into a loose shirt with shorts, not paying attention to Aoi's gaze. He then threw himself onto their bed afterwards, Aoi still leaning by the doorway. After a few minutes, though, the older male strode his way over to the bed, sitting by the bed's (and also Kai's) feet.

"Daijoubu ka?"

"Hmpf," Kai answered, his pout still on his cute face, his face clearly showing that he was pissed and that he really wanted to talk but didn't feel like it either. Aoi knew better though, he merely watched the younger male, counting down from 3 mentally. He knew that Kai could never hold in anything for long and that he was going to burst sooner or later.

_Better start counting…_

_3…_

_2…_

_1…_

"Damn it! Why can't they all just grow up and make things easier for us?!" Kai blurted out, sitting up all of a sudden, staring at Aoi for an answer that he obviously couldn't give as the older of the two sniggered mentally.

_Knew it…_

"Where'd you go?" Aoi asked, referring to the drummer's former absence. He had taken off right after rehearsal to come along with Reita to go somewhere and Aoi hadn't seen him up until now.

"Reita-kun's place. Reita-kun and Miyavi-kun's I mean. I just don't understand why they all have to be so stubborn and make a big deal out of an easy apology!!" Kai ranted, sitting up with his arms flailing around him in anger and frustration, "I mean, come _on_! All Reita had to do was just go over there and apologize, and you know what he said? 'He's got Uruha and he doesn't need me or my apology. I tried, I came over, and saw that he was just fine. He's _happy_'," he explained, emphasizing the 'happy' word in a mocking tone.

"And?"

"_And_?! I kept on persuading him but he kept on insisting, and then suddenly, _Miyavi-kun_, who doesn't even know how the _hell_ everything had begun, started to stand up for Reita-kun in his usual childish manner!! Can you imagine how pissed off it made me?!" Kai ranted, pouting in frustration.

But Aoi merely laughed to himself. Mentally, ofcourse. It was hilarious the way his usual calm and reserved lover was now acting. Kai was psyched over something that he usually had put up with almost every day.

"Well, that's Miyavi. There's nothing you can do about him."

"Well then take care of him!! He's _your_ cousin!!" Kai replied snappishly, indirectly blaming the older male for having a relative that looked a lot like him but is nothing like him at all. Which clearly means that he's starting to get a bit too stressed. Aoi knew that this would head off to nowhere.

"Aw, my little baby, come here," he cooed, wrapping an arm around the drummer's shoulders, scooping said latter into his arms. Kai merely obliged and wrapped his arms around Aoi's thin but strong waist, his head resting on the older one's shoulder.

"I'm just frustrated. That's all. This whole Reita and Ruki thing… With Uruha-san not making it any better… I mean, none of them want to apologize since they didn't feel like they've done anything wrong… Uruha-san doesn't even care much either…"

"Well, that's our bandmates. You know how they are. We've managed to live up with their crazy antics for the past few years, haven't we?" Aoi tried to soothe him, stroking the younger one's hair, holding his waist as well.

"I don't know… There's a point where people break, right…? I really feel like doing that right now," he mumbled, holding Aoi tighter, "But I just don't know how. What would you do?" Kai asked, looking up with his puppy eyes. The guitarist smiled warmly back.

"Well, there's always the guitar," he suggested, but Kai gave him a look.

"You use the guitar when you're _happy_, not frustrated or angry. Besides, I don't play guitar."

"Hmm," Aoi gave it a thought, "You could write some songs?"

"You can't even think up a decent beat when you're frustrated."

"Well, I don't know," Aoi pondered, "You could throw stuff at walls?" he suggested as a joke, and winced at the playful punch that Kai landed on his chest, laughing.

"I am _not_ going to destroy our belongings!" he stated, giggling, and Aoi soothed his hair.

"See? Now you're laughing."

"Mm-hmm… Thanks. But it still doesn't get stress out," Kai mumbled, and buried himself some more in the embrace. Aoi was still pondering about what could make his younger lover happy, and suddenly got an idea. He got out of the embrace and stood up, walking out of the room to go over to the livingroom, heading towards the bookshelf. He came back inside the room a few minutes later, holding a book in his hand. He threw it on the spot beside Kai on the bed.

"…?"

"There. You should read that. To get your mind off of things. Okay?" Aoi offered, walking over to ruffle the shorter one's hair, placing a kiss on his forehead, before walking out of the room to leave Kai with the book. The drummer read the title and smiled as he took it into his lap.

His lover really knew him. Kai always made food whenever he was stressed or angry, and the cook book that he was now searching through was a big help. He is now going to find the recipe for a nice yummy cake and he was going to make it specially for Aoi.

**---**

Things were cooling down. the GazettE had nearly solved their little affair with Miyavi and things were going quite okay. But things weren't happening as smoothly with their label mates.

"Gah!! What _is _it with you?!" Saga snapped at his blonde lover who merely stood in front of him with Hiroto holding his upper arm.

"_Me_? _You're_ the one who always leaves off without a trace!!" Shou accused back.

alice nine. were having a similar problem. Shou and Saga's relationship was going downhill and everyone in the group suffers because of it.

"Guys…" Nao tried, but he got cut off as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Tora shaking his head at him, clearly stating that whatever he planned to do or say won't make a difference. The drummer sighed as he realized that the guitarist was right.

"And it's because of _you_ who never even _tries_ to pay attention!!" Saga replied heatedly.

"_Me_?! _You're_ the seme in this, _I'm_ supposed to be the one complaining about _attention_!! _If_ it really _is_ the problem!!" Shou fired back, indirectly telling everyone that he was the uke in the relationship. The others _would_ have been laughing, if only the air wasn't so tense.

"Guys, can't we just stop this?" Hiroto begged, but the two blondes ignored him.

"This is going nowhere," Tora sighed to himself, flopping his body on to a random chair as his other two blonde band mates kept on arguing.

"Yes that's the problem and it's not the only one!! You're always gone after rehearsals and you won't even tell me where you went!! I have my rights to be suspicious!! Especially after I saw you get out of Shin's car!! He drove you home, didn't he?!" Saga answered heatedly.

"I met him on my way home and he felt sorry for me so he drove me over!! There's nothing wrong with that!!"

"He drove you over _every single day_ you're out there?! Couldn't you just call _me_?!"

"I didn't want to bother you!! I --"

"Look!" Saga cut him off, "If there's something going on between you two, just _say it_, Shou, I won't --"

Smack.

The vocalist didn't even bother to reply. He had slapped Saga right across the face and with a last shove by the bassist's shoulders, he turned on his heels and got out of the studio.

**---**

Ruki was starting to warm up to Uruha and he had seem to forget Reita's absence in their home. He could even talk and laugh with Reita again, even though they weren't as close as before, but it was good enough. Uruha took care of the vocalist like a little brother and Ruki's possessiveness had changed course and it was now directed onto the brunette. Uruha didn't seem to mind, though.

"Hey guys, I'm going out for a smoke. See ya," Uruha waved, getting out of his studio and into the hall, pressing the elevator button. A few minutes later, Aoi caught up with him.

"Hey, hold on," he called, and the two made their way into the elevator. They reached the first floor, a some kind of garden with a small pool and all, but it was still a part of the building. They lit their cigarettes and talked about everything and nothing, taking a drag once in a while.

"So he's being clingy to you?"

"Yeah. But I don't really mind. It's not bothering me much."

"No, ofcourse you don't mind. You don't even _care_ much about it, do you?" Aoi shot, and Uruha laughed.

"Yeah, I guess you could state it like -- Hey, hold it. Isn't that Shou?" Uruha suddenly changed the subject, squinting his eyes as he tried to define the lanky, blonde person that had appeared on the gardens, coming out from the elevator hall in sobs.

"Whoa. You're right. Wonder what happened to him," Aoi stated, pursing his lips in agreement, noticing his tears and stood up to talk over to the blonde when his keitai suddenly vibrated in his back pocket.

"Damn," he mumbled, fishing it out of his pocket and picked it up, "Hey. Yeah. Uh, no, we've just kind of finished… Yeah. Okay. See you there," he ended the conversation and turned to his friend.

"Who was it?" Uruha asked and Aoi shrugged.

"Kai. Wanted me back up there again. He had some trouble with editing the effects and all… He wanted me to help him."

"Oh okay. So you're going back up?"

"Mm-hmmm," Aoi replied, turning on his heels. As he was a few steps away, he turned back around and addressed the brunette, "Hey, Uru."

Said brown-haired puffball turned, "Yeah?"

"Do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Check on Shou, will you? He looks devastated."

**---**

Aoi had came back up a half and hour ago and Ruki was now fidgeting. Where did his guardian angel go? It shouldn't take Uruha too long to just finish one or two cigarettes, right? Aoi did say that Uruha was almost-finished when he got up here. So what's taking the brunette so long?!

"Ne, Aoi-kun… Are you sure that Uruha's still down there?" Ruki asked hesitatingly once again, and said guitarist turned with a knowing smile.

"Worried, are you?"

Ruki nodded.

"Well, don't worry. Maybe he went to find some food. You did say that he didn't eat any breakfast," Aoi assured him, but it still didn't make Ruki feel any safer.

"Oh. Um, okay… Uh, well, I guess I'll just go look for him in the cafeteria then," Ruki replied after a while, getting up from his seat, and he exited the studio. He walked along the halls and reached the elevator. Pushing the button, he still can't keep from fidgeting, somehow. He felt a bit uneasy and he just wanted to be around Uruha right now.

He didn't know _why_ it had to be Uruha, though.

The elevator pinged and Ruki stepped inside, pushing the first floor button. He immediately got out as soon as the door slid open, walking through the gardens and heading right for the cafeteria. He felt very anxious and he had to see where Uruha was right now. _Then_ he can calm down.

He reached his destination and walked in, looking around for his older friend. He was almost nowhere to be seen, until he spotted two lanky men, one blonde and one brunette, sitting by each other in a cornered table whom he both recognized immediately.

Uruha sat there in front of Shou, one hand holding the other's as he patted the vocalist's with his free hand. He seemed to be comforting his label-mate, who looked like as if he had been crying, and normally, Ruki would've not made a big deal of it.

_Normally_.

But he _wasn't_ being normal right now, and the pint-sized vocalist felt sudden anger rise at the sight. He didn't know why, but he just didn't like seeing the two of them so close like that. Even though he knew that Shou was still with Saga. Jealous, he walked up towards the two.

"-- not a big deal and you should just let it go. Explain him everything," Uruha suggested, and Shou merely nodded in desperation when the two suddenly noticed the short brunette walking in their direction.

"Ruki-san?" Shou mumbled, confused.

"Hey Ru. What're you doing here?" Uruha asked innocently, but his friend merely took his wrist and dragged him to his feet and out of the place. Shou sat by, stunned at the sight, and nodded knowingly at Uruha's sheepish, apologetic smile that clearly told him that he didn't know a thing either.

Once outside, Uruha managed to yank his hand back and both their steps came to a halt. Ruki turned around with a hint of jealousy in his eyes, arms crossed in front of his chest. Seeing Ruki's very defensive pose, the brunette raised an eyebrow. What was it with him? Uruha was merely giving Shou an advice. He didn't have to get so angry about it. Ruki knew that Aoi, Shou and he were as close as brothers, so what was bothering the vocalist so much?

"_What_?" the vocalist snapped, glaring daggers at the taller man. Uruha tried his best to ignore the killing aura that radiated off of the younger male.

"Why are you acting so weird?"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. Why did you have to drag me out of the place, then? I was only talking to him," Uruha shot, and Ruki pouted. He refused to explain his friend anything. Uruha should be more attentive, he should be able to read Ruki by now!! The vocalist turned on his heels and started to walk away, giving only one short, curt answer to the confused Gemini male.

"We've got a rehearsal to attend to."

**---**

Ruki had been quiet.

Usually, this wouldn't upset Uruha much. He would actually enjoy it since his vocalist friend, seeing his occupation, often turned out to be very vocal, and it kind of disturbed the brunette in his quest of finding peace and quiet inside his own house. Usually, Ruki would have Reita to cling to. But the bassist was not here right now and so Ruki had no other choice but to go and attach himself to the guitarist. Not that any of two the minded much, but still.

Unlike usual, the quietness bothered him. He figured that he felt like that not because of the silence, but because of the killing aura that had appeared around the mini-brunette. It was also frustrating in a way, since Ruki was acting perfectly normal (except for the silent treatment part). The Aquarius didn't lock himself up in his room, he walked around the house, he picked up phones, answered doors, he even sat _beside_ Uruha to watch TV, but didn't seem to acknowledge the taller brunette in any way. It now had started to piss Uruha off greatly since he started to feel seriously uncomfortable.

"Ru, how long are you going to keep this up?" the guitarist finally asked when the smaller brunette flopped beside him on the sofa, both watching "Kurosagi", a dorama that the station had decided to re-air once again.

"Keep up what?" he replied, pretending not to know anything, and cheered when Tomohisa, the one who plays as Kurosagi, succeeded into swindling a swindler on the screen, "Yeah! You go, Yama-P!!"

"Ruki, don't play dumb with me," Uruha demanded, but Ruki glanced side-ways at him and gave him an incredulous look.

"Why? You play dumb with other people, so why can't I?" he answered smartly, and then got up from the sofa to leave with Uruha staring at his back, dumbfounded.

So Ruki was actually starting to use his own tricks against him? _Boy, the kid sure learns fast_, Uruha chuckled. Well, Uruha was going to show him some stuff that he hasn't seen yet. The brunette got up, not even bothering to turn off the TV and followed the shorter one to his room.

"Why are you acting like this? Are you still angry about what happened with Shou-kun? I told you, it was only a talk, he had some trouble with Saga, that's all," Uruha explained, grinning inwardly as he saw the faint blush that crept up the younger one's cheek. Now he knew for sure what the real problem behind the silent-treatment was and he was going to have some fun with it.

"No. Whoever said I was angry?" Ruki denied, sitting down on in front of his computer, turning it on. Uruha followed inside and flopped onto his bed.

"Well if you weren't angry, why did you drag me out of the café?"

"I told you, we had rehearsal," the shorter brunette answered, typing in his password, and waited for the computer to load.

"Well if we had rehearsal, couldn't you've refrained from _dragging_ me to just _telling_ me? Shou-kun seemed quite stunned by that stunt you pulled, you know," the brunette informed, taking a bite from the apple he'd been holding in his hand the whole time. Ruki merely shrugged in his seat, and after he had clicked the mouse a few times, opening a word file, he turned his seat and faced the male sitting on his bed, giving him a look.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" the taller brunette frowned suspiciously. The answer that his friend gave made him gape more, too.

"Why did you guys have to be so… so… _fluffy_ towards each other?" Ruki suddenly asked, his eyes rather unreadable from their distance. But Uruha could note the obvious hint of jealousy in his voice. The older male merely grinned inwardly, and kept it as a mental thought.

"We weren't being _fluffy_, Ru. Shou-kun's like my own little brother, and Aoi thinks of him like that, too. Before Aoi went back upstairs, we happened to see Shou crying. Because Aoi had to go help Kai with the editing, he asked _me_ to go and ask him what was wrong."

"Well why did you have to check on him inside the cafeteria? You could've done it in the gardens."

"I haven't eaten anything and he seriously needed a drink to calm his sobs down. Besides, what's so wrong about two friends eating lunch together?"

"But still… Did you have to hold his hand and pat his head like that?"

"I did it to comfort him, Ru. His problem with Saga might not really _be_ a problem, but he's taking it quite hard. They're still kids, alice nine.," Uruha reasoned, taking in every change of emotion that Ruki made by every word that the brunette said, making it a mental note. He saw every persistent excuse that Ruki tried to make and reminded himself to ask Aoi about it later. The older guitarist was better at reading emotions.

"Sou ka?" was the only answer the smaller brunette gave after a long silence before turning his seat once again and started typing away. Uruha raised an eyebrow at the snappish attitude. He pursed his lips together in a thoughtful manner and got up to his feet, leaving the room and heading for his own. _What's wrong with that kid?_ he thought, but then he decided to shrug it off. Thinking about it will only burden him and it was obvious that Ruki didn't even want to talk about it anymore. So why bother?

The next morning though, rehearsal didn't go as well as planned. Disasters and unplanned events showed up in every corner. A few guitars had to be replaced because of some broken chords, Reita didn't show up because of a fever, the drums' double-pedal was broken, Kai went back home because of a headache, Aoi's older sister was having a baby and dragged Uruha with him, and Ruki could die from exhaustion since he was the only one left half-sane around the place, trying his best to take care of everything.

But he was soon losing what's left of that half sanity.

He was confused and quite freaked out, and he now knew why Kai had became so forgetful and clueless sometimes. It was quite stressful to be under this kind of pressure, and he was now left wondering about what will happen as he walked the halls of the building. Yuji had just informed him that his manager wanted to see Kai, but that he couldn't find the raven anywhere. He was told to just come to the manager's office if he happened to see him. And Ruki was now headed to that very office to explain to him that nobody from the GazettE was really there, except for himself.

The result was quite surprising, though.

"_What_?! An industry party?! _Me_?!" Ruki exclaimed loudly, not believing his ears, eyes wide as saucers. Manager-sama merely laughed at the reaction.

"Calm down, Ruki-san. We need a representative for the GazettE and since none of you are here, I've no choice but to put you in there. Besides, you're the vocalist, and you won't be alone. Your other label-mates will be there too, don't worry," Manager-sama had said, trying to convince him, "You wouldn't mind, would you?"

"Well, I -- I guess not…"

"Great! We'll have you leaving at seven, then!" the manager had stated happily, thus being the reason for Ruki's present presence in the expensive, elegant building. He was dressed elegantly, holding a glass of wine, standing in the midst of people whom he mostly had never even seen before, except for a few here and there, most being members of a band.

Looking left and right, he saw elegant men, beautiful women, gorgeous crossdressers and what-not, all talking to and through each other, and he didn't like this. At all. It just felt lonely, knowing that you didn't belong somewhere when you just _had_ to be there. He had given a message to the others -- he had given _two_ to Uruha actually -- requesting for their coming to the industry party as soon as they were done. But Uruha's message stated the words PENDING, Aoi's stated REJECTED, Kai didn't reply and Miyavi was kind enough to reply and say that it was completely impossible for Reita to get out of bed.

"Oi, Ruki-san!!" a cheerful voice suddenly called from behind, and Ruki turned to try and see through the mass of people. He didn't see anyone that he knew, though. He squinted his dark orbs, trying to look harder, though it didn't --

"Yo!!"

"Aah!!" he shrieked, obviously surprised, jumping a meter in the air as he felt a pat on his shoulder, then an amused laugh. The brunette turned and frowned at the laughing stranger.

"Whoa, take it easy there, I'm right here," his caller smiled, holding the hands of two women behind him and it took Ruki a few seconds to realize who this male before him really was.

"Toshiya-san?" he frowned, recognizing the black-haired bassist with his goofy smile. He glanced behind Toshiya and saw that the females behind him were actually _males_, and both were well-known guitarists.

"Mana-san, Hizaki-san, what are you two doing here? In dresses, too," Ruki commented bluntly, and Hizaki laughed as Mana gave him his usual ice-queen-like look.

"Hey there. This is our band's attire, so I kinda have to wear this," Hizaki explained with a sweet smile, a small white hat perched on top of his blonde dreadlocks, clad in a golden Aristocratic dress with white ruffles, faintly reminding Ruki of the clothes said guitarist wore in their album _Prince & Princess_. The blonde raised his dress a bit, showing Ruki that he wore matching golden shoes, commenting, "Though these heels are seriously killing me."

"Yeah, I can imagine the pain," Ruki winced, estimating the height of the heels to be somewhere around 5 to 7 cm, before turning to the other crossdresser, "What about you, Mana-san? Where did the gothic-vampire-look go?" the vocalist asked curiously, stepping forward to feel the fabric of the guitarist's new Gothic Lolita dress, now noticing that the sudden change of height was because of his leather platformed boots.

"I've given up looking like a vamp, I look like them enough with the basic make-up already. I'm wearing one of my new designs from Moi-Meme Moitie, so I'm like a walking commercial," he explained curtly, though faintly smiling.

"Yeah, turns out that Ice Princess Mana actually has a heart and likes to smile," Toshiya added in, referring to Mana's public-knowledge personality which turned out to be only half-true, embracing said raven. The latter merely glared and shoved Toshiya's arms off of him.

"Whatever. You're a pain, Totchi. _Seriously_," Mana glared, before turning to the other two, bowing, "Sumimasen, but I have to leave," he bid farewell, another faint smile crossing his lips before he turned on his heels and left. Ruki felt as if he was missing something as he saw the pout on Hizaki's female face.

"Mou, now look what you did, Totchi, you made Mana-sama leave!! We can't possibly go together! We need one more," he pouted, giving Toshiya a rare childish look. The bassist merely laughed mischievously and gave a glance towards the younger male standing beside Hizaki.

"Well," he shrugged, and then he turned at the obviously confused Ruki, "Ne, Ruki-san, would you like to fill in for Mana-sama?" he requested, and the vocalist frowned.

"Fill in? For what?"

"Well, Hiza-hime and I have agreed that we find industry parties boring. So we planned to go somewhere right now… but we need three persons. Or things might happen. And we wouldn't want that now, do we, Hime?" he asked suggestively, putting an arm around the latter's waist, who merely blushed, pushing his arm away.

"Not here, Totchi, _later_," he mumbled, and Ruki frowned at the odd sight. He figured that something was obviously going on between the two, but he decided to keep his mind off that one thought since he knew that it'd probably mean trouble for him if he knew.

"Uh, okay, sure," Ruki finally answered, figuring that his band mates will never show up anyway. He could do other, better things than staying at an industry party like this. Maybe he could finally have some wild fun with Toshiya-kun and Hizaki-hime, who knows?

**---**

"Where the hell is he?" Uruha mumbled, glancing at the clock every fifteen minutes or so. He had gotten home since eleven p.m. and two hours have passed. He had spent said time sitting on the couch or walking around the livingroom, but he had never let the front door out of his sight. Uruha sighed as he thought of the two messages and three missed calls that he had received, both from Ruki. His message sounded desperate and bored, and Uruha regretted his absence. If he had made it to the party, Ruki wouldn't be gone up so late.

It wasn't entirely his fault, though. His keitai was on low battery so he received Ruki's message a bit too late. Or, should we say, "a good twelve hours later" late. Uruha had immediately called back to his phone, but Ruki didn't answer. His keitai was dead and the tall brunette's call got rejected.

"Damn it, Ru, where are you?" he mumbled, nails tapping against the coffee table. But he knew it was of no use. Uruha then had decided to let the case rest on its own; he knew that Ruki could take care of himself perfectly. Shrugging it off, though still feeling rather insecure and worried on the inside, Uruha left for bed.

A half an hour later, somewhere around three in the morning, the front door creaked open and the sound of a key being inserted rang through the quiet apartment. Uruha, having set his Ruki-is-back-alarm, cracked his eyes open in an instant as soon as he heard the noise. He threw the blanket off his body, swinging his feet onto the floor. He moved to get up and walked over to his bedroom door, and was about ready to open it when he suddenly heard laughter. Suspicious, drunken laughter. And there were obviously more than two voices.

"Shh, not so loud, he might wake up," a gentle male voice shushed off the other set of giggles, even though the voice itself sounded gigglish.

"Nah. He's probably sleeping like a dead log," a voice replied, sounding careless even though his tone was now a bit shushed. And Uruha knew that one voice very well. Ruki.

"But still, we wouldn't wanna wake your boyfriend up," a third, cheerful but drunken-sounding voice added in, and a few giggles could be heard once again.

"My boyfriend? Pfft, I'd wish," Ruki answered, his tone now a bit more sober than earlier.

"But he's nearly _perfect_, Ru-chan!!" the slightly drunken voice claimed, "Tall, cool, patient, nice, a bishounen, beautiful, good at music, loves you, cares for you, well-educated…"

"Ignorant, hard-headed, careless, annoying, quiet, cold and _not_ my type! Can't you just drop it, Toshiya-kun?" Ruki immediately cut in, the sound of the gentle male's giggle could be heard faintly in the background as the slightly slurry voice -- or, according to what Uruha heard happened to be Toshiya -- made a slight whining sound at being cut off.

"Aww! I said he was _nearly_ perfect, Ru-chan!! Besides, he's pretty good-looking, you know! You'd be blind for turning him down!!" Toshiya's cheerful voice protested in a slight slur.

"Well, I wished I _was_ blind so I didn't have to lust after him that much," Ruki snorted, and somewhere in the back of his mind, Uruha knew that he felt very familiar with the person they were talking about.

Very, very, _very_ familiar.

"Aw, come on, don't be such an ice-queen! You don't wanna be like Mana-sama now, do you?" the gentle male voice giggled, emphasizing the name, as if making a joke out of it. He apparently _was_ making fun of Mana since a few seconds only lasted before the other two burst out in another set of drunken giggles.

Uruha rolled his eyes at the childish act, and now really cursed himself mentally for not being at that damned industry party. Sure, the mini-vocalist could take care of himself; but who would've thought that he would actually agree to go out _drinking_?! With the bassist of Dir en grey nonetheless!! The tall brunette shook his head and waited for the conversation to end.

"Totchi, don't be like that! It's up to Ruki to decide," the gentle voice said calmly when the laughter died, "Well, we better get going now. It's almost three and I've got rehearsal at eleven, and those Shirleys are really starting to kick in," he explained.

"Eleven? But an eight -- no, seven or six hours' sleep should be enough, no? You only drank three tequilas, and Shirley Temples are non-alcoholic, remember? You don't seem smashed at all," Ruki commented, but the gentle voice chuckled.

"Yeah, but I doubt that I'll _get_ the full six hours' sleep if Totchi's around," he explained, giggling suggestively, "You know how he gets in public; it's _worse_ behind closed doors."

"Closed _bedroom_ doors, love, bedroom doors," Toshiya corrected the owner of the gentle voice -- whom Uruha have finally concluded as the bassist's lover -- and Ruki chuckled. The two were apparently making a fun sight by the sound of that chuckle and Uruha was now seriously hoping for them to go.

"You guys are one crazy couple, Hiza-hime," Ruki chuckled amusedly, and Uruha frowned at the name.

_Hiza-hime?_ he thought, _that was _Hizaki_?! _The_ Hizaki?! Versailles no Hizaki is going out late to get drunk and is seriously dating _Toshiya_?! Wow, isn't his brain messed up_, the tall brunette laughed to himself, inwardly ofcourse, at the odd but fun fact.

"Na, sorosoro," Hizaki said, a smile obvious in his tone, and after a few shuffles, goodbyes and the sound of a closing door, the house fell silent. Uruha took this as his cue and pushed at the door handle.

In the livingroom, Ruki had let himself fall on the couch and he closed his eyes as he relaxed, his body sprawled all over the satin-red furniture. It had seemed a bad choice for him to accept Toshiya and Hizaki's offer when he heard that they decided to take him to Red Square, a very classy club in town with a well-known reputation (labeled as the place where most things and most people from every type gather, good and bad, sane and zany, drinks, drugs, sex and whatnot) and Ruki thought that he was going to get in serious trouble.

But it turned out to be fun. Sure, the place was very crowded and all, but it appeared that Toshiya had many friends at the club (including his two band mates that happened to be there) and the three of them didn't even join those other people, dancing and gyrating against each other like crazy horny bunnies on the dance floor, but they kept themselves sane -- though drunk -- by one of the tables, playing Truth or Dare with the bassist's band mate Die and a club-friend called Hime (the only two from a dozen that managed to survive his crazy dares) and with Hizaki's best friend Jasmine.

And _no,_ even though Hime and Hizaki had worn skirts (Jas hated skirts) and the three wore a pair of heels, Hizaki, Hime and Jasmine are not women. No matter how long their hair might be or how pretty they are. There are even crossdressers inside a club like Red Square and Ruki laughed when a few men had mistaken them for women and tried to flirt with them.

They dug up dirty little secrets from each other, they laughed at each other's crazy antics while doing their dares, they drank every type of drink the bar had. They had fun. It was simple, it was crazy, it was wild, but if was fun. Safe fun.

And Ruki never had been this happy for as long as he could remember. The stress with the band, with Uruha and Reita and all of the other things had really occupied his mind, and now, he was able to let go of all the tension. Coming home half-drunk didn't really matter much; it wasn't a huge problem. Sure, Uruha would get mad at him, maybe a small argument here and there, but the brunette was probably already drooling in his bed.

So, for the moment, Ruki was safe and there was no --

"_Ahem_."

Slightly scared, Ruki turned and found an arms-crossed Uruha standing by the hall, giving him a look that clearly told him that he was in deep trouble.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Oh. Uh, hi, Uru," the vocalist grinned sheepishly, but he knew that he needed more than just a smile and a few cover ups to get out of this one.

_Shit._

[To Be Continued]

* * *

Yea, it's set in the Distress and Coma era, where they are now working on their new album. Problem was, I forget what the name was. Correct me if I'm wrong, but according to my memory, it was called DIM. Or DAC. Or DNC. Or DNM. Either way, it started with a D. Can anybody fill me in on this?

Thanks to all of the people that have reviewed chapter one!! R&R for this one too please!! Bye bye!


	3. Revelations

Note : I'm sorry it took so long!! Enjoy!

**---**

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Oh. Uh, hi, Uru," the vocalist grinned sheepishly, but he knew that he needed more than just a smile and a few cover ups to get out of this one.

_Shit._

"Cat got your tongue?" Uruha commented at the silence that Ruki gave him.

"Uh, no, I just went out. That's all," the mini-brunette explained nervously, trying to get another topic for this conversation, "You're, um, you're still up?" he tried, but Uruha merely gave him a stern look and walked over to the younger one's spot on the sofa, standing a few steps behind it, his arms still crossed.

"Out _where_? The neighbor's? You certainly didn't go alone, did you?" he asked sarcastically, ignoring Ruki's question and indirectly demanding for a better answer. Ruki sighed. He knew that there was probably more emotion to it than just plain sarcasm, but what? Was it anger? Was he tired? Had Uruha already gotten enough of Ruki's crazy antics?

Was he -- may Ruki hope -- _jealous_?

"_No_, I was with Hiza-hime, Die, Jas and Totchi and we went to Red Square…"

"_Red Square_?" Uruha repeated incredulously, raising an eyebrow, "Right, whatever. With whom did you go there again?"

"Totchi… And Hizaki. Why?"

"What happened to the other two?"

"We met them there. In Red Square, I mean. The industry party only needed a minimum of two representatives so Die and Jas skipped it. Hizaki came with Kamijo and Totchi got dragged over by Kaoru-san," he explained, "And I was _supposed_ to be there with Kai, but he was sick…" Ruki trailed off, and as he suddenly came to realize something, his volume increased, "Hey!! Hold it! _I_ should be the one interrogating you!! Where the _hell_ were _you_?! I tried to text you but the report stated 'pending' and Aoi's message stated 'rejected'!!" he fired back, and Uruha grumbled mentally.

He had forgotten about that and he definitely didn't think that Ruki would bring that one little glitch up. He now knew where this conversation would head off to. Either a series of endless rows and arguments for the night, or a silent-treatment for the whole week.

_Damn_.

"I forgot to charge my keitai and Aoi's sister used his phone to call her husband," he stated, continuing, "But I should ask the same to you. I tried to call you as soon as I got home, but none of my calls got through. Let me guess, _low battery problems_?" the tall brunette guessed sarcastically, and Ruki huffed, crossing his arms.

"Don't you dare sneer at me!" the vocalist accused childishly, "It _was_ dead! It only survived until eleven before it committed hara-kiri," he pouted, his arms still crossed, getting up from the couch and around it, now standing in front of his taller guardian angel. The height difference was immediately visible as Ruki looked up and Uruha looked down, but the shorter of the two didn't really seem to care. They stood like that for a few minutes in silence, participating in the current glare contest, before Uruha decided to break the ice.

"What did you do at Red Square?" he asked, closing his eyes in a sigh and taking a few steps back.

"Stuff," Ruki answered curtly, "We drank, we laughed, played games, danced a bit before we left, stuff like that," explaining in a nonchalant way, moving to walk past the guitarist.

The air felt tense and Ruki just didn't feel like talking anymore. Uruha was probably only going to dig up some information and will tease him or protest about it, _and not because he cared_, Ruki thought.

Despite his own drinking habits, Uruha actually didn't like seeing or knowing that his "innocent" friends like Ruki and Kai having an alcoholic bottoms-up, especially without the "parental advisory" of the other three guitarists. He just cared about the two too much, and especially about Ruki.

"Right. 'Stuff like that'. What did you get?" he asked, turning around to face the shorter one's back.

"Nothing serious. Just a few Shirleys," he answered, not even bothering to turn around as he kept walking towards his room.

"I can smell the alcohol, Ru, don't try lying to me," the guitarist accused, and Ruki sighed, stopping in his tracks. He turned around and gave the taller one a glare. He knew it was pointless to try and lie about drinks towards an alcoholic expert.

"_Fine_. I got a White Russia, a Sex on the Beach, two tequilas, lots of Shirley Temples and what else I can't remember! I didn't have any full shots because I drank one glass together with Totchi to prevent me from getting seriously drunk. I probably got _everything_ that the bar had. _Satisfied_?" Ruki snapped, "Now could you _please_ not bother me about it?"

Ruki knew he sounded awfully bitchy, but he just wanted to set stuff straight before his beautiful -- though annoying at the moment -- guardian angel would rant about and give him a "sake corner" lecture. He could feel the annoyance radiating off the older male, but he decided to ignore it. The next comment, though, definitely got his attention and curiosity.

"Did you really get everything the bar had?"

"…"

"_Everything_ that Red Square had?" Uruha insisted, and Ruki wheeled around, facing the arms-crossed guitarist.

"Yes I did now what the fuck's your point?!" he snapped, and waited in half-anticipation at the brunette's answer. It didn't seem promising, but he was, however, curious.

"Did you get laid?" Uruha asked sarcastically, as if in a mocking tone, "Did it taste good?"

Ruki clearly saw that Uruha was seriously annoyed by his attitude, and somewhere in the back of his mind he knew there was a possibility that Uruha was seriously jealous, but he was just too furious -- and drunk enough -- to not care one single bit.

_What the hell did he mean by that?!_

Taking large steps, he strode over to the taller male and he didn't bother to waste any time. Reaching his target, he raised his hand and slapped Uruha's cheek harshly, glaring.

"I - am - _not_ - a fuckin' _WHORE!_" he emphasized, yelling his last words angrily. Giving the taller male one last death glare, Ruki ran across the living room and entered his bedroom, slamming the door shut, the sound echoing through the house.

He left Uruha by himself in the livingroom, cradling his burning cheek. That slap had stung like hell but he was actually a bit glad. When angered, Ruki usually hands out punches. And this means that Ruki still cares about him. Uruha actually felt sorry for what he had said, though. He honestly didn't know _what_ had came over him, it had just blurted out.

Yup, he'd admit it -- though only to himself -- that he was, in a way, envious. He didn't like the way Ruki snapped at him and he definitely didn't like the way that Ruki's laughs and giggles had sounded so cheerful earlier at the door. It sounded so happy and somewhere in his heart, he knew he was pissed off at the fact that it wasn't _him_ who had made Ruki laugh like that.

The next morning, Uruha had woken up earlier than usual. Aoi had told the younger guitarist to accompany him to the hospital to take care of some administration stuff; Aoi had never done any of this before and Uruha, luckily, had been through this whole pregnancy-maternity-thingies from the administrations to taking care of the baby itself; thanks to his sister who had given birth a few years ago. That also being the main reason why Aoi insisted for Uruha to help him.

The brunette had finished taking showers and stuff since a half an hour or so and was now lounging in the livingroom in front of the TV, waiting for Aoi to pick him up. He was watching some weird -- though quite funny -- random anime that he didn't know much about; he rarely ever tunes in these last few years, what being busy with the band and all; he just didn't have any time.

He had reached the part where a set of red-haired siblings called the Hitachiin twins were doing incest with a few yellow-gowned girls circled around them, screaming "Moe, moe, moe!!" in delight at the fanservice when the doorbell rang. Knowing that it was Aoi, the brunette turned off the TV and after checking that everything he needed was in his pockets, went over to the door and opened it, though he didn't exactly find who he was looking for.

"Ruki-ch -- Un?" a certain black-haired bassist greeted cheerfully, but immediately stopped in mid-sentence as he saw that this person in front of him wasn't exactly the one that he hoped to see.

"Toshiya-san?" Uruha frowned at the unexpected guest. What was this bassist doing here? Toshiya merely smiled, though, and immediately turned his cheerful attitude a few notches down, knowing that somewhere in his mind, the tall guitarist called Uruha didn't really like him much.

"Na, Uruha-san, gomen ne. Is Ruki-kun home?" he asked with a sweet smile, and Uruha frowned.

"Uh, yeah, but I think he's still sleeping. Doushite no?"

"Ano, we're actually going out again today. He told me last night that he was feeling rather tense and frustrated so I offered him another day out," Totchi explained, smoothing his shirt, and that was when Uruha had finally taken attention of the bassist's manly attire.

"I thought you liked crossdressing?" Uruha asked, seeing as he only wore a pair of jeans with sneakers and a thick black jacket, a blue long-sleeved shirt visible inside it, and Toshiya nodded.

"Yeah, sometimes only though," the bassist chirped happily, and Uruha sighed.

"Right. Come on in, then," he offered, giving him a small forced smile, letting the older male inside before closing the door. He motioned for Toshiya to sit down, and that was when Ruki came out running from his room, dressed in a white thin sweater and an old pair of jeans, still toweling his wet hair.

"Uru-ku --" Ruki started, but then he remembered that he was still angry at the guitarist and continued, "Um, I mean, who was it, Uru?" Ruki asked, his tone much more colder and then he caught sight of the smiling Toshiya who was about to sit down.

"Ohayo ne, Ruki-kun," he smiled, and Ruki beamed back.

"Totchi! You're here already! I am so sorry, I've slept in! I'm just going to get my other stuff and then we'll be going, okay?" the vocalist apologized with a guilty face -- though accompanied with a smile -- and Toshiya waved it off.

"Na, daijoubu yo! Just take your time!" he smiled, and sat down at the couch beside Uruha as Ruki disappeared, frowning at the anime.

"You watch anime, Uruha-san?"

"Iie. There was nothing better on. I'm just waiting for Aoi," he answered curtly.

"Ah, sou ka. Hm, that would explain stuff then, since I've never thought that a guy like you would actually watch an anime like Ouran High School Host Club, cause it's rather a shoujo-kind of anime… Don't you think so?" Toshiya asked, trying to break the ice and make a decent conversation, but Uruha merely shrugged.

"I don't know much about anime. Never wanted to, either," he replied, now sounding more snappish than curt, and Toshiya sighed inwardly, hoping to get out of the uncomfortable situation soon.

"Oh okay," Toshiya replied politely, and watched the OHSHC anime together with the younger brunette male for a few minutes, before the doorbell rang once again. Uruha immediately bolted up to his feet and strode over to the door, and felt like embracing the person standing there as it was exactly the person he was looking for.

"_Finally_ you're here!" he exclaimed at the older guitarist, and said raven frowned.

"Don't you sound exasperated. What's up?"

"Toshiya-san's here."

"Toshiya? Toshiya who?"

"Toshiya, _the_ Toshiya, Totchi from Dir en grey. Sound familiar?" he explained as his friend got in, closing the door, and Aoi smirked.

"Really? Cool," he mumbled, and suddenly raised his tone as he got out of his sandals, "Ne, Toshiya-kun, genki desu ka?" he asked to the livingroom, and said bassist immediately turned in his seat at the question, peeking over the side of the broad couch and smiling broadly as he saw Aoi standing there.

"Aoi-kun!! Hisashiburi ne!" the raven greeted, getting up from his seat and walking towards the younger male, embracing him, "I'm doing great! How are you?"

_Why do people around me know and like Totchi?! Am I the only one seeing something wrong with him?_ Uruha thought to himself, messing up his own hair as he followed Aoi inside.

"I'm fine too. What're you doing here, Toshiya-kun?" Aoi answered.

"I came to pick up Ruki; we're going out again today," said bassist answered, and even though Aoi had placed a smile on his face, his brain had warning bells ringing at the sudden fact and he glanced at Uruha, who now seemed really agitated. He was about to say something more, when Ruki got out of his room, looking lots better and organized now, holding his keitai and wallet in his hands.

"I'm ready!" he exclaimed happily, stuffing his things in the pocket of his jeans, greeting Aoi as he saw him, "Oh, hey Aoi! What're you doing here?" before he walked over to the door and put on his sneakers, motioning for Toshiya to do the same, all the while ignoring his room mate.

"I'm wanna borrow Uru for the day; he's gotta help me with my sister's stuff," Aoi smiled, "She got twins; both girl and boy."

"Really? That's awesome! My congrats for your sister!" Toshiya chimed in, "Did she decide on a name yet?" he asked, having finished with one shoe and fumbling with the other.

"Nah, she's telling me today," Aoi informed, glancing at Uruha, "Well, should we go?"

"Uh… Yeah, I'll just change my clothes…" he mumbled, but he didn't exactly move from his spot. Ruki arched an eyebrow at the statement since Uruha already was wearing appropriate clothes but decided to let it go. Both he and the bassist had finished putting on their shoes and had stood up to their feet.

"Whatever. Na, sorosoro," he waved at his band mates, taking Toshiya's wrist and opening the door, "You first, Totchi," and said raven obliged. They were already out the door when Uruha suddenly shot forward.

"Ne, Ruki, chotto," he called, taking the vocalist's hand, causing said brunette to turn around, his eyes showing an obvious glint of annoyance.

"What do you want n --" he started, feeling seriously agitated, but he effectively got silenced as Uruha pressed his lush lips against Ruki's own thin ones, licking his bottom lip gently before breaking away. He was slightly blushing, but succeeded into looking in Ruki's eyes, which were wide with shock. Behind him, Aoi stood with his hand over his pouty lips, chuckling slightly as Toshiya mouthed the word "Wow" with a smirk on his face.

"Ki o tsukete, ne?" the tall guitarist advised, stroking Ruki's smooth cheek. Said vocalist stood there frozen for a few seconds before he quickly came to and blushed shades and shades of red.

"Let's go," he mumbled, holding onto Toshiya's wrist tightly, dragging him out of there as the bassist still attempted to turn around and give Uruha the thumbs up, which, ofcourse, succeeded.

Closing the door, Uruha sighed and leaned against it.

"Great job," Aoi commented, "You made him blush and embarrassed."

"Well why _should_ he be embarrassed? It was only a kiss!" the brunette defended himself, "Maybe it was something I said…?" he added thoughtfully, and Aoi rolled his eyes, replying with sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Oh yeah, _definitely_ something that you said. _Now_ can we go?"

**---**

"He kissed you? That's awesome!! Why didn't you guys tell me earlier?!" a beautiful blonde guitarist exclaimed in protest, the other two merely shrugging in response.

"We forgot. Ruki didn't think that it was anything important anyways," the raven bassist replied.

The three of them were gathered in a local sushi-house, eating meatballs, salmon, shabu-shabu, steamed meat and what-not, accompanied by cups of tea.

The three of them had been driving around town the whole day, attending a festival that happened to be around before finally heading off to do some karaoke and watch a street-concert. They had decided to go and grab a bite in the end since Hizaki had only a few snacks and Toshiya only had a quick breakfast.

The three had then accidentally passed Moi-Meme Moitie, Mana's store, and the name of the clothing label, and Toshiya suggested inviting the guitarist to have dinner together with them since he missed the walk last night. After a long attempt of persuasion from Hizaki, Mana finally agreed to go but _after_ his work was done.

"But it's a huge improvement! Uruha-san can finally show some emotion towards you, Ru!" Hizaki beamed, sitting beside the vocalist as he picked out a piece of salmon with his chopsticks, wearing a female, ruffled golden-yellow tanktop with jeans and sandals.

"It's not as if he's _completely_ emotionless, you know," Ruki stated, stirring his drink, and Hizaki laughed his beautiful voice as Toshiya placed a piece of sushi inside his mouth.

"But it's something, and enough to make suspicion of. People could really start to think he's asexual. Never had a girlfriend, did he?" the bassist asked, as he sat on the seat opposite of the two, and succeeded into avoided a flying shrimp that Hizaki threw at him out of the blue, commenting, "At least Uruha-san's better than you! It's harder for me to find a person whom you _haven't_ slept with than a stray cat in a dump, both genders applied!!"

Toshiya winced at the accusation his boyfriend threw at him and quickly apologized as Ruki laughed at the situation around him. The small argument soon ended, though, as Hizaki stopped pouting and turned to greet a certain Gothic guitarist who had just arrived, teasingly, "There you are! Took you long enough! What's with the heels, Mana-sama?"

"They're _men_ shoes, Hizaki," Mana glared softly, "Unlike _your _clothes," taking his seat by the table beside Toshiya, "What were you guys talking about, anyway?"

"Uruha-san kissed him at the door before he left," Hizaki explained, pointing at Ruki who sat beside him with his chopsticks, the salmon still between them. Ruki pouted and immediately took the piece of fish as a sign of protest.

"Hey!" Hizaki protested, and punched Ruki's shoulder playfully before reaching out for another piece on the table.

"Maybe he really loves you," Mana suggested, breaking his chopsticks apart, "Itadakimasu."

"Itadakimasu," Toshiya replied as Mana took a few pieces of meat and placing them inside the steaming pan, "Well I think he's jealous. He doesn't like seeing you go out with me. Or any of us for that matter," Toshiya chuckled, and Ruki shrugged.

"Whatever. I don't care. We kiss often enough, on and off the stage. It's no big deal," he mumbled, taking a sip of his strawberry juice, "Maybe fanservice don't really count, but a kiss of affection doesn't either. Maybe he just thinks of me as a brother, who knows?"

"You're so in denial," Hizaki smiled, taking a piece of meatball and placing it in his mouth before he realized something.

"Oh!! Mm!! Mm!!" he hummed to get the other three's attention, chewing on his meatball quickly and swallowing it as he waved his hand in front of his mouth, "Mm, I forgot! You haven't eaten anything!" he suddenly exclaimed out of the blue, and Mana frowned.

"What, me? What does _that_ have to do with anything?" he asked, but Toshiya giggled as Hizaki rolled his eyes.

"Not _you_, Koori-Hime, _Ruki_! He hasn't eaten anything!"

"I am _not_ an Ice Princess, Hiza!" Mana grumbled, now starting to think Hizaki's offer over. It only has been three minutes and he already got teased.

"Okay, okay, sorry! You don't have to be so angry, Mana-sama," Toshiya soothed the person beside him lovingly like a little brother would, putting his arm around the Gothic guitarist's shoulders, stroking it. Mana pushed it off, though, turning to the two in front of him.

"Back to Ruki, I thought that he had just bitten off your salmon?"

"Mana-sama, one piece of salmon doesn't really make a difference. He hasn't eaten anything the whole day and I _know_ that he hasn't eaten any breakfast," Hizaki explained, giving Ruki a motherly-accusing-look, but the vocalist shrugged it off.

"Hey, I'm drinking strawberry juice. It's _healthy_. I'm not supposed to eat at night anyway, it'll make me fat."

"You're _thin_, Ru. We _all_ are," Toshiya stated as-a-matter-of-factly, and Mana nodded in agreement.

"It's okay to eat at night if you've been fasting the whole day. Besides, drinking iced, cold juice at night on an empty stomach isn't as good for your health as everyone thinks," the dark-haired guitarist reasoned, but still Ruki won't listen.

"I'm okay; I'm not hungry at all!" Ruki defended himself, but Toshiya laughed.

"You. Are so. _Lovesick_!!" he emphasized to the younger male beside him, and said brunette pouted.

"I am _not_!"

"Then eat this," Hizaki offered, holding up a pair of chopsticks with a piece of meat between it, "Shabu-shabu is good for you, love," but Ruki merely smiled rather slyly.

"Only if you'll feed me here," he flirted with an inviting grin, knowing that Hizaki would fluster at the idea, just like any of his band mates would. The guitarist was, however, _not_ one of his band mates and he had been sticking around Totchi for too long.

"I wouldn't mind feeding you _anywhere_," he replied more invitingly as he leaned in, and Ruki's plan backfired as the two laughed (Mana doesn't laugh; you're lucky to get him to smile broadly) at the twenty shades of red creeping up his cheeks.

"He looks so cute!!" Toshiya exclaimed like a rabid fangirl and was about to lean over the table and hug the vocalist when Mana hit his head.

"Can't you _behave_ once in a while? We're in _public_, for crying out loud!" the black-haired guitarist hissed, and ignored the sheepish grin that Toshiya then gave him.

"Well?" Hizaki looked at the youngest of the three expectantly, still holding out his chopsticks. Ruki then shyly obliged, leaning forward and opening his mouth as Hizaki gently put the meat inside.

"Aw! That's a good boy," the blonde guitarist cooed in a loving manner, hugging him possessively as Ruki was still chewing, "You're so adorable! I wish you were my little brother!!" he exclaimed and this time, Mana managed to put up a small smile at the cute sight.

Their little sushi-dinner continued until the three guitarists felt full; Hizaki had been slightly forcing Ruki to eat and continued to feed the young one until he protested. They paid for everything and got out on the street with laughter.

"You guys look like a mother with her child, with you feeding him like that," Toshiya stated a bit jealously, his arm around Hizaki's thin waist as they walked towards his blue car, "You've never fed me before."

"Aw, don't worry, love. Just wait until we get home," Hizaki replied suggestively to the taller male, leaning up to sloppily kiss him as Toshiya returned the kiss from behind.

"Ugh. Get a room, you two!" Mana protested in slight disgust though there were traces of amusement in his tone of voice. Ruki merely laughed at the fluffy sight and joined the three older guitarists.

"Hey, it's already late, I gotta get home. Mata aimashou," Mana bowed before heading off to his own black car and riding out of the parking lot.

"Well, we better get home too," Toshiya offered, and the three got in the car as Hizaki offered to drive the pint-sized vocalist home first.

**--- **

"What's Ruki's problem anyway, treating me like that?" the brunette guitarist asked into the open air, sighing in frustration. Ruki had been the only thing on his mind lately and it was aggravating. The younger brunette had been occupying his thoughts with the weirdest stuff that made him seriously curious.

"Uh, let me guess; _you_?" a distant voice answered sarcastically from the kitchen, the sound of running water resounding through the otherwise quiet house. It only took a few seconds before he heard a cupboard door getting smashed.

"Not funny, Aoi. What're you doing back there, anyway?" Uruha asked, slightly sitting up and gazing towards the lit area kitchen, obviously hearing the suspicious noises, but he didn't exactly see any signs of life back there. Aoi answered in minutes, though.

"It's not illegal to be thirsty, is it?"

"Whatever. Just don't wreck my house."

Uruha grumbled as he leaned more into the couch's armrest, taking up almost all of the furniture as he laid upon it. He had his arms crossed and under his head, staring at the ceiling thoughtfully. A shrugging Aoi came walking out of the kitchen, holding a glass in his hand, frowning at the brunette as he reached said red furniture.

"Hey that's my seat."

"It's my property."

"But I just sat there."

"Don't see your name on it," Uruha replied, eyes still fixed to the ceiling but yelped when Aoi shrugged and stubbornly sat on his legs.

"Get off me!" he grumbled as he took his legs back and sat up, Aoi chuckling and putting down his glass on the coffee table.

"Learn to share, love," he cooed sarcastically and laughed as he caught a red pillow that Uruha had sent flying to his face.

"You're annoying, you know that?"

"Hey, you're the one who asked me to stay," Aoi answered calmly with a shrug, turning on the TV.

"Whatever…" Uruha mumbled in response, and the two of them stayed in silence for a while, until Aoi decided to check the clock.

"Where's Ruki? It's already ten p.m."

"…So?"

"He should be home by now. He's been gone for almost twelve hours, and -"

"Nine."

" - yeah, okay, _nine_. Aren't you worried or anything?"

"… Guess not," he answered, but quickly changed his answer when he saw the look on his band mate's face, "Okay, okay, yeah. I'm worried about the chibi," but that was all he said. Uruha then kept staring at the half-curtained windows blankly, as if trying his best to work something out.

"Something interesting on the window panes?"

"Nothing. There's just this… _thing_ I keep thinking about," the brunette answered in a mumble, and after hesitating for awhile, "Have you ever noticed how much like a girl Ruki could act like?"

"_What_?" Aoi stared, lips formed in an uncertain smile, almost ready to burst out laughing, "You're not serious, are you?"

"No, really! I mean, listen to this; he's emotional, clingy, possessive, envious… It's not really usual for a guy to show all _that_, is it?"

"Well… some guys do. I mean, Shou cried the last time we saw him," Aoi tried to compromise, shrugging, and Uruha nodded vigorously, agreeing to his opinion, scooting closer to the elder man.

"Exactly!! Shou's a walking phenomenon as well!! And that's exactly what I wanna talk about."

"Huh? Shou? I thought we were talking about Ruki?" Aoi frowned, and Uruha waved it off.

"No, no, no. Look, remember the time when we saw our otouto crying at the gardens?"

"Uh, yeah? I went up earlier and I asked you to take care of it, right?"

"Yeah, so I did. It turned out that he was having a ridiculous problem, both thinking that the other was cheating and other fluff stuff like that, and since Shou's…" he trailed off, looking around for the right words, "Well… _sensitive_, I had to at least make him stop crying and biting my head off, so I took him for a drink."

"Whereas Ruki found the two of you and threw a fit, correct?" the tall raven continued, and his younger friend nodded.

"Yeah. He just dragged me out of the café and started giving me a silent treatment throughout the whole day! When I finally asked him about it, he started to ask me dumb questions like why I had to be fluffy with Shou, or why I didn't just talk to him in the gardens instead of the cafeteria, why I had to hold his hand or pat his head; stupid stuff like that!!"

"Hold it. You pat Shou's head? You think he's a dog or something? You are so tactless, you know that?" Aoi laughed at the new piece of information, and Uruha grumbled playfully.

"Yeah, okay, _fine_, I'm tactless; so what? I never was good with girls. Most of them freak the shit out of me. And being stuck with Ruki sometimes makes me feel like living with one."

"Your problem, dude, not mine," Aoi answered, raising both hands in a sign of defeat, "Kai ain't showing the weird chick-symptoms."

"Not my field to know. Anyways, what'd you think that had made Ruki like that?"

"Hm. That _is_ a bit of weird, and funny too, but it's kinda obvious actually. He's jealous. He doesn't like seeing you romantically or suggestively close to other people. Even though he knows that the three of us -- you, me, Shou -- are like brothers, but somehow, he's still not okay with it. If we weren't band mates, there's a possibility that he won't like you being close to me either."

"But what's his point? At the time when he said it, it was as if he was waiting for me to say something, but I don't know what!!"

"Well, I guess he's a bit insecure. I don't know why. And _no_, you can _not_ ask him that personally, unless you want him to ignore you for the rest of your life," Aoi quickly added in when he saw the thoughtful look on Uruha's face.

"Oh. Right. Well, what should I tell him then? Not that I care much, but it's getting rather annoying," the brunette asked for a solution, and it took Aoi a few minutes to think before an evil smile spread on his face.

"You could always say that you love him," he suggested, holding back a laugh, and Uruha glared at him in sarcasm.

"I did _not_ just hear you say that."

"Yeah you did," Aoi replied with a grin, and Uruha was about ready to fling the remote at his head when the doorbell rang. The older of the two glanced at the younger one and pointed at the door.

"Aren't you gonna open that?"

"You do it. Unless you'd rather have me deck your pretty friend's face," Uruha answered, referring to Toshiya, and with a shrug, Aoi stood up and took over the house host's job. He sauntered over to the door and opened it, revealing Ruki with a pretty blonde girl that somehow seemed very familiar. Ruki laughed at the confused face and answered his unspoken question for him.

"It's Hizaki, Aoi. Versailles' guitarist? Toshiya's decided to stay in the car in fear of a certain _someone_," he explained, and Hizaki nodded.

"Yeah. I'm kinda grateful since it's you opening the door. Totchi already had a feeling that Uruha-san didn't like him much."

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know," he mumbled to himself before turning to the two, "Well, okay then. Thanks for not running off with him," Aoi joked and Hizaki shrugged.

"Consider yourself lucky; I was about to. He's just so cute," the guitarist smiled playfully, putting an arm around Ruki's shoulders and hugging him playfully, before letting go and commenting, "Well I'll leave you guys to your own devices, then, it's already late."

"Okay. Thanks for having me," Ruki smiled, and Hizaki bowed politely with a smile one last time before turning around and walking back towards Toshiya's blue car. Ruki and Aoi both made sure that he had entered the car safely before Aoi closed the door. The shorter of the two then kicked off his shoes lazily and took a minute to observe his surroundings. He saw Aoi, and the TV was on, so Uruha was probably on the couch. He sighed and walked right past the taller raven, who frowned and immediately took his upper arm.

"What, you're suddenly not talking to me as well?" he demanded. Ruki sighed and turned around, ruffling his mass of brown hair.

"I'm just tired. Sorry. We've got rehearsal tomorrow, right?"

"Not in my schedule, no. Why?"

"Nothing. It just means that I can sleep in later in the morning," Ruki decided, and he darted off to his room. Aoi stared at him with a blank look before shrugging and walking back to the couch, letting his body fall beside his band mate.

"And you just had to ignore him, hadn't you?" Aoi accused, "It's just going to make matters worse, you know," but again, his band mate shrugged. The tall raven sighed heavily and gave up on the matter. Whatever problem that the two brunettes were having was either really complex or they just didn't bother to solve it. Either way, both brunettes didn't seem to be in the mood for talking.

He was about to stand up and leave, weighing whether he should go to Ruki's room first, when said little brunette suddenly showed up out of nowhere and sat beside him, wearing only an oversized monokuro-iro t-shirt, slightly showing off his white thighs as he sat down. He just stared at the TV as if no one else was there and Aoi shook his head.

Looking left, he saw a tired Ruki watching TV. Looking right, he saw an occupied Uruha staring absent-mindedly at the window panes. And they weren't talking. Aoi was stuck in the middle of a Silence Contest and there was nothing that he could do about it. _I give up_, Aoi thought, and he stood up to his feet, really moving to leave this time.

"Where you going?" Uruha asked, looking up, Ruki doing the same. Aoi sighed and turned.

"Uchi de. Ruki's back already; you guys won't be really needing me anymore, ne? Besides, I don't feel okay about leaving Kai alone at home for so long. He still has that headache, you know."

"Oh. Okay, I'll walk you," Ruki exclaimed with a heavy, tired sigh, and Aoi didn't even bother to decline the offer, seeing as the vocalist would keep insisting.

"Ki to tsukete, ne, Aoi-kun?" the vocalist smiled tiredly as Aoi put on his shoes and the older guitarist nodded. Aoi opened the door and walked out as Ruki waved a goodbye, before closing the door tiredly and leaning against it. The room was suddenly spinning before his eyes, and he didn't know why. His small body slumped against the door as his breathing started to become ragged, _what's wrong with me?_ he thought, slowly sliding down the door and sitting down against it, eyes closed as he faced the ceiling.

He was so focused on his current condition that he didn't notice Uruha walking past him to the kitchen. Frowning, the taller brunette refrained from his steps and approached him instead, pressing the back of his hand on his neck and forehead.

"Is my hand too cold or is your body temperature too warm?" he asked the shorter one, whom clearly didn't answer, and Uruha shrugged. He stood up and left the smaller one for the kitchen, only to return with a glass of water.

"Here, drink this," he said, handing Ruki the water, "You look awful. Where've you been?" he asked, crouching down in front of his friend, looking a bit worried.

"Everywhere," the vocalist answered curtly, gulping down the water, but then changed his answer as he felt the stare through his closed eyes, "Tokyo. I've been around Tokyo."

"And Tokyo's sure a small city," Uruha replied sarcastically, and Ruki grumbled at the tactless act that his guardian angel has been putting up. It's obvious that he's not in the best condition to talk, think or even _breathe_, but it's also obvious that Uruha's not trying to notice it either.

"I've been watching a street concert, been to a festival, did some karaoke, and went off eating at a sushi house. _Don't_ make me remember names," he answered curtly, knowing that it was exactly the answer that Uruha had hoped for. He sighed and still had his eyes closed, allowing Uruha's hand to press itself onto his forehead and neck, checking his temperature.

"You're building up… Did you eat yet?" the brunette guitarist asked, and that was when Ruki remembered the little glitch, and the possibility that it might've been the main cause for his now upcoming nausea. To avoid further arguments, the younger one chose to stay quiet, but then quickly concluded that it wasn't the best of decisions when his band mate raised his tone.

"Well?" Uruha demanded, and took Ruki's quietness as a negative answer, accusing, "You didn't eat anything, did you?"

"Hizaki fed me bits and pieces here and there, and I drank strawberry juice. It's enough food. I can't eat too much, remember? It's bad for my stamina."

"What stamina? You've been in a bad condition ever since Reita left the house and you've not been better since! It's a good thing it's not affecting your vocals!!" Uruha reasoned with him, "And now you're trying to skip eating as well? What're you trying to do, kill the band?!"

"… … … Are you going to help me up or are you just going to sit there yelling at me?" Ruki replied after a few minutes of silence, now getting aggravated. He knew that Uruha was right -- I mean, when was Mr. Logical ever wrong? -- but that was what he hated the most. Can't his guardian angel just drop it for once and focus on taking care of him instead of rubbing in his mistakes right in his face?! It wasn't as if he was getting sick on purpose, but still, can Uruha seriously be more tactless than this?

"I'm not yelling at you! I'm just trying to talk some sense into you! You've not eaten anything for the whole day --"

"I ate the stuff that Hizaki fed me," Ruki cut him off, insisting, but Uruha groaned and raised his tone a bit, getting seriously annoyed. Why can't this kid just listen to him for once?!

"Don't be so stubborn! Eating small things like that won't get you one single bit of energy!!" the eldest of the two stated, but Ruki still refused to listen. He didn't like the way Uruha was acting, _at all_. The guitarist had never really cared for him, he was almost never there when he needed him, and when he _was_ there, all the brunette did was annoying him. So what right did Uruha have on telling him what to do?

Aggravated, Ruki groaned and managed to get himself on his feet with the few strength that he's got left, walking towards his room. But Uruha being Uruha, he wouldn't take something uncertain or silence as an answer and took Ruki's upper arm, halting him in his tracks.

"Where're you going?" he demanded, but Ruki merely claimed his arm back roughly.

"Ore no heya deshou. I'm tired and I want to sleep," he replied curtly.

"_Tired_?! Tch, mochiron!! Yeah, no wonder you're tired. The only thing you've been doing for the past two days is going out and coming home late!" Uruha accused, and that was when Ruki momentarily forgot the nausea and headache; his anger won over it all.

"Don't you _dare_ to go and tell me what to do!! You've got _no_ right whatsoever!! When I needed you, you were never there and when I needed your attention you never gave me any! And now you go around telling me to not go socialize with other people and act as if you care about my health!!!" Ruki ranted, and Uruha gaped in disbelief.

"I _do_ care about your health! If you're sick, _I'll_ be the one responsible for you!!" he answered, but the more logical the answer was, the more annoyed Ruki got.

"If being responsible for me is such a burden to you then why do you even try to care anyway?!" he shot heatedly, and Uruha stared at him skeptically. What kind of a question was _that_?

"Because you're the band's main asset, my room mate and one of my best friends! Isn't that a good enough reason?!" Uruha answered reasonably, and Ruki stared at him, not daring to believe his ears. Turns out that Uruha was more than tactless, or dyslexic. Maybe his feelings were right all along; Uruha _was _emotionless. It was obviously impossible, but Ruki wasn't exactly in his right mind either, so whatever first thoughts that happened to pass his mind he accepted.

"Oh. Great. So that's all I am to you," he mumbled, obviously pissed, and Uruha frowned.

"Ofcourse you are, what else could there be?" the taller brunette asked, obviously confused at his friend's reaction. The vocalist merely stood there in the middle of the hall, before he finally mumbled three remarkable words, that Uruha didn't catch on time.

"…"

"Excuse me?"

"I hate you," Ruki repeated, a bit louder this time, and Uruha stared there in awe, staring at the vocalist in disbelief, the smaller one continuing on a higher tone, "I _hate_ you and I don't know how the_ hell_ I could've actually thought that it was even _possible_ for you to love me back!!" he exclaimed heatedly in anger, only to blush twenty shades of red when he suddenly realized what he had said. Uruha was still staring, his mind now really losing track of what Ruki had just said.

_Ruki loves me? In what way?_ he pondered, but he didn't have much time to think about it when Ruki huffed and turned on his heels. The brunette felt highly embarrassed already and the dizziness was starting to really get to him. He continued his walk towards his room, but stopped and rested his whole weight on his arms as he leaned forward against the wall, the room spinning in front of his eyes and he felt his head in the clouds. Everything just felt so light somehow, and it only took a few seconds before everything around him turned to black.

Ruki's small body fell to the ground, everything happening too fast for Uruha to catch up. Panicked, the guitarist rushed over to the comatose body on the floor. He took Ruki in his arms and lightly tapped his cheek, trying to wake the vocalist up, but to no avail.

"Ru? Ruki, wake up! Me o mitte; Ruki!!" he tried once again, "Chikusho," Uruha finally cursed as he knew that it wasn't going to work at all. Sighing heavily, he hoisted Ruki's extremely light body into his arms and carried the vocalist off to his room, settling him beneath the blankets.

Uruha sighed; This was going to be a long night.

**---**

It was only seven a.m. in the morning and the phone already rang. Reita groaned as the noise added up to his headache; even though he already felt better enough to go attend rehearsal doesn't mean that the fever he was in didn't leave any souvenirs. He was still coughing and his headache was still bugging him.

"Ugh," he mumbled in annoyance, dragging himself off the kitchen stool, leaving his breakfast to pick up the phone, knowing that Miyavi was still in the shower.

"Moshi-moshi?" he greeted into the receiver, and frowned as Uruha's voice went through.

"Ne, Reita?"

"Un, Uruha-kun. Doushite no?"

"D'you happen to have Kai's new number? I tried calling Aoi but none of my calls got through. And I forgot his house number. Don't ask."

"Oh, right. Well, yeah, I think I have it, but I don't have my keitai with me right now. Why, what's wrong?" the blonde bassist asked, feeling suspicious at the slightly panicked tone that his childhood friend wore.

"Well, I wanted to tell him that rehearsal's cancelled today; Ruki's sick and the doctor's coming over later at ten. He collapsed last night," Uruha informed, sounding extremely tired. Reita knew that he must've been taking care of the vocalist.

"Sick? With what?"

"Wakarimasen; maybe he's too tired or something. He's temperature's reaching 38.5 degrees and as far as I remember from High School, only girls can last up to 40," he told him, now sounding worried. Reita chuckled at the tone.

"Worried, huh?" he asked skeptically, and Uruha replied snappishly, sounding extremely bothered.

"Ofcourse I am! He's the only guy able to stress me out and scare the mickey out of me with all of his crazy antics!!! Seriously, Rei, _how_ could you have lived with him?"

"How could _you_?" Reita asked in return, and laughed to himself as he heard Uruha reply indignantly, though it was obviously also a bit amused.

"Don't ask me back!" he replied, sounding pouty, and Reita laughed.

"Sorry. I just like teasing you. Well, I just _happened_ to survive. Like you. I'm just more patient and less tactless than you are; that's all. That's why he likes me more," the bassist replied in a rather smug tone, and Uruha grumbled.

"Yeah yea, rub it in my face, Rei. How's Miyavi?" the guitarist asked, changing the subject, but the tone it was in made Reita a bit uncomfortable. He turned, glancing for good measure at the direction of the bath room, before answering in the most possible calm way he could muster.

"Uh, Meevs's doing great. Why? What you want with him?" the blonde asked back, and Uruha hesitated for a few seconds before answering.

"Ano… Would you think that he'd let you go for a few hours to come over? I really need your help this time."

**---**

It was still only seven thirty and Aoi was still relaxing on the bed he shared with Kai. They didn't have rehearsal until eleven and that was also the main reason why he was taking everything slow. He didn't like rushing things in the morning, and he had almost convinced Kai to not pick up the phone when it had rang a few minutes ago.

But the drummer insisted on getting out of bed with the reason that no one would call on ungodly hours for no good purpose. The theory soon proved to be correct as Aoi heard the younger one exclaim out loud in disbelief in the direction of the livingroom.

"He's _what_?! How?!" Kai shrieked into the receiver, obviously not wanting to believe what he had just heard.

Aoi merely grinned to himself, shifting on the bed to make himself comfortable. He knew what was coming up and decided to relax himself before Kai came bursting inside the room, ranting about God-knows-what. Probably something about Reita and Miyavi, or some obscene task that their rather hyper manager had put onto the drummer's shoulders to bear.

"Dare ka?" Aoi asked as Kai flopped down beside him, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. As he had expected, it only took a few minutes before Kai showed up at the bedroom door, face exasperated. But the guitarist was a bit surprised at the problem that Kai soon told him.

"Uruha-san desu," Kai answered curtly, closing his eyes, "He said that Ruki-san had gotten sick, a possible fever or something, and the doctor won't come until ten. So rehearsal's cancelled. I think there's more to this than just plain fever, though. Uruha-san sounded so occupied…" Kai pondered for awhile, before turning to his side and gazed at Aoi, "Did you notice anything weird between them last night?" he asked the older male, and said latter shrugged.

"I've seen nothing but Cold War II. They've been giving each other the silent treatment. Ruki did look a bit pale when he arrived, but he seemed just fine when I went home."

"Geez… Producer-san is going to kill me," Kai sighed into the air, "There're too many things left unfinished! We've got to make a few set of new songs to follow into our DIM album's steps, _and_ we also have to prepare for the 7-day tour as well… Not to mention all of those interviews we have to attend, and those photo and video shoots that are scheduled next week… I really hate this," Kao complained quietly, closing his eyes. Aoi merely smiled apologetically and scooted closer, putting an arm around the drummer's waist, nuzzling into his chest.

"Calm down… It's not as bad as you think. Our album's due to be released until May twenty-something and the seven day tour is _after_ the release of the album, so there's not much to worry, okay? We can fill in for each other if it's only interviews," Aoi reasoned, trying to calm his younger lover down. But Kai merely sighed heavily once again.

"But what about those shoots? And what am I supposed to say to Producer-sama when things don't go so well as planned? This whole thing's really starting to get to me," Kai explained, exasperated and tired. He was in over his head with this whole thing and he shouldn't even try to start to mention the deadline problems that the band already had.

"Well don't make it a big deal, okay? Just relax. The only thing that we can do now is go and visit Ruki so he can heal faster than scheduled," the raven reasoned, hugging him tighter, "Besides, you're great at cooking, aren't you? I bet Ruki'll be back on his feet in no time after he's eaten your chicken soup," Aoi smiled, comforting the younger raven as said latter shifted and reversed their positions, relaxing against Aoi's slim but firm build.

He knew that Kai's only way to relief his stress was by cooking, and he was also worried about the quantity and quality of the food that Uruha gave the vocalist. Not that he didn't trust his best friend to take care of people, but knowing Uruha…

"Aoi…?" Kai suddenly asked in a weak murmur, sounding clipped as if he was about to cry, "Everything's going to be okay, right? The band's not going to fall apart, is it?" he asked, feeling seriously insecure. Aoi sighed inwardly and embraced the drummer tightly, threading his fingers through the dark locks in an attempt to make him feel at least a bit more comfortable, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Of course not," he replied in an equal whisper, murmuring his answer into the younger one's hair. He wanted to be honest with the latter; he really did. But he just couldn't say it.

How was he supposed to explain to Kai, the one being most affected by the impact of the whole thing, his sweet younger lover, that he was actually also worried and scared?

What if things don't turn out to be as _okay_ as he had said?

**---**

Reita grumbled.

He knew that this would lead to trouble. He didn't know what had been in his mind when he had agreed on Uruha's request and would try and make it to come over to his place to help him out with Ruki.

He had thought about lying to Miyavi, but what use could it do? When he was curious, he could go to all lengths to find the answer, _stalking_ included. And the bassist also knew how the guitarist could be when he was furious. And he was sure that Miyavi would be _more_ than furious when he found out that Reita had lied to him, about _Ruki_ and visiting him nonetheless.

He could get killed!

But telling the truth wasn't exactly something, either. He weighed it. The options. He really did. But it just didn't pay off as much as he thought it would be. And Miyavi's shriek proved it.

"You _what_?! _Why_?!" the guitarist demanded jealously, but all Reita did was sigh. He had told his lover about Ruki and his illness and had requested the guitarist to let him go for a few hours, promising that he'll pick Miyavi up at the studio as soon as he was finished, but Miyavi sulked instead.

"And what makes you think that I'll let you leave? You're still sick yourself!"

"But I can manage. Ruki can't, Meevs. He's really sick and Uruha can't get him to eat very much. If he doesn't get better soon, it'll affect the whole band. You've gotta bear with me here," he explained, almost on the verge of begging. Miyavi didn't want to know, though.

"Well it was his own fault! Aoi told me that he had been going out late at night, for two days in a row! He's digging his own grave!! Besides, what's - what's Uruha's…" Miyavi trailed off, looking for the right words, "… _incompetence_ of feeding Ruki, have to do with _you_?" Miyavi insisted, and Reita pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"You know Ruki's clingy to me when he's sick like this… He really needs me right now," Reita answered in a murmur, but Miyavi merely raged out more.

"_So_?! He's not your _anything_!!" the hyper guitarist exclaimed in clamor, placing his hands on his hips in a very demanding manner, "So you're just going to turn your back on me because of him?!" turning on his heels and marching his way out of the kitchen. It was obvious that he was pissed, but the bassist's only option now is to run after him and make him agree. Which is _obviously_ going to be a lot more harder now.

_Damn_, Reita cursed to himself, _wrong answer_.

Luckily for Reita, though, he wasn't the only one half-begging his house mate to bear with him at the moment.

Another Gemini male was sharing the same fate.

"Ruki! _Please_! You _heard_ what the doctor said; you have to eat so you can get on your feet!" Uruha practically half-begged the weak vocalist who was sitting up on his bed, leaning against the headboard, seemingly with almost no will to live -- or at least do something -- at all. The brunette guitarist had been trying to feed him for the past half hour, but like any other sick person, Ruki would obviously protest and sulk.

He couldn't eat by himself, ofcourse; the fever had really gotten to him and had caused a serious headache, making his vision blur. It was almost impossible for him to hold anything without his hands shaking, so the only option left was for the guitarist to feed him.

But that wasn't working so well, either.

Uruha had obviously gotten enough of this; he had better things to do, but it was also impossible for him to just leave his friend like this. He _was_ the band's vocalist after all.

"Ruki…"

"No. I told you; I can't eat anymore! Just give me the Goddamn medicines! I've eaten enough!" he insisted, but both of them were hard-headed, which meant that Uruha wasn't going to give up easily. Uruha had to win. But Ruki wasn't one to back off, either.

"No you _haven't_!! Look, I'm _not_ gonna keep up this argument with you! Either you eat this or I'm not feeding you anything at all!" Uruha finally stated his ultimatum, tired of everything. The doctor had came along an hour ago and had said that it was just a normal fever because he was plainly exhausted and that Ruki should be okay in a few day's time, but it needed effort, a lot of rest, and a lot of food as well.

Which Ruki wasn't exactly complying to, either.

"You wouldn't dare," Ruki grumbled in reply, but Uruha merely gave him a determined look.

"Try me, Ru. I've got better things to do than dealing with you," the guitarist sighed, and seeing the look on Ruki's face didn't seem promising much.

"_Fine_!" Ruki stated heatedly, "Go ahead and _leave_!!" he challenged the older one, and was really taken by surprise when Uruha really did stand up and leave the room. The guitarist was one to keep his words and he wasn't going to take back all the things that he'd said, even though he knew that Ruki's probably feeling rather hurt or at least slightly disappointed right now.

But Uruha wasn't all _that_ heartless. He did leave the room because he was kinda sick of dealing with the vocalist, but he also left because he wanted to call Reita and ask him where the hell he is now. The guitarist knew that Reita was one of the only few people whom Ruki would at least obey to and he really needed his best friend here, _now_. But it turned out that he was lucky.

"I'm by the complex entrance; I'll be there in five," Reita had informed when the tall brunette called him, and now here the two guitarists were by the front door, with Reita crouching down to fumble with his shoes as Uruha merely stood by.

"What took you so long?" he asked as Reita finished and got to his feet.

"As if you don't know," he answered snappishly, "Miyavi's a pain when it comes to stuff that hint to jealousy."

"Ah, point taken," Uruha rolled his eyes, as his friend did the same.

"Whatever. Why did call me here for?" the bassist asked, and Uruha groaned.

"Oh yeah. _That_," he mumbled to himself, before addressing Reita fully, "Well, Ruki won't eat much with me, and all he wants to do is eat the medicines. Which is ofcourse against the doctor's instructions. So I need _you_," Uruha emphasized, poking his friend in the chest with his index finger, "to feed him. He'll go along with you, I'm sure," the brunette said confidently, and Reita stared at him before chuckling.

"You are so predictable, you know that, Uru?" he commented before shaking his head and walking off towards Ruki's room, preparing himself for the possible outbursts that the vocalist might throw at him as Uruha grinned at Reita's back before detouring himself to the kitchen to look through the set of medicines that Ruki was supposed to take today.

He fumbled with them for a few minutes, also reading the instructions a few times before deciding that they were the right ones and placing them on a small plate, bringing it over to Ruki's room along with a glass of water. As he approached the room, he could hear a few laughs adorning the halls, and found that he had taken the right decision in inviting Reita over when he came inside the room.

Ruki's eyes seemed to be a bit brighter as he obediently took in everything that Reita fed him, laughing once in a while at almost every word that Reita said. He had most of his attention focused onto the bassist seated beside his bed, and Uruha remembered the vocalist once saying that he felt as if Reita was everything to him but at the same time just a bypassing person in his life. Uruha had wanted to ask what he had meant to the vocalist at the time, but felt that it might be better for him to ask Aoi about it first before acting.

Aoi was, after all, his counselor. ^^

"Here," he said quietly, placing the pills and tablets onto the bedside table along with the glass, before retreating to a corner in the room, settling himself on the computer chair.

"Ne, Rei?" the guitarist started, and his blonde friend turned to him.

"Un?"

"How did you manage to get out of Miyavi's sight, anyway? I thought that he'd pull a 1001-reasons-act to not let you go?" the brunette guitarist asked as he made himself comfortable, to where the bassist merely shrugged, Ruki looking at the two in turns as he chewed.

"Myah, a few sweet talks here and there. He _did_ pull that act on me actually, and it was rather annoying, but hey, you know what they say; love conquers all. Even annoying tempers and never ending jealousy. Ugh," Reita stated, and he could see Ruki's eyes turning slightly cold, but he didn't pay it much attention. Yeah, saying the wrong words was a habit of Reita's, but hey, what could he do about it?

"Well, you always had a pair of sweet lips, so that's no big surprise," Ruki retorted, and Uruha grinned mischievously.

"How would _you_ know? Did you taste it?" he asked jokingly, only to laugh loudly a few minutes later, running his way out of there when Reita glared poison-lathered daggers at him, Uruha also succeeding into avoiding a flying pillow that Ruki had thrown at him in the process of escaping the area.

The guitarist was still laughing as he stood in the hall when the doorbell suddenly rang. Curious about who it was, Uruha sauntered his way over to the door, traces of his chuckling still resounding. He opened the door and raised his eyebrow at the couple that stood there.

Kai was faintly smiling, standing rather weakly against Aoi's body, holding a rather huge bowl in his arms as his older lover had an arm around his waist, holding him tightly. The drummer seemed as if he really didn't wanna be there but just came for the sake of chivalry by the way he let Aoi support most of his weight. The melody guitarist merely flashed his usual mega-watt smile as he greeted Uruha with a short wave.

"Yo."

"Yo," Uruha replied absent-mindedly, staring at the two standing by the arch of his door, before snapping out of it and letting the two of them in, "Oh, sorry, um, come in…" he mumbled, making way for the two as they kicked off their sandals, "What brings you guys here?" he asked, not really thinking over what he had said, only to realize that his words were amiss when Aoi gave him a cynical look.

"Weren't _you_ the one calling us to spread the word that Ruki's sick?" the Aquarius shot at him, and Uruha ruffled his hair in tad confusion. There was something wrong with his brain, but he didn't know what. _Maybe it's something temporary_, he concluded.

"Uh, yeah, sorry… Um, what's that you got there?" he asked, turning his attention to the bowl in Kai's arms. The drummer merely answered rather uncomfortably, fidgeting in his spot.

"Um… It's chicken soup. It's good against fevers and stuff, according to myths and all," he answered vaguely, "Where's Ruki?"

"In his room with Reita. I couldn't get him to eat, so I asked Rei to do it for me. Ruki seems happier with him," Uruha answered, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder towards the hall, "You should go there. I'm sure Ruki'd love your food."

"Mm, okay," Kai nodded, and turned on his heels to leave for Ruki's room, but not before he gave a mysterious stern look at Aoi's direction, which made the guitarist shiver. And Uruha noticed.

"What's the glare about?" he asked as soon as Kai disappeared inside Ruki's room, stepping closer to his older friend, "I've never seen Kai being _that_ creepy before?"

"Mm, ano, he's kinda psyched about the things that have been going on lately, and uh…" Aoi hesitated, "Eto, he wanted me to kind of, um… Interrogate you," he ended lamely with a sheepish grin whilst Uruha merely gaped at the confession, "Kai's gonna ask questions to Reita later on."

"Huh? Why?"

"Well… He just thinks that you're playing a big role in it and all… I just wanna know what happened last night… I'm not going to ask for more," he shrugged, adding the last part in a murmur, "even though Kai wanted to…"

"Sorry? I didn't catch the last part," Uruha asked, but Aoi merely shook his head.

"Uh, no, no! Nothing!" he denied suspiciously, quickly changing the subject, "But uh, um… So uh, what about last night? What happened after I came home?" he asked, and Uruha sighed as he walked off to the kitchen, flopping down onto a random stool as Aoi copied him, sitting down on a random counter. Uruha ignored that fact though.

"Oh. That. Well…" Uruha frowned, thinking hard. What _did_ happen last night? Not that he forgot, but it was just that he couldn't exactly remember any special things that might've happened.

"Well?"

"Um… nothing, I guess. He just came home and all, you were there… Uh, he did start to act funny when he closed the door after you; his temperature was building up and he seemed paler than before," Uruha informed, still thinking as he gave Aoi the information.

"Well where did he go?" the Aquarius asked, now getting to his feet and looking through the cupboard for a glass of water.

"Uh… He didn't tell me. I could only remember that he said he went off to a karaoke bar, a street concert, a festival, and a sushi house or something. He couldn't remember names. Um, the dispenser's empty; try the fridge," Uruha added when he saw Aoi had retrieved the glass from its hiding place.

"Thanks," Aoi thanked him, taking out a tall water-filled bottle and pouring the cold contents in his glass, "Well, who did he go with? Except Totchi and Hizaki, I mean?"

"I dunno. He didn't tell me anything. He wasn't in a state to answer obscene questions like that; he was already biting my head off when I asked him about dinner!" Uruha answered defensively, but Aoi frowned as he put back the bottle and closed the fridge door, sitting back on the counter he had occupied before.

"Dinner? You asked him about _dinner_? What does _that_ have to do with anything?" he asked, sipping a bit of the liquid.

"No, I just asked him whether he had eaten anything or not, but he refused to give me a straight answer. He then stood up after yelling at me and… faint… ed…" Uruha trailed off, suddenly remembering something, and Aoi could see the thinking face that Uruha had put on.

"What?" he asked suspiciously, and Uruha suddenly came to realize something.

"Well… Uh… There's this… _thing_ I've wanted to ask you about, um…" Uruha fidgeted in his seat, and Aoi merely took another small gulp as he replied.

"Yeah?"

"Um… Before he ran off and fainted, we've had a small argument and it suddenly turned into a topic that involved why I even bothered to take care of him, and he took my answer as a hint of what he meant to me."

"What he meant to you?"

"Yeah. I said that he was the band's main asset, my room mate and one of my best friends. And he just suddenly went cold," Uruha informed, "He also complained about my absence and the non-existence of my rights on telling him what to do, and uh…" the brunette trailed off, hesitating on whether to inform his friend or not.

"'Uh' what?" Aoi insisted, drinking his water again.

"Well… Ruki said that he _loved_ me," Uruha told him, biting his bottom lip, and that was when Aoi choked on his water and sputtered his reply.

"He _what_?!"

**---**

[To Be Continued]

Have you noticed? Every chapter just keeps longer and longer. But I've the feeling that I'm not ending it in a cliffhanger-style too much. Anybody got any ideas?

Anyways, as always, comments are appreciated. ^^


	4. Unforeseen

Note : The third chapter took up 26 pages on Ms Word, using a size 10 Comic Sans. And every chapter keeps getting longer. Wonder how long this one's gonna be… Enjoy! ^^

Font : _Conscience talking_, _thoughts talking_.

**---**

"Well… Ruki said that he _loved_ me," Uruha told him, biting his bottom lip, and that was when Aoi choked on his water and sputtered his reply.

"He _what_?!" Aoi exclaimed out loud, obviously surprised, "How? In what way?"

Sure, the raven would be lying if he said he didn't know that Ruki had feelings for his once-honey-blonde band mate; he just never thought that it was really truly _love_ and that Ruki would actually _confess_ it.

"Well, he said it in a kinda confused way, I guess… I mean, he was kinda angry and half-drunk when he yelled it at me, but that makes me even more unsure because people tend to tell the truth in those states. And I don't really get what he meant by it," Uruha admitted sheepishly, scratching his head as he faced his older friend who was sitting on the counter and swinging his feet. Aoi was thinking a few things over, and opened his mouth a few minutes later.

"Well… He loves you more than he loves a friend or a brother, that's obvious. I think he's really crushing on you. He _did_ turn red after he realized what he said, didn't he?"

"Uh, yeah… But um, so, uh, that means that he _love_ loves me? Like uh, a boyfriend?" Uruha asked again hesitantly for good measure, and gaped when Aoi nodded.

"Seems like it, yeah," the raven stated as-a-matter-of-factly, in a very annoying calm way, and Uruha did more than just plainly _gape_ at him.

"You're kidding me?!" Uruha exclaimed in shock, standing up from his seat and slightly banging his hand against the kitchen table, not really daring to believe his ears. What the hell is he going to do now?

"Calm _down_, Romeo, I don't know for sure, but that's what it looks like," Aoi replied, giving Uruha a weird look, and the brunette calmed down slightly, getting back in his seat.

"Okay, well, uh, what should I do now?" the astonished guitarist asked, and Aoi shrugged.

"The first utmost thing you have to do is prepare yourself a good answer."

"An answer? What for?" Uruha asked, confused, but Aoi merely jumped off the counter he occupied and walked over his friend, poking him on the forehead as soon as he got close.

"Hey!" Uruha protested, rubbing his forehead, "What was that for?"

"D'you really want him to get all emo again when he asks you for an answer to his confession while you give him a reply that doesn't even get close to satisfying?" Aoi asked skeptically, all in one breath, giving Uruha three seconds to think before answering, "Exactly. So, how do you feel about him?" he shot immediately, putting his hands on his hips and giving Uruha a look that bored right into his eyes.

But ofcourse, ten seconds isn't enough for Uruha to digest so many shocking things at once, let alone _three_, and it honestly took awhile before the brunette opened his mouth.

"What?"

If it was an anime, Aoi would've practically fallen over with a huge sweatdrop or a pulsing vein. But it luckily wasn't, so the raven guitarist merely shook his head in aggravation and poked the guitarist once more.

"Baka. How do you feel about Ruki? Do you love him too?" he rephrased his question, and Uruha thought it over.

"Well… I don't know. I've never really given much thought about it. I mean, I do care about him, but… I guess it's just a kind of brotherly love," the brunette concluded to himself, seemingly still hesitating, but Aoi frowned.

"Brotherly love? You mean you only love him as a little _brother_?" he asked for good measure, not believing his ears.

Was Uruha really that dense, even for his own feelings? Aoi couldn't believe it. If it was about the band, Uruha would be the first to think ahead, to give suggestions on how to make things better than they already were; the first one to be experimenting with new stuff. The brunette always knew what he was doing. But now, when being asked about _love_, he didn't know a single thing. Even about his own feelings.

Uruha could be so surprising at times.

Aoi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in tired thought, sitting down beside Uruha on another kitchen stool. He turned and stared at Uruha's confused mahogany-lensed eyes. It clearly showed confusion, curiosity, but he also saw something else that he couldn't read. It seemed as if Uruha was rejecting his own feelings; but he acted normally around Ruki, so how could that be?

Aoi's gaze was boring right into his mind and Uruha honestly felt very uncomfortable. It was as if Aoi could read his thoughts like an open book.

"Uh… Aoi?" he started hesitantly, "Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked, and Aoi quickly turned away even though he was still frowning in thought. There was something that Uruha's hiding, but what was it?

"Aoi?" Uruha tried once gain, and his band mate snapped out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, uh, nothing. Sorry," he apologized quietly, "Well, uh, are you sure about your feelings then?" he asked, getting back to the main conversation, "I mean, Ruki's having a huge crush on you and all you can say is that you love him as a brother. He is gonna be more than heartbroken," Aoi told him, but the latter sighed.

"I told you; I _don't know_. That's why I'm asking you. What do you think? You're a great observer," Uruha asked hopelessly.

"Okay, okay," Aoi agreed exasperatedly, "Uh, you often feel jealous when he's with other people, right? _Guys_ especially?"

"Um, yeah. I guess so."

"Right. Well, um, you're certainly possessive about him, so that's not a question…" Aoi mumbled to himself, continuing, "Uh, have you kiss-" but the raven got cut off as Uruha protested.

"Naa! Chotto matte ne! Who said I was possessive over him?!" the once-honey-blonde demanded, and Aoi gave him a look.

"In a way, and in this case, 'possessive' equals 'jealous'. Okay?" Aoi stated, too lazy to explain anything else since he knew that it'd end up in a long argument. Uruha was about to protest once again when Reita and Kai suddenly entered the vicinity, the drummer holding a single paper in his left hand as Reita had both hands in his pocket.

"_What_ the hell are you two doing here? You guys are supposed to be in Ruki's room with _us,_ remember? Not with _each other_," Kai complained sulkily, crossing his arms. It wasn't really usual for Kai to be complaining about little stuff, especially jealousy, but he just wasn't really in his best moods lately. Kai was pouting cutely with his big eyes set on child-mode, making him look prettier and more adorable than ever. Aoi's heart was pounding in his chest at the cute sight as a lopsided grin tugged on his thin lips.

"Aw, I'm sorry, honey," Aoi cooed, apologizing as he walked over and embraced the drummer from behind, kissing his cheek lovingly before childishly resting his chin on Kai's shoulder. Uruha and Reita merely grinned at the fluffy sight.

"Ugh. That too," Reita commented with a mischievous grin, sitting on the counter that Aoi had previously occupied, "You two just had the _heart_ to leave your pretty boyfriends with me. Don't you know how much they miss you?" he asked in a mocking, sarcastic tone, receiving a glare from Kai and Uruha while Aoi merely laughed.

"If only you didn't mean so _much_ to the band, Rei," Kai half-threatened, before detangling Aoi's arms from around his waist, walking towards the kitchen table where Uruha was sitting by. The other two joined in as Kai unfolded the white paper and spread it wide on the table.

"Since Ruki's sick, I'll have to re-arrange our schedule. He's supposed to be attending a few interviews, but I don't…" Kai trailed off, searching the columns with his index finger, "Ah, yeah. There we go," he stated, tapping on the paper, "He's got one today, an interview about the Distress and Coma single, plus the DIM album, _and_ the upcoming DIMSOENE tour in the ! Building. I can't be there since I have to arrange the re-scheduling of the tour with Producer-sama and Manager-sama. Which of you three is gonna do it today, and who is going to fill in for the rest of Ruki's interviews?" he asked, looking around, and Reita spoke up.

"Ah, I think I'll go with Aoi today since Uruha-kun has to take care of Ruki and all. I think I can manage to fill in for him too…" he suggested, but Aoi suddenly disagreed.

"Uh no, I think _you_ should stay here with Ruki. He won't eat and obey to Uruha anyway, and I don't really trust him on taking care of people," Aoi explained, and Uruha shot him a glare.

"Hey! I resent that!! It's not as if I'm neglecting him!!"

"But he still won't oblige to you anyway, so _deal_ with it," Aoi shot back at him, "Just tell Reita about Ru-chan's medicines, plus the things that he can and cannot eat, etc, and then _you_ will be taking Ruki's place for interviews instead of Rei," Aoi explained, and after a few minutes of thinking, Kai nodded.

"Whatever. I'm fine with it. It sounds good enough. But you better _not_ be doing anything weird with Uruha-san, Aoi," Kai threatened cutely, poking at his lover's chest with his bottom lip sticking out, making his boyfriend want to claim those petals for himself.

"Don't worry, babe, what could we possibly do anyway?" he asked with a shrug, but Kai blinked at the statement and intensified his threat.

"A _lot_ of things," he stated as-a-matter-of-factly, "If you get home past eleven you're _not_ sleeping with me tonight," he said threateningly, crossing his arms and turning away. Aoi rolled his eyes, feeling slightly agitated, and pulled the drummer's back close to his broad chest in a way of comforting him. His over-protective jealousy was really starting to get on Aoi's nerves.

"Alright already! I only love _you_, okay?" Aoi stated, feeling kinda tired with Kai's mood-swings himself. But knowing that it was temporary, he decided to live with it. Kai blushed at the statement, though.

Both Gemini males standing by merely laughed, the tallest of the two standing up and walking over towards a cupboard. As the laughter died away, Uruha handed over three, blue-colored, small plastic medicine bags to Reita.

"What's this?"

"They're Ruki's medications. I'll be back today anyway, so I'll need you to give him one of these right after I'm gone," Uruha explained, placing a finger on a bag that had yellow pills in them, "And two of the white ones here," he pointed on a bag with white tablets, "And these are vitamins, and he'll have to eat it after having meals," he pointed to a bag filled with orange capsules, eyes fixed onto Reita, "Following me so far?"

Reita frowned for a bit, gazing at the plastic bags on his palm, but then nodded, "Ah, yeah. Yeah, I get you. Two of those… and those are vitamins… Yeah, I get it," he answered, and before Uruha could reply anything, Kai had already cut in.

"Good. That's settled then," he said, turning Aoi around by his shoulders before pushing him out of the kitchen and into the livingroom, "Now go! The interview starts at two and it's already one-thirty!!" he ushered them, only giving time for the two to put on their shoes before the raven drummer dragged his two team mates out of the door, leaving Reita alone by the doorway.

The bassist merely waved at them before closing the door and sighing, shaking his head. He then made his way over to Ruki's room, the medicines still in his hand.

Entering the room, he was met by Ruki's innocent, curious gaze, which clearly asked him what had happened.

"Hey. I heard a few noises and the door closing; did Aoi and Kai leave already?" he asked, and Reita smiled in response.

"Yeah, Aoi went off with Uruha-kun to do your DIM interview and Kai had to re-arrange our schedule with Producer-sama and Manager-san," he informed and frowned at the look Ruki wore. Honestly, Ruki had never thought that Uruha would actually leave him.

Sure, he was under the bassist's care and all, and he felt better than ever since it was Reita who was feeding him and stuff, but he just can't help but to feel a bit of empty inside. Uruha could've at least said goodbye or something, couldn't he?

"Uruha… left too? Wha - When did they leave? Just now?" the vocalist asked to the bassist beside him, his hand raised at the ready for his pills, the latter being busy looking through the set of medicines Uruha had just given him. It took a few seconds for him to register Ruki's question.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, they did. They were in quite a hurry," Reita replied absent-mindedly, ripping a white tablet out of its aluminum wrapper, placing said medicine on the vocalist's open palm.

"Oh. In a hurry, huh?" Ruki replied in an occupied, sad tone, "Couldn't he at least have said goodbye?" he commented, and seeing as that white tablet was the last piece of medicine of two tablets and a pill, Reita turned to face the shorter one worriedly and sat beside him on the side of the bed.

"Don't fret about it. They were almost late," Reita tried to reason, "_I _should actually be the one going, but Aoi specifically wanted Uruha to accompany him on the interview. Aoi wanted _me_ to take care of you here."

"Why you?" Ruki asked innocently, gulping down the medication in his hand with a glass of water.

"Because you don't talk back to me," Reita answered bluntly, "You wouldn't eat with Uruha, but you would with me. You seem moody with Uruha, but cheerful with _me_. And that's why Aoi told me to look after you, because you oblige to me like a cute little puppy," Reita sniggered, patting Ruki's head, to which the little brunette laughed, shoving his hand off of his head.

"Hey! Knock that off!!" he laughed, and the two of them giggled for a while before Ruki returned back in his shell of thoughts, not really paying attention to the blonde bassist closely observing him.

It was weird how he felt without his guardian angel by him. Ruki couldn't lie; he was actually rather pissed that Uruha left him, but he couldn't be childish. The vocalist knew the reason behind it and he knew it was logical, so what else is there to complain about? That he felt lonely? Wasn't _that_ a great excuse. But Reita's right. Maybe it was also because of his behavior that Uruha left with Aoi. Maybe the brunette was sick of his antics, who knows?

"Hey, you okay? You seem pretty occupied?" Reita asked in concern, pressing the back of his hand to Ruki's forehead, "Your temperature isn't increasing, is it?"

"No, I'm fine," Ruki mumbled, slightly pushing his hand away with the back of his hand, "It's just that… um…" Ruki trailed off for a while before making up his mind, "Uh… I was just thinking of Miyavi," he decided, smiling faintly as Reita threw him a suspicious look, "How is he?"

Ruki knew it was worst than the lamest excuse in the world; why the hell should he care about the guy who had taken Reita from him? Reita seemed to sense it too and gave him a weird look.

"Meevs? Well, uh, he's doing okay. A bit pouty though, since I kinda forced my way here to you and Uru, but I guess he'll get over it," Reita replied, not noticing the wavering look in Ruki's eyes, "Why do you ask?" he asked, and Ruki seemed to sputter for an answer.

"Huh? Oh uh, no, nothing, just curious why he'd let you go off, that's all," he answered vaguely, and Reita sighed as he started to catch up on what was going through Ruki's occupied mind.

"Ru?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't want me here, do you?" Reita shot, and Ruki's eyes widened at the question.

"What? No, no, no! Ofcourse I do!! You've been gone for quite awhile, how can I _not_ want you here? I missed you," the little brunette vocalist admitted, though a bit in a hurry, and Reita could see the slight hesitation in the admittance, but he shrugged it off and smiled.

"Yeah. I guess I missed you too. A lot," Reita smiled, and the two's conversation did get a bit better as the hours flew by, even though the aura was still rather quiet around them. Reita managed to get Ruki to laugh easily; it was if nothing had ever happened between them. Hours passed until night finally came. It was now already nine and Uruha still wasn't home. Ruki now seemed to seriously fidget and Reita noticed, though he couldn't really do much about it. He could only stand by and watch.

"Hey. I'm sure he's okay," he spoke up as he stood by the doorway, staring at the worried vocalist lying on his bed.

"Huh? What're you talking about?" Ruki asked dumbly, but Reita chuckled, approaching the smaller one.

"Uruha. You're thinking about him, aren't you? Why he isn't home yet?" Reita guessed accurately, and Ruki blushed a few shades of red.

"I, uh…" he hesitated, smiling nervously, "Yeah, kinda, but… I have you here, don't I? So why should I worry about him? It's not as if he's thinking about me anyway," Ruki reasoned, actually more to himself than Reita. The bassist merely smiled knowingly and ruffled the short one's hair.

"Hey, it's okay to think about the ones you care about. Even if that person doesn't think or care about you. It means that you're still _human_," he joked, ruffling the shorter one's hair. Ruki gave a small chuckle, but their happy moment suddenly got interrupted when Reita's keitai rang out loud. Initiatively, Ruki took it from his side table and checked the caller ID.

"It's Miyavi. You wanna answer it?" he asked, handing it over, but the bassist shook his head.

"Nah, you do it. I wanna see how he reacts," he replied with a grin, and Ruki shook his head before flipping the phone open, "Moshi-moshi? Miyavi-kun?" he greeted, and the voice on the other end sounded rather hesitant.

"Uh, Ruki?"

"Yeah, it's me. How are you?" Ruki replied into the receiver, glancing at a giggling Reita.

"Uh, I'm doing just fine. Um, how are you yourself? Is your fever getting better?"

"Yeah, much thanks to Reita."

"Ah, I see. Ano, is he there? I kinda have to talk to him?" Miyavi requested, and Ruki gave a small smile. Reita's gonna get an earful, he could guarantee that.

"Yeah, sure. Hold on," he replied, and handed the phone over to Reita, who took it with a frown.

"Uh, yeah?" he said into the receiver, and in an instant, Miyavi's voice could be slightly heard by the way he was yelling on the phone. Ruki stifled his laughs by muffling them with his hand; Reita gave him a small apologetic glance before stepping out from the room.

It didn't take long, though, but Reita's last words to Miyavi were; "Alright already! I'll be home in an hour!!" before he walked inside the room again, grumbling beneath his breath. Ruki finally let out all of his pent up laughter at the funny sight as Reita's face turned sour.

"Go ahead and laugh, Ru, go ahead and laugh," Reita commented sarcastically, a smile still adorning Ruki's cute face.

"Sorry. It's just that it's kinda funny…" he apologized, "You should've come home earlier at seven, I already told you, didn't I? He's gonna be pissed about you missing dinner. It's already nine now."

"Well, yeah, but I couldn't leave you here alone. Uruha's not even home yet. What if you faint in the middle of the room and nobody knows? Or what if a robber breaks in or something?" Reita wondered, and Ruki gave him a silly look, slightly giggling.

"Oh come on, Reita, since when has there ever been a burglar around here? It's already nine anyways; I'll probably go to sleep as soon as you leave," Ruki replied sweetly, and Reita's eyes softened at the sight. He sighed and sat down by Ruki's side.

"But I don't wanna leave you here. What if something bad really happens and I'm not there to protect you?" he reasoned, worry flooding his eyes. He was really serious now and Ruki could tell. He gave a small smile and took Reita's hand reassuringly.

"If you're here to protect me, then what about Miyavi? He needs you too, doesn't he?"

"But Meevs isn't sick -"

"He's your boyfriend, Rei. I already have Uruha to protect me; I'll be okay."

"But Uruha's not here right now!!" Reita insisted. He wanted to stay and look after the chibi vocalist but why was Ruki telling him to go? Did he really not need him anymore?

Ruki, on the other hand, merely sighed at the rather childish act Reita was putting up and leaned in, wrapping his arms around Reita's neck. The bassist was kinda shocked by the sudden embrace but returned it nonetheless.

"I'll be okay," Ruki assured him, breaking the hug as he looked into Reita's eyes cutely, "I promise."

The blonde finally gave up and decided that this sick brunette infront of him isn't going to change his decision. Reita had to go home and take care of Miyavi, and that was final. He sighed.

"Okay then. I'll be going now, okay?"

"Yeah, you do that," Ruki smiled, but it suddenly disappeared and turned into shock as Reita had leaned in and crushed their lips together lovingly.

_What the - ?!_

Ruki could feel Reita's hand at the back of his head, his fingers tangled in his hair as he deepened their kiss. Ruki didn't know why, but his lips had instinctively parted for the bassist and it didn't take long for their tongues to play with each other; and somehow, Ruki responded into it, though still hesitantly.

Reita pulled Ruki's fragile frame close and the vocalist instinctively wrapped his arms around the bassist's neck, both only breaking apart for small intakes of breath. It _seemed_ right and it definitely _felt_ right, but at the same time, more than a thousand questions ran through his head, and they were confusing him to no end.

Why was Reita doing this? Why was he _letting_ Reita do this? Why did he feel as if he'd found something that he'd lost? Why did he feel so loved? Why was it so comfortable in Reita's arms? Why did he feel so comfortable kissing someone…

_That had already belonged to someone else!! What about Miyavi? What about _Uruha_?! _You _were the one complaining about Uruha's behavior; but what you're doing is something much more _worse_, Takanori!! _his mind protested, and Ruki's eyes widened as reality hit him.

_This isn't right._

Ruki immediately turned away, thus breaking the kiss, slightly pushing Reita off of him with the small amount of strength left in his sick, still weak body. He refused to meet the older male's eyes, worrying his slightly red and swollen bottom lip with his teeth, seemingly guilty, regretting what had just happened.

Reita immediately caught on as soon as he saw the look on Ruki's face and it seemed as if he had just realized what he had done, even though he didn't seem to regret it that much, but he saw the uncomfortable look that Ruki put up as the vocalist shyly turned at him. Feeling slightly guilty, Reita reached out to touch the younger one's cheek, but the latter shied away.

"You should go," was the only sentence being voiced through the thick, uncomfortable silence, before Reita stood up and left without another word. The sound of the door slamming shut could be heard a few minutes afterwards, leaving Ruki in total silence.

It wasn't as if Ruki's shooing him away, it was merely something that had to be said in order for the story to continue, for Reita to go, for Ruki to think stuff out; but somehow, even though he had told him to, Ruki actually _didn't_ want him to leave.

There was something, a very significant thing that Ruki felt in that passionate kiss, but he couldn't really place his finger on it. What was that feeling? It was something that he knew all too well, something that he had craved from a certain someone, something that he had lost but regained in a short time, something that he was now in too deep…

Was it…

Love?

**---**

Uruha groaned as he glanced at the digital clock planted in the dashboard, the numbers stating 21:28 in the slight dark.

It was almost nine-thirty p.m. and his thoughts were already wandering to Ruki alone at home. Reita must've gone home by now and the vocalist would already be sleeping, but he just couldn't help but feel worried. He had felt seriously uncomfortable since a half an hour or so ago and he could only hope that nothing has happened.

"Relax, Uru. I'm sure he's fine. I mean, what could _those_ two possibly do?" Aoi asked from beside him in the passenger's seat, before rethinking his question, "Oh shit that sounded bad," he mumbled as he realized how suggestive his question really was, rephrasing, "Well, Reita's probably home from nine and you're uncomfortable because Ruki's alone. Why didn't you try to call him?"

"My phone's dead and you've not brought yours, remember, smart ass?" Uruha snapped agitatedly, and Aoi frowned.

"Gee, no need to bite my head off, fox-face, it ain't my fault."

"Yeah, it's _your boyfriend's_ fault. We had to attend six interviews in a row and he mentioned it as _one_ interview? Can't he read or can't he count?"

"Stop blaming him, okay? He's as freaked out about all of this as you are, maybe even more so since he has to do _more_ than plainly deal with a childish and emo vocalist, alright?" Aoi snapped, standing up for Kai devotedly.

Uruha sighed heavily as he tried to calm himself down and also concentrate on the road at the same time. The two guitarists were now in Uruha's car and on the way to Aoi's place; Uruha had been kind-hearted enough to give him a ride. It only took a few minutes for them to reach the place though.

"Just take it easy and try not to run anyone down on the street. Ki o tsukete, ne?" Aoi warned him as he had gotten out of the car, now standing by Uruha's car window, his anger still slightly visible though he forced himself to be patient. All of the band members had their own problems and he had to respect Uruha's outbursts.

"Yeah, I'll be careful. By the way, Aoi, sorry about earlier, I…"

"Daijoubu. Your mind's fucked. We're _all_ fucked. Just don't try to think much about it," Aoi advised with a smile before he finally turned around and opened the gate of his house. Uruha stayed until he had made sure his friend had gotten inside safely and then he raced his way out of there. The streets seemed to disappear and all he could see was the road in front of him.

He was thinking about Ruki too much.

He stopped by a red light that he had just nearly missed and finally took the initiative to look around him and take in his situation. It was at night, the streets wasn't that crowded anymore, and he had almost reached home. He looked past the light and crossroads and saw that he was only a few blocks away from the building he works in. Noticing that fact, a thought jumped into his mind as he searched the streets for…

Yup, there it was, the 24/7 café-bookstore where most of his label-mates and other musician friends gather; Rakuen no Ran (Heaven's Orchid). Uruha remembered that Ruki loved the hot chocolate there, so, as an afterthought, he decided that he should drop by and buy it for him.

As the light turned green, Uruha drove his car over and parked it right in front of the café. He killed the engine and locked the car, walking over towards the entrance afterwards when a familiar-looking blonde girl spontaneously opened the door and bumped into him. Uruha only took a few steps back, but the girl fell on her butt.

"Owie," the girl mumbled wincing as she tried to stand up. Uruha was about to hold out a hand when a certain purple-streaked brunette in a maid uniform ran over, helping her up.

"Dei-dei! Be careful next time!" the brunette warned as Dei-dei dusted off her jeans. Uruha felt as if he knew the lanky brunette and after a glance at her face he noticed that it was Mae. He observed the other girl too and registered in his mind that she was the one who had told him about Reita and Miyavi.

The two waitresses turned to him afterwards and noticed who he was as the two instinctively bowed, greeting him with an "Irrashaimase" even though the blonde wasn't in her uniform.

"Konbanwa, Uruha-kun," Mae smiled, "Please come in, I'll be with you in a minute."

"Un, konbanwa," Deidara greeted as well with a sheepish smile, "Sorry about that," she apologized innocently and Uruha waved it off.

"It's okay. Um, why aren't you…?" he asked, trailing off and slightly glancing her jeans and jacket, not sure whether to ask or not, but he was still curious about it.

"In my uniform? Yeah, my shift's over. Mae's having overtime," Deidara explained, and with a last cute smile, the 23-year old ran past Uruha and disappeared around the corner. The tall guitarist stared after her for awhile, before a cheerful voice broke his thoughts.

"Well, um, come in?" Mae offered shyly to Uruha and he nodded, following her through the café and over to the cashier. It was at night so there weren't many customers. He scanned the menu board quickly as Mae got behind the counter and made his order.; two cups of hot chocolate along with three pieces of sausage-filled sandwiches. He remembered that Ruki loved sausages and decided that it'd do just fine for breakfast.

"You drink chocolate? Two at once? Amazing," Mae acknowledged teasingly with a grin as she counted down the items, "That's two-thousand yen."

"Ah, right," Uruha mumbled as he paid, "Well, I was just curious. Besides, the other's for Ruki; anohito wa byouki ni naru."

"Honto ni?" the girl frowned, "Kaze o hiku ka?" she asked, and smiled knowingly as Uruha nodded.

"Aa, sou desu ka. Odaiji ni ne?" she smiled, wishing the vocalist health as she handed Uruha his orders and change when the sound of a table being slammed echoed through the half-empty café. Both brunettes turned to the source of the noise and blinked at the sight.

"FINE!! If you wanna abandon us like Bou did, then go _ahead_!! We can find a new leader!! " a guy with dirty-blonde hair yelled as he was on his feet.

"Don't you _dare_ blame me for everything, Miku!!" a heavy voice resented in a yell as well, but the voice turned out to be owned by a blonde-haired crossdresser as the guy wore a skirt and was dressed like an Agejo.

"Guys! Don't make a fuss about this! If Kanon wants to leave, then we can't stop him, can we?" Another voice piped up quite loudly, and a red-head stood up. The blonde guy, Miku, seemed to be mumbling something under his breath before storming out of the place. The redhead soon followed, leaving the blonde crossdresser, who was apparently Bou, with the raven that they had called Kanon.

And somehow, the two of them seemed more familiar to Uruha than anything else. Especially that long haired raven…

"Um, Mae, that was _not_ AnCafe that I've just seen now, was it?" he asked to the 23-year old girl, not taking his eyes off that table and she merely shrugged, leaning on the counter.

"Actually, it _is._ They've been arguing for about an hour before _that _happened," she explained, "From what Dei told me, they were protesting the fact that Kanon's going to quit and join Bou. Miku's more than outraged, since he's also the band's leader and all…"

"Dei? The blonde that I just crashed into?"

"Yeah, that was her, Deidara. She's great at picking up information like that; dunno where she gets them. The AnCafe guys were kinda disturbing, really," she sighed, "They would yell at each other loudly every once in a while, and it had almost broke into a fight a few minutes ago."

"A fight? The members of AnCafe _fight_? With _each other_?"

"Yeah. Hard to believe from their cute sweet faces, huh? I'm actually a bit glad that Miku stormed out; his voice is the loudest _ever_. Thank god there weren't many customers here, but it was still rather annoying," the Libra girl slightly complained, Uruha nodding as he took in all of this new interesting information.

Still observing the two at the table near the glass sliding doors, the Gazette guitarist noticed that Bou seemed to be comforting Kanon slightly, before hugging him tightly and getting up on his feet, leaving the bassist alone by the table as the blonde crossdresser walked out.

Kanon slightly looked up, apparently looking around for Mae. The girl noticed and quickly walked out from behind the counter, but that was also when the bassist locked eyes with Uruha.

And then, it suddenly became clear to the brunette guitarist why Kanon's name, frame and face seemed more than just plain familiar. And apparently, it turned out that Kanon was thinking the same thing as he stood up from his seat and walked over hesitantly, a smile spreading across both their faces.

"Sano-san, konbanwa," Uruha greeted with a slight nod and a recognizable grin on his face, and Kanon suddenly didn't look so hesitant anymore by the sound of his name being voiced by the guitarist.

"Takashima-san!!"

**--- **

The room was dark and the only light came from the slightly parted curtains that allowed the street lights to lit up the room. Inside the darkness, Ruki's eyes fluttered open, revealing his dark brown orbs. He sat up confusedly, trying to take in his surroundings in the dark. His hand rested on his heart as he tried to figure out why he had woken up; he had felt so uneasy, but…

What was this feeling he was having?

Glancing at the clock, he realized that it was already ten-thirty, but why did the house seem so quiet? Was Uruha already asleep? Or hasn't he even come home yet?

Feeling slightly worried, Ruki turned to his bedside table and moved to turn on the lamp on it. But as he switched it on, his other hand accidentally knocked over the glass of water, causing the clear liquid to spread all over the floor and partly on the table, the glass shattering; half on the table and the rest on the carpeted floor.

"Ow!!"

Shocked, Ruki's hand accidentally dropped to the wooden furniture and the shards made contact with his palm. He yelped in surprise and immediately examined his hand in the dim lit room. It seemed like a deep cut and he wondered how such small shards could make such a big wound…

"Shit."

Sighing, he got out of bed, careful not to step on the shards spread across the floor near his bed, ofcourse, and headed for the bathroom in the hall, ignoring the slight dizziness. He succeeded into opening the door and switching on the lights with only one hand, rummaging in the cupboard for a first-aid kit afterwards. As he found it, he took it out and placed it on the floor. He then stood up and held his hand beneath the streaming water in the sink, wincing as it made contact with his scarred skin. It seemed rather scary as he saw his palm turn extremely pale beneath the running water.

After seeing that the water had washed off all of the crimson blood, he turned the faucet off and settled himself on the cold tiled floor beside the first-aid kit, taking out a bottle of iodine and placed a piece of cotton on the rim, before tipping the bottle slightly over with one hand so that the liquid poured itself onto the cotton, slightly soaking the parts that it touched.

Ruki placed the bottle back on the floor and took the cotton off, dabbing the half-soaked object onto his wounded hand. He whimpered slightly as it kind of stung, but managed to deal with it after a few seconds. After cleaning out the wound smoothly, he placed the cotton beside him and took out a roll of gauze. He wound it around his hand and after making sure that the blood wouldn't soak through the piece of thin white cloth, he cut off the excess gauze still clinging onto it and fastened the gauze on his hand together with a piece of band aid.

He shook his injured left hand a bit and made sure it was okay. Smiling slightly, he then cleaned up his mess, placing the kit back to its respected place and put the cottons in the bin before walking out of the bathroom, not even bothering to turn off the lights as the thought of checking Uruha's room came to mind; maybe the once-honey-blonde was already home?

He walked over to Uruha's bedroom door with small steps, and slightly opened the door to peek in; but all he saw was darkness. There didn't seem to be any signs of life in there, either. Frowning, the brunette moved to open the door wider and stepped inside hesitantly. He approached the bed and found his assumptions to be correct; his bed was still made up and empty.

Uruha didn't come home.

**---**

"Ow," Uruha yelped quietly as he brought his left hand close to his face and examined it. He had just unconsciously dragged his palm over a piece of sharp metal sticking out of the park lamp's pole, and the cut was now bleeding, even though the wound wasn't that deep.

"Ouch, that's gotta hurt," Kanon commented as he stood beside the guitarist, examining the hand also. Uruha merely shrugged it off.

"It's just a cut."

"But it's bleeding! Here, hold on," the raven mumbled, taking out his wallet and extracting three pieces of band aid. He handed it over to Uruha as he stuffed his wallet back into his back pocket, taking a tissue from the same place. He gently dabbed it on the cut, cleaning it from the crimson blood before taking the band aid from Uruha one by one and placing all three of them horizontally on his palm, covering the wound perfectly.

"There, done," Kanon said, slightly proud of himself as he smiled up at Uruha, biting his lower lip cutely as their eyes met.

"Arigato, ne?" the guitarist thanked him, before the two of them continued their night stroll once again.

The air was chilly and the park was already dark as it was only lit by the street lamps decorating the streets; but it seemed more alive than ever as two tall guitarists walked through the steps of the park; they've been walking in circles for the past few minutes, but they didn't really seem to mind as they laughed and talked the night away. They've decided to sit on a wooden bench afterwards, and that was where they continued their conversation.

"It's really been a while, hasn't it?" Kanon mumbled as he leaned back into the bench, his eyes resting on Uruha's tall frame.

"Yeah. I kinda regretted most of it though," Uruha answered into the night, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he gazed at the heavens.

He felt his companion for the night move slightly beside him and a weight being distributed onto his shoulder; Kanon had leaned into him, also stargazing.

"D'you still remember that this is what we did the night before you left? We'd climb up the branches of that huge tree in my back garden and just stare at the sky and I'd do nothing else except counting the stars," Kanon mumbled, bringing back old memories, and Uruha chuckled beside him.

"Yeah, and then I'd break your concentration each time you reach more than hundred and you'd have to start over again every time," he added, and Kanon lightly punched his arm as he chuckled as well.

"That was really evil. Then we both would be laughing after I tried to tackle you in. We nearly fell off the branch at the time," the raven bassist remembered, and he stiffened slightly as he felt that the brunette had put an arm around him.

But instead of protesting, he leaned into Uruha's warmth more and put his arms around the rhythm guitarist's waist, holding him tight. It kind of surprised the latter, but he merely smiled as he then curled his arm tighter around the younger one's shoulders, returning the embrace.

"I don't know how often I've dreamed of this… I really missed you," Kanon whispered into the air, "It was rather hard to find you… You've hardly ever attended any industry parties either, and even if you did… I never dared to walk up to you; I was just scared that you've forgotten me," he admitted, and Uruha hugged him tighter.

"I tried to, but I never could," the guitarist confessed, "I've missed you too and I've actually found quite enough information about you, but…" Uruha hesitated, and Kanon looked up as he felt the embrace around his shoulders slacken.

"But what?" he demanded gently, "If you could've -- I mean… Why didn't you just -- Were you afraid that I've forgotten you, too?" the bassist asked, but the brunette shook his head.

"No, I… I just thought you were with someone else, and I didn't wanna ruin stuff for you, so…" Uruha trailed off, unsure of what else to say next. Kanon sat up beside him, breaking every skin contact and looked at him in disbelief.

"Someone else? Wha -- I mean, who?" he asked incredulously, "I'm not _that_ close to Teruki and everyone in the world would know that Miku's not my type at all!"

"Yeah, exactly," Uruha agreed, "I thought you were with Bou, so…" he trailed off once again, now feeling slightly guilty. But instead of getting mad or anything else, Kanon merely laughed beside him and Uruha frowned, "What?"

"How could you've ever thought _that_? Bou's like a little brother to me!! Besides, this might sound a bit weird, but Bou's _straight_, Uru-kun. He might be a crossdresser and all, but he's got a girlfriend and the girl's not a les," Kanon explained, and Uruha seemed a tad surprised.

"You're serious?" he asked for good measure, and the raven shook his head.

"Quite. I didn't date anyone since I graduated," he admitted.

"Really? I haven't either. It just never came to mind, I guess," Uruha shrugged, ready to get back to stargazing again, but refrained from doing so as he caught Kanon's eye, "What?"

"You mean… You're _not_ with Aoi-san?" the raven asked hesitantly, and it took a while for Uruha to digest his words, but as soon as he did, he could only laugh at the actually quite possible accusation.

"Ofcourse not!! I can't really imagine myself dating him --" Uruha paused, "No, wait, scratch that, I actually _could_," he corrected as Kanon laughed, continuing, "but he's already with Kai and I've never thought of dating and stuff like that either," Uruha explained, and Kanon nodded in understanding.

The two then settled for stargazing once again, Kanon leaning on Uruha as the two gained their earlier position and they stayed in a comfortable silence for awhile, indulging in each other's presence. The memories slowly started to play in their thoughts once again, bits and pieces of almost forgotten past coming back.

The silence was, though, broken by a loud cough from Kanon, and the bassist immediately detangled himself from Uruha, hands moving up to cover his mouth as he continued to cough.

"Daijoubu ka?" Uruha asked as he held his shaking shoulders, stroking his side soothingly until his violent coughing stopped. The sudden action rather surprised the guitarist and it had made him quite worried. Kanon merely nodded, removing his hands.

"Yeah… Yea, I'm -- I'm okay. I think the cold air's just getting to me," he mumbled, seemingly hiding something, but Uruha didn't give it much thought as he got up on his feet, hauling the younger raven up as well.

"You should go home then… I'll drive you," Uruha offered, but Kanon merely shook his head.

"You don't have to… My house is only one block away, and it's already too late as it is. If Ruki's really sick like you've told me… You should go home and check on him, shouldn't you?" he advised, but he could see the hesitation in Uruha's mahogany-lensed eyes.

"Well should I walk you, or -" but he got cut off as the shorter one smiled and got out of his arms.

"Urucchi, I'll be just fine," he said reassuringly, and after giving it a thought Uruha nodded in defeat.

"But let me at least have your address?" he bargained with a sly smile, and Kanon smiled in happy disbelief.

"You're unbelievable, you know that?" he chuckled as he took out his keitai. He seemed to be typing something on it, before he handed over the phone to Uruha, "Here, type your number in," he told him.

Uruha did so, and handed the phone back to the raven bassist. They stayed in silence for a few minutes, Kanon seemingly waiting for something. Uruha frowned, and was about to speak up when the younger one beat him to it.

"Did you bring your keitai?" he asked, and Uruha blinked in confusion.

"Uh, I did, but the battery's dead. Why?" he answered innocently, and Kanon laughed.

"Ah I see. No wonder," he chuckled, "Well, as soon you're home, get it charged. When you see a message with an unknown number, it's from me, and it's got my house and mail address. Call me sometime, ne?" he smiled to a slightly impressed Uruha, leaning up to kiss the taller brunette lightly on his cheek before walking off, leaving the guitarist to stare at him for awhile, before he finally snapped out of it and walked over to his car.

Uruha had spent the whole ride home with his head in the clouds as he thought about what had just happened and about what had happened ten years ago, too. His mind was occupied with those thoughts only, even when he had gotten inside of his house and had deposited his purchases safely in the microwave; but his concentration broke as soon as he entered his room and switched on the light.

There, curled beneath the grey-lined purple blankets on his bed, a certain chibi vocalist lay sleeping calmly, his breathing steady and even. He looked so peaceful and comfortable there. Uruha frowned at the cute but odd sight; what was Ruki doing here?

Approaching him silently, he examined the latter's face and decided that he'd never had the heart to wake him up. Deciding that it's for the best, Uruha merely let him be and walked off to change and do his nightly rituals before climbing onto his bed beside the vocalist, Ruki's back facing him.

But no sooner had he settled himself beneath the blankets, and closed his eyes to sleep, Ruki stirred beside him and turned around, throwing an arm around his waist as the small brunette pulled himself close to Uruha's warmth.

Not knowing whether it was pure instinct or something else, the guitarist frowned and leaned in closer to check whether or not Ruki was faking his slumber. But by his steady breathing, closed eyes and still body movement, Uruha could immediately read that the vocalist wasn't faking anything at all. Hesitating for awhile, Uruha laid there weighing his options before he also curled an arm around Ruki's shoulder, simply deciding that it wouldn't do any harm.

Morning came and Ruki stirred as he felt the sunlight lit up his room. He opened his eyes slowly and sat up as he raised his arms and stretched his body lazily, yawning broadly. His head still felt rather heavy and dizzy, but he felt really better on the overall; which was rather amazing since he'd only been sick for two days.

The vocalist now had his eyes open wide and took in his now suddenly suspicious surrounding. His still sleepy mind shouted at him to look better and Ruki suddenly realized that he wasn't even in his own room. His other senses then started to work along as well and he started to notice other things.

The room temperature was warmer, the air smelt like lavender, the bed was slightly bigger, the sheets were purple, the walls were grey, and --

The spot beside him was empty.

_What the…? _Ruki thought in confusion as he inspected the room once again. He was definitely in Uruha's room since he had remembered that he went in there last night; but why was the spot beside him empty and _neat_? It didn't even seem as if anyone had slept in it, but…

Didn't his guardian angel come home last night? Didn't Uruha sleep beside him, didn't Ruki hug him in his sleep?

_Was it just a dream, after all? _the vocalist wondered rather sadly, and he was still pondering about it when he suddenly heard a thump from afar, as if something had fallen and hit the ground. A few milliseconds later, he heard someone curse, too.

"God damn it!!"

_Sounds like the kitchen…_ he frowned, but then a realization came to mind as soon as he heard the cursing voice,_ Sounds like Uruha! _ he smiled, and his eyes brightened as he knew that it was possible; it _could_ be Uruha! So he _did_ come home after all!!

Feeling slightly overjoyed, the vocalist threw the blankets off of his small, overgrown-shirt-clad frame and jumped off the bed, immediately running for the bedroom door to check and find out whether it really was the brunette guardian angel he had been looking for.

But his steps slowly came to a stop as he felt extremely dizzy out of the blue; the room was spinning and he felt the nausea come up. He was just so happy that he had forgotten the current state he was in and had put his still rather tired body to work in such a short notice. His body ofcourse protested, and it didn't take long before everything went dark around him.

Ruki fell to the ground as he was just by the doorframe, his body lying halfway in the hall. Uruha, who was indeed in the kitchen, heard the heavy thump and made wide steps towards the livingroom, his eyes focused on the hall. It only took him less than two seconds to react as soon as he saw the half-unconscious Ruki lying halfway in his room and in the hall; he ran over and immediately scooped the younger one up in his arms. The vocalist groaned as Uruha entered his own room and settled Ruki beneath his blankets, checking the small brunette's temperature; it was normal.

"Daijoubu ka? What happened?" he asked worriedly, and Ruki closed his eyes, slightly shaking his head.

"Ugh. No, I'm okay, I think it's because I ran right after I got up… My head didn't have time to adjust itself…" he explained, more to himself than Uruha, but the taller brunette merely nodded as he took his hand back.

"Well… Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, receiving a slight nod before continuing, "Can I leave you here for awhile then?" the guitarist asked out of the blue innocently, and Ruki visibly pouted. _We've just met and now he's going again?!_

"Where're you going?" he flashed his cute neko-eyes, "You just got home! I've waited all night for you and now you're gonna leave me again?" he asked gently, slightly begging for the guitarist to stay, holding the guitarist's hand that had just touched his skin.

"I'm just going to the kitchen, Ru. You have to eat, remember?" Uruha explained, "You're acting as if I'm going to America or something," he frowned, and Ruki was obviously a bit embarrassed by the explanation, but he still stood his ground.

"Aw, can't I eat _later_? I still miss you," he tried once again, and this trick seemed to be working its magic on the taller brunette; Uruha was baffled.

The guitarist merely raised an eyebrow at the cute but odd sight; Ruki would usually be _demanding_ him to stay, not beg him sweetly like this. It seemed rather cute and the brunette decided that he liked it. Flashing his gorgeous smile, he leaned in and kissed the vocalist's forehead gently.

"Five minutes tops. I promise," he assured him before getting up to his feet and exiting the bedroom. Nodding happily, Ruki merely waited rather anxiously, biting his bottom lip, feeling slightly like newlyweds as Uruha took care of him, even though he knew that he probably didn't mean that much to his guardian angel.

Uruha kept his word, though, and came inside the room in less than five minutes, holding in one hand a bowl of soup on a plate with his medicines on the edge of it, a glass of water in the other. Ruki smiled appreciatively as Uruha placed the glass and bowl on the bedside table, capturing a strand of stray hair behind his ear as he eyed each and every movement Uruha made.

"What's that?" he asked gently, and the older male turned to him.

"It's rice, with the chicken soup that Kai gave us yesterday, remember?" he answered, handing the bowl over to the sick latter, "By the way, I went to Ran's last night and bought you some food, so if you wanna eat it then you should eat this and the medicines first," Uruha informed him as he sat down on the edge of the bed by Ruki's lap, and the vocalist's lips turned into a happy smile at the new piece of information.

"Really?" he asked as he spooned up his rice and soup, chewing as a smile appeared on his chibi face, "What did you buy?"

"Something that you'll definitely like," he answered nonchalantly as Ruki scooped up another spoonful of rice, both of them smiling at each other.

They stayed like that for awhile, Uruha watching Ruki thoughtfully as the younger one munched happily away. They were both lost in their own thoughts, but Ruki suddenly frowned out of the blue as a thought came to mind. Uruha noticed the change in his attitude, especially in eating, and spoke up.

"What's wrong? Does it taste weird?" he asked, and Ruki merely shook his head, his eating not really coming to a halt, but it slowed down nonetheless.

"No, it's great… It's just, um… Ano…" Ruki hesitated as he looked around for the right words, "I, uh, wanted to apologize…" he mumbled, and Uruha raised his eyebrows. Ruki's really acting weird today. First the sweet begging, now his sudden apology. Was he up to something or…?

"Apologize? For what?" he asked, and Ruki blushed.

"Um, for how I acted… yesterday," he hesitated, "I was a real pain, and… You even had to call Reita-kun over and all… Sorry," he bit his lip guiltily in a cute way, scooping up the last spoon of rice in his mouth, and Uruha chuckled, ruffling his hair. He really liked this side of Ruki; it showed how emotional, honest, sweet and fragile he actually he was.

"Hey, it's okay; I don't mind," he answered, taking Ruki's bowl from him, handing over the medicine on the side of the plate with one hand. Ruki accepted it in his right palm, gulping down all four tablets along with the glass of water that he had taken from beside him with his left hand. But as he drank the water, Uruha noticed the white gauze wrapped around his palm and immediately took a hold of it as soon as Ruki finished the clear liquid the glass contained.

"What happened to your hand?" he demanded, taking a hold of his wrist and replacing the glass from the nimble fingers. Ruki blushed a slight shade of pink at the question, but then he also noticed the very same thin cloth around his guardian angel's hand and frowned.

"Well, I, uh… the glass shards got me when I knocked it over last night… What happened to yours?" he asked curiously as he noted that Uruha's injured hand also turned out to be his left, just like Ruki.

"Oh that," the older one mumbled as if he had just realized the fact, "I dragged it over a piece of metal in the park last night," he informed the small one, and the latter frowned.

"You went to the park?" he asked, seeming as if slightly disbelieving, and Uruha gave him a suspicious look.

"Yeah, after I went to Ran's, I met an old friend of mine and we took a walk in the park. Why?" he asked, and Ruki pouted slightly.

"So… you _didn't_ come home last night?" he asked, looking like an insecure child. Uruha felt uncomfortable and immediately denied the statement.

"Ofcourse I came home; I couldn't possibly leave you all alone here, could I?" he stated gently, and Ruki bit his bottom lip at the explanation, feeling quite touched by the sincere emotion he felt in those words.

"But the bed was so neat and empty when I came to…"

"Ofcourse it was; I have to wake up early and make you breakfast," he smiled reassuringly, "Speaking of which; do you still want the food I bought you, or…?"

"Ofcourse I do!!" Ruki exclaimed with a huge mega-watt smile, and Uruha chuckled at the cute reaction as he stood up and took the empty glass, plate and bowl from the vocalist's bedside table.

"One surprise breakfast coming up," he joked, making a funny face and Ruki giggled at the odd look and stared after the taller guitarist as the Gemini male made his way out of his room. A few minutes later, Uruha reappeared with a brown paper cup and a plate of sandwiches in both his hands, surprising the little Aquarius.

"You bought me a sandwich from Ran's?" he asked, slightly astonished, and his glance turned to the paper cup, "And what's that?"

"This," Uruha started as he placed the cup on the bedside table, "is _supposed_ to be hot chocolate, but it's kinda full with artificial heat since I've stuffed it in the microwave last night," he grinned sheepishly, putting the plate in Ruki's lap, "And _that_ is a sandwich with sausages in it instead of beef or ham," he explained.

"You bought all of _this_? For _me_?" he asked, really wanting to accept the fact; it meant that Uruha actually _cared_ for him. The tall brunette nodded and sat down beside him.

"Ofcourse I did. Who else would be taking care of you?" he asked, ruffling Ruki's hair and leaning in to kiss his cheek affectionately. But the minute their faces got close enough, Ruki suddenly placed his palms on Uruha's chest and shied away, his body tense and all hint of cheerfulness gone, replaced by slight fear and hesitation.

"Don't," he mumbled quietly, his face seemingly guilty. Uruha sat up, feeling worried and curious at the way Ruki acted. The owner of the infamous golden pants seemed rather uncomfortable and… scared?

"Sorry, I just… um…" Ruki awkwardly tried to apologize, but he just couldn't find the right words. To be honestly frank, the little brunette was still rather traumatized by what had happened last night. Not that he didn't enjoy the kiss, though, he actually _did_ and that was exactly what was making him feeling slightly jumpy and cautious. Uruha leaning in didn't precisely mean that he was going to kiss him just like what Reita did to him last night, but it still slightly scared him, with all of the what-if's always occupying his mind.

"What's wrong?" Uruha asked, snapping him out of his thoughts, and Ruki's eyes searched into Uruha's with a bit of fear.

"I…" he hesitated, looking for the right words, "I don't know, I'm just…" he was totally confused, his lips parting and closing as he tried to talk; but no voice came out.

In the meantime, Uruha was once again, totally baffled towards Ruki's behavior. Why was he acting so weird? He seemed seriously uncomfortable and insecure when Uruha tried to kiss him, he had never protested before, did he? Uruha still pondered about the weird reaction when Aoi's words in his car suddenly came to mind.

"_What could _those_ two possibly do?"_

"Ruki, what -- I mean, _when_ did Reita come home? What time?" he asked, deciding to beat around the bush and test the waters a little. According to his former experiences, Aoi was hardly ever wrong, but be damned if Mr. Right is proved to be accurate once again _this_ time.

"Um," Ruki blinked at the odd question, "I don't know, uh… somewhere around nine-twenty, nine-thirty. Why?" he asked, but Uruha didn't seem to acknowledge the question anymore as his mind focused on remembering at what time his dashboard-clock had stated when he had felt seriously uncomfortable, trying to compare it with Ruki's time allocation…

Damn.

Aoi's right again.

"Uruha…?" Ruki tried to snap him out of his thoughts, but as soon as he did, Uruha turned to him and faced him with a stern look that made the vocalist really dread his future. Nobody wanted to face Uruha's wrath… Not that any member of the GazettE's any better, but still.

"What did you and Reita do last night?" he immediately shot as his mind put the pieces of the puzzle together; there were only two more parts missing and he was going to find them.

"What we -- Um, what're you…?" Ruki blinked, once again caught in another tongue-tangle as he tried to form a decent sentence. He was surprised though; he had never thought that Uruha would piece everything together so fast.

"Ruki, just answer me. What did you guys do?" he asked once again, gentler this time, but he had already found a piece of the puzzle. Ruki was obviously uncomfortable, guilty and confused about what they did, so it was obvious that it was Reita who started everything, not Ruki.

Strike one.

"Nothing, I just… I mean…" he stuttered, seemingly not knowing what to do, "He suddenly just… and I…" Ruki trailed off, not being able to speak. His head lowered as his eyes shifted around nervously, his fingers automatically coming up to touch his lips unconsciously as he remembered what had happened last night, and how good it actually felt.

Seeing that little uncomfortable reaction, Uruha's mind quickly got to work and gaped as he had found the last piece of his puzzle. He couldn't believe it. Reita actually kissed Ruki, Ruki actually allowed it, and Aoi was actually right!!

"He kissed you?" Uruha voiced out, totally out of the blue, and Ruki's glance shot up, looking right into his eyes, and that was when the vocalist knew there was no escaping the truth, or Uruha's wrath. He opened his mouth, trying to find his voice, but seeing as he couldn't, he merely nodded timidly.

He was so dead.

"Your first _real _kiss? _French _kiss?!You're serious?" Uruha asked once again, and Ruki lowered his head once again, avoiding all eye contact. He somehow felt embarrassed and guilty, but he just didn't want to know why!

Only silence filled the thick uncomfortable air, and Ruki hesitantly looked up, glancing at his probably outraged guardian angel. He was right. Uruha seemed to be unable to take stuff in, as if he didn't want to believe it, and Ruki was more than convinced when Uruha sighed and shook his head disbelievingly.

Strike two.

"I can't believe this…" the brunette mumbled, and Ruki felt guiltier than ever at the tall brunette's words. But that was all, once again, merely a miscalculation of Ruki's emotions.

Uruha wasn't angry. He was surprised, yeah, I mean who wouldn't be when his best friend had taken their younger friend's first French kiss, even though that friend knew how fragile this young one was? Even Uruha never dared to give Ruki more than an innocent peck or a barely-there brush of lips!! And that wasn't exactly all, either. Uruha was more psyched about Aoi. The raven was proved to be correct twice in a day already, and that did not exactly include all of those other times when Uruha turned to him for advice…

Damn. Was the guy a psychic or something?

"Please don't be mad at me," Ruki silently begged, bowing his head, and Uruha frowned as he turned to the guilty vocalist. The two were obviously thinking about two different things, so when Ruki spoke up, it took a while for the guitarist to digest his words.

"What're you apologizing to _me_ for?" Uruha asked, pure innocence and curiosity intended. But as always, Uruha sounded unintentionally sarcastic and Ruki really thought that he was doomed, that the Gemini won't forgive him. His cheeks grew a brighter red as he stuttered around for words.

"Well, I… I just didn't know what to do! Everything just happened so fast and I -- I'm sorry, I couldn't…" he trailed off, not knowing what else to say, and he could slowly feel the tears welling up. He didn't know why he felt so sad, but…

Uruha, though, merely frowned at the odd sight and noticed that Ruki was feeling extremely uncomfortable. He was still hesitating about what to do when he suddenly heard the small sob and when he saw the slightly shaking shoulders.

_Ruki's crying?_ the tall brunette blinked in confusion, and his suspicions were confirmed when he heard a sniffle and saw one of Ruki's hand come up to his face. Uruha sighed heavily and pondered on what to do. He was afraid if he'd do something wrong then Ruki'd be more shattered than ever, and that was obviously the last thing on earth he'd want to do to the chibi brunette. He then remembered seeing what Aoi did whenever Kai showed jealousy-symptoms and decided to take his chances with Ruki.

Sighing and hoping to God that this'll calm Ruki down, the guitarist leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the small shaking body, the plate of sandwich being the only thing keeping him from hugging the vocalist closer.

Ruki blinked as he felt the warm embrace, feeling so safe and secure in Uruha's arms as much as he felt so loved every time Reita hugged him. This last thought made him inwardly frown, though, but he decided to shrug it off for the moment and indulge in this new comfortable feeling.

"It's okay; it wasn't your fault," Uruha said softly as he nuzzled lovingly into his hair, "It was mine. I took my time at coming home. I'm the one who should be apologizing," he mumbled, inhaling the soft scent of Ruki's shampoo. The vocalist merely bit his lip as Uruha let go of him, and stared into his eyes hesitatingly.

"So… you're _not_ mad at me?" he sniffled cutely, and Uruha smiled reassuringly, silently thanking God and His angels for making him do the right thing.

"Ofcourse not," he replied with a huge sigh, "Now you go and eat this, okay? I wanna go and clean up your room," Uruha instructed, referring to the sandwich and the paper cup on Ruki's nightstand. Ruki frowned at his last words.

"My room?"

"You pricked your hand on a piece of glass, correct?"

A small nod was given.

"And you've not cleaned it up, no?"

A shy shake of the head was the only reply.

"Good. Then I'll have to clean it up, won't I?" Uruha asked as-a-matter-of-factly to which Ruki nodded cutely. Uruha smiled and added as an afterthought, "I won't go anywhere, I promise."

Uruha then walked out of his room and into Ruki's, spotting the mess of shards in an instant. He grabbed a box of tissues from the Aquarius' computer desk and dabbed a few sheets on the water which were everywhere on the floor and bedside table. He then left it to soak and turned to collect the shards to his hand as his mind wandered. He was still curious as to why Ruki sobbed in his room and why Reita kissed him.

Sure, maybe the brunette felt guilty, but he'd rarely see Ruki cry or even shed a single tear. The only side of the vocalist that Uruha knew was his cheerful, intelligent and childish personality. He'd never seen an emo Ruki who cried just because he was afraid or guilty.

But then the guilt part was also something else. Reita had kissed Ruki, Uruha was sure of it, but why didn't the vocalist just say so out loud, then? Was he embarrassed? No, that wasn't possible since Uruha could clearly defy embarrassment and guilt and he knew for sure that what he saw was a guilty conscience. But then again, Ruki _did_ say that he couldn't do anything about it and when his fingers came up to touch his lips, he seemed so nostalgic about the whole event, but he also seemed to be regretting it.

_Maybe Ruki had _let_ Reita kiss him. He _did_ have some kind of strong affection towards your childhood friend, no__?_ his conscience suggested, and Uruha gave it a thought, discussing it with his own other half. It was possible, but if he really did let him, why should he feel so embarrassed about it? Well, maybe not really embarrassed, guilty more like, but why so?

_It wasn't something that Ruki had to cover up from me?_

_Maybe he felt guilty about letting Reita kiss him. He could actually take part in it, too, like kissing him back, for example. And he just doesn't feel okay about telling you._

_Yeah, I get that part. But _why_?!_ he groaned to his conscience as he almost pricked a finger on a piece of glass, _He knows that I won't get mad or anything?_

_You're so naïve. Remember what Aoi said? Ruki has a crush on you but he also still has a bit of feeling towards Reita. How would _you_ feel when you have a crush on someone but goes around kissing that person's best friend?_

_Ah, I see… _Uruha nodded to himself as he disposed the glass shards in Ruki's trash bin, _So that also explains his sometimes weird attitude, huh?_

_Yup. You should learn to listen to Aoi more, you know. He's accurate 90 percent of the time,_his conscience suggested with an wholly internal smirk, and Uruha glared.

_Shut up,_ he grumbled, and locked his other self out in the farthest back of his mind. Even his own _conscience_ just had to rub it in his face about Mr. Always-Correct Aoi. Ugh.

Uruha peeled off the heaps of soaked tissue and threw them in the bin, wiping off the last damp water remnants with another piece of tissue. After making sure that everything's all clean and dry, he made his way back to his room, where Ruki had already finished his chocolate and sandwich. After giving Ruki his medicines and cleaning all the dishes, Uruha then started to work on an unfinished song he and Aoi made as the vocalist's medicines kicked in and lulled the little brunette to sleep.

Uruha spent the whole day on his guitar, finishing his new song, calling Aoi back and forth to discuss a few minor things. He took a small break once in a while to only take care of and accompany Ruki before the brunette fell asleep again. Ruki had once asked him for his lyrics-scrapbook and a pen, but that was the only real sentence that they exchanged because of Ruki's slight sleepiness. It was a bit weird for Uruha to see someone as hyper as Ruki sleep _that_ much, but then again, the doctor did say that he needed heaps of rest and "peace of mind", whatever the hell she meant by it. He had nothing else better to do besides that anyway, and he was now on the phone once again with Aoi.

"I sent over the chords to make it easier for you; if you can mix and match your chords with mine and make it a decent song, then you're a pro," Aoi said through the phone. It was already ten-thirty p.m. and the two guitarists were still talking and discussing about the correct notes for the background music.

"Who said I wasn't one?" Uruha stated indignantly, "Thanks for the chords then," he thanked the Aquarius, his guitar in his arms.

"You're welcome. This is the last call I'll make to you tonight, though, alright? It's kinda troublesome to talk like this," the raven slightly complained, and Uruha huffed.

"I've already told you a thousand times to come here," the brunette complained.

"And I've told _you_ a thousand times that I _can't_! Kai's gonna kill me if I leave him tonight," Aoi stated slightly tiredly from the other side and Uruha rolled his eyes.

"Well why can't you? It's not as if we're gonna do anything here! This is business, not some kind of blind date!"

"Well Kai thinks it is," Aoi stated bluntly and Uruha burst out into laughter.

"He _does_?!" the guitarist laughed, "That is _the_ most,_ ridiculous_ thing I have _ever_ heard!! What does he think we _do_ here, making out or something?" he asked incredulously, but his laughter soon died away when an uncomfortable silence replied.

"…"

"He _doesn't_, does he?"

"Um …" was the only word that Aoi managed to voice out, and Uruha gaped.

"Aoi?"

"… Yeah?" he replied uncomfortably and Uruha knew that he'd dread the answer from the question he knew he had to ask.

"You're _not_ serious, are you? Kai's _not_ thinking that you and I…?" he trailed off, and the approving hum from the other side proved that he was unfortunately right. Uruha groaned.

"Mm-hmm," Aoi answered the groan, "He does," sounding fidgety. Uruha rolled his eyes at the new small problem and put his guitar on the table.

"Ugh. Why are we falling apart?" he asked his older friend, and Aoi hummed.

"I dunno. Guess God won't let us be all that lucky, having all the friends, fans, fame and a happy life. No one's life's _that_ perfect."

"Yeah, but still. I hate it," Uruha insisted, and he could hear a small approving hum from Aoi. They stayed quiet like that for a few minutes, not knowing what to say, when Uruha suddenly heard a small shift from the bed. He turned in his chair and saw that Ruki had gotten off the bed, seemingly sleepwalking out into the hall. He frowned a little but decided to ignore it.

"Whoa that's weird," he mumbled to Aoi, and he could hear the frown in his voice.

"What was weird?"

"Ruki. He was sleepwalking… I think," Uruha mumbled, but then heard the distant sound of the toilet flushing from the bathroom, "No, scratch that, he's in the bathroom."

"I knew he wouldn't be that awkward," Aoi chuckled, "Well, I gotta go now, Kai's waiting for me," he explained, and Uruha gave a grin.

"Waiting for you? Yeah, on your bed, I'm sure," the brunette joked, "You're gonna have some real fun tonight, aren't you?" he guessed and Aoi laughed.

"How did you know?" he answered sarcastically, though still visibly amused, "Nah, just kidding. He's reading a book right now. But your suggestion's not that bad if I could do anything about it," he chuckled, and Uruha laughed.

"Pervert," he scolded jokingly, "Na, soro-soro. Ja ne," he rounded off the conversation, and he put the wireless phone back to its respected place where the device could charge itself. He put away the pieces of loose leafs of papers in his purple map and stowed away his pencil as well. Taking the guitar and placing it back in its place, he finally got to his bed and went under the blankets.

He was about to rest down when he noticed Ruki's open lyrics-scrapbook, the pen still hooked on it, keeping the folded-back notebook from falling back to its original form. Uruha reached out for it, wanting put it away, when he then noticed the unfamiliar words written on it. Uruha frowned.

_Is he writing a new set of lyrics?_ the tall brunette wondered, and decided to read it, purely out of curiosity. He took it in his long, bony fingers and his eyes scanned the short paragraphs. His brows furrowed as soon as he set eyes on the first paragraph. It looked like as if Ruki was seriously brokenhearted.

_It's raining_

_Inside and outside_

_But still_

_It's so quiet_

_I can't even hear my mind_

_Everyone's trying to find_

_Refuge, shelter, protection, comfort_

_Leaving me here_

_All alone_

_Dwelling in a rain of my own_

_It's so lonely here_

_In my room_

_In my heart_

_In my mind and soul_

_Maybe because…_

_Everywhere I turn_

_I never seem to find you_

_But every time I close my eyes_

_I can't get my mind off of you_

_I've_

And it stopped right there. Uruha was rather confused by the lyrics; it seemed more like a poetry written by a heartbroken teenager. But then again, since when had Ruki's lyrics been in another form _besides_ poetry?

Uruha looked up as a pair of footsteps approached and he quickly put Ruki's notebook away on the bedside table at the exact time Ruki came in. He still seemed rather sleepy as he rubbed his eyes adorably and blinked at the brunette lying on the bed.

"Sleeping already?" he mumbled sleepily, yawning as he climbed onto the bed, "I thought you'd never put down your precious guitar down and j - join me," he yawned broadly, cuddling close to Uruha as soon as he settled beneath the blankets.

Uruha merely ignored the question, knowing it didn't have to be answered and hummed as his only answer. He wanted to ask about the lyrics that he had just read, but he felt that it just wasn't at the right place nor time. He folded his arms beneath his head to act as a second pillow as he lay on his back, his eyes falling closed as he already had felt extremely tired.

His eyes snapped open, though, when he felt a small weight being distributed onto his shoulder and upper torso. He glanced down and his gaze was met with a mass of light-brown hair, also feeling the small vocalist's arms wrap tightly around his waist. Ruki seemed so comfortable snuggled up to him like that and he raised an eyebrow.

"You really like hugging me, don't you?" he asked as he unfolded one of his arms and wrapped it around Ruki's shoulder lightly. Ruki merely snuggled closer and hugged him tighter.

"Mm-hmm. It feels nice," he answered quietly, sounding very comfortable. But then a small glitch suddenly clicked in his mind.

_Why did he ask that?_

Feeling suddenly uncomfortable, Ruki shifted and looked up to meet Uruha's closed orbs. He seemed very tired, maybe Ruki's behaviour was bothering him?

"Why?" he asked quietly, his tone a bit sad, and Uruha's eyes cracked open, glancing down.

"Huh?"

"Why did you ask that?" Ruki repeated, "Don't you like it? Am I bothering you?" he asked innocently, and Uruha blinked stupidly before he finally registered what Ruki had asked.

"Well, uh, not really," he answered awkwardly, feeling uncomfortable. He really didn't feel bothered at all by the affection that Ruki was showing, he was only a bit confused by it. But how was he supposed to say it? What if he said the wrong words? Ruki might get upset again, and he definitely didn't want that.

But once again, Ruki mistook Uruha's thoughtful look and thought that he really felt bothered; the guitarist just couldn't say it. Ruki was convinced this time; Uruha seemed unwilling to talk and his guardian angel had never actually been good with words when it came to express his feelings.

"Gomen," he mumbled rather sadly, and detangled himself from the older one's warmth. He turned his back to the stunned guitarist and curled up into a ball, hugging his knees to his chest. He felt rather rejected, but he figured that it'd all be okay if Uruha was fine with it. To know that the brunette would allow the vocalist to sleep in his room together was enough affection to Ruki. At least he knew that the brunette cared.

Uruha, on the other hand, frowned. Why is Ruki turning his back on him? He could now feel the emptiness as Ruki's weight got off of him; he felt the slight loneliness. He had also noted the sad tone in the chibi brunette's voice. He stole a glance sideways and stared at Ruki's back. Deciding that he should be more like Aoi -- just like what his own conscience had suggested -- Uruha moved to his side and circled his strong arms around Ruki's small frame.

"It's okay. You don't need to apologize," Uruha mumbled sweetly into his hair, indulging the faint scent of strawberry shampoo, and Ruki smiled as he let the sweet words sink in. He felt happy. Very, very, _very_ happy. He snuggled closer to Uruha's broad chest and decided that no matter how loved he felt in Reita's affectionate embrace, he knew that Uruha's gentle words and careful ways of treating him were better.

**---**

A cheerful tune loudly resounded through the room and a pair of soft brown eyes fluttered open in shock.

Ruki bewilderedly sat up and looked left and right for the cause of the loud sound that had woke him up. He soon spotted the small vibrating electronic on the bedside table beside him and realized it to be Uruha's keitai. He took the purple SE W380i and waved his hand over the lid twice to shut the phone up. The words _New Messages : (7)_ soon appeared, but Ruki merely gave it a glance and didn't even bother to find out much about it. He placed the apparently-being-charged phone back to its place and dropped his small body back onto the bed, taking in his surroundings.

The sun shone brightly through the curtains and Ruki felt strangely elated. He turned on his side but the spot beside him was empty once again. Ruki felt slightly down, but then he figured that Uruha'd probably woken up earlier or something; this wasn't the first time that Ruki woke up facing an empty bed, to sulk and worry and then find out that Uruha was actually there with him all along. It felt kinda lonely, though, and Ruki decided that he wanted to look for the taller male this time.

He threw the purple blanket from off his body and set his feet on the floor, deciding to tidy up the bed before he went looking for his guitarist. Ruki was just fluffing up the pillows and had just rearranged the blankets when someone commented from the doorway.

"Feeling better?" a voice asked with a slight chuckle and Ruki turned on his heels as he recognized the voice to be Uruha's.

"Yeah, I -- Uh…" He suddenly trailed off, and Ruki was at a loss of words, too baffled to say anything.

What he saw standing there in the doorway definitely made him gape in slight astonishment. He couldn't believe it to be Uruha. Sure, Ruki always knew that Uruha was hot in some way, and female-ish pretty to a point, but the sight in front of him practically suggested something new to him, something he had often heard existed from fan-girls, but seeing as they were fan-_girls_, he never paid much attention to it. But now he knew that fans could also be right.

Standing there by the doorway was Uruha, slightly leaning on the doorsill wearing only a pair of trainers as he showed off his well-toned abs and taut stomach. The brunette was holding a towel in his left hand, looking pretty sexy with those damp and slightly messy long honey-brown locks of hair on his shoulders, stray strands of brown falling erotically in his eyes. His gaze rested upon Ruki rather seductively as his toweled hand came up to dry his hair, ruffling the towel against it.

"Oh my gosh," Ruki whispered into the air and Uruha grinned as he had nearly missed the statement.

"Why're you looking at me like that?" he asked teasingly, and Ruki's cheek grew a bright red.

"Um… Nothing, I just… Ah…" he mumbled, not being able to find the right words. Uruha stopped toweling his hair and walked inside with a gorgeous smile on his face.

"Like what you see?" he asked as he passed the younger brunette, heading for the dresser to look for a set of decent clothes. As Uruha rummaged around in the closet, Ruki walked over to the computer table placed beside the dresser and sat on the chair, fidgeting with the hem of his oversized t-shirt, the fabric bunching up a bit around his thighs, showing off the pale skin.

The young vocalist merely sat there and watched Uruha pull out a pair of blue jeans and a purple sleeveless tee, a white button-up shirt following afterwards. Uruha gathered the articles in his arms and closed the dresser door, only to turn and find his cute room mate staring at him. He raised a curious eyebrow at the sight and spoke up.

"That's the second time you're staring at me," he voiced out, and Ruki blushed a deep crimson at the statement.

"Um, yeah, uh, sorry," he mumbled, averting his gaze for awhile, feeling slightly embarrassed and the blush on his cute face suddenly grew brighter as he noticed that his guardian angel casually shrugged at his answer and started undressing right there infront of him. Thank God that Uruha was already wearing his boxers beneath those trainers or Ruki would've had a serious nosebleed and a pair of brightly burning cheeks.

Uruha shrugged on his white button-up shirt and turned to exit the room, slightly stroking Ruki's cheek as he went by. The vocalist didn't know where his honey-brown angel was going, and he actually didn't mind, seeing as he knew that Uruha wouldn't ever have the heart to leave him home alone, but he just wanted to stay with the older one a bit longer. He was rather tired of waking up to an empty bed every morning and being left after only seeing him for a few minutes. Ruki got up to his feet and called him.

"Um, Uruha-kun, chotto!" he called, and said guitarist froze in his tracks. Ofcourse he stopped and turned because Ruki had called him, but it was partly because of _what_ Ruki had called him. The chibi had _never_ called him Uruha-kun or anything the like, and the fact that he is now made Uruha rather curious.

"Uh, yeah? What is it, Ru-chan?" he asked back, deciding to get equal and call Ruki with a cute nickname too, being slightly curious himself on how he would react.

"Um… uh…" he stuttered, looking for the right words in a haste as he was also surprised by the nickname Uruha called him with, "Your keitai rang!!" he stated rather quickly, "Yeah, it said that you received seven messages," he said, voicing out the very first thing on his mind that he hoped can make Uruha stay. The brunette merely grinned, though.

"Aa, sou desu ka? Well, could you check it for me then?" he requested, and Ruki frowned.

"Huh? Why? Where're you going?" he asked cautiously, and Uruha laughed.

"See? There you go doing it again. Why are you acting so weird lately?" he asked, not really expecting an answer, "I'm just gonna get your food, okay? Just check my messages, it's okay," he reassured the younger one before disappearing into the hall.

Ruki sighed heavily and shook his head. It was unbelievable. Is Uruha just teasing him and pretending not to know? Or was Uruha just plain innocent? But on the other hand, Uruha just seems way to smart to not notice…

Ugh.

Deciding not to think much about it -- to avoid further both heartaches and headaches -- Ruki walked over to the bedside table. He took Uruha's keitai and flipped it open, reading through the messages.

The first was from Reita which contained Kai's new keitai number, the second was from his sister who was asking him about his next tour, the third from someone called Hotaru who wanted Uruha's confirmation about his broken guitar, the fourth, fifth and sixth from his operator that stated he had received three missed calls -- two from Hotaru and one from his sister -- and the seventh was from an unknown number that stated an address, a house phone number and an e-mail address that sounded rather weird to Ruki. He didn't have time to think a about it though.

"So? From who are they?" a voice carried from the door, revealing Uruha who had just walked in with two plates in his hand. He walked towards Ruki and handed one plate to him, peering over the small one's shoulder, commenting, "You've read everything, I see?"

"Nah, just in a quick glance…" Ruki answered, taking down the plate but still looking through the phone, "There's a message from an unknown number though, it had an email address in it."

"Really?" Uruha asked, "What was the address?"

"Um…" Ruki tried to remember, "I think it was sano96shinya. It was on Yahoo! with a Japanese server," he answered, finally putting down the electronic. He turned around and noticed the other plate in Uruha's hand, asking cautiously, "That's not for me too, is it?"

Uruha merely laughed at the innocent statement.

"Ofcourse not. It's for me; I haven't eaten yet," the guitarist explained, sitting down on the bed, "Come on, I'll be romantic and have breakfast with you together this time, okay?" Uruha offered jokingly, and Ruki raised an eyebrow.

"Romantic? You call yourself romantic?" he asked back sarcastically, "You've hardly paid any attention to me," he added, though Ruki obeyed nonetheless and sat onto the bed beside the older one, his plate on his lap.

"Well now I am," Uruha said, giving him a soft look. The guitarist himself didn't really know why he wanted to have breakfast together with the vocalist all of a sudden, but he figured that maybe it was because of the after-effects of meeting Kanon last night; he was still feeling rather happy. Besides, Uruha also wanted to make up for the few times he had hurt Ruki's feelings -- even though he wasn't that sure of what he did wrong -- but the chibi had been very nice and caring towards him. It wouldn't hurt to just return the favor, would it?

"I guess," Ruki cracked a small smile, "But you're far from romantic."

"No I'm not," he denied with a sly smile, "Having breakfast together in bed is quite romantic, you know," he explained, and Ruki laughed.

"Yeah, if only we weren't eating bacon and eggs!!" he stated, and they both laughed. The two started eating and talked a bit here and there, mainly discussing the new songs and album. Ruki told the elder one about the new tune that he's had in his head for awhile and he had also told him about the lyrics he's just made. As Ruki talked, Uruha's mind wavered for a bit and then his thoughts fell on the poetry he had read last night.

"… what came into me, I just --" Ruki ranted, but Uruha cut him off. He was still very curious about the poetry and really wanted to ask about it.

"Wait, Ru. Uh, sorry, but uh, I actually read your lyrics," Uruha confessed.

"You did?" the latter frowned, and Uruha shrugged in guilt.

"Yeah, I was just kinda curious so I read it. Sorry I didn't ask you first."

"No, no, it's okay!!" Ruki beamed, "I don't mind! I've wanted to ask you about it but I've just never dared to, actually. Was it good?" he asked with a broad smile, and Uruha felt slightly relieved that Ruki wasn't mad at him.

"Yeah. It was really good, like always, but what was it about? It just sounds… lonely. And sad, too," Uruha said thoughtfully as he scooped up a spoonful of rice, "It sounded as if it was written by a heartbroken teenager," he guessed while chewing.

"Heartbroken teenager?" Ruki repeated with a frown as he gulped down his rice, "I'm not heartbroken," he denied Uruha's statement, now trying his best to look at everything except his guardian, focusing more on his almost-empty plate.

"Yeah, and you're certainly not a teenager either," Uruha agreed thoughtfully, not really noticing Ruki's sudden change, "And that's why I'm curious. What was it about?" he prodded for an answer as he finished his meal.

"Well…" Ruki trailed off, "I don't know… I've just gotten a sudden inspiration…" he mumbled, now fumbling with the edge of his ceramic-white plate. Uruha looked thoughtful, though, and frowned at the little one's statement.

"But you hardly ever write such sad stuff except when it's raining… Or when you're feeling really bothered by something… But you already said you were okay… And it hadn't rained for a few days now," Uruha pondered, and Ruki slightly blushed.

"I just got inspired by the situation! I wrote down my feelings at the time and that was what came out!!" he defended himself, and Uruha gave a grin.

"So you _are_ heartbroken, then?" he shot, and Ruki's glance shot up, revealing his blushing face to the taller one as he denied his guardian angel's words once again.

"No! Ofcourse I'm not; I was just feeling sad and -- !! Um…" the small one blurted out, but he had stopped himself just in time before he'd reveal his emotional secrets to his guardian angel. He felt Uruha's boring gaze on his frame -- knowing that the guitarist would've surely heard his last words -- and he frantically looked around for a change of topic in his mind. Then his eyes fell on the plates lain forgotten on both their laps.

"Um, are you done yet with that?" he asked hurriedly, pointing timidly to the white plate in front of him. Uruha looked down to the object on his lap and frowned as he shrugged.

"Yeah. Why?" he asked, and raised an eyebrow in surprise as Ruki quickly snatched it and stood up.

"I'll just go put it in the back then," he explained as he wanted to walk away, but Uruha's mind worked a bit more faster today and he quickly wrapped an arm around Ruki's small waist as he stood up quickly and prevented the shorter one to go.

"Oh no, you're not," he protested as he pulled Ruki's frame close to his body and took the plates from the vocalist's hands, "If you go faint in the hall and break these plates _I'd_ be the number one suspect, and I'd prefer to _not_ be killed by our beloved Leader-sama any time soon," he explained, not noticing the small blush Ruki wore as the young one bit his lip, "Wait here, okay?" he offered, and let go of the small brunette as he walked out and took the plates to the kitchen.

Ruki was still biting his lip and he sat himself down on Uruha's bed as the owner was whistling his way towards another part of the house. Now Ruki knew that he's positively having a serious crush on the guitarist. Not that he hadn't really noticed it before, but he just thought that it was a bypassing thing, nothing too important. But the signs all pointed to one thing, for crying out loud!!

_Why am I still blushing…?_ he thought to himself as he covered his lips and cheeks with his palm, his other hand placed behind him to hold his weight as he slightly leaned back. Ruki was withholding a small smile that he didn't know the whereabouts from; but he positively knew that it was because of…

_I'm such a lovesick puppy…_ he groaned, though he knew that somewhere in the back of his mind that he didn't really mind it much.

A few seconds later, Uruha entered the room with a glass in each hand, handing one to Ruki as soon as he got near enough. As Ruki took it, Uruha put down his own glass and rummaged inside his pocket, taking out Ruki's set of medicines and he also handed the whole thing over.

"Here," he said, and then took his own glass back in his hand as he watched the younger one, waiting for him to finish his drink. Ruki obeyed and opened the small plastic, taking out the pills and tablets as his glass was placed between his thighs. He then put the empty plastic beside him and placed his washed down his tablets in one gulp with the glass of water.

"Kai and Aoi are coming over today; I think we're gonna discuss about the album cover," Uruha informed the smaller one, and Ruki shrugged before he answered, putting down his glass.

"So? We've already got the whole thing in mind, I'm just kind of fussed about the photo shoot outcome," he replied, and Uruha hummed in agreement as he crossed both his arms, having finished his water. He had always been a fast drinker (in more ways than one).

"Ah, right," the tall one nodded in agreement, when something came onto his mind, "Oh yeah, by the way, you haven't answered my question yet. Whom did you make those new lyrics for?" Uruha asked since he really was very curious about it. Ruki refused to answer though, and kept on drinking, his occasional shrugs being his only answer.

"Oh come on," Uruha commented, "Totchi told me that you being sad was one of the reasons you preferred to go out with him and Hizaki than staying home and practicing the songs we've made," Uruha tried again, but another shrug was the only reply he got, "Did Reita break your heart?" he asked, and that was when he received a real answer.

Ruki spluttered at the question and spilled half of his drink all over his shirt as he slightly coughed, staring disbelievingly at the taller and older male with his neko eyes.

"What?!"

"Hey, no need to get your panties in a bunch, Ru, I was just asking," Uruha defended himself, though he could definitely see the weird symptoms Ruki showed; he was almost convinced that Ruki's actually crushing on Reita instead of himself. Not that he would care much, though.

A short silence filled the air, both not really wanting to break the ice either, when a loud sound suddenly filled the whole vicinity; the sound of the doorbell. Ruki instinctively stood up to go and open the door since he already was feeling a tad bit better, but his steps halted as Uruha grabbed his upper arm. He turned to protest, but refrained from doing so as his vision was met with a huge purple tee. Ruki raised a suspicious eyebrow as he took it, but Uruha's explanation made him more confused.

"Change into that first; you're not going out there with a wet shirt like that," he told the small brunette, "You go change and I'll open the door," he said as he moved out of the room and disappeared around the corner just like that. Ruki slightly gaped at the comment, but obeyed nonetheless and changed his clothes. As he was about to go out and follow the older one, Uruha's W380i suddenly rang loudly and Ruki strutted over, checking the ID.

It was that unknown number again. Sano Shinya, if he wasn't mistaken. Sighing and unplugging the device from its charger, Ruki took the still ringing phone in his hands and got out of the room in Uruha's oversized T-shirt.

"Hey guys," Ruki greeted with a huge smile as he walked over casually to the four men grouped by the front door. Reita, Kai and Aoi had already arrived and the three were taking off their shoes when Ruki walked in on them. The trio were already on their feet when Uruha turned to face the chibi, and Ruki was merely standing there with the shirt clinging lopsidedly on his small frame, showing off his pale left shoulder.

"What is it, Ru-chan?" Uruha asked with a slightly caring tone in his voice. The small one merely handed over the still-ringing phone as he put back the lopsided tee in place.

"Here," he said as he shrugged the t-shirt back to cover his body, "Your phone's been ringing. It's that unknown number again," he informed the brunette, and Uruha frowned as he took the phone.

"Okay. Thanks, Ru," he smiled, and flashed another one at the other three too before he ran off with his keitai to the patio outside.

"Don't take too long ne, Uru-kun?" Ruki called after him, reminding him not to get carried away on the phone and while Uruha raised a hand as a positive answer, the other three merely gaped at the sweet scene before them. Since when had Ruki and Uruha gotten so… _fluffy_ with each other? It looked like a miracle.

"Ne, Reita, since when did Ruki call Uruha with -kun?" Aoi asked in a whisper, and Reita shrugged as an answer.

"As far as I know, he never did," Reita whispered back, being rather astonished as well. It was a rare sight to be seen actually, the two brunettes would usually keep their distance with each other and bother with their own business. _But now…_ The three of them were now all thinking the same thing.

_Damn, what'd happened these last two days?_

"Ne, guys, what's with that shocked face?" Ruki broke the silence, and Kai smiled apologetically.

"Ah, iie, nani mo nai…" he answered with a nervous smile, "We're just kind of… Um… Curious."

"Curious?" Ruki repeated with a frown, and Kai nodded.

"Yeah. Um, I think I've never see that shirt on you before? I know you like to wear oversized shirts, but that just looks way too big, no?" Kai asked, and before Ruki could answer, Aoi suddenly spoke up.

"I think I've seen this purple one before, but I've forgotten where," he pondered, reaching out to touch the fabric and rub it between his fingertips, and Reita suddenly gave him his answer.

"Hey, didn't Uruha wear this shirt on Kai's birthday last year? I gave one exactly like this to him when were in college," the bassist remembered and Ruki nodded with a huge smile.

"Yeah, ofcourse you did, this is Uruha's," the brunette agreed, "I was in a hurry to greet you guys and since this was the only thing near us Uruha gave it to me to wear," he explained with a simple shrug, but little did he know that the new piece of information he gave them merely got the trio more confused.

"The thing… nearest to you?" Kai repeated unsurely, and Ruki nodded excitedly.

"Yeah, we've been sleeping together in Uruha's room for the past two nights; he wouldn't let me go anywhere," the chibi vocalist informed them with a smile, but it slowly faded as he noticed the look on his band mate's faces, commenting, "Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

Well, who wouldn't be? What Ruki was saying definitely made them curious, confused, and quite shocked. The vocalist had gotten out of Uruha's room wearing the guitarist's shirt, the two of them seemed more closer and caring towards each other, Ruki had claimed that they've slept together for the past two nights…?! Kai was obviously flabbergasted at the information, Aoi was pretty impressed and Reita was slightly shocked. But one thing was for sure; they've all got it at the wrong end.

But they don't know that yet, do they?

"Is there something you should tell us?" Aoi shot at the young vocalist suspiciously and Ruki frowned at the question. Why were they all acting so weird? It wasn't as if he'd did something wrong, did he?

"Uh… No?" he tried, "Nothing really happened," he answered, reconsidering for a moment before rephrasing, "Well, atleast, _not much_, but there's not a lot to tell you guys anyways," he shrugged, and after he realized that his band mates won't give any other reply except for the confused and surprised expressions they wore on they faces, Ruki turned on his heels and headed for the hall.

"What's wrong with you guys?" he commented as he started to walk away, "Come on, let's go to my room; I've not occupied it for two nights in a row," he offered, and walked ahead without turning back, knowing that they'd snap out of their thoughts and follow his steps sooner or later. And he was right.

Kai was the first one to snap out of his long thoughts and poked the bassist beside his taller lover in the ribs to wake him up too, proceeding with taking Aoi's hand and dragging him after their chibi vocalist.

Meanwhile outside, Uruha was still busy talking with "the owner of the unknown number" as Ruki calls him, or more better known as Kanon, Uruha's old friend whom he had met and walked in the park with last night. The bassist had called the older one with the excuse that that he had to talk about something important to him and that he also actually missed him. Uruha then had optioned for them to meet at that very day, and the raven agreed happily.

"But would it be okay for you to leave Ruki-san just like that?" Kanon asked, and Uruha shrugged, leaning on the railings as he focused his gaze onto the back garden.

"Nah, I guess it's okay to leave him for a few couple of hours or so… The other are already here anyways, I can hand him over to them," he reasoned, and Kanon seemed thoughtful on the other end.

"Hmm… Alright… But are you sure it's okay? To meet today? You did say that they came over to discuss your new album cover?" he asked once again for confirmation hesitatingly.

"Nah it's okay. Besides, you did say it was important," Uruha tried to convince him, and he could hear the smile in the bassist's voice as he replied.

"Okay! Thanks!! So I'll see you at Ran's in an hour then?" he reconfirmed, and the smile was very obvious in the tone of his voice as he then finally said goodbye and hung up. Uruha was also smiling -- though probably not as wide as Kanon, seeing as he liked to keep his emotions more to himself -- as he then flipped his phone shut and stuffed it in his pocket. He was really looking forward into meeting the raven, and slightly ignored the voice in his mind that told him the consequences and possibilities if he really did leave. But for once in his life, Uruha managed to shove out all of the logic from his mind and ignored it. He made his way back inside the house, finding the livingroom empty. He frowned for a minute there, wondering where they could be, but then he heard the cheerful voices from Ruki's room and headed off.

"Hey guys," he greeted his friends as he poked his head through the door, "I gotta go, my friend just called and said that he's gotta meet me about something important. Can I leave Ruki with you guys here?" he asked, and Aoi frowned disbelievingly at the younger guitarist's statement from the computer chair.

"Oh come on! We just got here and you're already leaving? We didn't come here to just visit Ruki, you know. This is business we're talking about," he said sternly, but Uruha sighed and stood his ground.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry. But I really gotta go. He said it's really important and it can't really wait another day," the guitarist insisted, and Kai glared all the way from the other end of Ruki's bed where he was sitting at.

"Who is this 'he' anyway? Do we even know him?" he asked suspiciously, crossing his arms.

"Maybe you do, maybe you don't," the brunette answered vaguely, "But he's a childhood friend of mine that I've not seen in a really long while, and he's very important to me, okay? I really have to go and see him! Two hours tops! I promise!!" he tried once again, and Kai sighed in aggravation as Aoi merely shook his head in defeat. Reita, who had been standing near the door and in front of Ruki, finally spoke up with a huge sigh. He knew there wasn't a point into stopping the persistent brunette anyways.

"Okay. Fine. Two hours tops. But don't go and take your time or I can bet you anything that someone here's gonna castrate your ass," he stated half-threateningly, giving the brunette a straight ultimatum. But the brunette didn't even seem to listen as he smiled brightly at his friend's permission.

"Promise!!" he exclaimed, turned around, exiting the room and into the hall. He was about to leave, having already reached the front door when he suddenly felt a small hand wrap itself around his wrist. Uruha took time to slip his feet into his shoes before he turned and faced an innocent face he had known all too well. Ruki had apparently stood up from his bed and caught up with him, having made the purple shirt fall off of his one shoulder again through the hurry. The other three also followed, though in a more slow set of steps.

"Where're you going?" he asked, still holding Uruha's wrist. The tall brunette gave a small smile and gently took his hand back.

"I'm gonna meet my old friend, he said there was something important and that it couldn't really wait." he explained, placing both hands on his hips.

"Old friend? Is it that Sano Shinya-san again?" he guessed, and Uruha nodded.

"Yeah, him," he smiled, "Take care, ne? I'm sure you'll be okay with the three of them here. They'll take better care of you than me, anyway," he shrugged, and slightly raised an eyebrow at the sincere smile that Ruki lately seemed to wear quite often.

"Okay," the small one nodded, and both of them turned at the light voice that carried from the livingroom.

"Remember, two hours tops, Urucchi," Aoi reminded to his forgetful friend as he stood there with his arms crossed, and Uruha merely nodded, to which Aoi added, "And this time, try to keep your words in your heart and your eyes to your wristwatch," he added sarcastically, and Uruha rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Ao-chan," he replied with the same hint of sarcasm dripping from his tone of voice, and he turned to Ruki with a softer look, reaching out to gently stroke his cheek.

"Be good, ne?" he reminded, and he didn't know what had possessed him, but he suddenly had the initiative to lean in and press his lips against Ruki's forehead sweetly. Maybe it was because of the elation he felt, knowing he was going to meet someone he hadn't seen in a long time.

With a smile, Uruha pulled back and was about to straighten up when Ruki suddenly tugged on his white button-up shirt roughly, capturing his full petals in a sweet, innocent kiss as he dropped back down. The guitarist's eyes obviously widened -- as the other three band members stood by in shock at the scene -- but he didn't make an attempt to break away. He kissed back hesitantly before Ruki broke the kiss and let go of his wrist.

"Ki o tsukete, ne," he mumbled shyly at the older male, biting his lower lip, but his gaze didn't waver.

"Uh… Yeah…"

Uruha, who was at a complete loss for words now, merely stood up straight, giving Ruki an uncertain nod as an answer before he waved rather oddly at the other three standing by in shock, and disappeared out the door. He didn't -- no, _couldn't_ say a word, not when he had just witnessed something that wasn't very likely to happen. Uruha shook his head as he got inside his car and revved the engine, making his way out of there and into the main street, his mind still wandering.

_Since when had Ruki gotten so… aggressive?_ he wondered, his fingers coming up to touch his lips unconsciously. He couldn't keep his mind off that act of affection, and he also couldn't focus his attention on the road. He had almost ridden through a red light and was on the verge of riding over a stray cat. His head was just so high up in the clouds that he didn't even notice the light turn green, until the car behind him honked at his car angrily.

"Alright already," he mumbled, being more angry to himself than the person behind him and quickly rode through. Uruha reached the café in less than fifteen minutes and parked his car before killing the engine and stepping out of his purple Honda Jazz. He sighed heavily and ruffled his hair in slight anxiety as he stood hesitantly in front of the café door. He felt really nervous about meeting Kanon somehow and it had crossed his mind to just cancel everything and get back to his apartment with the others, but…

"Irrashaimase!!" a happy voice suddenly greeted as the door in front of him swung open out of the blue. The cause revealed itself almost immediately though, when a black-haired waitress showed up from the side of the door with a sweet smile on her face.

"Ah, arigato…" Uruha mumbled, but he didn't make a move to step in whatsoever. He was still considering his options. Should he go home or meet him? The raven waitress frowned and smiled hesitantly, now standing up straight as she fully stood in front of the door.

"Aren't you coming in, guitarist-san?" she asked curiously, snapping the brunette out of his thoughts, "Are you feeling alright?" she asked with a gentle voice, and Uruha shook his head, both inwardly and openly, finally turning to the young woman. Knowing this girl seemed very familiar, Uruha tried to remember her name, but it didn't succeed. He then gave a small glance to the name tag around her neck, modified to resemble a necklace, at the exact time she asked him another question.

"Hello? Uruha guitarist-san?" she voiced out again, now waving a hand in his line of vision. Uruha's eyes snapped back from her name tag to her sweet face as he answered rather awkwardly.

"Ah, no… I'm okay, Mika, just a bit… Um… I'm meeting someone here, actually," he informed her, "By the way, has AnCafe no Kanon already dropped by?" he asked, but the girl put up an adorable confused face and tapped her lips with his index finger in thought.

"Aa… wasurete na…" she mumbled, "I don't really remember his face either, so I wouldn't really know…" she told him, "Why don't you just come in and look for him yourself?"

"Um, what about Mae? Or Deidara?" Uruha asked, not really wanting to come in. He wanted to see the younger bassist really bad, but he was also nervous to meet him. Mika seemed to read his anxiety and stepped aside.

"She hasn't checked in today, and Dei-dei's inside by the cashier," she shrugged, "But you should come in if you don't wanna block the door," she finally advised him, indirectly telling him to just get inside and look for the damned kid himself. Uruha then finally sighed, nodded and stepped in.

He easily spotted the raven as soon as he stepped in since Kanon had chosen to sit right beside the glass doors that connected the restaurant/café to the patio outside. Gathering his courage and self-confidence, Uruha finally took wide steps through the crowd towards the raven bassist. Kanon immediately looked up as he came nearer and flashed his usual smile.

"Uruha-kun!"

**---**

Reita, Ruki and Aoi were grouped in front of the computer in the vocalist's room, checking out the album design that the little brunette had come up with. It was mostly Ruki asking for opinion and Aoi correcting a few stuff, with Reita merely standing by and pointing out random stuff.

They've decided to start the event without Uruha, seeing as the guitarist won't really get involved with the whole thing even if he _is_ present, and Aoi decided to check out Ruki's art of work that he had put together using Adobe Photoshop and the GIMP.

"Um…" Aoi cut in, pointing at the computer monitor, "What do you think of a bit red over there? It'll give it a more emotional look to it?" he suggested, and Ruki replied by filling the appointed area with plain red, but Reita protested from beside him.

"Ah, I think a bit of crimson red or maybe blood red is better… It looks kinda more oshare than visual if you use _that_ plain red color," he spoke up, but Ruki merely stayed quiet, as if ignoring him, and handed the replying problem to Aoi, who immediately took the hint.

"He's kinda right… What if you try kurenai instead of akai?" Aoi suggested, and Ruki complied. The three continued the small, rather passive discussion, when Kai suddenly poked his head through the door, looking for Aoi.

"Ao-kun, a little help?" he requested, and the three of them turned at once in curiosity.

"What is it, Kai?" Aoi asked, still leaning on the leaning of Ruki's computer chair, and Kai stepped inside a bit more, his fingers taking hold of the door.

"I can't work the microwave! I've tried what I could but I just can't figure it out! You've been here more often; you should know how to use it," he slightly whined, and Aoi sighed, inwardly shaking his head. Kai had become more childish and clingy lately; the stress was really getting to the sweet-faced drummer. If he wasn't good at controlling his emotions and lacked rational thought, Aoi would've feared that the drummer would've gone crazy.

"Alright," Aoi sighed, and moved to go help his younger lover, but Ruki suddenly grabbed his arm and stared at him with equally cute and begging eyes.

"Ah, Aoi! Um," he stuttered, looking around for a decent excuse, "Can't you stay? I -- I'm still not very good at this and…" he tried, but Aoi cut him off.

"You've got Reita here, don't you? He can help you," he suggested, but the vocalist slightly shook his head, biting his lower lip. His eyes showed a glimpse of fear and both older guitarists noticed it. Feeling uncomfortable, finally knowing for sure why Ruki had ignored him, Reita finally stood up straight.

"Ah, you stay here then, Ao-san, you know about these stuff better than I do. I'll go help Kai, alright?" he offered himself up, and walked off towards Kai, who oddly didn't protest at the change of help. As soon as the two disappeared into the hall, Aoi turned to the vocalist with a frown.

"What was that all about?" he asked, "You usually seemed to prefer him more than me?" the guitarist asked suspiciously, but Ruki merely shrugged.

"I just don't… trust him, that much anymore," he answered vaguely, his concentration now back on the screen, "But let's just not talk about that. What do you think about this one, then? I personally like this one better, though," Ruki said, trying to change the subject by showing Aoi the third picture that he made. Aoi noticed the change in his attitude and raised a suspicious eyebrow, even though he did scan through the cover.

"That looks quite okay, but I like the first one better," he commented, "But why the sudden change? What happened between you two?" he asked, and Ruki merely shrugged once again. Aoi sighed and shook his head.

"Okay. Whatever. If you don't want to talk about Reita, I can't force you," he stated, and Ruki sighed out in relief, until Aoi continued, "But Uruha is another thing," he added, and Ruki's eye widened at the statement, "And you two definitely did _something_ and I wanna know what it is," he demanded, and a tinge of pink immediately graced the chibi one's face.

"Well… he did hug me in bed, but…" he mumbled, and that exact moment, Kai and Reita got inside the room, Kai slightly sulking. Each was holding a plate with sandwiches on it, and they both put it on the bed as Kai immediately sat beside those plates on the bed. Reita decided to sit somewhere more distanced, though, and sat on an empty chair near Ruki's dresser.

"What's taking Uruha so long?" Kai complained poutily, crossing both his legs and arms as he sat down. Aoi immediately walked over devotedly and sat beside his younger lover, curling an arm around the young one's shoulder.

"It's only been an hour, Kai… Reita promised him two. Uruha's gonna take his time," Ruki simply concluded, saving his file and closing the application, "Besides, it's not as if we can't do anything without him. We've already decided on the three most possible options for the cover…" Ruki said, turning in his chair to face his band mates.

"Where did he go anyway?" Aoi asked, "You've asked him before he left, didn't you?"

"Well, I did, but… he didn't _exactly_ tell me _where_ he went…" Ruki trailed off, "He only told me with _whom_."

"Then who was it? Do you know him?" Kai asked, but the vocalist shrugged.

"I'm not sure, but he said that he's going to meet someone called Shinya," he replied hesitantly, and Kai frowned.

"Shinya? Which Shinya? Luna Sea's or Dir en grey's?" he asked, but Aoi shook his head.

"No, that's not possible; Uruha's not really that close to either of them," he informed, "And Uruha did say that he was going to meet an old friend. Neither of them knew him before he entered this whole music entertainment stuff."

"Well…" Ruki piped up, "I saw his mail address and it stated sano96shinya, and it turned out that it was his name --" Ruki said, but Reita suddenly cut him off as he exclaimed out loud a shocking fact.

"Sano Shinya?! Are you sure?!" Reita asked out of the blue, and Ruki nodded, finally giving the bassist the acknowledgement he had wanted.

"Hai, mochiron desu," Ruki mumbled hesitantly, "Doushite no? Do you know him?"

"Ofcourse I do, I know all of Uruha's friends!" he exclaimed, "No wonder he was in such a hurry to leave," mumbling to himself afterwards. The other three frowned at the mumble and the eldest of them spoke up, now holding his lover closer to his body.

"Who is it, then?" Aoi asked.

"He's Kanon from AnCafe. Remember? The black-haired bassist?"

"The three of you knew each other then?" Kai reconfirmed, and Reita nodded.

"Yeah, he was our junior at school and our neighbor, too. We were three years older than him, but it didn't stop us from befriending him."

"Well, why was Uruha in such a hurry to leave then? Is Kanon-san that important to him?" Ruki asked curiously while Aoi nodded in agreement.

"Were they best friends or something?" the guitarist added, and Reita chuckled a bit mockingly at the suggestion, shaking his head.

"Best friend? That's an understatement!" he exclaimed, "The two had been dating for two years!!" he informed the three of them, "In fact, I don't think they've even split up properly yet," he added as an afterthought, and they all gaped at the new fact.

"Split up properly?" Aoi repeated hesitantly, not daring to believe his ears. This new piece of information could mean a lot of trouble to them, and Aoi could only hope that he had heard it wrong. And apparently, Kai was also thinking the same thing.

"D -- dating?" Kai stuttered in disbelief, "You mean… dating as in…?" he asked hesitantly, and Reita nodded.

"Yeah. Kanon was Uruha's boyfriend in high school," Reita informed them innocently, and suddenly, the room was filled with an awkward silence.

**---**

[To Be Continued]

I've decided to put **mika-kashii-haine** in this fic too since I needed more than two waitresses to run the café ^^ Hope you don't mind, Mika!!

46 pages on Ms. Word, people, and that's excluding the sets of long notes I've put in here!! **46**!! Damn that's long. Hope it's not too boring for you guys to read ^^

The part for Ruki's lyrics here is taken from my poetry called Ai no Marionette, just wanna state that it's mine so no one's gonna sue me for thinking that I stole it. I also didn't bother to investigate much about the money part since it's too bothersome.

Anyways, as always, comments are appreciated. ^^ Arigato!!


	5. Secrets

Note : I am so sorry for the delay on the fourth chapter!! I tried my best on making this one as soon as I could… Gomen!! By the way, if anyone is having problems with the Japanese terms, just ask me, okay?

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"Best friend? That's an understatement!" he exclaimed, "The two had been dating for two years!!" he informed the three of them, "In fact, I don't think they've even split up properly yet," he added as an afterthought, and they all gaped at the new fact.

"Split up properly?" Aoi repeated hesitantly, not daring to believe his ears. This new piece of information could mean a lot of trouble to them, and Aoi could only hope that he had heard it wrong. And apparently, Kai was also thinking the same thing.

"D -- dating?" Kai stuttered in disbelief, "You mean… dating as in…?" he asked hesitantly, and Reita nodded.

"Yeah. Kanon was Uruha's boyfriend in high school," Reita informed them innocently, and suddenly, the room was filled with an awkward silence.

Everyone was staring at Reita disbelievingly, knowing where this will eventually lead to. Kai glanced worriedly over at Ruki, who merely stared at the bassist blankly, reminding the drummer of their videoclip Taion which showed an exact resemblance to how Ruki is acting right now. _Lifeless_. He then glanced up at Aoi, who was still holding him, and he soon knew that his lover was thinking the same thing as their eyes met.

"So…" Ruki suddenly spoke up, "They're still together?" he asked, and Reita nodded.

"Technically, yeah," he answered nonchalantly, "Uruha kinda left for college without giving him a proper goodbye and they've never met each other ever since. Besides, Kanon was still in eleventh grade when Uruha-kun graduated; he couldn't exactly chase after Uruha now, could he?" he explained, and Ruki bit his lip, nodding.

"Aa, sou desu ka…" he replied absent-mindedly, and refrained from talking. Reita merely stared at the three in the room and felt the uneasy silence. What is it with them? He was merely stating out an important fact he thought they all needed to know! Besides, they've asked for it anyway, didn't they?

"Reita, Reita, Reita…" Kai suddenly sighed heavily, breaking the uneasy silence, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly, "I swear I'm gonna kill you someday," he exclaimed before shaking his head and breaking away from Aoi's embrace. He stood up and made his way out of the room, followed by a confused-looking Aoi, leaving the two Kanagawa men alone in the room.

"What did I do?" Reita exclaimed immediately as soon as he came to from the shock standing up and jogging towards the door, "Hey! Kai!" he called, and turned to Ruki, saying, "Wait here, kay?" before dashing out of the room, following his two other band mates, "Kai!! What did I do this time?! Hey!!"

And he left Ruki alone in his room to think.

The empty silence was all that accompanied him, but he didn't really mind. He was too lost in his own thoughts to even care anymore. His emotions felt all mixed up and he honestly didn't know what to do. Why was he even feeling like this? Wasn't he supposed to be happy? Sure, his crush -- or maybe was it love? -- towards Uruha goes unrequited, but that all has a reasonable explanation, right? He's already got someone else, and Ruki has to accept that. He has no right whatsoever to claim Uruha's affection… no matter how much he wanted it.

Now all that's left to think about was his reaction towards his friends. Should he tell them the truth or just stay quiet and pretend nothing happened? Should he act cool and put on his 'adult mask', the one he's always worn in front of everyone? Or should he just be who he really is and show how he really feels? He's getting tired of acting like a mature person who's always patient, smart and understanding, even though sometimes, he just doesn't get the situation around him.

He had always counted on Reita to explain things to him, the bassist being the only one who can read him so well without any words at all -- or so he thought at first. Feeling uncomfortable being so suddenly alone in his room, Ruki moved to get on his feet and decided to follow the other three out into the livingroom. He got out of his room and walked the hall, almost reaching his destination when he suddenly heard held down voices participating in a heated argument. Ruki hid his body as small as he could behind the hall's corner as he listened in to the conversation his band mates were having.

"You really don't think before you talk, do you?" Kai accused, sounding tired, and Ruki could hear the sound of something falling on top of the sofa. Sounds like someone is sitting down.

"But you guys have all the right to know!!" Reita defended himself, and then the sound of the sofa being punched could be heard.

"But couldn't you've at least think for a minute and consider Ruki's feelings?!" Aoi protested, obviously struggling to keep his voice down, "Didn't you see how he looked like in there? _Lifeless_!! Like a rag doll!!"

"Well why should he be?!" Reita replied, now sounding rather heated, "It shouldn't be a burden to him! So _what_ if Kanon and Uruha've dated in Highschool? It's all in the past!!"

"But still -- !" Aoi started, but Reita had already cut him off.

"Look, if they're meeting each other right now, it doesn't exactly mean that they'll pick up where they've left off!" Reita insisted, "Maybe they're just meeting each other to say hi, or maybe they've just missed each other, or maybe it's something else! You can't just take conclusions like that, and get mad at me for telling the truth okay?!" Reita stated, standing up for his honey-brown friend devotedly. Ruki could hear the other two sigh, and it seemed as if Aoi had joined the first person sitting on the sofa.

"Okay. Fine. You're right. But next time, watch your words," he declared, and then a long silence filled the room.

Ruki sighed. He wanted to go in there, but now he really thinks that it's best to just get back inside his room and wait for them to get back. _What should I do?_ he thought as he lied down on his bed, finally deciding to just close his eyes and let it all go. Even if he knew what to do… Will he even do it?

But unbeknownst to Ruki, he wasn't the only one thinking the same thing.

Uruha had only been fifteen minutes inside the café and it has been another five minutes since he had sat down before an old friend whom he really cared about, but there was not a single word that had escaped his lips, except for the simple, initial greeting he had so warmly given. An hour has totally passed by now, and all that he had done up until now was examine Kanon's face and taking in all of his mimic and expressions with every story that he told.

Somehow, Kanon had always seemed more alive than himself, even more so than _Reita_, and it fascinated him somehow. The younger bassist had always managed to make both of them laugh and everything was always more cheerful every time he was around. He always had a very comfortable aura surrounding him, and he had always managed to make Uruha open up to him about everything, even about things that he couldn't tell Reita. It didn't matter whether Kanon was only his junior; he was always capable to help Uruha out in almost every way, including in mending Uruha and Reita's friendship, which threatened to break in the twelfth grade.

Not to mention the physical similarities to Aoi that the bassist seemed to possess…

"Ne, Uruha-kun…?" Kanon suddenly called, waving his hand in front of Uruha's line of vision, "Were you even listening?" he asked, and Uruha immediately snapped out of his thoughts.

"Huh? Uh, yeah, sorry," he apologized sheepishly, and Kanon sighed, giving him an adorable lopsided grin.

"You weren't listening to a word I've said, have you?" he accused, "I should've known it'd be hard for you to change," though a faint smile graced his features.

"Ah, gomen," Uruha sighed, now sitting up straight, "I heard what you said, Shin-chan, I really did," he defended himself, calling Kanon with the childhood nickname Uruha had given him, and the younger one pouted cutely through his smile.

"Well what did I tell you then?" he challenged, and Uruha blinked before he tried to remember what Kanon had said. Unfortunately, he barely found anything.

"You told me… Everything you did, and went through, ever since we parted… And you also told me why you're leaving AnCafe," the brunette answered vaguely since that was the only thing he could remember, "But what you _didn't_ tell me, though, was _why_ you called me here," he shot at the younger one, and Kanon chuckled.

"What, so you're saying that you don't miss me?" he asked teasingly, slightly refraining from answering, leaning back onto his chair and crossing both his arms and legs, "Is it so bad to just come here and meet me?"

Uruha merely smiled knowingly at the teasing accusation and leaned in on the table, giving Kanon a look that the bassist knew all too well. A smile graced his adorable face as Uruha spoke up, his frame leaning in as well, giving him a daring look.

"Ofcourse not. You know me better than that," the brunette guitarist answered with a sly smile, "But you've really got my attention; you rarely state anything as important," he prodded, and Kanon smiled even wider.

"Then that means you've really not listened to me," he chuckled, "I already told you why," he explained, and Uruha grinned apologetically.

"Tell me again?" he slightly pouted -- a sight you'll likely _never_ see -- while leaning forward and taking Kanon's slightly smoother and smaller hands into his. A tinge of pink then slightly graced the younger bassist's face, but he didn't pull back his hand and answered nonetheless.

"Well, as I said before; I'm leaving town," he sighed, and Uruha frowned.

"Leaving town?! What, permanently, or… ?" he trailed off, and Kanon's only answer was in the form of a nod. Feeling more confused, Uruha decided to ask again.

"Huh? Where're you going then, back to Kanagawa?"

"Um, no… We've moved to Aichi after I graduated high school. And that's where I'm leaving to. Aichi," he answered rather uneasily, slightly fidgeting in his seat.

"Aichi?" Uruha asked, frowning at the name of the rather distant city, "Why?"

"I've quit AnCafe now, so there's nothing holding me back anymore. Besides, Tokyo's too hectic for me anyways and…" he paused to take a deep breath as his fingers slightly closed tighter around Uruha's hands, "I, uh, I'm going to live in Aichi with Tatsuya since he's starting his third semester… And I'm also gonna help Amaya-neechan to keep an eye on her kids… Did I tell you that's she's married already?" he asked with a smile, though his smile seemed oddly sad. Uruha frowned and shook his head, a glint of worry visible in his mahogany-lensed eyes.

"No… Um, you didn't…" he mumbled vaguely, and Kanon's face turned a bit sad.

"Ah, I see," was the only reply that he gave, seemingly lost in his own thoughts, and Uruha decided to speak up. He felt that there was something serious being kept from him and the guitarist didn't like it.

"But… If your little brother's only starting his third semester, and you're only going back to take care of your sister's kids… Does it have to be permanent? Can't you just stay here but visit them often?" Uruha tried to bargain, his hand closing tighter around Kanon's hands, but the bassist suddenly took them back and kept them cradled in his lap.

"No…" he answered hesitantly, slightly fidgeting in his seat. Uruha frowned at the statement.

"Why not?" he insisted, and his younger friend sighed.

"Well, um…" he hummed, seemingly searching for the right words, "I already told you that Tokyo's too wild for me… I'm just low on stamina, I guess," he mumbled, "I can get tired easily lately, and stress can really get to me…" he confessed, now seeming very uncomfortable. Uruha sensed it too and gazed at the young one thoughtfully. Kanon obviously didn't want to talk about it and the usual cheerful glint in his eyes was almost gone by now. Deciding that he didn't want to add up to the already dangerous atmosphere, he decided on a change if topic.

"Well, alright then, if that's the case," he started hesitantly, "But promise me that you'll tell me if anything goes wrong, okay?" he indirectly ordered, and Kanon nodded with a small smile.

"Mochiron de, Uruha-kun," he answered quietly, and Uruha silently let out a sigh of relief.

"I'll be keeping your word, then," he stated, leaning back into his chair as he crossed a leg over another, placing his entangled fingers in his lap. Kanon chuckled at the statement and shook his head disbelievingly, turning to look out from the glass doors as he commented.

"You'll hardly ever change, will you?" he mumbled as he returned his gaze back to Uruha, "Always keeping your promises and expecting other people to do the same?"

"I hold onto my beliefs," he answered simply, and Kanon nodded in agreement.

"You always do," he chuckled, "So, how is Ruki-san doing? Is he still sick?" Kanon asked, wanting to make Uruha talk a bit more than just simple answers and short replies.

"Yeah, but it's not as worse as before. The doctor says that he's just too exhausted and simply has too much on his mind. He's rather stressed out, I guess," Uruha sighed heavily, "But he's also making _me_ stressed as well."

"Ah?" Kanon asked, folding his arms on the table and resting his chin on them, gazing up at Uruha with graceful cat-like eyes, "How so?"

"Um…" Uruha hesitated, "It's more annoying than stressful, I guess, but…" he trailed off, and Kanon raised an eyebrow.

"But what?"

"Well, I just don't know how to confront him about things, or how to react to him, or even give him an answer that will not make him angry and other stuff like that…" Uruha mumbled, "I mean, there was this time where I tried to be plainly nice and caring while he just goes yelling at me…" he huffed, "Either that, or he doesn't acknowledge me in any way or form for a long period of time."

"Really?" Kanon commented as he laughed, "Well how could that be then? He doesn't seem the type to get angry without a reason?" he asked, still lightly chuckling at the new piece of information. It was most likely that Uruha was the one who caught stuff at the wrong end, thus causing Ruki to get mad. It was actually also possible that Ruki was just simply hot-headed. Uruha's answer proved him to be correct on his first guess, though.

"There was this time when he came home late because he went out drinking with Toshiya and Hizaki and I obviously asked him about it but he just refused to answer and sulked until the next morning…"

"Ruki-san sulked?"

"Yeah," Uruha nodded, "And he left with Totchi and Hiza again the next day," he told the younger one with a heavy, tired sigh, "Coming home slightly earlier than the day before. But then it turned out that he hadn't eaten anything at all and he collapsed just like that in front of the door!!"

"But I don't see the problem," Kanon frowned, "What exactly did you say that had made him so angry at you, then?"

"Well," Uruha mumbled, "I did ask him where he had went and stuff like that when he seemed rather sick, and it kinda resulted into him…" the guitarist trailed off, and Kanon laughed, continuing for him.

"Getting angry at you?" he guessed, trying to talk through fits of laughter, "Who wouldn't be? Hahaha," he laughed on, and Uruha frowned at him.

"What's so funny?"

"You are," Kanon answered, his laughter dying down, "You've always been rather tactless, haven't you? If you knew how he felt at the moment, judging by his appearance and all, you should've just taken care of him and _then_ interrogate him!" Kanon lectured, "Not the other way around!! You should've brought him to bed first or something, get him a glass of water and --"

"But that's what I did," Uruha cut him, "I gave him water when he was already showing signs of illness and _then_ I asked him!!" he defended himself, but the young one merely gave him a knowing look.

"Was he still at the same spot when you asked him? Was he still in front of the door like you told me or did you already stuff him beneath the blankets?" he asked, and chuckled when Uruha stayed guiltily silent, continuing, "See?"

"Okay, okay, so I was wrong," Uruha admitted sheepishly, "But it was also his own fault!"

"And how so?"

"He went out with the same person two times in a row, coming home late without a single piece of food in his body! How could I _not_ get mad at him?" Uruha defended himself, "If anything happens to him, _I'll_ be the number one suspect since I'm the only guy he lives with!! Kai will definitely freak," he informed, "Besides, isn't it enough for him to just see those two crossdressers once in a week?" he added in sourly, but Kanon merely laughed once again, though his eyes did show a hint of sorrow behind the amusement.

"I think _someone_'s feeling a tiny bit envious," he teased with a broad smile, leaning back into his chair. Uruha's face turned a tad sour as he noticed the very exact resemblance in Kanon and Aoi's words and rolled his eyes.

"Ugh. Why does everyone keep on telling me that?!" he grumbled, "I'm not _jealous_!! Ruki's just my little brother!!" he exclaimed, sounding rather frustrated, and Kanon laughed.

"Really?" he smiled, "But you two really seem to fit each other. He seems to be quite able to understand you, and you seem to care quite much about him?" the younger bassist suggested, but Uruha frowned.

"Well, that's not quite true," he denied, and Kanon huffed.

"But you guys still look like a couple. He likes to attach himself to you, doesn't he?"

"Well… Yeah…" he mumbled thoughtfully, "But I've got you, don't I? Even if we _do_ fit, I still have you anyways so why should I think much about it? He's just a little brother to me," the brunette guitarist insisted, now leaning forward and possessively taking Kanon's hands in his. The bassist didn't give much of a response, though, and merely bit his lip nervously.

"I, uh…" he slightly stuttered, looking for the right words, "I guess you're right, but…" he paused, taking a deep sigh, "But why don't you try and consider it? He seems like a good guy…?" he suggested.

"I'd rather not," Uruha said, shaking his head, "Besides, I've got _you_ back now," he smiled, "And I'm not letting you go again," he promised, but Kanon oddly seemed to get more tearful by his words.

"I know, and I'm grateful for it, but…" he hesitated, "What if… this time… _I_'ll be the one leaving _you_?" he voiced out, averting his gaze, "I mean… I won't be around forever?" he added, but Uruha slightly shook his head in disagreement.

"No, I am not letting you go. Ever," he insisted, "Besides, going to Aichi doesn't really equal an infinite goodbye, does it? If you have to go, fine, but that doesn't meant you'll have to leave me completely! There are many ways to keep in contact, and I could drop by once in a while!" Uruha reasoned, not wanting to lose in this. He was going to give Kanon every single excuse he could muster, as long as it would result in Kanon staying here with him. The raven, though, merely gaped around lightly for words, before he finally found back his voice. He was touched, he felt like everything has gone back as it were before, but he knew that he had to disagree. This time, though, he chose his words carefully, so as to not give Uruha a chance to talk back.

"But…" he started rather uncertainly, "Um… we've been apart for quite a while, and I'm just… Still kinda hesitant about… us…" he trailed off, uncertainty very visible in his features.

He was worrying his thin bottom lip constantly, his eyes resting everywhere except for the person sitting in front of him. Kanon could feel Uruha's grip slacken around his hands, and he was about to just yank them back and run out of there, purely out of embarrassment, when he suddenly felt the warmth of Uruha's hands being lifted completely from his own. His eyes immediately darted back to the older guitarist, only to see said latter rise from his seat.

_Wha -- ?_

Kanon was completely baffled at the sight and knew that Uruha would surely not want to have anything to do with him anymore. Not after he had doubted Uruha's love for him… It wasn't that he didn't believe in the taller guitarist, it was just that he was doubting his own heart. He loved the older one more than anything and he knew that his Uruha-kun felt the same way, but that was exactly it. What if he'd just end up failing Uruha in the end? Kanon knew that he wouldn't be able to be around forever, no matter how much he wanted it.

The raven was at a complete loss for words and he turned his eyes towards the glass panes, concentrating on the people and sceneries outside, not wanting to see Uruha leave. It was painful enough the first time and he didn't want to go through it again. It was okay like this, though. Better, even. He wouldn't have to burden Uruha in the future and he'd have no guilt feeling left. He wouldn't feel bad about leaving the guitarist, and he knew that the latter wouldn't miss him. It was okay if Uruha hated him.

Tears started to prickle by the corner of his eyes, but he was certain that he wouldn't let them fall. He had cried enough in the past.

His eyes widened, though, when he suddenly felt a pair of strong hands take both of his upper arms and hauled them up. Kanon was speechless and was completely unable to do anything as his body was being pulled into an hug, Uruha's arms wrapping snugly around his slimmer frame. He went immediately stiff in the embrace as he felt one of the guitarist's around his waist while the other was wrapped around his upper back, with the older one's fingers tangled in his hair. Kanon could inhale Uruha's sweet and soft but distinctly masculine scent that he had quite missed for quite a long time in this position, and he knew that it wouldn't be easy to convince Uruha to just forget him. He didn't want to let him go, either, actually, but seeing his current situation…

"U -- Uruha-kun…" he voiced out uncertainly, "What're you doing? People are watching…" he started, slightly fidgeting to get out of Uruha's embrace, feeling rather embarrassed and uncomfortable. But the elder one just held him tighter, seemingly not caring what people would think.

"I don't care," he insisted, "I'm not letting you go again. I love you," he answered, and he emphasized his words by lovingly giving the younger raven a light peck on his forehead.

Uruha knew that this was completely ridiculous, to be hugging Kanon in public like this, but he also knew that he had to give the younger one proof and certainty that he was serious about picking up where they had left off in the past. The guitarist felt Kanon shift for a minute to then wrap his own slimmer arms around his taller frame. Uruha smiled as Kanon snuggled closer to him, burying his face into his shoulder, but…

Why was the bassist sobbing?

**---**

It was fifteen minutes to five and the others had already gone back to take care of their own business. Aoi had an interview with Reita and Kai had to confirm about something to Producer-sama. They've decided to start and end everything without Uruha, seeing as the guitarist won't really get involved with the whole thing even if he _is_ present and it won't matter much. The three had come to a conclusion and had told Ruki to just submit all of his designs and hand it over to their designer Bara since the three couldn't decide which of Ruki's five cover designs was the best.

So here Ruki was, waiting in the livingroom for Uruha to come home, wearing his jeans and overgrown thin sweater. The white fabric matched his blue-jeans perfectly as he merely sat there, his mind occupied with so many thoughts he himself couldn't identify what he was thinking about earlier. He was just merely gazing off into space absent-mindedly when the door suddenly opened and Uruha came stepping in, seeming very preoccupied. He seemed rather confused, but he luckily noticed Ruki's presence and immediately acknowledged it.

"Hey. What're you doing there?" he asked as he kicked off his shoes, "Where're the others?"

"Uh, they've gone off… Working on the interviews and stuff… We chose the designs without you," Ruki replied quietly, standing up from his seat and approaching the taller guitarist, stopping a few feet away from him, "Um, you're not going anywhere after this are you?"

"Uh… No," the Gemini answered, frowning, "Why?"

"Oh… Okay. I'm going to Bara-san's apartment then, I've to give her my cover designs… We couldn't choose the best out of five, so Aoi suggested that I just hand everything over and let her choose," Ruki explained, and Uruha nodded absentmindedly.

"Aa, sou ka…" he mumbled, "When're you going then?"

"Now. I was just waiting for you to come home," Ruki answered, biting his lip, "So that I could properly tell you where I'm going so you won't get worried…"

"Who are you going with?" Uruha asked again, walking past Ruki to flop down on the couch, "You're not going alone, are you?"

"Um, actually, I was thinking about taking the train or something…" Ruki admitted, and Uruha turned to him with a slight frown.

"But you're sick. Why didn't you ask Totchi to accompany you or something? Or maybe Hiza-hime?" Uruha suggested, and Ruki blinked at his guardian angel's words. Was there something wrong with him? Wasn't Uruha the one who had kind of protested against Hizaki and Toshiya's presence in Ruki's friendships with more than a thousand reasons? Why was he suddenly suggesting for Ruki to go out with them?

"Uh… Because you told me not to?" Ruki answered carefully, trying his best to read Uruha's expressions. The latter merely looked up at him confusedly, seemingly thinking before remembering something.

"Ah. Yeah, you're right," he agreed, "Uh, where's her house, anyways?"

"Um, I'm not sure… Downtown, maybe? It's kinda faraway from here though. I've not been there for quite a while, so it might take me awhile to look around," Ruki admitted, and Uruha sighed as he suddenly stood up and dusted off his jeans, turning towards Ruki and walking past said chibi vocalist to the door.

"Right. I'll take you then," he concluded, getting ready to put on his shoes, but Ruki quietly protested.

"No, you don't have to take me, I'll be fine on my own. You just got home," he offered, but then Uruha turned and gave him a tired look that Ruki just can't say no to somehow.

"I've already told you that I've to take care of you and protect you, haven't I? Can you just please not protest for once? Just for today?" Uruha slightly begged, and Ruki was completely dumbfounded. What's wrong with him? Uruha wasn't usually like this. He'd usually put up an argument, no matter how small the problem might be… What happened earlier?

"Um… I'm not bothering you, then?" he asked hesitantly as a last try of passive protest, and Uruha's sigh was enough answer for the small brunette as he suddenly turned around and yanked Ruki's hand.

"Come on, put on your shoes," he ordered, and the two left the house as soon as Ruki got his sandals done.

Time passed and it's been a half an hour since the two brunettes had gotten in the car and got out on the streets. They've reached the city, but it still took them some time to look around for the address since Ruki hadn't been there in quite a while. It was usually Bara herself who came to his house but they'd mostly meet each other at work.

The rain had fallen since a few minutes ago, and there was nothing besides silence and the sound of the heavy rain clattering down on the roof of Uruha's car. There wasn't even music playing in the background but none of them seemed to mind as they were lost in their own thoughts. Ruki was gazing out of the slightly fogged window panes, the glass decorated by drops of rain. He wasn't exactly focused on the scenery outside; there was barely anything to see anyway. His mind was a total blank and he didn't even feel like talking as usual.

"Are we there yet?" Uruha suddenly asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence, but Ruki didn't even seem to hear anything. The guitarist then looked sideways as there was no reply and noticed the daydreaming vocalist. He poked Ruki by his shoulder and the vocalist turned to him in surprise.

"Huh? What?"

"Is it still far?" Uruha rephrased and Ruki seemed to gather his thoughts before looking around outside through the main window.

"Uh… No. We'll just turn left here… There'll be a small apartment complex, and then we'll just stop by the building with the most graffiti plastered on it," Ruki indirectly ordered before falling silent again. Uruha merely hummed a positive reply and did as he was told. His mind was getting a tad clearer now and he noticed the silence. It wasn't bothering him that much, though, but the silence soon got to him and he wondered why Ruki was staying quiet as well.

"Hey," he mumbled, "Why so quiet all of a sudden?" he started, and this time, Ruki reacted a tad more quicker.

"Ah? Oh, uh, nothing… I just didn't wanna bother you…" he answered rather vaguely, "You sounded rather tired at home…" he explained, "Besides, I don't feel like talking."

"That's something new," Uruha commented, as they turned around a block, "You're usually the one ranting about everything."

"Well why should I rant about if you won't listen anyway?" Ruki commented back, "That's more like a waste of energy to me."

"No need to be sarcastic," Uruha huffed back as the car came to a halt, "We're here," he announced and Ruki looked out of the window as Uruha asked once again for confirmation, "Are you sure this is the place? Seems kinda simple for a girl like Bara-san?"

"Nah, this is it. She likes simple stuff," Ruki answered, "Well, I'm going," he suddenly exclaimed and opened the door, walking through the pouring rain.

"Oi, oi!!" Uruha tried to call him back, but the loud slamming of the car door was the only reply that he received. Uruha groaned and extracted a large silver-striped purple umbrella, before following Ruki out of the car, though his steps were a tad more slow. He managed to lock his car and come inside the building safely without getting wet, Ruki already a few long steps ahead of him, but he then frowned when he saw the long array of stairs being held out in front of him.

_Whoa,_ he thought in awe, and he could hear faint footsteps running up the stairs. He walked to the middle of the array and looked up. It was Ruki.

"Hey!! Over here!" the chibi vocalist suddenly called as he looked down from the railings, "On the third floor," he informed the guitarist before he disappeared. Uruha looked up and sighed. _Oh dear_, he thought, _This is gonna be a long walk_. Uruha sighed one last time as he folded his umbrella and took it with him as he walked up the stairs casually. He did take two steps at a time, though, and it didn't take him long to get on the third floor. He didn't have to look around for Ruki, either. He only had to look left and there the vocalist once, hair damp and clinging to the sides of his face. He seemed to smile happily though, as he stood infront of Bara's apartment door and talked to the owner clad in a red dress.

They chatted for awhile before Ruki finally handed over a blue CD case which the red-head accepted with a perfectly manicured hand, her red nails glistening in the light. Uruha could faintly hear them laugh before Ruki slightly bowed and walked off with a smile. As he reached the waiting Uruha, said brunette gave him a small smile and brushed away a few stray strands obscuring Ruki's eyes.

"You're not going in?" he asked and the vocalist shook his head.

"Uh, no, I'm not feeling that well," Ruki admitted, "Besides, I can't leave you waiting here outside, can I?" he added in with a tired smile.

"Well, you're all wet," Uruha concluded as he ruffled Ruki's brown hair, "You should've just waited for me to get the umbrella out."

"I couldn't wait," Ruki mumbled, "Let's just go home now, I'm feeling kinda dizzy," he sighed, and walked ahead. Everything around him just seemed to be spinning and his head felt really heavy but he decided that he couldn't tell Uruha that just yet. He didn't want to worry him, even though he knew that Uruha could see through everything; his steps were already unsteady and he knew it was showing. Then, halfway the second set of stairs, Ruki felt an arm circling around his waist and hold him tight. Looking up, he smiled timidly as he realized that he'd be safe, knowing Uruha won't let him fall as soon as he looked up.

"Thanks," he smiled, feeling grateful that Uruha could at least read a tiny bit of his body language. The tall brunette merely hummed and held Ruki tighter by every step they took down the stairs.

"Doiteshimashite. Just don't go fainting on me," he stated, "I don't think I can carry you all the way down the stairs," he joked, and their faint chuckling could be heard echoing down the deserted-looking building. Uruha felt that there was something wrong with Ruki, though, and he held on tighter every time he felt Ruki's steps weaken.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly as they reached the final set of stairs and it took a while before Ruki finally nodded rather weakly.

"Uh yeah, I think I'll make it," he answered, though his body seemed to be contradicting his words. The vocalist could barely keep his eyes open and was merely following Uruha's steps blindly. They walked down the last seven steps of stairs when Ruki suddenly misplaced his foot and had almost tumbled down face-first down the case… if not for Uruha's strong arm wrapped around his waist.

"Whoa!" the guitarist exclaimed, almost letting his umbrella fall down as he struggled to scoop Ruki up in his arms for safety. He had luckily hooked the purple equipment on his arm with the car keys in held in palm, making it easier for him to just haul Ruki's small frame bridal-style and carry him down the last steps of stairs.

Reaching the main door, he thanked the Gods for letting the rain stop for a minute as he approached his car and unlocked it with the car's door-alarm, somehow managing to open the passenger's door with one hand and gently seating Ruki's unconscious body inside. He then walked around to the driver's side after putting the seat belt around Ruki's chibi frame and making sure that he was okay.

What's wrong with his chibi vocalist?

**---**

Loud, chattering sounds could be distinctly heard in the distance as a pair of innocent brown eyes fluttered open weakly. Blinking a few times, Ruki looked ahead of him and frowned at the oblique scenery in front of him. Everything, from the desks to the walking people clad in white, were all, oddly, horizontally-placed.

_What the?_ Ruki frowned, and it took him a while to realize that he was actually lying down -- and by the looks of it, it felt like as if he was lying on a bench with his head on someone's lap. He also felt a few fingers threading its way through his soft brown locks and Ruki shifted to look up to the person who had been so kind-heartedly enough to take care of him.

"Uruha?" he asked as he recognized the mahogany-brown eyes looking down on him, "Where are we?"

"At the hospital," Uruha replied, "We're waiting for your blood test outcome," he informed the chibi, and Ruki frowned, not even bothering to get up.

"Blood test? You ran a blood test on me?" he asked with a frown, obviously confused. What did they need a blood test for? It wasn't as if Ruki's carrying a virus that could wipe out the world…

Did he?

"Yeah. The doctor was kinda curious about your rather weak condition," Uruha answered, his eyes boring straight into Ruki's, "He said you were unnaturally pale, too. He kinda suspected that you've got typhoid, but I'm just trying not to think for the worst," Uruha sighed, his hand finally stopped stroking Ruki's hair, adding, "He seemed rather serious so I just gave him permission."

"Permission?" Ruki repeated, "What for?"

"The blood test," Uruha explained with a shrug, "He thought that you were my little brother so he asked me for permission," chuckled the brunette, "It was kinda funny to me, though."

"Oh, okay…" Ruki mumbled, "So there's a chance I've got typhoid? Gee…" was the only real reply Ruki managed to voice out, and the two remained in silence once again, with none of them really wanting to talk, either. Time seemed to go by and Uruha had started playing with Ruki's hair again as the small vocalist decided to just close his eyes and try to block the dizziness out.

After a few minutes that seemed like hours, Ruki's name finally got called and Uruha helped the vocalist sit up, making sure he was okay being left for a few minutes. Uruha then walked away from the vocalist, heading towards something that resembled a counter -- Ruki's mind was too tired to think -- and his guardian angel came back a few minutes later, shaking his head as he held a brown folder in his hand.

"What'd the results say?" Ruki asked as Uruha reached him. His guardian angel merely shrugged, though, and helped him up instead of answering, holding him by his waist as they walked out of the building. Uruha helped the chibi get inside the car safely, handing over the brown folder before closing the door for him and walking over to the driver's side. The guitarist got in and revved the engine without a single word, glancing at Ruki for a minute before putting on his seatbelt and riding out of there.

"What's the results say? Uruha?" Ruki asked again as he leaned in onto the seat completely, his eyes closed, "You know I can't read for myself at the moment," he added as a statement, not wanting silence to be another makeshift reply for Uruha. He faintly heard the older one clear his throat before answering.

"Well, it says that you've got anemia," Uruha informed, eyes focused on the road, "You've only got half the amount of hemoglobin any normal person has, and the doctor suspected that stress is the most prior issue that's making your condition worse," he sighed, "Thus all the fainting and headaches and stuff."

"Oh," Ruki sighed, "Well at least I'm not dying…" he chuckled, attempting to joke in a very sarcastic manner. Uruha didn't comment on it, though, and the two remained silent once again. Ruki was lost in a very comfortable darkness, his headache slowly starting to fade with the dizziness disappearing completely. He was slowly drifting off into sleep, but the sudden halt of the car woke him from his near-slumber.

"Huh?" Ruki frowned, cracking his eyes open and looking around, "Why're we stopping? Where are we?" he asked, unconsciously putting his hand upon Uruha's, indirectly demanding an answer.

"We're at the pharmacy. I'm just going to get you some blood tablets," Uruha answered with a small smile, but Ruki noticed the faraway gaze in his eyes and saw that Uruha wasn't exactly really there. The vocalist merely nodded and turned to get out of the car as well, but Uruha took his shoulder.

"Don't," he stated, "I don't want anything to happen to you. Just stay here, okay? I won't be long," he promised, and he watched as Ruki swiped his tongue over his lower lip.

"Well… Okay…" he agreed hesitantly, finally letting go of Uruha's hand timidly, "I'm sorry for bothering you like this," he apologized, looking down onto his lap, worrying his lip with his teeth.

Uruha didn't reply, though, and Ruki inwardly sighed, expecting the guitarist to just get out of the car and get back as soon as possible. But Ruki blinked as he managed to glimpse Uruha suddenly leaning in towards him, and the vocalist could feel his band mate's hand by the back of his head. The next thing he knew, Uruha had softly pecked his forehead and cheek before finally turning around and opening the car door, leaving Ruki alone inside the blue vehicle with the sound of a closing door.

Needless to say, Ruki was completely baffled.

Whoa. What did that act of affection mean? Didn't Uruha already have Kanon? Was Uruha playing with his feelings, or was he just plainly oblivious about it? Why did he have to kiss him so sweetly, if he doesn't have any real feelings towards him at all? Why would he, if Ruki only meant to him as…

"_He thought that you were my little brother so he asked me for permission."_

A little brother.

Was it possible that Uruha only loved him as a little brother?

_And nothing more_, Ruki thought as realization finally dawned on him. He finally realized that everything Uruha did for him, to him, _with_ him, was purely because of his affection to a little brother. _What am I thinking?_ Ruki sniffled as he leaned into the seat once again, closing his eyes as a heavy sigh escaped his lips, _I'm hoping way too much_, Ruki finally concluded, settling into his seat and leaning back to sleep.

Inside the pharmacy, though, Uruha's thoughts were also somewhere else. He had given the subscription to the old man by the counter and is now waiting by one of the seats provided. Uruha simply couldn't get his mind off of Kanon and Ruki's cute, sweet, childishness reminded him of the bassist more.

_Oh yeah…_ Uruha suddenly realized. Talking about Ruki, what's wrong with the little one? He seemed just fine when Uruha had left him this morning. _Happy_, even. So why the long face when he came home?

_Maybe I left him too long?_ Uruha considered, but then he decided that it wouldn't really be possible. A mere two hours can't really count as _long_, could it? Then what happened? If they had started the cover selection without him then everything should be alright, shouldn't it? They knew he'd never participate in the selection and would agree with whatever excuse Ruki or Aoi would come up with; Reita's job was to choose the album title with Ruki protesting here and there. Kai would usually agree with whatever the results were and would hand it over to their Producer-sama. Uruha won't even bother to try and comment.

The guitarist was still pondering about the fact when he suddenly heard the man address him an exact fifteen minutes later. He paid for everything and got back to his car with his mind still in the same daze. He wasn't exactly surprised to see Ruki sleeping in the navigator's seat, either, and immediately proceeded into getting inside the car and gently placing the bag of blood-tablets in Ruki's arms. The vocalist stirred when he revved the engine, though, but didn't say anything and only peeked inside the plastic bag before sighing heavily.

"What?" Uruha commented as they got out of the parking lot, noting the heavy sigh and the weak gaze coming from the chibi vocalist beside him.

"Nothing…" Ruki murmured, "Thanks," he added as an afterthought, and Uruha merely hummed his reply. A few minutes of silence filled the air before Uruha spoke up quietly.

"Did you eat yet?" he asked, and he could see Ruki slightly shaking his head from the corner of his eye, "Do you wanna eat, then?" he offered, and Ruki refrained from talking once again, giving his answer through a simple nod of the head. Uruha didn't bother to try and coax more out of him; it just won't work out. He drove their way through the city to then end up to what seemed to be the only place to eat existing in this story; Rakuen no Ran. Uruha parked his car and killed the engine, turning to Ruki with an inquiring look.

"We're here," he announced, and Ruki sighed heavily, making the taller guitarist frown, "What?" Uruha commented, "Do you want to eat or not? We could just go home and - "

"No, it's okay, sorry…" Ruki mumbled, "Could you help me up?" the chibi requested, and Uruha didn't answer, though he did walk over to Ruki's side of the car as soon as he got out, opening the door for him. Ruki didn't bother to say a word either as he automatically reached out for Uruha's arm and hoisted himself up. His head was still feeling very heavy and he wasn't very optimistic about walking on his own.

Ruki heard the car beep, meaning that Uruha had locked it, and felt a firm arm curled around his shoulder a few seconds later. He forced his eyes open to then find himself being guided towards the café's entrance, securing his own arm around Uruha's waist to make himself feel more secure.

He could see Deidara opening the door for them with a small "Irrashaimase" and he also noticed the rather crowded condition of the café. He heard the blonde waitress direct Uruha to a few free spots before he felt himself being guided away once again, and the next thing he knew, he had been seated in front of a glass table with Uruha in front of him. Ruki merely groaned and folded his arms on the table, burying his whole face in the tangle as he sighed out heavily.

Uruha didn't bother to comment as he ordered for the both of them to one of the waitresses whose voice Ruki recognized as Mae's. Her cheerful voice reread Uruha's orders before she went off and the two were silent towards each other again. Ruki looked up, though, when another voice suddenly piped up.

"Uruha-san?" the voice asked, and Ruki recognized her to be Mika, one of the waitresses that the GazettE knew quite well. The raven girl was sporting a band-aid on her left cheek and the bridge of her nose and Ruki inwardly wondered where she'd gotten her injuries from.

"Yeah? What is it, Mika?" Uruha replied, looking up and frowned when she suddenly handed over a pair of glasses and placed it in front of Uruha on the table.

"Here," she said as Uruha took the glasses confusedly, "Those are your friend's."

"My friend's?" Uruha repeated, seemingly more confused, and Mika nodded.

"Um, yeah. The long-haired raven guy you were with this morning? He left this at the table when he stormed out; I think he'd forgotten it," she explained, and Uruha nodded uncertainly before he took it and put it on his head indifferently, the pair of glasses acting like a bow on his honey-brown locks.

"Thanks, I'll give it to him later," Uruha thanked the girl, and she was about to leave when Ruki, still curious about the band-aids, spoke.

"Ne, Mika-chan," he called, and the girl halted in her tracks and turned back around.

"Hai?"

"What's up with the bandages?" he asked, and Mika smiled rather sheepishly.

"Oh this. My campus got into a fight with some academy and I participated," she explained and Ruki nodded as he finally solved the mystery of the band-aid and the girl smiled before walking off. The chibi vocalist sighed and rested his head back on top of the tangle of arms, but he was now facing Uruha, seeing as Ruki now started to feel a lot more better. His eyes then fell onto the pair of sun-glasses perched on top of the honey-brown locks and another rise of curiosity came up.

"Ne… Uruha-kun?" he started, unconsciously calling his guardian angel by a very loving nickname, "Are those the glasses that Mika-chan gave to you?" he asked curiously, eyeing the accessory, and Uruha had to blank for a few seconds before replying. It had rather surprised him that Ruki was calling him with -kun whilst he had seemed to be upset with the guitarist earlier.

"Uh, yeah," he agreed, slightly frowning as he copied Ruki's idle position, thus decreasing the gap between them, "It belonged to my friend that I met here this morning. Shinya-kun, remember?"

"Ah… Yeah… Shinya-san…" Ruki mumbled as he blushed, "He's actually Kanon-kun, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he's --" Uruha sighed, wanting to agree, when he suddenly realized a glitch in the conversation, "Na, chotto," he stated, sitting up straight and gazing right into Ruki's eyes, "How did you find _that_ out?" he slightly demanded, and Ruki tried to hide the blushing parts of his face as he sunk lower into the tangle of his arms, refusing to answer.

"Ruki?"

"Um… Reita told me," the vocalist answered hesitantly, "Told all of us, actually…"

"All of you?" Uruha repeated, letting the new piece of information sink in, "Like, you, Aoi and Kai?" Ruki nodded, and he continued, "When?"

"Just this morning. When you left. We were all curious about where you went off to and I told him Kanon-kun's real name and Rei-kun recognized it."

"What did he say?"

"Everything," Ruki answered curtly, not wanting to spread the information further, but Uruha insisted with only a glance, and Ruki sighed, knowing that he just couldn't say no to Uruha's gaze.

"What do you mean with everything?" he asked incredulously, and Ruki shrugged.

"Well, everything. "Everything" everything."

"_Describe_ everything!" Uruha demanded -- in a soft manner, though -- but still sounding rather frustrated. Ruki gulped and bit his lip before answering.

"Well… he said that you guys were neighbors… That he was your kouhai… That you guys had been dating for a couple of years and all… Everything," Ruki sighed, "You also left him without a single goodbye, ne?" he shot, and Uruha seemed rather uncomfortable.

"Well…" the guitarist hesitated, "That's not much of your concern now, is it?" he answered elusively, but Ruki managed to sit up, lean into his chair, and scoff lightly at the answer.

"Not really…" he agreed, "I just feel bad for Kanon-kun, that's all…" he sighed, "I mean, leaving someone you love without a single word is awfully inconsiderate, you know?" he stated tiredly, knowing --- if he wasn't sick -- that there was a high possibility that said brunette guardian angel might've decked him by now.

But Ruki decided that he didn't care. Why should he anyway? Sure, he knew he wanted Uruha for himself -- I mean, who _wouldn't_, for crying out loud -- but he also knew that he wouldn't have a chance. The love of Uruha's life is back and it's more than obvious, by the way the honey-brown keeps things about said bassist secret or how it would seem as if Uruha would do everything for Kanon, that Ruki just wasn't an option anymore. It was Kanon or nothing else at all.

"What do you mean by _that_?" Uruha suddenly answered, snapping Ruki back into reality, and the chibi sighed blinking rapidly to remove a few teasing teardrops, hoping that his guardian angel wouldn't notice, and answered, having just succeeded into hiding his cracked voice.

"Well, it's just that I'm kinda curious about you two," Ruki answered honestly, and Uruha raised his eyebrows.

"Curious?" he repeated in a confused manner, to which Ruki merely nodded.

"Uh-huh," he hummed, "What does Kanon-kun mean to you anyway?" the small brunette shot, taking his chances, and Uruha was obviously taken aback.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. What does Kanon-kun mean to you?" Ruki repeated, "I mean, you really seem to love him a lot so it kinda bugs me to as why you would just leave him behind like that without a single goodbye," the vocalist explained, now not really caring to what the effects of his words might do to him.

When Uruha was about to answer, Mae came along, bringing with her the food the two musicians had ordered. They both uttered a small "Arigato" as she walked away, before Uruha turned to Ruki once again, now looking slightly agitated but curious also, while the vocalist merely broke his chopsticks apart, murmuring "Itadakimasu" and started eating his salmon and rice, completely ignoring Uruha's soft glare.

"And why would that be _your_ problem?" Uruha shot, and Ruki shrugged as he ate, obviously giving the guitarist a neutral, "I don't know" answer. Uruha sighed as he broke apart his chopsticks and murmured "Itadakimasu" also, though not really touching his own meal and still trying to figure out what Ruki was trying to do. The vocalist was doing one of his weird antics and Uruha wasn't sure whether he'd like to participate in it once again.

The brunette then slowly started eating too as he pondered about what to say. What if Aoi was right and Ruki always sought for answers to his question? But then again, Aoi was _always_ right and Uruha knew the chibi vocalist enough to know that that little fact was true. But for better certainty, Uruha decided to just ask and ponder about the answer later on.

"Ne… Ru-chan?" Uruha opened the conversation again, purposely calling the chibi with a cooing nickname to catch him off-guard. It had the exact same effect Uruha wanted, and Ruki spaced out for two seconds, before replying,

"Nanda, Uruha-kun?"

"D'you still want to know the answer to that?" Uruha asked, referring to Ruki's earlier question, and Ruki nodded as he swallowed his food.

"Mochiron," he answered before popping some more rice into his mouth, and Uruha leaned in a bit with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Well, what if I said he meant everything to me?" Uruha tried, and grinned inwardly as he had caught a small sigh escaping from Ruki's lips, "Well?" he urged, and Ruki swallowed before answering.

"Well that's good," he replied curtly, avoiding all eye contact, and Uruha noticed the clipped tone in Ruki's voice. But he merely thought it was because of Ruki's current sick condition and carried on with the little plan formed in his head.

"You wouldn't really like it, would you?" the honey-brown teased, "If I said that I loved him?" he continued, determined to get the vocalist to look up at him and give some kind of a reaction. Uruha gave a small grin as he ate again, and when the chibi brunette kept his mouth still shut, he finally reached over and stole a small piece of salmon from Ruki's plate.

"Hey!" Ruki protested, finally giving a reaction, and he looked up to face Uruha, "What?!"

"No need to be finicky," he reasoned, "Just answer the question," Uruha added as he ate again, "Would you mind if I loved him?"

"Fucking tease…" Ruki mumbled hatefully under his breath before turning to the guitarist, "What would _you_ care, anyway?" Ruki slightly snapped, but Uruha continued teasing. The honey-brunette needed to confirm his suspicions and Aoi's information, and even though it was mean, this was the only way he could think of.

"You wouldn't be too happy, would you?" he said once again, certain that Ruki would just refuse to answer straight-forwardly. Uruha knew that Ruki had no genuine feelings towards him, but he was just curious and needed to hear it come out of Ruki's own mouth.

"…… So what if I'm not?" Ruki mumbled in response quietly, and Uruha had to blank a few seconds before realizing something in the tone of his voice and finding his own voice back.

"Seriously?" Uruha asked quietly, baffled. He had never thought that the vocalist really would feel hurt about it, since the kind of possessiveness and jealousy that the brunette showed merely seemed like those a younger sibling would do. Ruki merely shrugged and didn't take much notice in the sudden change of attitude that Uruha seemed to show.

"So what? My feelings won't change your yours anyway, so why do you care?" he snapped, continuing with his food, but refusing to look at Uruha at all. The two of them stayed silent for a while, before Uruha sighed and spoke up, giving the vocalist a tired look.

"Why're you acting so weird?"

Ruki merely shrugged.

**---**

It's been a four hours since the interview, three hours since Aoi had picked Kai up and dropped Reita off at his house, and two hours since they've arrived home. Surprisingly, though, Kai's bad mood didn't seem to wear off much, and it seemed to get slightly worse. He was being completely silent by now, something that was not really like him, and he had also refrained from talking to him. He had only kissed him a bit, smiled, gave him a hug, but that's it. Not one sound came from him. And that was definitely weird.

"Hey, what's up?" Aoi piped up from the door, leaning against the door frame, "You've been so gloomy the whole day, love," he commented, finally leaving the glass sliding-doors and walking outside onto the open area.

Kai had barged inside their room after he had done everything around the house and had never gotten out. Feeling worried and curious, Aoi finally decided to part from his beloved black acoustic for a few minutes and check on his boyfriend, finding said raven latter staring off into space on the balcony. He seemed pretty preoccupied and didn't even seem to notice his presence until he had spoken up.

"Oh come on," he prodded as he wrapped his arms around Kai's waist from behind, "Talk to me, sweetie, please?" Aoi tried, and Kai finally sighed. He leaned back into Aoi's embrace and closed his eyes, letting the faint breeze brush over both their features.

"I don't know where to start…" he sighed, "I've got it up to my head in problems…"

"I could try and help?" Aoi offered, giving Kai a kiss on his cheek, pulling the frame closer and nuzzling into the latter's neck, "I can't do anything if you don't tell me?"

"Well…" the drummer hesitated, "I was just thinking about our album release…"

"And?" Aoi urged, wanting the drummer to continue, kissing the crook of the raven's neck, making the latter slightly shudder as he continued.

"And uh -- we'll… we'll be having a tour after that right? A very long 7-day tour?"

"Uh-huh?"

"And I was wondering whether Ruki could handle it, or whether he'd be even in the right state to do a live!! He's seemed very weak and I even doubt that he's even done the sketch for the stage-décor yet; while he's our only art director! We're screwed!!"

"No we're not…" Aoi tried to soothe him, as he hugged him tighter, "Don't worry so much about it, I'm sure I could talk it over with Uruha tomorrow at rehearsal…"

"Uruha?" Kai asked suspiciously, "Why him? Shouldn't you be talking with Ruki?"

"Well, yeah, but you know that I can't talk that freely with him," Aoi reasoned, "It's easier for me to talk to Uruha."

"Yeah right," Kai mumbled with a pout, though Aoi didn't hear it and kept on talking.

"Then I can convince him to help Ruki out since he's obviously got nothing to do…"

"You'd know that better than anyone else," Kai added jealously, but Aoi failed to hear it too this time, and still continued.

"And Ruki obviously needs his help too, so I'm sure he won't mind," the guitarist finished, smiling, but his lover gave quite a different reaction than he had expected.

"Of course he won't," Kai snorted, "Uruha would do anything for you, wouldn't he?" sighing sarcastically, and Aoi was taken by surprise.

"What do you mean by that?" Aoi frowned, and Kai scoffed.

"As if you don't know…" he mumbled, and it took a while before Aoi chuckled in realization.

"Ne… Is Kai-chan jealous?" he teased, "Is our adorable leader-sama really jealous?" he continued until he managed to make Kai blush.

"No!" he denied, "I was just… curious that's all."

"Hahaha, suspicious, more like," Aoi laughed as he cuddled the pouting Kai closer.

"Stop teasing me…" he mumbled weakly, and Aoi's chuckles finally died away in the night as he held his lover closer.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry…" he apologized, "I'll help you, ne?"

**---**

Uruha smiled warmly at the small frame sleeping on his bed beside him. Ruki still looked adorable when sleeping -- even though sick -- and he figured that the vocalist would've obviously protested if not for the fact that he was already dead asleep in the car. Uruha sighed as he held the snuggling body closer, thinking about earlier.

Ruki had immediately fallen asleep in his car after taking his blood-tablet, the two having just finished their dinner. Deciding that it won't do much harm, Uruha brought back Kanon's glasses to him, but found it to be deserted. He had then decided to just go back and take Ruki home, not really wanting to make the vocalist sicker than he already was, and had carried said brunette out of his car and placed him on his purple bed. He didn't know why he did it; maybe it was just purely instinctive. He just felt kinda worried when Ruki wasn't sleeping there with him.

Uruha sighed and moved to turn to his side, facing Ruki, making the chibi vocalist stir slightly before snuggling closer into Uruha's chest, looking for warmth. Uruha smiled at the scene and secured his own arms around Ruki's huddled body before he fell asleep himself.

The night progressed smoothly and there wasn't much of a fighting protest from Ruki in the morning either, when he had found himself waking up in Uruha's arms on said guitarist's bed. The two managed to go through the morning in silence, only talking to each other when needed. They then went for the studio and arrived a tad earlier than expected, and found Reita to be the only person occupying the restroom.

_Damn_, Ruki thought, but still smiled nonetheless when Reita greeted them, his bass in his arms.

"Hi guys," the bassist greeted with a huge smile, raising a hand in acknowledgement, and Uruha did the same in response. Ruki merely smiled and the two brunettes moved to sit on both sides of the blonde bassist's side. The vocalist started to space out, daydreaming, while Reita continued picking his bass experimentally. Uruha just sat there, wanting to start daydreaming also, when his keitai suddenly vibrated, and the faint sound echoed through the room.

"Your phone?" Reita spoke up, not looking up from his bass, and Uruha only replied with a grunt as he fished out the electronic from his pocket. The guitarist saw that he had received a text message from a certain raven bassist and his eyes shone at the knowledge.

"Your boyfriend?" Ruki commented rather sarcastically, and didn't even bother to wait for a reply before he spaced out again, Uruha also ignoring the rather snappish remark and focused onto his keitai instead. Reita merely shook his head and decided to not ponder too long about it, either. Uruha smiled at the long message and quickly replied, grinning from ear to ear, and pushed the send button, eagerly waiting for a reply that didn't come too long after. As the three were busy with their own things, the restroom door suddenly opened and Aoi's raven head peeked in, his eyes searching around.

"There you guys are," he sighed as he stepped inside the room and flopped beside Uruha, "I went to the studio but I saw it empty."

"Where's Kai?" Reita asked, though still playing around, "I thought he'd come here with you?"

"Ah, Producer-sama called him in," Aoi answered lightly, spreading his arms across the sofa's leaning and sitting back, "I don't think he'll be there for long, but let him look for us," the raven guitarist sighed, closing his eyes. The silence filled the air once again, now with two people spacing out.

But he wouldn't be called Shiroyama Aoi if he managed to daydream for that long. It didn't even reach three minutes before he opened his eyes and looked around in the silence. He noticed the busy Reita, the blank Ruki, and the overjoyed Uruha. Being the always-curious guitarist that he is, the raven leaned over and peered at the keitai screen.

"Now that's really cheesy," Aoi commented with a grin, and Uruha looked up from his phone with a slight glare.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" he asked, "Do you even know who I'm talking to?" and Aoi laughed.

"Ofcourse I do," he chuckled, "It's your long-lost love, no?" he teased, "Little Kanon-chan?" and Uruha gave his usual sexy pout, though his eyes glared daggers.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny," he snapped, "You don't even know him."

"But I'm not that blind about flirting," he stated, looking at the screen, "And by the looks of it, you should be more romantic," and Aoi took the phone from Uruha's long fingers as the honey-brunette merely watched by.

The two guitarists then got entranced into the whole message-replying, chuckling here and there while Reita and Ruki both didn't budge. The vocalist finally stood up after a few minutes, taking a piece of paper and a random pen from a desk that stood in the restroom, took it back to his seat beside Reita, and started scribbling here and there on the white sheet, with Reita looking up onto it once in a while. The group then suddenly seemed to be divided into two groups when Kai walked in, and frowned at the feeling of being ignored.

"Hello?!" he called out into the room, "Practice?" he demanded, and the two couples looked up sheepishly.

Rehearsal went quite well, and everyone was in a way better mood when everything was done. The five were free to go home now; Kai had already informed them of their new schedule and had confirmed to Ruki about his willingness to finish the stage-setup, lightings, decors, backdrop, and other stuff that the art director must work on. He had refused to ask help to Uruha though, and said that he'd only _accept_ help, not _ask_ for it. The others frowned at the weird statement, but didn't comment on it at all. They then parted their own ways, with Ruki finally ending up in Uruha's car on their way back.

Needless to say, it was a long and quiet road home. Uruha had his focus set on the road while Ruki had his mind flying off once again as he plainly spaced out, not thinking of anything at all. The two brunettes reached home and immediately parted; Ruki ran off to his room and perched himself in front of his computer while Uruha took his brown acoustic and played outside by the patio. He really needed the fresh air.

Only an hour or so has passed, though, when the phone suddenly rang in the livingroom. Putting his guitar aside, he stood up and walked inside, not spotting Ruki at all, and picked up the phone.

"Moshi-moshi?" he greeted into the phone, and Aoi's voice sounded through.

"Uruha-kun?" he called, and Uruha decided to make himself comfortable, leaning against the wall as he answered.

"Aa. Nanda?"

"Na, I was wondering whether you could accompany me to the hospital again," the raven explained, "The twin's birth-certificates aren't out yet and it's already been a whole month. My sister's starting to get really worried."

"Can't you go with Kai or something?" Uruha tried to decline, "I don't want him to shoot daggers at me during rehearsals again."

"He doesn't know anything about these stuff," Aoi sighed, "And he's already sleeping anyways, so I thought that it'd be okay to slip out for a while and come back…?" the raven tried to persuade, and Uruha grinned.

"Sleeping already?" he asked rather mockingly, "Even Ruki's still in front of his computer working," chuckled Uruha, "What did you do to him?"

"Uh, well…" Aoi wanted to answer, but Uruha chuckled.

"No, no, wait, what did you do _with_ him?" the honey-brunette rephrased his question, teasing the older male, and he knew that his best friend was blushing at the other end by the way the answered.

"That is none of your business!!" Aoi answered in a fluster, and Uruha laughed harder.

"Okay, okay, sorry!!" he giggled, "Just pick me up here in an hour and I'll come with you."

Aoi did come over, and he apparently arrived a half hour earlier. Uruha shook his head at Aoi's rather desperate-looking attempts and made an effort to say good-bye to Ruki first before going. The chibi brunette had only said one thing; "Come home before ten or I will not open the door for you," to which Uruha chuckled at.

The road to the hospital was way more merrier with Aoi than with Ruki -- Uruha had opinioned -- and had become more cheerful when he arrived at the building. He guided Aoi through the whole procedure, from the standing in line to the straight-forward demanding directed towards the administration office. Aoi was actually quite impressed; who had thought that the usually-quiet and slow Uruha could become rather scary when it comes to things like these. The whole procedure didn't last more than an hour and the two were on their way back when Aoi suddenly caught Uruha's upper arm and pointed towards a blonde Harajuku girl walking quite far from them.

"Ne, Uruha-kun, isn't that Bou-kun? Bou from AnCafe?" Aoi frowned, and Uruha had to squint before realizing that what Aoi said was true. Without thinking, the brunette immediately moved forward to approach the skirt-wearing blonde guitarist, dragging his friend along as he took Aoi's palm. The two jogged hand-in-hand towards the crossdresser and the blonde noticed them just right before they were a few steps beside him.

"Ne, Bou-san!" Aoi called, and the male turned around, surprised.

"Ah? Uruha-san? Aoi-san?" he acknowledged the two, "What're you guys doing here?" he asked with a cute girly-smile, "Are you guys gonna visit Kanon?"

"Visit him?" Aoi repeated in a confused manner, "Uh, no, actually, Uruha's here to accompany me to the administration office," the raven explained, "We've got some birth-certificate problems."

"Haa? Birth-certificate problems?" Bou seemed more confused than Aoi, and examined the two before his eyes fell on their intertwined hands. The two other guitarists quickly realized the gaze and let go of each other, but not before Bou shot a suspicious glance at the two.

"We do that often," Aoi smiled sheepishly, "It's a habit. My boyfriend often gets mad at me for it, too," he lied immediately, knowing very well that Bou was a dear friend to Uruha's "boyfriend" Kanon and that he didn't want to ruin stuff for his best friend.

"Ah…" Bou agreed hesitantly, before the honey-brunette quickly changed the subject, not wanting the current one to get worse.

"Aa, so, where is Kanon anyway? Is he sick?" the brunette interrogated, "Why is he here?" but Bou merely looked back hesitantly.

"You mean you don't know?" the blonde guitarist asked, "I thought you'd be the first to -- Unless he didn't want to bother you…" Bou trailed off, and he finally sighed.

"What?" Uruha demanded suspiciously, but Bou shook his head.

"No, it's nothing… You don't have to know… Look, I'd better go, my kouhai's waiting for me…" he trailed off, "I don't want him to stay alone for too long. Shouldn't you guys be going? To the administration office or something?" Bou shifted uncomfortably, wanting nothing more than to just get out of here.

"But Bou-san, you just indirectly told us that Kanon's here in the hospital!!" Uruha insisted, "What's wrong with him?!" the guitarist was still curious and wanted the truth. If Kanon had been in the hospital, then who had sent him all those text messages earlier? Was the raven bassist lying to him?

"Look, nothing's wrong, it's just a -- a regular check-up. That's all. Okay? Nothing to worry about," Bou sighed, explaining tiredly, giving Aoi a pleading look to just bring his friend away. The raven took the hint and gave the shorter blonde a this-is-not-over-yet-look before ushering Uruha away. Bou shifted uncomfortably once again and rummaged in his pockets for something as Uruha tried to protest against Aoi.

"Come on, let's go," the raven insisted, "If Kanon's here on a check-up then Bou shouldn't leave him for too long," Aoi tried to reason with him, but Uruha -- ofcourse -- wouldn't want to go without a fight.

But when Bou just refused to look at nor answer him, being busy with scribbling something on a scrap of paper, the honey-brunette finally gave up and let himself be carried away by Aoi's arm that had curled itself around his waist. When they walked away though, Aoi turned around when he felt something being slipped into his hand and stared at Bou -- who he saw running away from the two of them -- but Aoi didn't stop walking. His friend looked up, feeling Aoi's arm slacken around his waist, and saw the thinking look that the raven wore.

"Doushite no?" Uruha asked suspiciously, lightly, noticing Aoi's slight change, but the raven merely shook his head, smiled reassuringly, and moved his arm from Uruha's waist to his shoulder, walking on. But when he was sure that Uruha had his mind occupied again, Aoi looked down into the palm of his hand and frowned.

Scanning the half-folded paper, he saw -- probably Bou's -- scribbly handwriting that stated "_Next week, Tsubaki 2__nd__ ward no. 18, don't tell any1" _. Aoi then glanced at his friend, who was worrying his bottom lip, looking very occupied, practically letting Aoi carry most of his weight as he leaned into the older male. The raven didn't know what to do right now…

Should he tell the boy or should he just…?

**---**

Uruha couldn't focus on anything and it was more than obvious as Aoi glanced at him from time to time as he tried to drive and keep an eye on his kouhai at the same time. Uruha's face was just plain unreadable but there was one thing that Aoi could see for certain; the thinking look in his eyes that was unmistakably troublesome.

"Ne," Aoi spoke up, glancing to see as if the honey-brunette responded, "Uru," another glance, still no response, "Uruha!" and Aoi finally patted the younger one's arm to get said latter's attention. The younger male finally looked up, startled.

"H - huh?" Uruha blinked, confused, and Aoi sighed heavily.

"What were you thinking about, spacing off like that?" the older one demanded softly, mind still mostly focused onto the road, and Uruha sighed.

"Bou-san…" the young one admitted, "I just can't stop thinking about why he wouldn't tell me anything," he sighed, "And why Kanon kept this from me…"

"Maybe Kanon didn't wanna bother you," the raven stated as-a-matter-of-factly, "It's the most cliché answer ever, but that's usually the main reason?"

Uruha stayed silent at the suggestion, though, and kept thinking. He just felt so worried, mainly because he didn't know anything. Kanon was probably -- no, _definitely_ -- in the hospital and he didn't know why! Maybe Bou _was_ telling the truth; maybe the raven was just on a check-up, but on a check-up for what? Was he ill? What kind of illness? Will he get better soon? Will it get worse?

Aoi glanced to the side once again as his car arrived in front of the honey-brunette's house and said raven killed the engine with a sigh. He knew that his younger friend was worried; but was his level of care not a bit too over the top? Aoi reached out and patted the younger one's shoulder as said honey-brunette hesitated about stepping out of the car.

"Don't worry so much about it," Aoi advised, "I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready. Don't push him."

"I won't, but I'm just…" Uruha paused to look for the right words, "… disappointed in him," the brunette sighed, "I mean, why did he keep this from me? And why did he lie to me?" Uruha demanded, tone slightly rising.

"I told you, he didn't want to worry you, especially because you guys have just met," Aoi reasoned, "And besides, Kanon hasn't lied to you. He just… kept a secret, that's all."

"But what about those text messages he sent me, saying that he was just fine?" Uruha glared, "Indicating that he was happy with his little brother and helping out his sister?! Doesn't he trust me?!" the brunette demanded in frustration, and Aoi winced as the younger one slammed his fist onto the dashboard.

"Uruha, calm _down_ for Christ's sake!" Aoi ordered in a loud voice, shooting poisoned daggers at the guitarist, "I don't know what had happened between you two in the past, but I'm seriously suggesting for you to not get your hopes up too much," Aoi stated firmly, "We've just released our album, made a videoclip, and we'll be off for the lives soon. We can't risk another heart-broken band member."

"Heart-broken -- ?!" Uruha tried to protest, but Aoi shut him up with one effective glare.

"I'll help you out, but not if you're like this!" and the kouhai sighed at the command, sounding more helpless than before.

"Okay, I'm sorry," he apologized half-heartedly, "I'm just so curious about everything!" Uruha admitted, "Should I ask him the next time he sends me a message?" the guitarist asked, and Aoi thought it over for a while.

"Uh, no, don't," the raven concluded, his emotions calming down, "Act as if you don't know anything and try to be as neutral as possible. Just ask him when you meet him."

"But when will _that_ be?" Uruha slightly whined, and Aoi rolled his eyes. This kid could be so childish sometimes.

"Just be patient," Aoi said as he thought back to the scrap of paper Bou had given him, "I'll look around and help you out, but only if you promise me to keep it down. Okay?"

**---**

Ruki had heard the motion of the front door and the sounds of footsteps echoing through the house, but there was nothing else after that. The small brunette knew that Uruha had probably arrived home and was spacing out somewhere in the livingroom by the faint sound of the television running. Ruki had merely left the guitarist be and focused on making the backdrop for their concert instead, but had started to feel bored and rather hungry as the hours passed. He had already ate when Uruha left earlier, but the vocalist wasn't really sure whether Uruha had eaten, too. So he finally got up from his chair and walked out from his room as he stretched his stiff body and arms, cracking his neck as he walked.

"Oh, so you found your guitar?" Ruki commented as he Uruha fiddling with his acoustic in front of the television, "Next time, don't leave your precious belongings on the terrace," but Uruha didn't give any real responses.

"Ah right. I must've forgotten. Arigato," he murmured, and continued picking the strings. Ruki frowned at the weird reaction and sighed, deciding not to ponder much about it and move on to his next question. He knew that he was feeling rather worried and curious somewhere inside his heart, but he didn't want to pay much attention to it. The vocalist just didn't want to risk getting more feelings for the taller brunette…

Ugh.

"Did you eat yet?" Ruki asked, and Uruha looked up thoughtfully, though his eyes seemed oddly empty.

"Well, not really…" he answered quietly, returning to his guitar, and Ruki took a few steps closer.

"Wanna catch a bite?" the chibi offered, but Uruha seemed to hesitate.

"Uh, did you?" he asked back, and Ruki had to think the question over before answering.

"Yeah, right after you left."

"Oh okay, I'll be fine then," he declined, obviously not in the mood, and Ruki frowned at the act.

"Huh? Why?"

"I just don't feel like eating alone," he answered vaguely, and Ruki stared. What was Uruha supposed to mean by that statement?

"Uh… Okay…" he hesitated, "Well, the food's in the kitchen if you want anything," Ruki shrugged, and without another word, walked off towards said area, coming back with two bags of chips in his hands. He dropped one bag in Uruha's lap as he passed the older brunette, not speaking a single word, and trotted off to his room.

He continued working on his backdrop designs for each place for hours until the sun has finally set and the clock has struck ten p.m. His eyes had started to feel heavy as well. Yawning, Ruki put aside all of the papers and stationery that he had been using and got up from his seat. Ruki moved close his slightly open bedroom door before he went off to sleep, but noticed the bright light shining from his housemate's room.

Curious, Ruki got out into the hall and pushed down the door handle, peeking his head inside the room, and found himself speechless. The sight that met his eyes were quite predictable, to be quite frank, but he just had never thought for such a prediction to come true.

There the honey-brunette guitarist was, sleeping with half of his body in the blankets, the other half propped up against the head-board with his brown acoustic beside him. As said before, Ruki had never thought that he'd see something unusual like this. He always knew that the line "guitarists sleep with their guitars" was supposed to be metaphoric, but this is just…

Holding in a laugh, Ruki made way to Uruha's bed and quietly took the guitar from his hands, placing it beside the honey-brunette's desk neatly before -- with a lot of effort -- rearranging Uruha's sleeping position to seem a bit more normal and tucked the older one in the blankets. In all honesty, Ruki felt rather awkward doing this since it was usually Uruha who took care of him, but he decided to just shrug it off. There were no harm in helping other people, ne?

_Especially when that other person happened to be Uruha…_ he thought with a sad smile, and after checking one last time that his guardian angel would be just fine, walked off towards his own room with a sigh.

The next day came and the two brunettes went through it like the former quiet days. But this time, the atmosphere was a tiny bit different. Usually, it was Uruha who would be trying to ignore Ruki's quiet antics, but today, it was the other way around. The honey-brunette was obviously being very emotional -- though quiet -- and Ruki was trying his best to ignore the older one. He cared a lot for the taller male -- no matter how pissed off he might feel -- and was feeling very uncomfortable about it.

He had often thought about how far the two of them have drifted apart since those first years after they've first met and to be honest, he felt kinda sad about it. Uruha used to take him to weird places he's never been to, he used to be someone Ruki could count on, but now…

Not that it was very different nowadays, Uruha still cared about the chibi and the vocalist knew that his guardian angel would always be there for him when he needed it, but it just felt odd if Ruki would start being clingy again like he used to. They were both very occupied with their own tasks inside the band and…

_We've just grown apart. It's as simple as that,_ Ruki concluded with a heavy sigh as he stepped out of Uruha's car and into the building.

Kai had insisted on having at least a short rehearsal today, even though most of them had plans of their own on a weekend. He had said that there were too many skipped practices and that their Manager was starting to get irritated. So said raven had scheduled their rehearsal at a time when none of their later activities would get bothered, or at least so he had thought. Being an early riser, he had arranged everything to be set by eight in the morning and as predicted, Reita came a half an hour late while Ruki and Uruha arrived just in time. The three of them didn't know how Kai had managed to wake Aoi up -- who had very serious sleeping and waking difficulties -- but the two ravens arrived a tiny bit earlier than all of them though Aoi was found napping in Kai's lap.

Luckily, their rehearsal went very well and Aoi finally managed to play Headache Man with less difficulty than usual, even though he still kept up his grumblings about how troublesome the song was -- maybe affected by his lack of sleep? They managed to go over Hakuri and another three songs and was halfway through The Invisible Wall when their Manager walked in and requested Kai over immediately.

The drummer followed him obediently with a confused look and Aoi had then declared that practice was over for today and would be continued at Monday. The four of them then moved to the restroom, lounging around aimlessly for a while, before Uruha's keitai suddenly rang loudly and said guitarist's expression turned unreadable for a while.

Reita and Ruki didn't really pay much attention to it, seeing as the two of them were talking to each other, but they did look up when Uruha stood up and flopped beside Aoi with a troubled face. The two guitarists then started talking over the text message in urgent, hushed voices, with Aoi looking more stern about it, and the sight somehow made Ruki's chest hurt.

Reita though, as always, noticed the slight in Ruki's attitude and patted his back reassuringly as if knowing what the little on was going through. The vocalist merely gave back a small smile, but jumped when his own phone started ringing, the ringtone indicating that there was a call from someone. The chibi immediately stood up and made his way out of the room as he fished out his keitai from his jeans along the way, talking into the receiver as soon as he got out, not checking the ID beforehand.

"Moshi-moshi?" he greeted, and was instantly met by a very cheerful voice .

"Moshi-moshi mo!!" the voice chirped, and Ruki took the phone off his ear for awhile to check the ID and sweatdropped as he saw it to be Toshiya. He placed it back to his ear again and replied, even though he quietly dreaded what he was about to hear.

"Aa, Toshiya-kun," he tried to smile, "What's up?"

"Nani mo nai," he answered, his mega-watt smile visible through his voice, "I just wanted to ask you out today!!" he chirped, and Ruki frowned at the statement.

"Ask me out? But where did --"

"Hizaki's right here with me, but we wanted to introduce you to a friend of his!" Toshiya explained, "We just thought it'd be better if you had a boyfriend… Or at least someone close to it!"

"A boyfriend?! Are you crazy?!" Ruki exclaimed a bit louder than intended, and quickly toned his voice down, "My bandmates are going to kill you if they find out! Especially Reita and Uruha!!" he stated, but the bassist wouldn't be called Totchi if he wasn't persistent.

"Uruha's been freaking you out, I can tell by your voice," Toshiya insisted, "Just come along with me, okay? Please? I promise nothing'll happen to you this time!!" the older one begged, and Ruki sighed.

"But what about Uruha? I can't leave --" Ruki tried one last time, but the bassist had already cut him off snappishly with a demanding tone.

"Yes you can!" Toshiya snapped, "Look, Ru-chan, I know that Uruha-san cares about you, and even though I know he could like you back, he's still not making a move whatsoever and I seriously want you to be a bit 'appreciated'."

"Appreciated?" Ruki repeated quietly, his heart somewhat touched, "You don't think I'm being…"

"No, no, no," Toshiya quickly corrected himself as he tried to soothe the chibi, "I don't think that you're not being appreciated, but the last time we went out, Hizaki told me that you seemed so sad and I… well…" the bassist trailed off, seemingly not able to find the right words, "Look, I just want to see you smile, _for real_, just this once!" he concluded, and Ruki stayed quiet.

It wasn't because he felt offended, but it was more because he was touched. He hadn't known Toshiya and Hizaki for long, but both the bassist and guitarist already seemed to know him so well; especially for Hizaki who could easily read him and for Toshiya who could easily make him feel at ease…

"Hello?" Toshiya's voice rang through, "You there?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm here," Ruki replied, sniffling, and the raven bassist caught the small noise and instantly sounded concerned.

"Daijoubu?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Ruki sighed, "It's just that what you've said's been the nicest thing anyone has said to me for the last few weeks," he admitted, and Toshiya awed.

"Aww, I told you that you needed some serious pampering!! Look, I know Uruha's totally 'boyfriend material', but if he's not there to take you out, then I will!!"

"Ahaha, arigato na, Toshiya-kun," Ruki chuckled, but then a certain glitch came to mind, "But uh, isn't Dir en grey going to have a few LIVEs coming up soon?" he asked, "Shouldn't you guys be practicing or something?"

"Ah… ano…" the raven chuckled nervously, obviously hesitating to answer, but then a another voice rang through the phone.

"He's too lazy for rehearsal!!" a voice that sounded rather familiar called through loudly, and Ruki frowned.

"Who's that?"

"Hiza-hime, he's here with me…"

"Oh… Right," Ruki mumbled, "So you asked me out because you didn't want to attend practice?"

"And because you're adorable and kind and would do anything for me," Toshiya added in sweetly, trying to sound as girly and childish as possible, "Ow! Hiza!!" and suddenly yelped as Hizaki apparently whacked him on the other end, "That hurt!!"

"I don't care," Hizaki's voice rang through softly, and Ruki giggled.

"Okay, okay, because I'd 'do anything for you'," the vocalist repeated sarcastically, "I'll go," and Toshiya cheered.

"Yay!! Where're you now?"

"Well, I'm at the PSC building right now, third floor. Why? You're gonna pick me up again?"

"Ofcourse!!" Toshiya chirped, "I'll call you when I get there, okay? I'll be there in fifteen minutes, I promise!! Ja ne!!"

"Ja," Ruki replied, and the happy bassist hung up. Ruki smiled as he stuffed his cell back in his jeans and leaned on the wall beside the door as he spaced out. He wanted to say no, actually, but he didn't have anything 'real' planned for today, so what harm could going out with Totchi do? As long as he took care of himself, and didn't repeat his mistakes, everything could be just fine, right?

With a satisfied small smile, Ruki sighed and turned around, entering the rest room, only to find the atmosphere to have changed. The three guitarists were sitting by each other on the sofa, but they were each wearing different expressions. Three, different, scary and suspicious expressions.

Uruha was unlike usual glaring daggers at practically everything in the room, seeming as if ready to kill anyone in his path. When Ruki caught his gaze, said honey-brunette immediately looked at another direction.

Reita seemed thoughtful, a look that Ruki knew all too well, the one that clearly showed that Reita was putting together the pieces of a puzzle. What puzzle it exactly is, Ruki wouldn't know. But when the bassist caught Ruki's gaze, he merely gave a small nervous smile before looking down at his shoes, thinking again.

Aoi on the other hand, seemed tense, alert, and thinking altogether. He kept glancing worriedly at Uruha, and his expression was just so suspicious… But then again, Ruki didn't think much about it and thought that it may have been caused by that text message Uruha received. But either way, Ruki didn't care as he flashed his mega-watt smile and took his sling-bag from beside Reita.

"Ne, minna, I gotta go. A friend just called so we're gonna hang out," he explained, but Uruha scoffed at the statement, which earned a surprised stare from both Ruki and Reita and a very poisonous death glare from Aoi. Ruki noticed that too, ofcourse, and got even more confused.

"What?" he spoke up, directly asking Uruha, and the brunette answered as he looked away.

"Are you gonna _hang_ out or _date_ out?" he snapped, making Reita turn to him in disbelief and Aoi showed signs of giving up as he buried his face in his hands and let out a heavy sigh. Ruki gaped at the answer, though, and fully turned towards the older one with a glare that almost rivaled Aoi's earlier one.

"That is none of your business," he answered curtly, and everyone inside the room could feel the tense air hanging around.

"Never mind him, he's ranting," Reita tried to even the situation, "Who are you going with?"

"Um…" Ruki hesitated, "He's a new friend… But I've went out with him quite often and he's quite a fun guy."

"Yeah, 'fun' describes Toshiya, alright," Uruha added in with the same hint of sarcasm dripping from his voice and the other two guitarist immediately looked up at the name as Ruki stared.

"Toshiya?!" Aoi and Reita repeated incredulously, while Ruki seemed to struggle for words.

"Toshiya-kun? Where'd you get that idea from?"

"Wild guess," Uruha answered without eye contact, "Who else would take you out at obscene moments except for that crossdresser?"

"Don't judge people by their cover," Ruki defended the bassist, "Besides, you never cared anyway, so why would you now?"

"Hey!" Uruha glared indignantly, "I _do_ care!"

"But why should you? I'm not even your anything!!" the vocalist continued, and Aoi sighed heavily once again as Reita sweatdropped.

"Guys, take it easy," he murmured, "As long as you trust your friend then I trust him too, okay?" Reita claimed, turning to Ruki, "But where will you be going?"

"Honestly, I don't know. But I think the place might be special," the chibi added in as an afterthought, and Uruha scoffed again, but then received a small shove from Aoi this time. Ruki frowned at it, but stayed quiet and looked at Aoi for an explanation. He didn't say what Ruki wanted to hear, though.

"Well, just don't do anything rash, wherever your friend will take you, okay?" was the only sentence that came out of Aoi's mouth, "Just message me wherever you end up later, so we don't get worried," Reita advised, adding in, and Ruki smiled. Turns out that there was still someone who cares about him.

"Alright. I promise," he nodded, when his keitai suddenly rang for a few seconds, "Well, I guess he's here," Ruki bowed, "Na, ikimasu, Aoi-san," turning to Aoi, "Rei-kun," turning to Reita, before he finally turned around fully and walked off, not saying one single word to Uruha.

After a few seconds, Reita tailed after Ruki, peeking head out through the door before saying, "Yup, he's gone into the elevator," he announced, and exactly at that moment, Aoi poked Uruha in the ribs with his elbow as he glared.

"Ow!" Uruha yelped, rubbing his ribcage with a wince, "What was that for?" he demanded as Reita went back to the two of them to sit down, but Aoi answered with another hard glare and was now wearing his big-brother-look.

"For being a selfish brat," Aoi spat, "Why can't you make up your mind?!"

"What do you mean I can't make up my mind? I care about Ruki; is it wrong to show that??" the guitarist defended himself, but the older male seemed determined.

"You're _possessive_ about him, Uru!" Aoi denied, "And you're selfish as well! You want Ruki to stay and be there for you, but you also want Kanon too! If you don't make up your mind then you'll end up losing both," he advised in a cold manner, and Uruha glared when Reita suddenly sniggered.

"Ah nah, he won't get neither of the two," he blurted out, and then Uruha wasn't the one glaring.

"God! What the hell are you adding up to _now_?!" Aoi snapped in aggravation, "It's not funny Rei! You don't know what the hell we're talking about here!!" but Reita pursed his lips indignantly.

"Ofcourse I know what you guys are talking about," he huffed, "It's about my beautiful best friend who can't make up his mind about his ex-boyfriend or his roommate, am I right?" he shot, leaving the two frowning in confusion before adding in, "Hey, me having fun over at Miyavi's doesn't mean that I don't know what's going on in my own band," he explained, defending himself, and the two then nodded after a few seconds, as if accepting the bassist in their conversation.

"Well, okay, whatever, so you know. But then you must agree with me that he's acting like a selfish possessive brat, right?" Aoi indirectly scolded the younger guitarist, pointing a thumb at said brunette. Uruha's eyes narrowed at the thumb and made an attempt to bite it, which ofcourse failed, earning a laugh from Reita.

"Uruha-kun, come _on_!" he chuckled, "It was just a phone call! Don't you trust Ruki? We only heard _his_ part of the conversation, not Toshiya-kun's!" Reita tried to reason as he examined Uruha's expression.

"Whatever…" was the honey-brunette's only reply, and Aoi rolled his eyes as Reita bit his lip in thought.

He knew that Aoi was thinking that Uruha simply couldn't make up his mind and that Uruha's anger was caused by a certain type of possessiveness. But Reita knew the brunette all too well to only judge him on that. The bassist had thought it over quickly and came to the conclusion that he was afraid of something; but Reita wasn't sure about what had might've caused the fear. Uruha was rarely ever possessive; so maybe he was afraid of Ruki leaving him. But that obviously made no sense since he's already got his kouhai. And that meant that there was a missing link that only Aoi and Uruha know and that link was what Reita had to gain.

"Let's just go home…"

**---**

"Oh wow," Ruki mumbled out as he gaped into the mirror, his long fingers tugging at a lock of bleached-blonde hair. The three of them -- Toshiya, Hizaki and Ruki himself -- had gone to a salon first since Hizaki had said that his friend was to come over in a few _hours_ and also because Toshiya had wanted to get his black hair streaked blue like the old times. Hizaki then tagged along to lighten the color of his brown hair and the three of them emerged from the place with new hair colors, admiring each other.

"See? I told you that you'd look more mature like that!" Hizaki beamed as he also played with Ruki's hair when the trio had settled down in a random café, sitting beside said vocalist, "Now you'd still look cute, but with a more mature quality!! I like it!"

"Ah, arigato. Reita had always said that blonde fit me better," Ruki admitted as he smiled, "I just never thought that what you meant was _this_ kind of blonde…"

"Well, that doesn't matter much now!" Toshiya commented, "It looks great on you, right? You and Hizaki look like siblings now!" he beamed, flashing his wide smile.

"Yea, I guess so," he agreed quietly as Hizaki was still toying around with his hair, but he saw Toshiya fidgeting, looking around the café, and frowned. What was the bassist thinking about? He seemed to be very preoccupied with his own thoughts, also slightly seeming to be ignoring his own boyfriend, though the blonde guitarist didn't notice much of it.

"Ne, what's wrong, Toshiya-kun?" Ruki asked, making Hizaki look up as well, inquiring the bassist with a raise of his eyebrows. The raven slightly jumped at the question as he was being shaken out of his thoughts, and shrugged after he took in Ruki's question.

"Nah. It's nothing," he answered vaguely, looking around shiftily once more before turning to the two blondes, "By the way, Hiza, when's Teru coming?" he asked his boyfriend, changing the subject, to which the blonde latter merely shrugged, now finally leaving Ruki's hair alone and turned to his orange drink, stirring it.

"I don't know," the female-looking blonde shrugged, copying his lover's former actions, "He said that he'll be here in a few more hours since Kamijo won't stop dragging him around."

"Dragging him around?" the bassist repeated incredulously, "But I thought that _you_ were Kamijo's favorite?" Toshiya asked back.

"Yeah, I am, but I clearly drew the line since the start. I am _not_ going to be the next Mana-sama," Hizaki shrugged, referring to Mana's fate in his old Malice Mizer band where he was constantly being the 'victim' for yaoi and/or fanservice, both on and off the stage, "Maybe's he's still suffering in Moi dis moix, who knows?" and Toshiya laughed delicately at the comment.

"I'm sure you'll be luckier than him, Hiza," he reassured, while Ruki merely sat passively beside Hizaki, Toshiya infront of him. Come to think of it, Toshiya is right; when is Hizaki's friend coming anyway? By the sound of his name, Ruki suspected it to be Versailles' other guitarist since it sounded very familiar, but…

"Ah!" Hizaki exclaimed, making Ruki look up, "There he is!!" smiling widely at a silver-haired person wearing silver and blue looking around by the entrance. Hizaki slightly stood up and waved, "Ne! Teru-chan!! Over here!!" he called out excitedly, beaming like a high school girl. The melody guitarist known as Teru finally noticed and smiled widely too, waving back, before trotting over to the three. He seemed to know Toshiya quite well, Ruki noticed, as he immediately hugged the older bassist and exchanged "how are you"s.

"Naa? This one's familiar," Teru smiled when he noticed the shy-looking Ruki, "So is this the guy you're introducing to me, Hiza?" he asked, pouting as he turned to his band member, "Looks just like you," he smiled, to which the crossdresser merely chuckled and moved to hug the vocalist with a wide, happy smile, his blonde curls falling onto Ruki's shoulders as well.

"I know! He's so adorable!! Totchi said that we look like siblings!!" the guitarist exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around Ruki's small waist from behind, resting his chin on Ruki's shoulder, who merely blushed a faint pink as their cheeks touched.

"Well, you guys do," Teru stated with a smile, and Toshiya stepped as he noticed the awkwardness in Ruki's aura, but also because he was starting to feel slightly jealous. He was used to having Hizaki all for himself, and he wasn't going to share the guitarist with anyone!

"Ah, right, we all know how you adore him, Hiza," Toshiya pouted, prying his boyfriend off of the vocalist and claiming him by holding Hizaki's waist before turning to Teru, "As you might've noticed, this is Ruki, the GazettE's vocalist. Seem familiar?"

"GazettE?" Teru repeated with a thinking frown, "Ah yeah, no wonder I felt like I've seen him before," he smiled as he started to slightly recognize the vocalist and held out a hand to introduce himself, "Hajimemashite, Versailles no Teru desu."

"Ah," Ruki bit his lip, shaking Teru's hand kinda nervously, "Sou. GazettE no Ruki desu…" he replied hesitantly, letting go of the melody guitarist's hand rather quickly, avoiding to look straight into Teru's eyes. He was blushing quite visibly now because in an odd way, the guitarist reminded the vocalist to the old Uruha he was so fond of. And somehow, Ruki did not like that fact. Hizaki moved to sit beside his boyfriend now, who casually draped an arm over his shoulder, making place for Teru to sit beside Ruki.

"Hey, you okay?" Teru suddenly asked, waving a hand in front of Ruki's eyes, "Ne, Hiza-sama, I think you should take your new little brother home," he said, turning to Hizaki, who lowered his eyes to Ruki's level. Toshiya did the same.

"_Are_ you okay, though?" Hizaki gently asked to the rather spacing out Ruki, who slightly jumped at the question.

"Uh? What?" he stuttered out, looking around confusingly, "Sorry, I -- I blanked out," Ruki admitted innocently, and Toshiya laughed.

"See? I told you he's adorable," the bassist said to Teru, "Really innocent and all that."

"Ofcourse he's innocent," Hizaki remarked, "If he wasn't he wouldn't agree to go out with us and Mana-sama in the first place," he said before rethinking his sentence, "But then again, I don't think Mana would actually agree if I didn't name Ruki…"

"Mana-sama??" Teru suddenly added in, "You succeeded into dragging Mana-sama out of his shop??" he asked disbelievingly, asking Ruki, and the blonde finally realized that he was the one Teru's talking to, looked up with a faint blush.

"Um, that I wouldn't really know…" he answered vaguely, but the Toshiya backed him up.

"Ofcourse he did! Mana immediately said yes when we said his name!!" the bassist exclaimed, "I think everyone adores you somehow, Ru-chan," he turned to Ruki, who merely smiled.

His mind was still occupied about how Teru could seem so much alike Uruha when physically, they didn't look like each other at all! Stealing glances at the silver-haired guitarist, Ruki took in everything about him as he talked and laughed with the other two, comparing them to Uruha's…

"Toshiya?!" a voice suddenly demanded, "You ditched me to go out _dating_?!" snapping Ruki out of his thoughts. The four of them immediately turned towards the source of the voice and was surprised by a pretty long-haired blonde followed by a tall redhead behind him. Toshiya seemed to know this person alright, though he was the one looking more surprised than ever.

"Another 'girlfriend' you've left heartbroken?" Hizaki asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow at Toshiya, who didn't even had the chance to reply before the blonde marched up to him and glared.

Toshiya stood up with a shaky smile though, showing off his crooked teeth, holding one of Hizaki's long-fingered hands as he got on his feet tightly. Hizaki merely looked the other way, resting his chin on his hand who got supported by his elbow on the table. By the jealous look on the guitarist's face, Ruki thought that Hizaki would shake Toshiya's hand loose or something -- seeing as the person who came up to them could really be considered a rival -- but he merely saw Hizaki's hold slightly tightening around Toshiya's after the squeeze that the bassist gave him. Ruki squinted and frowned at the funny sight, but his concentration broke when Teru scooted closer.

"See? That's what happens when people fall in love," he whispered, but before Ruki could ask what that meant, the unknown long-haired blonde spoke up.

"I can't believe you ditched me for your boyfriend!!"

"Look, I'm sorry Shin-chan, but --" Toshiya tried, but immediately shut up when Shin-chan glared.

"Don't 'Shin-chan' _me_!" the blonde stated, "I was counting on you today!! Kaoru had to cancel rehearsal because you simply weren't _there_, and he also got mad at me because I've not finished my song while I planned to make it perfect with the effects _you_ were supposed to teach me _today_!!" he ranted angrily, the red-head behind him placing a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

"Oh come on, Shinya, you know I --" Toshiya tried again in vain, only resulting in him getting cut off once again.

"You _what_?!" Shinya snapped, and it was at that point when Ruki -- along with the other two Versailles members -- realized who the blonde in front of them was. It was Terachi Shinya, Dir en grey's youngest, quietest and perfectionist member who always seemed to be picked on by a redhead guitarist who… Stood right there behind him. The more they observed the male behind Shinya, the more they realized it was actually Die, Dir en grey's rhythm guitarist who loved to pick on Shinya more than anything. Ruki honestly didn't think they'd go out together in public since they didn't seem to be that close according to all of those rumors. Turns out to be wrong, I guess.

"Shinya, calm down," Die whispered, taking Shinya's upper arm, "We're in public remember?" but the drummer shrugged it off.

"I don't care!" he snapped to his older lover, "He deserves this!"

"Shinya," Die growled, and when Shinya refused to listen to him, he finally made his final deciding move by grabbing the younger blonde's waist with one arm and pulled him back onto his broad chest forcefully, clearly stating, "Don't."

Shinya merely let out a defeated sigh as he forced himself out of Die arm and took Toshiya's arm. He glanced at the other three, giving a small sarcastic smile, before dragging the bassist off, out from the café with an angry look. Toshiya looked back, pleading adorably for help with his eyes, while Hizaki merely ignored it and Ruki looked back helplessly together with Teru. Die followed the two off after a quick sorry and ran off, leaving the trio staring at their backs.

After a few minutes of silence, Hizaki finally spoke up.

"Well, that's it. My playtoy's gone," he sighed, getting on his feet, "You two have fun, and I'll go home. See ya Ru," he pecked Ruki's cheek, "Bye Teru-chan," turning to Teru, before walking off, leaving Ruki and Teru in slight shock and confusion. Ruki stared at Teru for an explanation, who merely chuckled nervously and slumped against the table, groaning.

"Why do I have the feeling that they've planned this?"

**---**

"Ruki's not going to date Toshiya, okay?" Reita stated firmly to his honey-blonde friend, "He's already taken, for crying out loud!! Haven't you heard Aoi? Toshiya-san's already with Hizaki."

"I know, I know," Uruha groaned, "But I'm still allowed to worry, am I not?" he asked, speaking more to himself, "I mean, the last time the three of them went out, Ruki came back sick! For all we know, he could be the cause of his anemia!!"

"Yeah well we don't --" Reita tried to calm Uruha down, but then something clicked in his mind, "Wait a minute!!" he exclaimed, making his friend look up in slight shock, "_Who_ has anemia?!" he demanded, to which Uruha shrugged.

"Ruki. I've told you guys about it, haven't I?" he replied casually before remembering that he never even brought the subject up with his friends, "Uh… Have I?"

"No you haven't you baka!!" Reita exclaimed loudly, "Why didn't you tell us?!" he asked before answering the question himself, "Oh no wait, don't answer that," he mocked, "you probably _forgot_."

"Well I did. I had a lot on my mind," Uruha apologized sulkily as he made himself comfortable on his couch, "Where _is_ Ruki anyway…? It's already nine p.m."

"He's only gone for six hours; don't worry so much about it," Reita sighed, "We've just been here for the past two hours anyway."

Reita had tagged along to his place with the excuse that his toy was gone off on a tour and that he wanted to know of what was going on. They had been sitting on his red couch in the livingroom ever since, debating about Uruha's problems. It turned out that Reita had interrogated Aoi beforehand and that he merely wanted Uruha's opinion. As predicted, the bassist could read Uruha's feelings and intentions better than Aoi and had bombarded him with a lot of reasoning. Reita also knew about the Kanon-issue and was also rather surprised by the fact that the bassist was sick and when now he finally found out about Ruki's anemia… He knew why Uruha was so possessive about Ruki.

But when he was about to talk to Uruha about it, the lock on the door turned and the front door opened in seconds, revealing a cute, chibi blonde walking in, waving out the door before closing it and taking his shoes off with a puff of air.

"Whew," the blonde huffed, "That was fun," before looking up and noticing the two best friends sitting on the couch, both staring at him in awe, "What?" Ruki asked at the two, now completely forgetting about his anger towards Uruha. He walked over to the two guitarists with a confused look, flopping down between the two of them.

"Nice hair," Reita commented with a grin as soon as he sat down, ruffling Ruki's hair, "You look really cuter like this, Ru."

"Arigato," he smiled, turning around to Uruha, "What do you think, Uru-kun? Is it good?" Ruki asked, hoping to get a nice answer. When Uruha faced him with a sour look, though, Ruki's anger slowly started to return, but he tried to keep it down. He promised to himself, though, if Uruha let out a single negative remark…

He was going to kick his ass.

"Cute," Uruha answered curtly, "Who chose the color?" averting his gaze from the two blondes in front of him, especially from Ruki.

"Toshiya did," Ruki answered plainly, "Why?"

"Hm," Uruha shrugged, still not making eye-contact, "Nice."

Reita sensed the rather tense air that had started to build up and finally stood up. He didn't want to get into this and he felt that he had given enough advice to Uruha; the brunette can figure this one out himself. His rising ofcourse received many confused looks, to which he merely grinned to sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. He wanted to get out of here fast.

"Yeah, well, I think I'm going," he answered their unspoken question, "You guys can handle this one yourself, right?" and not waiting for an answer, he ruffled Ruki's hair before he turned around, put on his shoes sloppily and got out the door in one swift move, "Ja ne!!". The other two didn't even had a chance to say anything at all. After Reita left, though, there was completely nothing but silence… Until Ruki stood up without a single word.

"Where're you going?" Uruha responded immediately to the action, though he didn't really move much, and Ruki turned around, his slightly snappish look back on his face.

"My room," the blonde stated bluntly, "You're not really talking to me nor acknowledging my presence, so why should I stay put?" and he emphasized his words by turning around and walking off. He didn't expect Uruha to stop him or anything since that was the last thing he'd expected his guardian angel would do, ofcourse, but he couldn't say he was really surprised either when his steps suddenly got halted by a hand on his wrist, preventing him from going.

"Chotto," Uruha mumbled hesitantly, as he was also rather hesitant about what he was going to do. Reita had driven enough sense into him to make the honey-brunette accept the fact that he was, in a way, the one who started this mess and that he was the one that should make stuff up as well.

"What?" Ruki asked, trying to sound convincing, which ofcourse failed. His voice sounded like a hoping murmur, as if showing off how desperate he was for Uruha's attention, even though the latter wasn't exactly something that he had really truly realized.

"I, um," Uruha struggled for words, "I just wanted to know why you dyed your hair without me," he finally blurted out, that being the only thought inside his head. Ruki turned at the odd question, revealing an obviously confused look. _That_ was definitely something that he didn't see coming.

"Huh?" Ruki gaped, wanting to make sure that what he heard was correct.

Why did the guitarist have to bring up old memories?? It's what his guardian angel likes to do actually, remembering the memories whether they're good or bad, while Ruki preferred to skip the bad parts and only memorize the good times. With Uruha now asking this, it was as if he was indirectly blaming Ruki for forgetting the things they used to do together.

_But it's not my fault that we've drifted apart!_ Ruki grumbled into his mind, while still waiting for an answer. Uruha sighed before he repeated his question.

"Why did you go dye your hair without me?" he repeated, "We used to do this stuff together," Uruha stated, adding the last part in a really quiet whisper, though that didn't really prevent Ruki from hearing it. He, too, was struggling for words to create a decent answer, since he had definitely heard the last part and was cursing himself for being able to read Uruha thoroughly.

"I…" he hesitated, "Hizaki and Toshiya just happened to be planning to dye their hair, and Hizaki told me that blonde fitted me better, so I just… dyed it back to blonde…" he answered quietly, "The bleach was Totchi's idea since he thought it'd make me look more mature…" Ruki fidgeted, feeling Uruha's gaze on him since he had avoided any eye contact, examining his toes.

"Oh," was the only response that the honey-brunette gave, but it sounded to Ruki as if there was something else that Uruha was about to say. The simple 'Oh' somehow sounded rather… between sad and disappointed. It was as if Uruha was expecting Ruki to say something else and after quickly deciding that silence wasn't the most comfortable surrounding they could be in, Ruki spoke up.

"Besides, we all thought that it'd be a nice time killer since we'd be waiting for Teru," he blurted out casually, before realizing what exactly he had just said. His eyes immediately shot up to meet Uruha's confused ones.

"Tero?" the guitarist asked for good measure, hoping that he had heard wrong. Ruki was waiting for the Vidoll guitarist earlier?? Wasn't Tero already with Jui, the possessive vocalist? And didn't Ruki rather dislike Tero for his habits and characteristics?

"Uh no, not Tero," Ruki denied sheepishly, "It's _Teru_, melody guitarist for Versailles… Sound familiar?"

**---**

.Ruki sighed as he stared up at the ceiling of Uruha's bedroom. How did he get himself into this? His explanation about his new found friend received a few glares which finally ended up into a small argument, once again, like always. Then Ruki had, ofcourse, run off to his room to sulk and also focus on a few other background designs for the last few lives before he finally felt hungry and was forced to go outside, where he had dinner alone happily. It was already twelve past ten and his stomach didn't care about the fact that he had just eaten a good five hours ago.

He thought he was safe at the time, not having to face Uruha, and he was taking stuff easy. He had washed his dishes, took his time, and turned around to only face his house mate sauntering inside the kitchen looking heavy-eyed and thirsty. He couldn't avoid asking, ofcourse, being the very curious person he is, but as always, Uruha never gave a straight answer, leaving the conclusion that he just couldn't sleep properly and Ruki merely left it there, shrugging. When he finally turned to leave though, Uruha had just grabbed his arm out of the blue and the next he knew, he was already lying here in Uruha's bed with the older guitarist snuggling up against his smaller body.

_Why did he have to say I'm chiyu-kei to him??_ Ruki pondered as he felt Uruha's soft breathing against his neck, _How does he always know how to make me follow his requests?? Damn him_, the vocalist grumbled, but knew that he couldn't do a single thing about it. (*chiyu-kei; calming/sweet)

He couldn't really sleep though, seeing as he was still very happy about what had happened today with Teru. The guitarist turned out to be a very nice guy who does seem a bit like the old Uruha whom Ruki was so fond of and he was just so sweet and caring… Since Hizaki left the two of them together, Teru admitted as he laughed out loud that Hizaki had 'ordered' him to take Ruki out for the day. He did oblige to the indirect order, though, and took the vocalist around Tokyo on his motorcycle. They spent the next few hours eating, sightseeing and such, before Teru finally decided that it was time for Ruki to go home since it was already nine and that he didn't want Uruha to worry about him. And yes, Ruki had told Teru everything about himself, and vice versa.

"Mmh…" Uruha groaned from beside him, moving slightly to only tighten his embrace around Ruki's petite waist, nuzzling deeper into the crook of his neck, the guitarist's breathing steadier than before. He could clearly hear and feel Uruha breathing into his neck, and somehow, the feeling and knowledge that the guitarist was beside was just so calming, so soothing, that the next thing he knew he was already deep asleep in Slumber Land.

**---**

_A wide field of grass…. trees all around him… as he sat on a stone bench in the garden… in front of a massive building that seemed oddly familiar to him… Why did everything seem so well-known but at the same time long ago and almost forgotten? _Where am I? _Ruki thought as he stayed still on the bench, not daring to move, the hard wind blowing his dirty-blonde bangs into his eyes, obscuring his monocle-framed dark-brown orbs._

"_Taka-chan!!" a voice called from around him, making him turn around to look for the source. A tall, long haired raven was, waving, running towards him with a friendly smile on his face, beaming. Ruki didn't know why, but he automatically stood up at the sight of this raven approaching him, and somehow, he just felt so relieved and happy._

"_Shima-kun," he smiled, "What's up?" sounding as if he knew that it was Uruha all along. The black-haired college-student approached him, placing a hand on his shoulder, looking down before flashing a huge smile, excitedly stating, "There's a new place I wanna take you to!!" and he just took Ruki's hand, dragging him off, and the next thing he knew, he was getting off Uruha's Harley as they arrived at a some kind of circus-festival, which you could only see at least once a year in Tokyo. Ruki was more than happy as Uruha took him there, and was smiling widely as said raven took his wrist and gently dragged him into the crowd._

_Masses of people were everywhere, it was so crowded, he couldn't see anything, he couldn't even see Uruha, but the firm grip around his wrist made him feel slightly as ease, as their steps finally stopped in the middle of the sea of people. Everything was a blur from there; he seemed to be having so much fun with the older male, smiling, laughing, looking at stands, playing games… Then suddenly, they just seemed to have reached a less crowded spot in the circus-festival, where the two were just standing there, laughing, having the time of their lives, when Uruha suddenly patted his shoulder for his attention, gazing off into a distance, as if he had seen something interesting._

"_Stay here," were the only words that escaped his lips before he dashed off into the crowd, chasing whomever he had seen just then, leaving Ruki there alone without a single chance to protest. Ruki felt alone in an instant, and without ever knowing why, he suddenly felt threatened by the crowd around him._

"_Shima-kun!!"_

_Ruki called, turning into every direction, his surroundings seeming to spin around him. Where was he now? Where was Uruha? Everything seemed to threaten him so, he felt small in the masses of people, all he wanted was to get out of here, but he didn't know how! Shima, Shima, Shima… Atsuaki Takashima, where are you?! He felt like he wanted to make a mad dash but he didn't want to risk getting lost and -- everything turned dark. _What is this?!_ Ruki thought as he frantically looked around him, _Where is everyone?! _Why am I…?_

"Gyahhhh!!!!!"

Ruki screamed hysterically, as loud as he could. He took a quick breath and sat up the bed, his sheets falling off his chest and pooled around his waist. Breathing heavily, panting loudly, the chibi vocalist looked around cautiously, frantically. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks… and… he heard somebody whimpering in fear, though that somebody sounded a lot like himself. He just had a nightmare, a _very_ disturbing nightmare, reflecting his messed-up past which he didn't ever want to remember, _ever_! Through his frantic haze, he felt somebody move beside him and groan, though he didn't pay much attention to it. There was something to the last part of the dream, something that bothered him, something that --

"Ruki?" he could feel the person beside move up and wrap an arm around his waist, tugging him closer. The small blonde merely obeyed into the gentle tug as he heavily breathed in and out, letting his weight be supported by Uruha's slightly bigger body. The vocalist was repeatedly screwing his eyes shut to prevent the tears of fear to escape from his dark-brown orbs, but the older one automatically noticed and Uruha held his chin as he stared at him worriedly.

"What happened? Nightmare? Don't cry…" the honey-brunette wrapped both arms around his waist. "I'm here… don't worry…" he whispered rubbing his palm against Ruki's shirt-covered back. The younger male merely nodded as he limply sat in the embrace. What was wrong with him? Why did he have to dream about the past, where he was still happy with Uruha? What did the dream mean?

_Why can't I get him out of my mind?_

**---**

The next morning, everyone in the studio's restroom was quiet, occupied with their own business. The four of them were waiting for their Manager, who had called and gathered them after they've only had the chance to rehearse one song. While waiting, only Reita and Aoi were talking while the other three stayed quiet. Kai's eyes were glued to the papers in his hands, reading over something that appeared to be given to him yesterday. Beside him sat Aoi, who had casually draped an arm over his shoulder while joking around with Reita. On Kai's right sat Uruha and Ruki, who were completely quiet, being oddly peaceful and close. The tall brunette was focused on his guitar, playing a song from their album with a few occasional glances towards Ruki, who was also focused onto the small notebook in his hands. The vocalist was scribbling here and there, Uruha not really able to see what he was doing.

The five of them kept on minding their own business, until their Manager came inside the room and started to explain to them a few more things about their upcoming tour, and about the upcoming date that has recently been changed, _again_, without Kai actually knowing anything. The drummer ofcourse jumped up for a protest, but Ruki didn't seem to hear, nor care. He just kept on drawing more and more backdrop designs, the images being very detailed, and he didn't look up until he was shook out from his daze by a door slamming shut. The next thing he knew, Kai had dragged him up and out of the room, not giving him a chance to protest, leaving the three guitarists in the rest room.

"Another day of rehearsal wasted for nothing," Reita sighed, "I'm going home," he stated, before shouldering his still-cased bass and went out the door, leaving Uruha and Aoi together.

"There he goes…" Uruha sighed before focusing back onto his guitar, though it was rather obvious that his head wasn't in his play. He only seemed to be able to play another few minutes before he finally sighed and turned to Aoi, obviously pouting, making the older one frown.

"What?" he asked cautiously.

"Did you see that dazed look on Ruki's face as he got dragged out?" Uruha immediately asked as if not hearing Aoi's question, and the older guitarist answered with a thinking frown.

"Uh, yeah…?" he replied, sounding hesitant, "I kinda noticed but didn't pay much attention about it," said raven shrugged, "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know," Uruha shrugged, "He had quite a nightmare last night, but he wouldn't tell me about it," the guitarist admitted, sounding rather guilty, and Aoi frowned thoughtfully once again before answering, looking all wise and mature.

"Well, maybe it's got something to do with where he went yesterday? I mean, besides going to paint his hair, ofcourse."

"Uh, no, I don't think so," Uruha frowned, "He said that Toshiya and Hizaki had introduced him to Versailles' _other_ guitarist and they spent the day together. He seemed quite happy when he came home."

"Yeah, but _you_ don't," Aoi commented on Uruha's slightly aggravated-looking face.

"I may not look glad, but that's because there's something else on my mind," he denied it quickly, pouting childishly, and Aoi chuckled rather mockingly.

"And what might _that_ be?" Aoi inquired, feeling curious, though he did have to admit that the answer Uruha gave wasn't exactly the one he was looking for.

"Bou," Uruha stated innocently.

"_Bou_??" Aoi repeated incredulously, "Why would you be thinking about Bou?"

"It's about the lie he told me. I think he's not lying that much, but I'm pretty sure that Kanon's not there for only a simple check-up," Uruha explained, and Aoi nodded as he took in the information.

"So you're saying that Kanon's sick?"

"Yeah…" Uruha mumbled, seemingly thoughtful, before an idea came to mind, "Hey! Could you accompany me to the hospital again today??"

"Huh? Why should I come with you?" Aoi asked with a frown, even though the memory of the paper with Kanon's room number came back to mind. He was wondering whether he should give into Uruha's request this time, but he didn't have time to ponder on it for long as the brunette guitarist spoke up.

"Because you're a great talker!!" Uruha stated happily, "I'm_ sure_ that you can talk the receptionist in into giving us Kanon's room number!!" he smiled widely, "Pleeease?"

**---**

Aoi didn't know what had come into his mind into agreeing with Uruha's crazy idea, but he finally did and he knew that they were not able to turn around and go back as the two guitarists entered the big, white, crowded building. The raven was looking at the white paper in his hand as Uruha dragged him towards the receptionist, where they had to stand in line. After a few minutes of thinking, though, Aoi made up his mind and it was his turn to tug Uruha out of the line and into the many white halls of the hospital, making his own way.

"Hey! Aoi! What --" Uruha tired to protest, but Aoi didn't stop until Uruha yanked his hand out of the older one's grip, both of them stopping in the middle of another white hall. Aoi didn't seem to care, though, as he was focused to the palm of his hand.

"Where are we going?" Uruha demanded, "We're supposed to _ask_ her, not run off by ourselves and get lost into the corridors instead!!"

"Yeah, but I know my way around here. I always take a walk when I'm waiting for my sister…" he trailed off, mumbling to himself, "Tsubaki second ward… second ward… Ah, that way," he said as he looked up, turning a corner and leaving Uruha behind. The brunette immediately followed after the older one, and found him standing in the middle of that hall, another white one similar as the others, looking around for something.

"What is it?" the honey-brunette finally spoke up, also starting to feel curious at Aoi's weird behavior. He was looking up and down, up and down, palm to hall, palm to hall.

"Go look for number eighteen, will you?" Aoi finally spoke up, not looking to the brunette, his eyes still wandering around the halls. But it wouldn't be Uruha if he was willing to do something which reason was unclear without asking.

"Why?"

"Just do what I say," Aoi ordered, "It's Kanon's room num -- Ah! Found it!!" Aoi exclaimed, and he pulled the approaching male towards him, "Go ahead, knock."

"What?"

"Just knock! You wanted to see your long-lost love, no?" he asked, to which Uruha nodded, "Then _knock_!!"

**

* * *

**

**Okay, don't tell me. The ending sucked. But hey, what the heck. R&R please ^^  
**

[To Be Continued]


	6. Uncertainty

Note : Another chapter finished… And now another one to start. This story is starting to get on my nerves sometimes… Well, I hope you guys enjoy this!! **This chapter **(no matter how crappy it is)** is fully dedicated to ****JASMINE YOU****, the late bassist of Versailles who had passed away on the ninth of August. **You'll always live on forever in the hearts of your fans, family and friends. May you rest in peace and finally find eternal happiness.

**---**

"Just do what I say," Aoi ordered, "It's Kanon's room num -- Ah! Found it!!" Aoi exclaimed, and he pulled the approaching male towards him, "Go ahead, knock."

"What?" Uruha blurted out, confused, as he got shoved in front of the white wooden door.

"Just knock! You wanted to see your long-lost love, no?" Aoi asked, to which Uruha nodded confusedly, "Then _knock_!!"

Uruha was still very confused about this, though, and he obviously didn't want to do anything which intentions aren't clear. Finally accepting the fact that his honey-brown friend needs to upload the information into his memory first, Aoi rolled his eyes before reaching over Uruha's shoulder and knocking the door for the guitarist's sake. A few seconds later, the door opened to reveal a long-haired raven woman, who gave a small smile at the sight of the two men standing in front of the hospital door as if they were the persons she had expected to be coming any minute. She didn't seem surprised or startled, she was just…

Emotionless.

"Amaya-neesan?" Uruha exclaimed in a confused way, and Aoi merely took it as the fact that they simply knew each other and that this was maybe Kanon's older sister that Uruha had talked about.

"Shima-kun?" the woman smiled with a rather blank look in her eyes, and her glance moved behind Uruha's shoulder, "Ah, you've brought a friend, I see. Come in," she smiled, and stepped sideways to let the two in. The guitarists cautiously made their way inside to find Bou sitting beside Kanon, holding his hand as the two laughed about something.

"The others have just left," she informed the two, "But Bou-kun simply refuses to leave Shin's side. It's sweet, really," the woman sighed, totally ignoring Kanon and Bou's sudden stare directed towards her and the two men tailing behind her. Her steps halted in front of Kanon's bed, but by then, Uruha was the only one following her. Aoi had stopped a while ago, when they were passing a lone chair, and had flopped down, legs and arms crossed, without a single word.

"Well, here he is," she smiled to Uruha before turning to her little brother, "Ototou-chan, you've got a special visitor," before ruffling Kanon's raven hair and walking off towards the door. Unlike usual, Kanon's older sister seemed to be lost in her own world with a very rare dreamy look in her eyes. Uruha had noticed that there was something wrong with her, but he didn't realize anything up until now.

"Amaya-neechan, where're you going?" Bou spoke up, getting to his feet alertly, and the black-haired woman turned with a somehow lazy but stern gaze.

"I'm going to look for Tatsuya and take him home. The twins are probably waiting for me," she explained, "Would you please accompany me, Bou-kun?" she requested with the same dreamy voice, but it was obvious that it was more of an indirect order. The blonde girlish guitarist could feel it and he nodded before turning to Kanon.

"Hey, I'm going for awhile, alright?" he smiled, "I promise I won't be long," Bou said reassuringly before leaning down a giving Kanon a peck on his forehead. The bassist just nodded and gave him a small smile, watching him leave. At the sight of Bou trotting off, and also quite catching up to the intentions of Kanon's older sister, Aoi also stood up and dusted off his jeans.

"Well, I'd better get going too," he said, "I'd like to see Kanon's younger brother if it's okay with you, Amaya-san," he requested, and Amaya merely gave him a smile before disappearing out the door, Bou tailing behind her.

Aoi took the smile as a "yes" and sauntered over to the door, walking past Uruha, but stopped when the honey-brown gripped his upper-arm firmly, a begging look in his eyes. Aoi frowned back, getting the hint that Uruha needed him there for support, but the raven guitarist knew that it would be completely unethical to be a third wheel in this.

"You'll do fine," Aoi said reassuringly, walking out as soon as Uruha's grip slackened around his arm. He knew Kanon saw that and he didn't want to give the bassist any ideas.

**---**

Ruki groaned tiredly as he flopped down on his couch in the livingroom, feeling very angry at himself for the moment. Why in the world had he spaced out when the Producer was talking and gotten himself yelled at?! Luckily Kai had stood up for him at the meeting, or else he didn't know what could've happened.

_Why had Uruha had to disappear, as well??_ the vocalist fumed, more to himself, as he leaned his head on the couch's leaning, staring at the ceiling, _Luckily I had Kai to bring me home,_ he finally sighed. Ruki was feeling very frustrated, but also rather disappointed. The whole disappearing thing was something strange to the vocalist. Uruha didn't even text him. When he and Kai was finished and had reached the rest room, the two had found it empty. It only took a few minutes for Kai to remember that he had received a message from Aoi, and when he read it, he announced out loud with an annoyed chuckle that both his boyfriend and the honey-brunette guitarist had gone off together to the hospital, once again. It was an excuse that Kai didn't easily bought, but Ruki had simply shrugged it off.

He knew that the excuse about going to the hospital wasn't a lie at all; Uruha was a bad liar and Aoi would never dare lie to Kai. Ruki just didn't know why the two have to go there so often. No wonder Kai had felt jealous towards Ruki's guardian angel… Both guitarists have their chemistry really going, and even though Ruki knew Aoi wouldn't trade Kai for anything in the world, seeing your boyfriend going out together with his best friend, realizing that they'd look cute as a couple -- and get mistaken for one very often, too -- would really add up to your worries.

_-drrt… drrt… drrt…-_

_What the…?_ Ruki thought as he heard the cellphone vibration coming from somewhere inside the room, somewhere close to him, and fished out his keitai from his back pocket as he realized that he was actually sitting on said vibrating object. As if it was a bad habit of his, Ruki flipped open the phone without even bothering to look at the caller ID and spoke into the receiver.

"Moshi-moshi?"

"Moshi-moshi, Ru-kun," a sweet voice replied from the other end, and Ruki frowned at the voice. It seemed familiar, but he couldn't place his finger on it.

"Hold on," Ruki mumbled before taking the gadget off his ear and checked the caller ID, noticing that it was Teru. Cheering up instantly, the blonde smiled and talked again, "Ah, Teru-kun. What is it?"

"Nothing really," Teru answered rather shyly, "I just wanted to hang out with you today, if that's fine with you," he added, and Ruki grinned as he remembered where he had heard _that_ statement before.

"Did Hizaki-hime tell you to?" Ruki asked in a playful manner, though he honestly did feel a bit suspicious, and Teru chuckled at the other end.

"No, surprisingly he didn't. I just wanted to get to know you better," he answered, before sighing, "Besides, I'm feeling seriously bored at home because Yuki and Jasmine are making out in his room and I'm left out," he sighed, before adding in hesitantly, "Um, I didn't think that sounded right, did it…?"

"No, no it didn't at all," Ruki laughed, "You sounded like… well, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Ruki could hear Teru shudder at the other end, "But anyways, do you want to go out, then? You're finished with rehearsal, aren't you?"

"Well yeah, I am," the vocalist answered rather hesitantly, "I'm already home, actually."

"Home already?" Teru asked, sounding rather surprised, and Ruki shrugged.

"Yeah, Kai planned the rehearsal two hours earlier than usual and since there was a… _small_ problem, we ended up going home before we did all of the songs," the chibi blonde explained, and he could hear Teru's thoughtful voice at the other end, thinking.

"Aa, sou ka…" he mumbled, "Hm, then I guess it'd be hard to drag you out of your house then. Usually people get lazy when they've reached home and all they wanna do is sleep?"

"Well, not really," Ruki sighed, "I'm feeling rather bored and stressed out, too, so I guess hanging with you won't really be a bad thing."

"Hmm, are you sure?"

"Quite positive."

"Alright then, so I guess I'll just pick you up in about…" Teru trailed off, "A half an hour? Or maybe in fifteen minutes, if the traffic's not that bad," he informed, and Ruki merely smiled.

"Okay, I'll wait up for you. See you,"

"Un, see you," Teru agreed, and he hung up.

After the call, Ruki placed his phone on the coffee table in front of him and smiled broadly with glee. He didn't know why he felt like this, so happy and overjoyed, ecstatic and thrilled, and any other synonyms that those words might have. Maybe he was just glad that there was finally a person that really seemed to care, and the fact that Teru is single does _not_ have anything to do with it…

Does it?

**---**

Uruha sighed as he exited Kanon's hospital room and out into the hall, eyes focused to the floor. His conversation with the raven AnCafe bassist went quite okay, though he wouldn't exactly call it perfect, either. It was rather a failure for him, to be honest, because he didn't really get any real information from the whole thing. Kanon's excuse for not telling him anything was because he didn't want to worry him, or add up to Uruha's burdens.

Kanon did admit, though, that he had already been sick for quite a long time. Uruha had tried to find out about the amount of time his kouhai has left, though, but the bassist won't tell him anything. It also turned out that those times when Kanon had been able to get out and meet Uruha was because the doctor allowed him to, but only once in a while.

It was all according to schedule.

"Hey, you okay?" a familiar voice spoke up, and Uruha could feel someone's presence beside him. He didn't bother to look up, though, and he didn't answer, either. He felt that someone -- whom he was sure was Aoi -- put a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

"What did he say?" Aoi asked again, voice softer this time, but Uruha just refused to answer. He felt deceived and rather hurt. Okay, so it wasn't as if Uruha would go out and spread the news to the world if _he_ had cancer and worry everyone around him, but he would at least break the news to his band mates, family, and the people he cared for. He wouldn't lie to or keep it from them.

"Let's just go home… Please?" he voiced out quietly, and Aoi seemed to take the hint as he sighed and put an arm around Uruha's shoulder, guiding him out. The honey-brunette could hear Aoi say a few goodbyes to Amaya, Bou and Tatsuya as they passed them, but he didn't pay much attention to it. He just kept his eyes focused on the floor, letting himself be guided by his senpai out of the building. Uruha was so unfocused; the next thing he knew was that they were in his car, with a driving Aoi shaking his shoulder to get his attention.

"Uruha!! Oi!!"

"Sorry, what?" Uruha quickly apologized as he got out of his daydream, turning to face Aoi, who had his eyes back to the road.

"I said, where are we going?" Aoi repeated his former question, "Do you want to go home immediately?" he asked, and Uruha sighed, averting his gaze to the window in front of him, thinking.

"Uru?"

"No. I… I don't think I can face Ruki right now," the honey-brunette finally sighed, and Aoi frowned at the statement, glancing at his kouhai.

"Ruki?" he repeated incredulously, "What does Ruki have to do with anything?"

"I'll… tell you later," Uruha answered elusively, "Look, could you please accompany me again? It won't be long, I promise?" the guitarist slightly begged, and Aoi shook his head as he let out a puff of air. He knew that Uruha really needed someone right now, but he was also thinking about Kai at home. It was already bad enough that he had left earlier with only a text message, but knowing Uruha, the brunette was rather impulsive and…

"Okay, fine. Where'd you wanna go?" he sighed, and Uruha gave a small, relieved smile.

A few minutes later, the two found themselves sitting by one of the tables inside one of Uruha's favorite spots; Blood Orchid or more known as Burukido. They've only been there for fifteen minutes but Uruha was already half-way his third glass while Aoi was just busy sipping his first.

"He told me to go on with life and forget him," Uruha sighed as he cradled his head in his hands, continuing his explanation, "I don't think I could possibly do that, I mean, he's just…" the honey-brunette trailed off, before sighing and looking into Aoi's eyes.

"And you know what's so weird about this?" he asked, not really wanting his question to be answered, "I can't stop thinking about Ruki. Every time I think about Kanon in the hospital, my mind just can't help to reel back to Ruki and worry about him."

"But what does Ruki have to do with all this?" Aoi asked, now sensing that Uruha hadn't been entirely honest to him about the whole thing.

"I don't know," Uruha sighed frustratingly, "I guess I just don't want Ruki to end up like Kanon…"

"How so?"

"Well, Kanon said that his leukemia first started off with stress overload and anemia, and since Ruki has anemia right now…" Uruha trailed off, "And you _know_ how easily Ruki can get worried, and I just don't want him to… Because of me…" and the honey-brunette screwed his eyes shut, "I just don't wanna lose Ruki too."

Aoi though, merely stayed quiet at the confession. Okay, so he was a bit surprised when Uruha had casually told him that Ruki had anemia and had actually wanted to get angry and demand why the guitarist hadn't told him anything before, but then he realized that this whole Ruki-Kanon problem had been in the air for quite a while and that Uruha's being rather depressed at the moment. So, deciding to put the thought aside for just this time, Aoi started thinking about something else that Uruha had said. He had just admitted -- well, in a way -- that he cared a damn lot about Ruki and didn't want to lose him.

_What did_ that_ mean?_ Aoi pondered as he kept an eye on the younger drinking male in front of him, _So Uruha's been possessive and protective over Ruki because he's worried… But aren't the reactions just a tiny bit over the top? Have my suspicions been right, and there's something else that he's not telling me, or does he simply not realize what's been going on with himself? Knowing Uruha, he wouldn't really realize his own feelings…_ Aoi concluded,_ I think he's torn between two hearts._

"You know what?" Uruha suddenly spoke up, "I think I've just had enough," he exclaimed, and that statement made Aoi worry for a moment, "I don't wanna show up drunk in front of Ruki." Aoi sighed in a relieved manner, though, when he realized that all Uruha meant was that he had enough of his drinks and stood up. Aoi then quickly downed his glass and followed the brunette out the door.

**---**

As the two were busy getting inside of Uruha's car and driving towards Aoi's place, Ruki had just arrived home and was laughing amusedly as he got off Teru's Vixion. The two of them had only spent somewhere around four hours together, but it was fun enough for the two of them. It was only four p.m. but Teru insisted on taking Ruki home before Uruha could get mad at him. The vocalist merely agreed and now here they were, in front of the building where Ruki and Uruha lived.

"Thanks for today," Ruki smiled as he stood by the silver-haired guitarist's bike, "It really took my mind off of things."

"Ah nah, I should be the one thanking you," Teru declined as he shook his head with a chuckle, "If you didn't agree earlier, I bet I'm stuck at home right now, doomed to listen to Yuki and Jasmine doing their deeds," he shuddered, "Utterly and completely horrifying. Ugh," and Ruki laughed out loud.

"Well why don't you suggest for him to move out?" Ruki suggested, and Teru chuckled, shaking his head.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no," he smiled, "Suggesting Jas to move out and get Yuki to sic Kamijo on me is _not_ a very good idea, Ru-kun," Teru brushed a stray strand of hair away, "Yuki and Kamijo-sama live together, you see," the guitarist added in after noticing Ruki's frown, and the chibi blonde nodded after understanding, "Ever since Toshiya moved in together with Hiza, Jas decided to stay with me since we're really close. He's not so close to Kamijo; the guy kinda freaks him out actually."

"Really?"

"Yup."

The vocalist didn't exactly get what was so wrong with Kamijo since he seemed to look like a nice guy, but after listening to his band member's indirect bad opinions about him… Maybe Ruki should really watch his back towards the older vocalist.

"Oh, okay," Ruki frowned, "So… let me get this straight… Hizaki and Jasmine _used_ to live together?"

"Mochiron," Teru nodded with a smile, "They're the best of friends. Soulmates. Even though the three of us are close, those two are more… I dunno, _made_ for each other," the silver-haired guitarist explained, and Ruki chuckled to himself as he saw a very strong resemblance in the relationship that Teru had with his friends and the relationship he himself had with Uruha and Reita.

_A rhythm guitarist with a bassist, soulmates and made for each other…_ he grinned, _Sounds really familiar…_

"But anyways, I'd rather be stuck with Jas and his obsessions, he's a much nicer guy than Kamijo-sama! That guy can drive anybody nuts…" Teru mumbled, continuing, and Ruki's head perked up as he got out of his daydream, curious at the new piece of information.

"Wait, obsessions?" the chibi repeated, and Teru shrugged.

"Yeah, Jas is obsessed with flowers; their fragrances and pictures. The images are all over his walls and he's got a new flower fragrance every week," the melody guitarist informed him, "His favorite is jasmine, though, and that smell could sometimes be hanging around his room for over a week; a month is even possible," the silver-haired shuddered, "It's as if he's trying to invite the dead with it."

"Really?" Ruki blinked, "No wonder his stage name is Jasmine… He's really… Infatuated by it, ne?"

"A disturbing fetish is more like it," Teru sighed, and the two of them laughed, when the sound of a humming car suddenly approached them and came closer. Curious, the two turned to the source of the sound and watched, with a rather clueless look on their faces as a blue Honda Jazz slowly came to a halt in front of Teru's Vixion, the sound of the engine dying in a few seconds. As the door opened, the silver-haired guitarist started to have a dreadful hunch about who the owner of the vehicle was, and his instincts soon proved to be right as a mass of long honey-brown hair showed up from inside the car.

Ruki's eyes grew as he saw his guardian angel step out of his car; close the door behind him, and meeting his eyes. The vocalist practically froze on the spot as their orbs met, and Ruki's heart was thumping in his chest when the tall guitarist suddenly strolled over non-chalantly towards the two standing near the motorcycle, both anticipating anything that was about to come.

"So…" Uruha started as he stood beside Ruki, "You must be Teru, huh? Ruki's new friend?" he asked with a smile that was barely even there as he stuffed his hands in his backpockets, "Where'd you guys meet?"

"Ah, Hiza-kun introduced us," Teru answered with a nervous smile, kind of shocked at the very straightforward question, "We bumped into each other at L'Ciel."

"L'Ciel, huh? I see," Uruha hummed, "And you are Versailles'…" the taller guitarist trailed off, "Lead guitarist, aren't you?" he inquired, "The melodist?"

"Um, yeah, that kinda says it," Teru nodded, now feeling rather uncomfortable with the stare that Uruha was kind of giving him, and Ruki saw it. The vocalist then looped his arm around Uruha's, catching the older one's attention and indirectly giving his guardian angel a cute, some kind of warning-glare, to quit whatever he might be doing at the moment. Uruha merely looked down at the younger one, eyebrows raised, before he finally shrugged as he got Ruki's message. Seeing that this was now his time to escape for safety, Teru cut in their silent conversation.

"Um, Uruha-san, I think I have to go, I don't want Jasmine to go looking for me," he excused, "I'm going, ne, Ru-kun? Ja," he smiled, putting on his helmet and putting the shield back in place.

Uruha merely nodded in approval while Ruki gave a mega-watt smile and waved Teru off as he started his engine and revved off. The two watched the guitarist leave, still arm-in-arm, before Uruha finally sighed and turned around, walking back to the house as he half-dragged Ruki behind him, who merely allowed himself to be dragged away.

The two got inside and took off their shoes, with Ruki closing the door as Uruha immediately trudged off into the livingroom and dropped his body onto the couch, letting out a heavy sigh.

Ruki, though, felt rather curious and sauntered over towards the furniture where his guardian angel had laid upon and peered over the top of the couch's leaning as he hid half of his face in the tangle of arms his head was resting upon. Only his eyes and hair could be seen clearly and Ruki looked like a blonde puffball with eyes. Uruha finally sensed the curious gaze his little friend had bestowed upon him and he cracked his eyes open as he peered right up towards the pair of curious brown lenses.

"What?" Uruha groaned out, feeling rather tired, and Ruki seemed to be hesitating before answering.

"Aren't you mad at me?" he asked, and Uruha frowned for a minute before chuckling at the cutely innocent question and covering his eyes with his arm, answering with an idle tone.

"Why the hell would I be mad at _you_?" the older guitarist asked back, ridiculing Ruki's question. The vocalist immediately pouted at the mockery and walked over to the front side of the couch, flopping right beside the honey-brunette's legs.

"Because you were the one protesting against me going out with other people," Ruki answered bluntly, "I mean, look at your reaction with Totchi and Hiza!!"

"Well, I have a very good reason to suspect _those_ two," Uruha sighed, "But I don't think I'd mind Teru," he shrugged, "I like that kid."

"Kid? He's older than you, Uru," Ruki stated, but Uruha merely shrugged again and sat up, ruffled the chibi's new hair with a small tired smile, and got onto his feet. The guitarist made his way to his room without a last single word to Ruki, and that just got the blonde more confused. He had practically forgotten that he was supposed to be angry at Uruha and was now purely curious. The older male seemed strangely quiet, and somehow happy and sorrowful at the same time.

Finally deciding that he didn't have any business in it, though, Ruki decided to put it somewhere in the back of his mind and let Uruha tell him himself when he was ready. Okay, so it wasn't very like him, the vocalist would usually prod around until he had gotten the answers he wanted, but Ruki was just feeling really happy at the moment and he didn't wanna think about anything else right now. With his head still rather in the clouds, Ruki marched off to the kitchen to eat by himself and then take his blood-tablets before retreating to his room and planning for the 3-month tour that they had ahead of them in four days.

**---**

Five hours later, the clock had struck ten and Uruha had come out from his room to eat. He was starting to feel hungry and he couldn't sleep, either. He had been practicing on his part in Shiroki Yuuutsu but he couldn't get a few parts right, even though he had been on it for more than eight times in a row. He had assumed that it was probably Kanon's problem still lingering in his head that was the cause for his lack of concentration and had so decided to cool his head and get out, finding something to eat.

He had spotted the TV on as soon as he got out of the hall and into the livingroom, and had discovered a very interested Ruki lying on the couch with his eyes to the screen as he peeked over the furniture. He merely smiled to himself and went to the kitchen to continue on his former intentions and spent a total fifteen minutes to eat and wash the dishes before sauntering back to the livingroom and casually sitting beside the vocalist who didn't even really seem to care much. As usual, the chibi was following his favorite TV show "Prison Break" which only aired at night. Uruha knew that it should end somewhere around ten thirty and since it was half an hour later, the guitarist stayed put and made himself comfortable instead, leaning into the couch and crossing his arms, even though his eyes had started to feel quite heavy.

Throughout the movie, Uruha's head had already lolled down for more than seven times before he woke up with a start, and Ruki had noticed even though he pretended not to. When it ended, though, Uruha already had his head on Ruki's shoulder, using it as a pillow as he slept. As the post-movie commercial started, the chibi blonde turned to his friend and confirmed his suspicions that Uruha was indeed very sleepy; the guitarist was off to slumber land. Ruki gently reached out to touch his cheek and cupped it in his hand as he gently shook him awake.

"Uru? Uruha-kun, wake up," he whispered, and he patiently waited when Uruha fluttered his lashes and slowly opened his eyes with a dazed look in those beautiful mahogany-brown eyes, which looked up to meet Ruki's questioningly a few seconds after.

"Awake much?" the chibi asked skeptically, and didn't wait for an answer as he stood up and reached out a hand to the still-dazed older Gemini male. Uruha took it after a few moments of hesitation and Ruki helped him up before the two walked together to the halls and headed for the rooms, the vocalist having already turned off the television. When they reached their rooms doors, Ruki moved to part ways but was brought to a halt when Uruha's hand suddenly closed in around his upper arm; he turned with a frown.

"Nanda, Uruha-kun?" he asked, trying to be as calm as possible and trying not to let the curiousness show, "It's already late, I wanna rest."

"Un, wakatteru, demo…" Uruha trailed off, seemingly hesitating to speak out whatever that it was occupying his mind. He seemed to be thinking rather hard, and Ruki finally turned fully towards the older male, his arm still in Uruha's hand. He was demanding an answer by raising his eyebrows, but he kept on waiting patiently. Seconds passed, and Ruki was about to just give up and go to sleep when the taller guitarist suddenly tugged at his arm and dragged him inside his room. Ruki was too surprised to even protest and when he realized what just had happened to him, he was already inside the honey-brown's room.

By reflex, the vocalist immediately stopped in his tracks and forcefully claimed his arm back, making Uruha let go by surprise and turn around. After a few seconds of realization, Uruha averted his gaze and examined his toes.

"Gomen ne," he apologized quietly, refusing to directly face Ruki. It wasn't as if he meant it to look like as if he was forcing Ruki into his room or anything, but it was just that he simply couldn't sleep if Ruki wasn't there. The problem was, Uruha wasn't exactly that good at expressing his emotions or getting across what he wants to other people, and it was usually Reita helping him out. But then again, his nosebanded best friend wasn't there at the moment, now was he?

Ruki on the other hand, understood perfectly what Uruha wanted. He was just confused as to why the guitarist had to do it this way. It was cute, in a way. With a sigh and a small smile, Ruki shook his head and turned around, heading to get out of the room. Uruha, who was earlier still looking at the floor, realized that Ruki was walking away from him and his head immediately snapped up in confusion. He wasn't confused about why Ruki left; he was confused about how to make Ruki stay. Just about when he was to open his mouth and say the first thing on his mind, the chibi blonde stopped right at his door way and looked over his shoulder.

"Just go to sleep," he chuckled, "I'll be back in five minutes," and the blonde disappeared out the door, leaving the taller male standing baffled in the middle of the room for a few seconds before registering in his head that Ruki was actually going to come back. For once in his life, Uruha was glad that Ruki could read him better than anyone else. Excluding Reita, ofcourse, but they've friends for so long it's like they're married to each other.

**---**

Uruha woke up to the sound of the front door being knocked a few times, before hearing the sound of a key being inserted into the lock. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was, though, the sight of Ruki's back and it immediately clicked into his memory that he had fallen asleep while holding the chibi vocalist. With the memories of last night coming back to him, Uruha had the sudden urge to just stay in bed and cuddle Ruki there whether the vocalist liked it or not, but the sound of the being opened and footsteps entering the hall outside took him out of his daydream. Suddenly being very awake, he let go of his embrace and got out of the bed, deciding to check on who had just entered his house, though he already had a hunch.

Ruffling up his own hair, Uruha walked out into the hall and immediately spotted a mass of dirty-blonde hair that belonged to a masculine guy in a sleeveless shirt and baggy jeans. As Reita was untying his shoes, his honey-brunette friend walked into the livingroom and sat on the couch's leaning, staring at him. The bassist could already feel his presence, though, and wasn't very surprised when he looked up and spotted Uruha there.

"What took you so long?" the bassist commented, "I even had to let myself in."

"You used to live here, anyways, you even have the keys, so it shouldn't be problem, now, should it?" Uruha replied, high-fiving the bassist as he approached and giving him a small hug with one arm as Reita did the same. It was something they usually did since Highschool and it had become some sort of a tradition. They just didn't do it as often as they used to anymore.

"What else except boredom that brought you here, Reita-kun?" Uruha opened up the conversation, and Reita shrugged.

"Well, Miyavi's not home…" he answered vaguely, to which his friend stared.

"Which is inside the 'bored' category," Uruha stated bluntly, and Reita sighed.

"And Aoi kinda talked to me last night, and I wanted to talk the subject over with Ruki," the bassist admitted, and Uruha raised an eyebrow.

"About what?"

"Everything," Reita shrugged nonchalantly, "Kanon, his leukemia, your possessiveness towards Ruki --"

"I am _not_," Uruha cut in, but Reita glared and continued as if nothing happened.

"-- _Yes_ you _are_ -- and also about where you guys had went off to yesterday," he finished, "You and Aoi visited Kanon, right?" he received a nod, "Did you tell Ruki yet?"

"No, I had too much on my mind last night and I --" Uruha paused to yawn, "-- I'm still kinda tired right now. I was thinking about the 3-month tour and I wondered what I could do with Kanon before I go… I feel really bad about leaving him…"

"A guilty conscience?"

"No, just a concern for stress overload," Uruha stated, "Besides, I'm going to the hospital today to stay with him until tomorrow morning."

"'Him' who? Kanon?" Reita asked as he got off the track of the conversation, and the taller Gemini male answered with a tired look.

"No, _Ruki_," he answered, annoyed, receiving a surprised stared from Reita before continuing, "_Ofcourse_ it's Kanon, who else is in the hospital??"

"Okay, okay, sorry," the bassist apologized, sighing, "But why would you have to stay the night there for? The tour's in three days and you'll need all the energy you can get," he stated.

"Well, yeah, I know, it's just that… I just don't feel right about this whole tour…" Uruha admitted, trailing off, and his uneasiness and hesitation immediately surfaced. Seeing this, Reita knew that there was something that the brunette was hiding, and he knew he had to find out what it is.

"Why?"

"Never mind…" Uruha sighed, indirectly refusing to answer, "I just need you to look after Ru while I'm gone…" he trailed off, and the conversation changed direction as Uruha yawned hugely once again, and he rubbed his eyes in the process, seemingly very tired.

"Ofcourse I will," Reita said reassuringly before commenting on Uruha's huge yawn, "You slept late, didn't you?" Reita asked, half-accusing as he walked around the couch and flopped on it, Uruha copying him and doing the same, answering through another huge yawn.

"I -- haaaah -- I've been working on Without a Trace last night but couldn't get the intro right; while that part practically the on I master the most!! I've just been busy with the whole thing. Not to mention Shiroki Yuuutsu; Aoi makes complicated music. I'm also still working on the right instrument for the Without a Trace."

"Haven't you already _decided_ on the right instrument?" Reita frowned, "What is there to work on?? All you have to do is rehearse."

"Well, yeah, but I figured that maybe I should use something else… Like Aoi's double-neck or something? I mean, what if he still refuses to play the song up until the tour?"

"Oh come on, that's impossible," Reita scoffed, "It's a _tour_ Uru-kun, what'll he do on stage if he refuses to play? Blow kisses to fangirls through the whole song?" he chuckled, "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

"But Rei…" Uruha tried, but Reita gave him a look that clearly told him to shut up.

"Look, everything's fine the way it is," he sighed, "Just don't worry about the instruments; we've got that covered days before, okay? Aoi'll soon give into playing it anyway; DIM is practically Ruki's first album that he made himself. You don't seriously think that he'll have the heart to disappoint Ru-chan, now, do you?" the bassist tried to reason with the honey-brunette, "Besides, you've taught Aoi how to play his parts and you know he'll do it well; it'll be awesome!! So don't fret," and Uruha sighed in defeat. Seeing that his job of persuading was done, Reita moved on to his next target and spoke up, "So, where's Ruki?"

"He's still sleeping," Uruha sighed as he got up to his feet, "But he must be waking up by now. Just go and see him," and Uruha started to walk off to the kitchen, "I'm going to make a few sandwiches. Want some?"

"No thanks, I dread your cooking," Reita joked as he watched his friend disappear into the kitchen, giving him the finger over his shoulder as he walked away and finally stood up himself and walked towards the hall, heading for Ruki's room. When he opened the door, though, he found the bed still completely neat and empty and frowned. Confused, Reita walked back to the kitchen to catch Uruha stuffing a plate of bread into the microwave and leaned onto the doorsill.

"Ne, Uru-kun?" he spoke up from the doorway, making Uruha slightly jump and turn, "Where's Ruki? I thought you said that he was sleeping," and the guitarist frowned at the statement.

"Well where did you look?" he asked, and the microwave pinged exactly after he had finished his sentence. He had apparently set it for only a few seconds, just to heat it up a bit, and fumbled with the microwave door and the plate, "He's sleeping in my room, not in his."

Reita gaped at the statement, "What's he doing in _your_ room?"

"Sleeping. Duh," Uruha answered bluntly, but Reita gave him a very stern I-know-what-you-did-look, and crossed his arms as he demanded an answer.

"Yeah I know," he spat back, "But what _kind_ of sleeping?" and it took Uruha a few seconds of frowning and confusion before realizing what his friend was talking about and he immediately made a move to an empty glass near him on the counter, taking it in his hand and he raised it high as if he was going to throw it to Reita, who immediately covered himself with his hands, even though he knew that his honey-brunette friend would never had the heart to really injure him.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, you perv," Uruha half-glared as he put the glass back down and fully turned his back so that his childhood friend couldn't see his face, "Just go check on him, I'm sure he's there."

With a last frown and realization that his honey-brown friend was simply too busy with his sandwiches to care, Reita sighed and turned around, heading for his chibi vocalist who happened to be in his guitarist's room. Peeking through the door, he soon found Uruha to be correct and saw Ruki sitting up and ruffling his hair as he cutely yawned broadly, before immediately shutting his mouth as he realized that there was someone by the door looking at him.

"Reita-kun?" he piped up adorably, lips pursed and eyebrows raised, though he smiled when Reita did too and answered his indirect question.

"Ohayo ne, sunshine," Reita grinned, and Ruki smiled lazily back as he yawned once again and stretched his body. As the bassist was enjoying himself by staring at the human incarnation of chibi-ness, Uruha walked up to him in the hall, holding a plate in one of his hands with a half-bitten sandwich in the other.

"Found him?" he asked after he swallowed, "Told you he's in my room," but Reita merely shrugged and watched as Ruki sleepily threw the blankets off his body and sat on the edge of the bed, revealing his pale thighs as his oversized tee only managed to cover up his torso and half of his shoulder; it was so big it kept on falling to one side of his shoulder and revealing the pale skin underneath completely. Reita grinned.

"Nice legs," he mumbled out of the blue, making both of his best friends look up to him with a very confused look.

"Huh?" Ruki looked up with huge eyes, "Nice _what_??" confusion shown clearly. Uruha eyed his best friend too, with a small confused, "You just said…?"

Was he talking to Ruki or was he talking to Uruha? Reita hardly ever complements Uruha's legs because they were both males and also because he's seen them for way a longer time than any of the other members and wasn't as impressed, but Reita isn't exactly one to comment about _Ruki's_ legs, either.

Finally noting the weird looks both of his friends gave him, though, Reita sighed and defended himself, "Hey, I was talking to _Ruki_, not _you_," he said to Uruha, and at hearing that, the guitarist chuckled as Ruki's face turned red inside the room. The vocalist immediately stood up, making the tee fall down and cover his legs as he blushed furiously and mumbled, "Pervert," while walking over towards the two standing by the door.

**---**

A few hours later, after having breakfast and taking showers and talking and laughing with each other in the livingroom, Uruha finally excused himself and went off to the hospital, telling both of his blonde friends that he was going to stay over at Kanon's hospital room. Ruki had seemed very confused at the statement, but Reita had embraced his shoulder with a huge smile and answered for him, saying that it was all fine and that Uruha could go without a worry. When the guitarist was finally gone, though, Ruki stared at Reita with a stern look that demanded answers. After ushering the little blonde onto the couch and explaining to him everything that he knew, his younger friend was left speechless.

"And… His leukemia is _how_ bad exactly?" Ruki finally spoke up after a few minutes of silence, and Reita shrugged.

"Aoi didn't tell me. He just said that Kanon also had anemia before all this, and that he had been a sitting duck for stress, seeing his personality," he sighed, "So I say that you should just take it easy on Uruha; he's only worried about you. You'll only have to keep it up until Kanon gets better," he trailed off, "_If_ he gets better, that is," he added in the end, receiving a sharp glare from Ruki as an immediate result.

"Don't say that!! You're practically wishing for his death if you do!!" the chibi snapped, and Reita grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his head apologetically.

At the moment, though, Ruki and Reita weren't the only ones being curious and thinking stuff out together; their taller Kanagawa friend was also curious about something and he wasn't able to figure it out by himself. After finally deciding that he needed some serious advice, the guitarist sighed and had tried calling Aoi for somewhere around two times now, and he was now on his third call. The line had been beeping for over nine times, before it finally connected to the other end and a rather light voice answered kind of sleepily.

"Moshi-moshi…?" the voice that belonged to Kai spoke up, and Uruha glanced at the clock -- which showed eleven a.m. -- with a curious frown before replying also.

"Ah, hai, moshi-moshi… Kai-kun?"

"Un, doushite no, Uruha-san?" Kai confirmed, a huge yawn audible on the other side, and Uruha let out a heavy sigh before continuing. He had called to Aoi's number, and if Kai was the one who picked up…

"Ah, nani mo nai…" Uruha said sheepishly as he turned left by the red light, "Ano, is uh… Ao-kun there?" he requested, and he inwardly palm-faced himself as he realized he had made a blunder. Why the hell did he _have_ to call Aoi with _that_ suffix?! He had promised himself not to call the older male like that anymore ever since Kai and Aoi had a fight just because of his closeness with the melody guitarist. He ofcourse noticed the awkward silence that Kai gave before answering, and hoped that the drummer didn't take it to heart.

At the other end of the line, though, Kai _was_ actually starting to get a little jealous, remembering an old problem, but he forced himself to stay calm and think on the positive side before answering. Beside him on the bed, Aoi has just stirred out of his sleep and was cracking open a sleepy eye at the sound of the drummer taking a call.

"Um, yeah… He's here," Kai answered, a small plan suddenly forming into his mind. Aoi, who recognized that slightly evil stare, sat up after a huge yawn and scooted closer towards his sweet lover and pulled Kai's naked back to his uncovered broad chest. Kai merely leaned in as he continued talking to Uruha, ignoring the curious stare that Aoi was giving him non-stop.

"Then… Uh… Can I talk to him, then?" Uruha asked, sounding rather hesitant, and Kai stifled a giggle -- which didn't go unnoticed by Aoi -- before he replied rather coolly.

"Well… yea -- no," the drummer changed his answer quickly, and on purpose, laughing to himself inwardly as Aoi slowly started to realize what Kai was up to and decided to ignore the conversation and focus on the raven's neck instead. The Scorpio male automatically gave him more access as he tilted his head sideways, listening to Uruha's rather confused voice at the other end.

"Huh? Why -- Damn it!!" Uruha suddenly cursed, making Kai startle a bit, "Sorry, I almost ran a girl over," the guitarist quickly apologized, sounding slightly relieved but also annoyed at the same time, making Aoi slightly chuckle as he nibbled on Kai's smooth skin, "So yeah, uh, why can't I talk to him?" the honey-brown guitarist asked, almost dreading the answer, and Kai knew it as he stifled another devilish giggle.

"Well…" Kai trailed off, "He's still sleeping actually… He was kinda busy with me last night and, uh, didn't get much sleep."

"Busy??" Uruha's ridiculed voice rang through, "With _what_??" the guitarist blurted out, before immediately adding, "No wait, I can answer that myself," he mumbled, "Okay, fine, I don't wanna know what you've done to make him _that_ tired, but could you at least tell him that I called when he wakes up?"

"Ofcourse, Uruha-kun," Kai smiled devilishly, making Aoi look at him with a frown when said Aquarius heard the familiar name, "If I remember," he added in suddenly, and held in a chuckle as Aoi started to stare at him, slightly demanding for the phone, which Kai merely brushed off with another glare.

"You're so evil sometimes, Kai-kun," Uruha sighed, "I had always thought that you were as nice as an angel… But know I -- DAMN THAT CAT!!" and the two ravens could hear him curse slightly again, mumbling about a stray cat that he -- again -- had almost ran over. Aoi was now only holding Kai and he kept on staring at the drummer curiously, but the latter had simply ignored it and focused on Uruha instead.

"Well, even angels have a dark side sometimes, Uruha-kun," he grinned, "Well, I guess I gotta hang up now; Aoi's waking up!" he ended the conversation cheerily, "Ja ne, Uruha-kun!!" and he pushed the red button before finally putting the phone back on the bedside table where it belonged and snuggled up against Aoi fondly. The raven guitarist merely raised his eyebrows at the look of satisfaction on Kai's face, the young one looking like a little kid who had gotten away with stealing a cookie and telling a lie afterwards.

"Why didn't you hand me the phone?" the older one asked even though he still draped his arms around the young one's frame, "That was Uruha, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was, but what's it to you?" Kai replied rather jealously, and that little fact didn't escape Aoi's notice. The older raven sighed as he nuzzled Kai's neck and gave a mumbled answer.

"But it's _my_ phone, honey… Besides, Uruha wouldn't call if it wasn't anything important," the guitarist answered with a sigh, but jerked back slightly when Kai suddenly turned in the embrace and gave a pouty glare.

"Oh come _on_, Ao-kun!" Kai exclaimed, "You've practically spent the whole day with him yesterday!! Can't I have you for myself just this once??" the Scorpio male slightly whined, and Aoi smiled at the adorable act as he turned Kai around gently and hugged him.

"Gomen, I didn't mean it that way. It's just that I'm worried about him. He's really in a daze because of Kanon and Ruki and I already promised him my help," Aoi explained, "I already told you about the AnCafe leader, didn't I?"

"Okay, so you did. But it's just been yesterday!!" Kai insisted, "What could possible happen in only _one_ day?!"

"Well…" Aoi sighed as he thought up an answer that could possible make his lover smile, "Knowing Uruha…" he trailed off, "He might've killed Ruki," the guitarist then stated bluntly, and Kai stayed silent a few seconds before bursting out in a giggling fit.

"Hahaha…! What?!" he exclaimed as he leaned back into the embrace, still giggling heavily, "You can't be serious!!"

"No, really, I am," Aoi reassured him though a smile was plastered on his face, "I mean, the boy could be quite impulsive sometimes, and you know how annoying Ruki sometimes can be…" the older one trailed off, "So it's possible," he concluded, and Kai snorted with laughter. He fell in his lover's embrace, still laughing with joy, as Aoi merely sat by and watched with a smile on his face, glad that he had succeeded into making the young raven laugh.

**---**

Ruki sighed as he flopped down on his bed and let his spiky blonde bangs fall into his eyes. He blew it away and sent it flying for a few split seconds before landing only a few centimeters away from where it had been before. Reita walked in after him with a small smile as he watched the cute face the chibi vocalist wore.

"So he'll just leave me in the end, won't he?" the small one mumbled into the air as Reita sat down next to him on the bed, staring down from beside him, and frowned at the exclamation Ruki just made.

"What do you mean?" Reita asked, "Uruha hasn't gone anywhere, and I doubt that Kanon would accept him again if he could choose?" he tried to joke, but Ruki merely groaned and covered his eyes with his lower arm.

"Please stop saying such bad things, Rei-kun…" the chibi blew his hair into the air once again, "I won't really mind if they'd really get back together…"

"Then what's the problem?"

"It's just the dream that I had… It's really bothering me!" Ruki exclaimed, "I can't stop thinking about Uruha and about what the dream would mean, and I just --"

"What dream?" Reita cut in as he leaned on his elbow and inched himself closer to the chibi as he saw the latter hesitate, "Won't you tell me?" and he lowered his face closer to Ruki's, making the small one blush slightly, "Maybe I can help. I could talk to Uruha for you?" Reita offered, and Ruki's fidgeting finally, slowly, came to a halt as he took his decision and also a deep breath.

He told the bassist about his dream, how it happened, where it happened, and what he felt at every scene. Reita merely observed him as he took in his words and thought them over, and finally Ruki bit his lip as he ended his story.

"Well?" Ruki demanded as he pouted, "What do you think?"

"What do _you_ think?" Reita shot the question back at him, and the vocalist rolled his eyes before telling his side of the story.

"I figured that I'll be losing Uru somewhere in the future… because he found Kanon and all. I mean, he was always there for me, which refers to the first part of the dream, but he obviously found someone more interesting and left me there in the midst of the crowd, which ofcourse, refers to the last part," Ruki explained, "And I just think that I should let him go when the time comes," he sighed, "And what's your opinion?"

"I don't really have any…" Reita mumbled, resulting into Ruki making a face as he continued, "Cause you practically took the words out of my mouth, but I think that there's more to it than just that. There are too many flaws in your theory."

"Such as?"

"Kanon and his disease," Reita stated bluntly, "He's not living for long, Ru, and I'm saying that as a fact, even though I'm his close friend as well. I may be rude, but I can't lie," he declared with a determined gaze as the Aquarius rolled his eyes.

"Okay, so that's out of the way. Anything else?"

"You felt threatened by the crowd around you," he said thoughtfully, "If you had let him go, you wouldn't feel that way."

"Doesn't make much sense."

Reita shrugged, "It's possible."

"Alright, alright. Any more?"

"Uhm, no, I'm still thinking," the bassist admitted, "I need someone with more knowledge about dreams…" he trailed off, seemingly thinking, and Ruki waited patiently until Reita finally spoke up, "Well, I guess I'll just have to ask Yume about it!" he finally exclaimed, "you still have internet, don't you Ru-chan?" he requested, and Ruki nodded hesitantly with a frown.

Since they were already in his room, Ruki merely pointed at the computer, as if telling Reita to use it, and the bassist didn't waste much time. Turning on the CPU and logging into his own account that the computer still possessed, the blonde immediately typed in his e-mail and password at Yahoo! Messenger and double-clicked Yumehito's name. A few minutes later, Reita started chatting with the guitarist from Ayabie. Yawning hugely, Ruki didn't bother to pay attention and focused on his light-blue ceiling until his eyelids finally felt heavy and drifted him off to sleep.

**---**

It's been two and a half months.

the GazettE have finally reached their last destination of their tour; Saitama Arena. As they did their yells and clapped for themselves, they all finally walked out onto the stage and the audience went even wilder than they were before. Since it was their last, the five members were obviously more enthusiastic and gave their all for this one last live.

On stage, Kai was the first to come in, settling behind the drums with that huge, adorable smile plastered on his face as Uruha followed behind him. The brunette guitarist slightly ignored the audience and only made a few signs with his hand, gave a small smile, before reaching his guitar and strapping it on. Next was Reita, who came in just like Uruha, except that he didn't ignore his fans and tried his best to look all macho. Aoi trotted in after him, flashing that gorgeous smile of his and blowing a teasing kiss to all of his fangirls, which ofcourse made them vouch for him even louder. Ruki was last to come up on stage, and this little kid practically _ignored_ the crowd and acted as if they didn't exist, faking up the "cool" look, making him look only more adorable than ever. The five of them seemed hyper and excited, even though you could slightly see their weariness. But what else could you expect?

As the five got ready and took their time walking on stage, their prelude "Hakuri" was playing in the background and when it came to a halt, it was immediately followed by "IN THE MIDDLE OF CHAOS". The band stopped playing after "LEECH", though, and it gave Ruki a chance to give a proper intro for everyone. After that, the band banged away on "THE INVISIBLE WALL". The few songs that followed after that were most of the touching songs, and everyone -- especially the serious Uruha -- were focused onto their own instruments. Only Aoi was still kind and relaxed enough to give the audience a small smile here and there in "Shiroki Yuuutsu", but even he was serious.

After "WITHOUT A TRACE", the GazettE guys took a small break as Ruki delivered another speech, and after that, it was time for a few of their older but popular songs. Everyone was headbanging along with "Hyena" and "AGONY" and it was obvious that everyone was having a great time, even the crew! Then the setlist reached "COCKROACH" and that was where one of the most surprising acts took place. Somewhere along the end of the song where it was about to enter "DISCHARGE", Uruha had come up to him and crushed their lips together at the one convenient point where Ruki wasn't singing. It obviously confused the vocalist, as he remembered that Uruha was supposed to be kissing Aoi -- according to Kai's instructions -- but knowing that the show must go on, Ruki tried his best ignore it, and a few seconds later, he was already headbanging to the song along with the audience. When they finally finished playing "DIM SCENE", all five of them left the stage as the prelude "Mourou" crackled in the background.

Their fans were all ofcourse chanting the band's name over and over, and as usual, they played "Ride with the ROCKERS" as a warm-up. Kai was the first to enter the stage once again and beat his drums while asking the audience to sing along with him. Next to come up was Reita, who jammed along with the Scorpio drummer on his bass. After their session was done, the two guitarists walked in together -- with Aoi practically dragging Uruha by his arm -- with a huge satisfied smile and the jam session started all over again, until Ruki showed up at the near end of it.

Then the encore started and the GazettE played three of their older but favorited songs. In "SILLY GOD DISCO", though, Ruki had again noticed something rather weird about Uruha. Sure, the vocalist had licked his guitar while flashing him a slightly seductive look since it was all part of the fanservice-stage-script that Kai had set up, and it was usual for Uruha to then kiss the guitar and trot off to continue playing the song. But this time, Uruha moved to kiss Ruki's cheek and not his guitar. And the look on his face wasn't all that usual either; it was as if he was returning Ruki's inviting look that he had given before. Ruki was ofcourse stunned as it was the second time it happened, and even though he was still singing, he kept staring at the seemingly-ignoring guitarist for a few seconds until Aoi made a sharp note with his guitar -- making it seem to the fans as of he was playing around -- though Ruki knew it was directly telling him not to go daydreaming and keep on singing as soon as his eyes met the older one.

The vocalist tried to not make it a big deal, though -- at least until after the live -- and he finally gave an outro after two more songs, and the band rounded off the whole thing with "Kantou Dougeza Kumiai" and "LINDA ~candydive pinky heaven~". After saying goodbye, jumping together with the audience with linked hands and waiting for Kai to finish handing out his drumsticks, Ruki walked together with the drummer to the changing rooms.

The three guitarists had already gone ahead, and when the two arrived, the three of them had already changed into their usual attires and were wiping off their makeup. Reita seemed to be done already, though, as he was perched in front of his computer, typing away, while Aoi and Uruha were so deeply engaged in a conversation that they didn't even notice Ruki and Kai coming in. As the two moved to get their own stuff, Ruki could hear bits of the conversation.

"… for fun," was all that Ruki had caught Uruha saying to the older guitarist, whom gave a glare back to the honey-brunette.

"But you can't just do that! He was dazed, you know," Aoi stated rather sternly, "He could forget his lyrics just because you kissed him!!" to which Uruha merely shrugged indifferently. Instead he leaned closer into the older one's face and held Aoi's chin as he wiped away remnants of foundation and lipgloss that he spotted near the raven guitarist's lip with an emotionless face. Apparently -- as Ruki had caught it -- Aoi had been lecturing Uruha about the kiss that he gave Ruki just a while ago.

"What're you doing?!" Aoi asked, rather shocked at the sudden act that Uruha pulled, making Ruki steal a glance at the two, and he saw Uruha ignore the protest with a shrug.

"Stay still; I can't get the makeup off if you keep moving," the young one merely instructed as he held Aoi's chin more firmly. Kai, who had apparently stood still to observe the two, had merely shook his head at the sight with a small smile on his face and went off to change, but Ruki crossed his arms and cleared his throat. At the time Aoi looked up at the sound was also the time when Uruha had finished cleaning his fellow guitarist up. Noticing Ruki's sarcastic face, Uruha smiled hugely towards the chibi vocalist and walked up to him, ruffling his hair.

"Go get changed," was all that he said as he walked past and headed for Reita.

When the five were done and had gathered their stuff, they all marched out of the building and inside their van, though Kai had fallen back for a minute since a girl had called his name and asked to have a picture with him. A good four hours later, the GazettE were on their way back to Tokyo and everyone inside the vehicle were having fun in their own way.

Uruha was focused on a really thick book that he seemed to be enjoying very much, with his two blonde friends sitting in front of him beside each other, busy with a board game. Aoi and Kai were making out in the back seat placed at the farthest back of the vehicle. Both Reita and Ruki had tried their best to not take any notice of the interesting event as Uruha didn't even bother as he had already had his earphones on to keep the noises out. Not that the couple in the back weren't being discreet; but it's just hard to keep in a moan when you had a hand working on your body!

It was nothing new, though, so the others were already getting used to it. But that sure didn't prevent Ruki from giggling every time Kai let out a moan, or from Reita stealing a few glances at to the back, which ofcourse received a small glare from Ruki. The rather awkward situation continued in the same manner for a few more minutes until the two ravens in the back straightened themselves up and joined their other band members, maybe having decided that it was enough, though they did kept on with their cuddling as they settled on a seat.

**---**

A half an hour later, Kai had already fallen asleep with his head on Aoi's shoulder, the older one's arm wrapped protectively around his waist. Aoi had also fallen asleep with his earphones on, and Ruki was also starting to get sleepy. The chibi blonde had laid his head on Reita's lap since only he possessed a body small enough to fit the two-person-seats the van had, and also because they had stopped with their games and Reita was already busy with his laptop. Uruha was already half-way through the book and had progressed a good fifty-seven pages since the past thirty minutes since he's a pretty fast reader.

This also progressed monotonely for a while, until Reita felt himself being watched. Leaning a bit to the side, the bassist looked from beside his laptop monitor to his slightly younger best friend and saw his mahogany eyes quickly shift back to the book. Being quite certain that it was Uruha watching him from time to time (since the others were already asleep), Reita suddenly felt uncomfortable. He could read Uruha like an open book, page by page and Rei knew that Uruha's page had reached a tab called "unrealized jealousy". He kept staring at Uruha until the guitarist felt uncomfortable and stared back, and then a silent conversation ensued between the two.

Just by looking into his best friend's eyes, he could understand what he was feeling and thinking. The bassist could see that Uruha was actually sending him mixed-up messages, as if he himself wasn't sure of what emotion he should show, or even, unsure of what he was to think. Suddenly realizing something inside Uruha's confused manner, Reita decided to ignore his laptop for awhile and his attention changed course towards the sleeping blonde in his lap. Slightly shaking the small body, Reita gently called his name until Ruki stirred and cracked open an eye.

"Wuuut…?" the chibi slightly whined at being woken up, and Reita gave a small smile at the cute act.

"Could you move?" he asked, "I can't work with you on my lap, Ru, it's limiting my movements," he explained in a gentle whisper, and Ruki pouted half-sleepily.

"But I wanna sleep here!! The others are busy!!"

"Uruha isn't," Reita stated, which made Uruha's gaze shoot up to him inquiringly, and Ruki was also suddenly awake at the statement.

"But… But he'll get mad at me if I use him as a pillow!!" Ruki tried to protest, but Reita gave him a mischievous smile.

"No he won't," Reita denied, turning to Uruha, "Won't you?" he asked, giving said brunette a very stern gaze that obviously said, "say yes or else", making the younger one slightly fidget at the stare.

"Uh… Guess not," Uruha replied rather hesitantly, and Reita gave a satisfied smile, turning back to Ruki.

"There you go, Ru. Now could you please move?" the bassist requested, and Ruki groaned as he realized that he had lost. Lazily, he sat up and messed up his own hair before yawning and lazily moving over to Uruha spot, flopping down beside him and innocently putting his head in the guitarist's lap before resuming where he had left off with his sleep.

Uruha was actually frowning and wanted to ask Reita why the bassist had actually done that, but said latter's attention was focused back on his laptop and the young one could only sigh and get back to his book. Uruha was actually still rather bothered about something; but he didn't know what. He had already been bothered ever since he had left Kanon's hospital room three months ago; and something had been bothering him ever since.

Their road home continued, and since he was such a fast reader, it didn't take very long for Uruha to finish the 178-paged book. While wishing inside his heart that Japan would sell thicker books than those, Uruha set it on the table in front of him, right behind Reita's VAIO laptop, and then focused his attention towards the chibi blonde in his lap, playing with his hair, twirling it around his fingers and stroking the soft strands.

As he watched the young one, his mind reeled back to what had happened at the live and to the warning that Aoi had given him earlier in the changing rooms. The older guitarist had in no doubt seen the kissing act that Uruha had pulled twice on the chibi vocalist, and as what any other "big brother" would do, Aoi had confronted Uruha bluntly about it, to which, ofcourse, the young guitarist had merely shrugged at. And then, Aoi had ever-so-bluntly asked about his sudden possessiveness over Ruki through the whole tour since he had gotten so irritated at the way Uruha had walked out on him when their conversation wasn't even finished.

The question ofcourse confused the young one, and he didn't even reply. To be honest, he didn't even feel that he was being possessive. He was just a bit… protective. Uruha couldn't help but keep on thinking about Kanon, and after Reita had threatened him to be a bit more attentive towards Ruki, Uruha decided that it'd be best to just watch over him so that he could get his mind off of the raven AnCafe bassist.

Sure, he should admit that he had been rather childish because he demanded that Ruki should stay close to him in any way possible, but he was just doing that because he didn't want his youngest friend to faint somewhere without anyone knowing, or any other bad thing to happen. Okay, so he did kinda forbid the little one to go out without him… But that wasn't exactly called "possessiveness"…

Was it?

A small, barely-there smile graced Uruha's tired features as he examined the vocalist's sleeping face. In front of him, Reita had already turned off his electronic and was already at the verge of sleeping as he sat there, leaning back in the seat. The brunette guitarist didn't bother to even spare the bassist a glance; he was just too infatuated by Ruki to notice. The young Aquarius just seemed so peaceful there, sleeping on his lap, breathing steady and calm, lips slightly parted to breathe.

_Adorable…_ was the first word that popped up in Uruha's mind.

The next thing he knew, he had already leaned down and pressed his lips gently against Ruki's thinner ones unconsciously, without Uruha himself actually realizing it until he had felt the soft pressure on his skin. Flushing slightly and thanking the situation for Ruki's sleeping state, Uruha pulled away as he worried his bottom lip in anxiousness. The blonde in his lap didn't stir much, though, and Uruha had just let out the breath he had held in… When Ruki suddenly spoke up.

"It's illegal to molest people in their sleep, you know," Ruki stated with closed eyes, surprising the guitarist, "Why did you have to do that?" he demanded again when Uruha didn't say a word, cracking an eye open interrogatingly, and left the brunette fumbling for words.

"Well -- I… I just felt like it!!" he blurted out in an attempt to defend himself, but he received a sarcastic look instead as Ruki opened both his eyes.

"You felt like it?" he repeated incredulously, shaking his head before repositioning himself so he faced Uruha's stomach and moved to hug the taller one's waist in an attempt to bring himself to sleep again. The honey-brunette didn't even try to protest; Ruki was weird when he was sleepy. He merely encouraged the young one to sleep by stroking his hair once again and leaning into the seat himself, letting the sleep overtake him.

**---**

"Ru…?" a voice called from the distance, "Ru, wake up, we've arrived," shaking his body slightly, gently, "You're too heavy on me," and that was when Ruki realized that it was Uruha shaking him in an attempt to wake him up.

Yawning loudly, the chibi vocalist sat up lazily, stretching his arms and rubbing his eyes. As he opened his dark-brown orbs, though, he noticed that Reita had been crouching infront of him all this time, eyeing him closely.

"You fully awake, now, chibi?" he asked teasingly, and Ruki pouted childishly.

"I am NOT chibi!!" he protested, but Reita merely gave a slightly mocking smile as Uruha patted his head lovingly.

"_Sure_ you're not," the honey-brunette guitarist chuckled, and Ruki sat up with a sigh, messing up his own hair in a yawn. Reita had stood on his feet when the blonde vocalist did this, and he tapped the younger one's nose to wake him up fully.

"Come on, get on your feet and get your stuff," he instructed as he walked away, "I wanna go home early," and then the bassist left the two friends alone in the van; Aoi and Kai had already gotten out. When Ruki stood up, Uruha did the same and took his stuff from the back of the van, taking his blonde friend's things too and handing it over to him when Ruki was finished with waking up. The two then walked out of the van in silence; the shorter one still too sleepy to talk while the taller one's head was too deep in the clouds to notice anything.

They soon caught up with the other three members, catching them talking to a few other PSC band members who were apparently still lounging around the PSC building because they either didn't have much to do, or they had just finished their night-schedule practice. Aoi and Kai were both talking to Keiyuu while Reita was busy discussing with Saga. As soon as Uruha caught Shin and Akiya, the guitarist walked off with a huge smile towards the two, leaving Ruki alone to fiddle with his rings. The blonde didn't really feel like talking even though he did spot Shou holding Saga's hand as the bassist talked to Reita. The lanky blonde automatically raised a hand and waved, to then let go of his boyfriend and walk over to his younger senpai.

"Ne, Ruki-kun!" he managed to smile, "How was the tour?"

"Exhausting," Ruki answered with a sleepy smile, "Has Nao put you guys through another week of late practice?" he asked to break the ice, referring to the faint circles beneath the blonde's eyes and Shou nodded with a yawn.

"Yeah. He scheduled our practices at night -- _again_ -- for how long I don't know," Shou complained, "I guess he had enough of most of us being late in the mornings…"

"What about the evenings?" Ruki asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets. But the blonde shook his head with a tired smile and shrug. In the end, the five GazettE members ended up talking to their friends anyway. Shou then started complaining about his relationship with Saga and about the help that Uruha had offered. Everyone was just so caught up in each of their own conversations that when the sound of a ringing keitai sounded through the mass of chatters, everyone moved to take their own cells. The room suddenly became eerily quiet except for the sound of the ringtone, and then the alice nine. bassist broke the silence.

"It ain't mine," Saga exclaimed, checking the ID.

"Nope, me neither," Izumi stated, stuffing the electronic back in his pocket, glancing over his shoulder to Shin, but the Kagrra, vocalist shook his head.

"Ah, that's not my ringtone Mizu-kun."

"Mine's dead," Uruha shrugged, not even bothering to check.

"I didn't even bring my phone," Keiyuu mumbled. The murmurs of denial continued, and the phone kept on ringing, until the sound suddenly became very loud and every turned to a certain tall raven guitarist.

"Sorry guys, it's mine," Aoi suddenly informed, and he moved away from the crowd a bit to take the call, slightly dragging Kai along as he was still holding the younger one's hand. He had seen on the caller ID earlier and saw that it was Bou calling him. He raised an eyebrow curiously at it; why would the guitarist call at such an ungodly hour?

"Bou-kun?" Kai asked, sounding confused, and Aoi merely shrugged before flipping his phone open and taking the call.

"Moshi-moshi, Bou-kun? Doushite no?" he immediately shot, but there was nothing but sobbing replying back. Frowning, he turned to Kai for an answer, but the drummer only shrugged as he also didn't know anything.

"Hello? Who is this? Bou-kun, are you there?" Aoi tried again, and this time, Bou's heavy voice sounded through the receiver, but his voice was shaky and he was choking through his sobs.

"Ao-kun… I… Is Uruha…" he managed to stutter before breaking down, the sound of his wails carrying through the receiver so clearly and loudly that the Aquarius had to hold the electronic away from his phone, wincing from the sound, locking eyes with Kai, exchanging a look of pure shock and horror.

_What the hell is happening over there?_

When the sobs finally died down and Kai encouraged his boyfriend to talk again, Aoi complied and pressed the phone back to his ear.

"Hello? Anybody there…?" he gently tried, and after a few seconds of silence, a small voice mumbled something that oddly sounded like, "hold on," and the sound of the phone being passed around resounded through the receiver once again. Feeling rather tired with the uncertainty, Aoi had the very strong urge to just hang up on them with the excuse of a joke, but Kai -- who had already read his older lover's intentions -- immediately gave him a stern gaze that prevented him from giving in and Aoi finally waited patiently. Only a few seconds later, a more steady, though soft and younger voice spoke up confidently and politely through the other end.

"I'm sorry, it's a chaos here," the soft voice apologized, "This is Aoi-san I'm speaking to, right?"

"Uh, yeah…" Aoi mumbled, "Um, I won't ask what just happe --" but the little boyish voice cut him off in the middle of his sentence and spoke in a very fast pace.

"I know, I won't even try to explain. I'm Takuya, AnCafe's current guitarist and I really, really, _really_ need to talk to Uruha-san since it involves Kanon-kun a lot. He's critical and I've tried Uruha-san's number so many times but it won't come through and that is why I've called you. So is Uruha-san there?" Takuya ranted through, all in one breath, not making much sense in grammar, and Aoi suddenly felt as if he was Uruha when the honey-brunette was still uploading information from the situation around him. He felt slow and disconnected. The raven didn't get a word of what the junior guitarist had said. All that he caught was that Kanon's critical and that they had to talk to Uruha…

"Hello??? Anybody there??" Takuya demanded, "It's really important!! Ao-san!!" slightly childishly, and since Aoi was still rather spaced out, Kai took the phone from him and answered instead. The older raven immediately got shaken out of his thoughts and tried to get his phone back but Kai prevented him and spoke into the receiver.

"Yeah he's here, hold on," the drummer answered, and abruptly dragged Aoi over to Uruha, handing the phone to a dumbfounded rhythm guitarist with only one word to make him react quickly.

"Kanon."

Alarmed, Uruha immediately took the phone and talked into the receiver, the worry clearly reflected on his face.

"Hello? Ka -- Takuya? Well… Yeah, how's he?"

Ruki, who was standing near him, looked up at the Gemini curiously, trying to read him while at the same time trying to know what was going on the older one's mind. Uruha's expression suddenly changed in an instant, though; from worried to utterly shocked, and then it suddenly went void of all emotion. He was only humming and agreeing to whatever the other one said at the other end, his voice also emotionless. The conversation didn't last longer than three minutes and by the time he hung up, he had only shoved the phone towards Aoi, who was indeed still standing there near him together with Kai, and had immediately looked around the small crowd for Reita. He had always depended on his best friend for everything, especially when it was important and was a life or death situation. The bassist could always read him even without him the need for Uruha to say anything. The honey-brunette then spotted his blonde soulmate talking at the most back of the crowd.

"'Kira!" Uruha called Reita's real name in one clear, demanding tone, and as if by cue, Reita immediately turned around and their eyes locked. As Ruki observed closer, it was as if he saw a silent conversation ensuing between the two; before Uruha broke the vocalist's concentration by stretching out his open palm in Reita's direction, as if demanding something.

Automatically getting what Uruha meant by it, the bassist reached inside his pockets and extracted a set of keys, and threw it through the air towards the younger one, who caught it perfectly. The two friends exchanged their vehicle keys and without another word, Uruha then dashed off towards the spot where Reita had parked his bike. None of the GazettE members even had to be a genius to guess where he was going; it was bloody obvious!

Reita was just about to call his shorter blonde friend to go after the tallest member towards the hospital together, when he started to notice that Ruki wasn't even standing there with Shou anymore. When he looked around, he saw that he wasn't the only one having realized the missing-chibi-fact as he saw Keiyuu and Shin looking around too. Just when he was about to go and ask anybody who might've noticed, they all heard the loud sound of a bike getting revved and then speed away; it didn't take long for them to spot a tall figure on the black bike racing away, everyone knowing that it was Uruha. It wasn't until Shou spoke up that they realized something else; a small person with bleached blonde hair.

"Guys! Ruki's right there behind him!!"

**---**

Nothing registered into his mind anymore; it was as if logic had just stopped working.

Uruha didn't care when Ruki insisted to come along with him, and he certainly didn't turn back to see whether the small blonde was still there following him or not. They had only reached the hospital a few minutes ago, but Uruha's steps were fast and he had reached the familiar halls of the ward he was supposed to be in. As he looked around for number eighteen, he could faintly hear the running footsteps of whom he knew was Ruki's, but again, he didn't pay much attention to it as he realized that he was in the right ward but wrong hall; the name stated "Tsubaki" but the numbers were too big; they were all between twenty-five and thirty-seven and he needed eighteen, damn it!!

Walking back to the start of the hall, Uruha could see from the corner of his eye that Ruki had already reached the stairs and was heavily breathing in and out since he was obviously having trouble keeping up with Uruha's fast paced and long steps. The chibi was determined, though, and he insisted on following his guardian angel until he was sure about what bothered the older one, even though he was sure that Uruha might not care the least bit about that right now.

And he was right. Scanning the many identical halls, he started to get very frustrated since he couldn't calm down, but the sound of sobs sounding not too far away made him realize that it might be sign for him or something, since he remembered that when Takuya had called, Bou was crying in the background. Knowing that there might be some chance, the Gemini then ran and checked every single hall he passed in a glance, looking around for a certain crying blonde guitarist.

He didn't even have to look for long. Four empty halls later, he indeed saw Bou crying his heart out while Miku held him, Takuya and Yuki standing in front the two. As Uruha ran over to them with Ruki tailing behind him, the four ofcourse looked up and Takuya brightened as he recognized the face.

"Uruha-san!!" he exclaimed happily, running over and hugging the older one, making Uruha and frown, "What took you so long?! Kanon-kun was looking for you and we couldn't reach your phone!!" he glared, "And Ruki-san too!!" he said as he noticed the chibi vocalist, "Why didn't you tell him to hurry up?!" the cute redhead complained, letting go of the embrace and taking both the rhythm guitarist's and the vocalist's wrist, "Come on, he's over here!!" and Takuya dragged them away, leaving the other three staring at them.

As they entered room number twenty Uruha realized that they've moved Kanon to another spot and he had almost started to wonder why, but the sight of a raven bassist laying weakly there on his bed made all thoughts waver. Teruki was sitting there beside him, and they abruptly looked up when they noticed the three new figures who had just barged inside the room.

Then it was as if all sound had gone from the world. The room was completely quiet except for the soft sound of breathing and the irritatingly loud noise of the heartbeat indicator*. Teruki then decided to break the ice by standing up, his heart telling him that he'd better call the others, who had gotten out because Bou was afraid that his crying would make Kanon all the more nervous. (*dunno what it's called -_-;;).

"Where're you going, Teru-kun?" Kanon spoke up with a rather alarmed tone, taking his older friend's wrist weakly in reflex. It wasn't that he didn't like Uruha being there, but it really made him nervous for some unknown reason. It was hard to breathe for him already, and he didn't want his "boyfriend" to make his condition worse. Kanon also noticed Ruki there, and that got him all the more nervous. But he just didn't get it. He knew he was going to die, so what the hell was there to be nervous about, dammit?!

"I'm gonna get the others. You go talk with Uruha-san," Teruki stated, clearly ordering his leader-sama in a gentle way. He then walked off without a single word, tapping Takuya on his shoulder to indicate that the young one should follow him out, which the redhead guitarist ofcourse complied to. Ruki had also wanted to turn around and get out as the two others had disappeared out the door, but Uruha's gentle grip on his wrist stopped him. Ruki was honestly confused. He thought that Uruha would probably not the least bit about him at the moment, but he was apparently proven wrong. Ruki showed him a questioning look in response, but as usual, his tall guardian angel didn't answer and let go of him as soon as he was certain that Ruki wouldn't leave the room.

And then, with small hesitating steps, Uruha walked over to his kouhai.

"Shinya-chan…" Uruha mumbled, using the bassist's real name, "Takuya… Said that…" he started, and didn't continue because Kanon started to cough. When he was about to talk again, the raven bassist had already beat him to it. Finding the situation suddenly interesting, Ruki moved to sit down on a small two-seat sofa and carefully examine the two as they spoke.

"Yeah. I wanted to see Shima-kun again," Kanon admitted with a small smile, stretching out his hand as a sign for Uruha to come closer, "I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye," he sighed as his "boyfriend" took his hand, "It hurt enough the last time, and I don't want to cause you the loss you've caused me," he stated sadly, and Uruha took the seat beside him.

As the two continued their conversation, Ruki kept on observing the two, while also keeping track of everything around him. He saw how patient, gentle and sweet Kanon was towards the rhythm guitarist holding his hand, and Ruki had just realized, had just started to understand of why Uruha had fallen in love with the bassist. Hating to admit but knowing that it was true, Ruki had honestly never seen someone so in tune with himself. And he always knew that Uruha liked that of people.

_No wonder…_

Hearing a certain noise sounding a lot like footsteps, Ruki looked around and noticed that only Teruki, Takuya and Yuuki have gotten back in the room quietly; Miku and Bou were still outside. He had also noticed that beeping of the indicator had somehow gotten slower… But he merely took it as his imagination.

_It couldn't be. Critical means critical, but…_

"Ruki-san?" Kanon suddenly called his name, inquiring the small blonde with a peaceful, defeated-looking pair of eyes, "Promise me something?" the raven bassist requested softly, and now Ruki also realized why the AnCafe members had made him the leader; how could anyone ever say no to the gentlest pair of eyes one had ever seen?

"Ruki-san?"

"Uh, yeah," Ruki nodded as he got shaken out of his thoughts, "Sure, anything."

"Promise me?" Kanon insisted, showing his child-like side, and the blonde vocalist suddenly felt rather uneasy. What was it actually that Kanon had wanted to ask from him?

"Ofcourse," he smiled, even though his heart was pounding in his chest, "What is it?"

"Please take care of Shima-kun for me?" he faintly smiled, and that request had really taken Ruki's ability to speak. What was the request all about? Kanon didn't seriously think that…?

"Shin, what're you talking about?" Uruha demanded gently, apparently confused with request himself. The two then started to talk (debate) again, but Ruki had already stopped listening. There were now things -- uneasy, unpleasant, but at the same time, _hopeful_ -- running through his mind at the same time just because of one request. Before he could think more about it though, the sound of a door slightly creaking open distracted him from his current daydreams.

"Ruki?" A familiar voice whispered through the door, breaking Ruki's thoughts. The chibi vocalist then turned along with the other three AnCafe members and noticed Kai's raven head peeking through, with Aoi and Reita behind them. Kai's eyes then met Teruki's for a brief second before the AnCafe's oldest member nodded and the three GazettE members waltzed right over to Ruki's side, with the small Aquarius immediately wrapping his arms around Reita's waist and burying his face in the blonde bassist's stomach. Ruki was still sitting and Reita merely stood there in front of him, ruffling the young one's hair as he noticed Aoi observing Kanon and Uruha. Reita knew the bleached-blonde needed comfort and the feeling of security at the moment, and so he didn't protest.

In opposite to that, the raven melody guitarist known as Aoi, was actually rather surprised to see the new set of electronics now attached to and surrounding the AnCafe bassist. The last time that Aoi had visited Kanon together with Uruha, he had seemed pretty alright and well. Now the young male just looked plain pale and weak; he couldn't even manage to talk to Uruha properly by the looks of it. At this point, a sniffling Bou had just gotten in, his eyes puffy and his nose red from crying, with a worried Miku guiding him in. The blonde vocalist shot Aoi a small tired small before getting back to trying to calm the post-crying guitarist down.

"Ao-kun… There's a…" Kai mumbled out of the blue, tugging at Aoi's wrist, referring to the loudly beeping heartbeat indicator, the stats clearly showing that Kanon's heartbeat was somehow going a tad slower than normal. In response to Kai's mumble, Aoi merely nodded and entangled their fingers together to calm the young drummer. But yes, his lover was right; the presence of the electronic clearly emphasized Bou and Takuya's word of "critical". The only thing making Aoi wonder was this; how could the AnCafe ex-leader seem so calm, as if he'd embrace death willingly? He was only seconds away from it!

_Maybe he would,_ Aoi thought darkly, but soon regretted the thought when Uruha got on his feet in a split of a second at the exact time the indicator stopped beeping and merely let out a monotonic tone that only indicated one thing. Everyone in the room then panicked; with the AnCafe members panicking all the more. Yuuki had rushed out to get a nurse and the doctor while Bou had already started crying hysterically again. The blonde guitarist immediately rushed over to his kouhai's side, hovering over his body, not able to accept the fact that had already gotten into everyone's mind. It was too late, and everyone knew it.

Kanon has already gone.

[To Be Continued]

**---**

*sees glares of readers*

I'm sorry!! *bows* I know this chapter sucks stinky socks, and it's only 31 pages… *wails* I am so sorry!! It's probably the worst thing I've written, and it's probably due to the fact that I've kinda promised myself to finish this chapter before the GazettE finish their DIMSCENE Tour… And also because school is starting drive me CRAZY!! So, yeah. It sucks.

*bows again* I am so sorry!! Please review, and flame me if you must!! *ducks away from a flying shoe _Raphael Rae_ threw and runs off*


	7. Lachrymosa

**Chapter 7**** : Lachrymosa**

Sorry it took me so long to update! I lost every single file in my laptop and it included the HnS series too… Well, here it is then, I did my best into trying to make my readers cry, and I hope this'll stir your emotions somewhat… It didn't stir mine that much, but well, I did my best. Here ya go everyone, and sorry if it's too short. I personally thought that the last one I made was better, but since it's deleted… I'll just have to suck it up and live. T_T

IT TOOK ONE DAMN YEAR! _ We've passed this story's birthday already.. Well, anyways.

**IMPORTANT NOTE :**

**1. This whole chapter is written in Engrish** because Ruki faltered my English… Beware of grammar mistakes too.

**2. ****SHIN-CHAN = SHINYA = KANON** because Sano Shinya is Kanon's real name. No other Shinyas or Shin-chans will be used in this chapter except for Kanon's real name.

* * *

"Ao-kun… There's a…" Kai mumbled out of the blue, tugging at Aoi's wrist, referring to the loudly beeping heartbeat indicator, the stats clearly showing that Kanon's heartbeat was somehow going a tad slower than normal. In response to Kai's mumble, Aoi merely nodded and entangled their fingers together to calm the young drummer. But yes, his lover was right; the presence of the electronic clearly emphasized Bou and Takuya's word of "critical". The only thing making Aoi wonder was this; how could the AnCafe ex-leader seem so calm, as if he'd embrace death willingly? He was only seconds away from it!

_Maybe he would,_ Aoi thought darkly, but soon regretted the thought when Uruha got on his feet in a split of a second at the exact time the indicator stopped beeping and merely let out a monotonic tone that only indicated one thing. Everyone in the room then panicked; with the AnCafe members panicking all the more. Yuuki had rushed out to get a nurse and the doctor while Bou had already started crying hysterically again. The blonde guitarist immediately rushed over to his kouhai's side, hovering over his body, not able to accept the fact that had already gotten into everyone's mind. It was too late, and everyone knew it.

Kanon has already gone.

* * *

As Uruha fell back limply onto the seat behind him Reita knew he could never ever forget the disappointment he caught at that exact moment. The shock reflected in the honey-brunette's face was just so touching your heart would be ripped in pieces without you knowing what you're grieving for exactly…

"Uruha…" Aoi mumbled from beside the bassist, and as if catching on what Aoi wants to do, Kai stepped forward, seemingly calm in between the panic and hysterical wails, and the drummer walked through the mess towards his stunned rhythm guitarist, grabbing him by the shoulders and hauling him up in a motherly way, gentle but demanding, into his strong arms. Seemingly too stunned to protest, Uruha blindly let himself be guided out by his Leader-sama out the hospital room, Aoi tailing behind the two. Reita had only dropped back to share his condolences with Tatsuya and Amaya before following his band mates out the door with Ruki behind him. The vocalist didn't know why, but he just couldn't bring himself to either cry not feel sad; he just felt… nothing.

Seeing Amaya quietly sobbing onto Tatsuya's shoulder, seeing Bou wail loudly as he hovered over Kanon's body, seeing Reita so lost and seeing Uruha's deep grief… Why couldn't Ruki feel anything? Why was he not affected? Even Aoi and Kai seemed to be a tiny bit depressed, but why couldn't I…?

_Wait…_ Ruki frowned as he felt something warm glide over his cheeks, _What is…?_

But just as he realized what the warm liquid was, Reita walked up to him and crouched so that it seemed as if Ruki was towering over him, and surprisingly, the bassist _smiled_. He smiled as he looked up sadly into Ruki's adorable frowning face and cupped his cheek, his thumb gently swiping over the bottom of Ruki's left eye.

"Tears, huh?"

"I'm not crying."

"Sure you're not."

* * *

Uruha was silent as he allowed his chiyu to stroke his hair and hum him a song. He was too deep in his thoughts to notice anything else.

_Gone… _

_Forever… _

_You left me behind, here, all alone… Where I'm never to meet you again… _

_I'm sorry…_

_I'm so sorry…_

_T__here wasn't a thing I could do!_

_Why did you have to go so soon? We've only met, haven't we? We've just…__ I've promised to make it up to you, to make it all better again… Is this reprisal because I've left you in the past? You're making sure life was a living hell for me by leaving me in return now?_

_A living hell…_

_That was what it all must've been to you__ in the past, wasn't it? I loved you…_

_And I still do… I know you knew…_

_Then why…?_

_Why?_

And slowly, ever so gracefully slowly, a small tear escaped his almond-shaped, almost cat-like eyes, and it was closely followed by a second… and a third… and a fourth… Until all of his pent-up emotions ran down his smooth cheeks in a beautiful rain… Even though the delicate fingers threading through his hair should've soothed and calmed him down, it sadly didn't, and he was slowly starting to wonder whether he could ever live on without looking back to his beloved one…

But even though tears streamed down his beautiful face, even though his breath had become hitched; no sobs had emerged, no shake of the shoulders occurred. Was he crying? Nobody could tell.

Not even Uruha himself.

* * *

Reita sighed as he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall of the livingroom. Both he and Ruki had succeeded into bringing a very mute Uruha home in the most pathetic condition they could ever imagine, and now said guitarist was in his room with Ruki, doing God-knows-what. But as if Reita would care. No, there were other things on his mind, other, more _pathetic_ things on his mind.

Everything was a mess. A total, down-to-earth mess. The bassist just couldn't stop thinking about what had happened at the hospital; how Uruha had faintly struggled and refused to leave Kanon's side before finally giving in and allowing himself to be carried away… He wouldn't even speak. Not a single word. He had just sat there, in the back seat, clinging hopelessly to Reita while Ruki drove them home. He had been as meek as a lamb, and it was as if he had spoken to Death itself. It even seemed as if he had begged Death to take him along as well; he did not seem to have the will to talk, move, live, let alone _breathe_. But he couldn't just suffocate himself now, could he?

No, it wasn't as if Suzuki Akira were talking ill about his own best friend who had stood by him through thick and thin, through each and every downfall, no, it was just that he pitied and felt sorry for his friend. Not even once in his life had he remembered his Shima-kun this dead and pathetic over a mere lover, and he had known Uruha for practically 2/3 part of his life! The Kouyou he had known wasn't like this! Takashima Kouyou was stubborn; he knew what he wanted and he always stood up for himself or for anything he knew was right! Kouyou wouldn't let himself be broken so easily; Kou was confident and he was self-paced because he was certain in everything that he did.

But now…

The Takashima Kouyou in front of him wasn't stubborn. He was still self-paced, but he didn't stand up for himself, he was unconfident, he doesn't know what he wants, he was so broken; hell, he wasn't even _alive_! Takashima Kouyou, Uruha, Shima-kun, Kou, or whatever the hell you'd like to call him, was _dead_. As lifeless as his lover, who had taken a piece of him as he went to the other side.

"Kuso…" Reita cursed silently, letting himself slide down the wall, sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest. He could feel the tears slowly welling up, but wasn't exactly surprised to not feel them spill over the rim of his sharp eyes; he had cried more than enough in the hospital. He had cried for the loss, he had cried for Kanon, he had cried for the sake of himself, but moreover, he had cried for Uruha. Sure, call it cheesy, but it was the truth. It just hurt, to see your best friend - no, Uruha was more than a friend, more than a _brother_ – broken like this. It wrenched his heart so much…

"Reita-kun?" a heavy voice called quietly from the direction of the hall, and Reita opened his eyes just enough to see Ruki walking towards him in small steps, seemingly as dead as Uruha's had been…

"Taka-chan?" he managed to croak out as the chibi vocalist knelt beside him, "Where's Kou?"

"Ah… He's… He's asleep…" Ruki sighed, forcing a small smile, even though he could tell it was sad without having to look in a mirror or see it in the reflection of Reita's eyes. Speaking of which, he didn't see any flicker of life in those brown orbs, either. He seemed as dead as Uruha was, though Ruki could see his dirty-blonde friend was still fuelled alive by hope and his never ending will to live. When Reita started using real names, Ruki knew that there was something wrong, and this time, the chibi blonde didn't have to guess what it was or why.

It was a painful stab in his heart as well, to see both of his friends like this, but he had to stay strong, no matter how much hurt he had… He always had stayed strong and he'll always will. He had gone through much more than they had, had he not?

"I guess he's just tired… Emotional breakdowns can suck the life out of you," Ruki tried to joke, emitting a small bitter chuckle, hearing Reita do the same. It felt awkward. For them both, especially. It felt as if the tables have turned. Ruki was usually being the obvious victim, for he was the most sensitive and delicate from the three of them. Both Reita and Uruha would then stand up for him and try to bring him back to normal by any means possible. But now it was Ruki trying to bring everything back to normal while Reita were struggling his own feelings and Uruha was having an emotional breakdown.

"Yeah… I guess it does…" Reita said tiredly, "How is he, though?"

"He's…" Ruki hesitated, "Okay, I guess. Spilled a few tears, and all - not that he cried, but I guess it's a start…" the blonde sighed, "If he's starting to show feelings then the shock might be fading bit by bit…"

Another uncomfortable silence then fell between them once again. As I said, it was awkward, to be switching roles like this. After a moment, the Aquarius finally sighed and shifted a tiny bit, his curious chocolate eyes gazing upon his older friend, and noticed that Reita was fidgeting with his fingers. Ruki could immediately tell that his friend was nervous. Feeling rather uncomfortable himself, Ruki then kneeled and leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Reita's neck, catching the bassist by surprise.

"Ruki…?" the Gemini stuttered out at the sudden act, not daring to believe what he was experiencing. Hadn't Ruki avoided as much physical contact as he could, ever since that kiss that Reita had stolen from him only a few months ago? The innocent hug at the hospital did not count; it was a situation where the vocalist needed comfort. But this hug was… consciously done! It was…

"Gomen…" the Aquarius mumbled as he nuzzled the crook of the bassist's neck, "Just thought you needed a hug… At least I do."

* * *

Reita sighed as he wrapped his arms around a silent Uruha's waist, the honey-brunette's eyes empty and void of all emotion, an untouched plate lying on the bed-side table not too faraway from them. It was only eight p.m. and the sky was already dark outside; Reita had now started to worry. It had been an hour since he had tried to make his best friend eat; to no avail, of course, and Uruha had only accepted two spoonfuls of rice before he refused to eat more and the honey-brunette had then attached himself to Reita, his long arms wrapped around the bassist's well-built torso and broad shoulders. A week or so has already passed and Uruha didn't get any better at all; he got even worse. He refused to eat more as the days passed, until it came to the point where Reita had to practically feed him; the exact thing that he was doing right now.

It was sad, really, the way Uruha clung to him like a lost child, holding on tightly as if he had lost his way in life. Reita could feel the rhythm guitarist's loss and that was why he didn't shift or tried to get Uruha off of him, he just stayed there and ran his fingers through Uruha's long hair in manner he hoped was soothing. If the situation wasn't this sad, pathetic or ironic, Reita knew that he would at least have chuckled at the way they were now. Though he seemed indifferent about his very close relationship with Uruha on the outside, he's actually quite amazed in the inside.

Maybe the fifteen-year factor counted - since they've been best friends for _over_ fifteen years - but Reita had slowly come to realize that he somehow could "read" Uruha's mind and that he can also know and recognize the way Uruha's brain is working… And then there were those times when he can feel what Uruha's feeling, even though they're faraway. When Reita had confessed this to said brunette, the more female-looking Gemini had merely laughed and jokingly suggested that they were separated twins. Even though Uruha seemed to not mean it when he said it, the bassist knew that Uruha actually knew and felt the same way too; he just didn't want to think about it.

"Reita-kun?" a heavy voice, though soft-sounding, spoke up from the doorway and Reita looked up to see Ruki biting his lip while letting the doorsill support most of his weight. By the blinking and sleepy-looking eyes, Reita could tell that Ruki still didn't manage to get enough sleep even though the bassist had sent said little blonde off to get some rest the whole day. Ruki didn't get enough sleep yesterday, but he probably went off to finish his work today…

"Yeah?"

"Is he eating?" Ruki asked, yawning quite broadly before making his way over to the two blondes and flopping himself down beside Uruha, taking the plate onto his lap. Said rhythm guitarist then detached himself as soon as Ruki sat down. The vocalist was already dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a black shirt with his cute glasses adorning his already adorable face.

"Um, no, not really," Reita mumbled, "Why don't you go and try it?" he asked, silently hoping inside his heart that Ruki will not ask him why he was allowing Uruha to hug him. Ruki luckily didn't, and obliged to Reita's words by gently stroking Uruha's cheek to get his attention.

"Hey, I know you're not feeling okay, but I really need you to eat, Shima-kun," Ruki gently said in a patient though tired voice, "I've been through this when I lost Reila but I want you to stay strong, okay? Please, for me?"

And Reita watched as Uruha's expression softened and as the tall male gave a nod and a barely-there smile. It was weird how easily his best friend could succumb to the little blonde Aquarius, but then again, Uruha was unique like that, and he did have a certain soft-spot for Ruki and Aoi… One thing which even Reita was a bit envious of… But he didn't have more time to ponder about his jealousy when he got shaken out of his thought by the sound of the doorbell. As he slightly jumped at the sound, he could also see Ruki and Uruha looking up at the sound, and Reita suddenly felt as if he wanted to get out of there.

"Uhh…" Reita scratched the back of his head, "I'll get it. You just keep on feeding Uruha, ok?" and with that, the dirty-blonde ruffled up his own hair in half-frustration as he sauntered over through the hall and living room to the front door. It just couldn't occur to him as of who in the hell would bother to come over to anybody's place above six p.m. Sighing, Reita opened the door and frowned as he saw the company that arrived.

"Miyavi? What are you…?" Reita tried, but his boyfriend succeeded into shutting him up with a small smile and gesture, and suddenly. . .

"Voila!" Miyavi grinned as he managed to conjure a sheepish Kai and a cool Aoi from beside him, shoving Reita's two band members in front of him, "I called and brought them over. I know how much of a pain Ruki was when he lost his girlfriends and I had this feeling that Uruha might be similar so I did what did and I came along as well cause I've missed you so much and I've not seen you for months so here I am with them, and I think that they were planning on a few band-stuff before I came but since I was more thinking about visiting, I - Mmppff!"

"He gets the picture, Meevs," Aoi cut Miyavi's adorable rant off as he closed his palm over said solo-guitarist's mouth, patting Reita's shoulder while letting himself in, "Take a breather before you run out of air," kicking off his shoes into the corner. Kai looked at his lover with a disapproving glare, but he then decided to ignore it by smiling sweetly to Reita and making his way inside in a politer way than Aoi had done, walking inside and smacking his boyfriend on the head as soon as he got near, glaring softly before turning back to Reita, wanting to ask how Uruha was and where Ruki is now, to only spot him and Miyavi in a heated lip-lock.

O_O ?

"Ehh…" the two ravens sweatdropped, standing still for a moment as if not knowing what to do, getting caught-up in the moment just by looking at the two lovebirds, before Aoi snapped out of it and hooked his arm around Kai's waist, pulling him away towards the hall where Uruha's room was located.

"Uhm, sweetie, let's go find Uruha, shall we…"

"Uh… Yeah. Yeah, let's do that," Kai mumbled in agreement, failing to tear his gaze away from the erotic sight before finally succeeding when Aoi forced his body to turn around and follow his steps. The sight was just too disturbing - but also arousing at the same time - to watch, and Aoi had cursed himself inwardly for not realizing at first hand what actually could happen when a hormone-high Miyavi met an easily-aroused Reita.

As he steered Kai towards Uruha's room, he could faintly hear a quiet though seemingly exciting one-sided dialogue powered by what it seems to be Ruki. The faint noises sounded quite happy, and as the two ravens stepped in, they both could see that Ruki was feeding Uruha lovingly, and even though the process seemed to be slow and Uruha still didn't seem to be listening to Ruki with that blank, emotionless face of his, he at least was willing to eat and that sight made Kai sigh in relief.

"Uruha can never say no to Ruki, can he?" Kai mumbled, "Even though he still won't talk," and added in, to which Aoi hummed an agreement to before the older one fully stepped inside the room and turned the attention to him.

"Heya Ru!" he greeted the vocalist, whom immediately turned to him and smiled broadly.

"Ah, Aoi-san!" he replied with a weary smile, "Kai-kun, too. What're you guys doing here? Who did you come with?" he asked, putting the plate aside.

"We arrived with Miyavi, actually," Kai answered, stepping forward to stand beside Aoi, "He called us and wanted us to come over as well."

"Well where is he right now?"

"In the livingroom making out with Reita," Aoi stated bluntly, to which Ruki giggled cutely. Kai shoved him gently in the ribs for his outburst, but he was still smiling nonetheless. Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to his honey-brunette guitarist, and sighed as he shoved his palms in his back pockets.

"Is he finally eating now?" Kai asked, referring to the plate beside Ruki, "Reita told me about his… condition… I…"

"Yeah," Ruki cut his leader off, "Yeah, he's eating. Makes life easier on my part," the vocalist sighed, before shaking his head, not caring whether Uruha actually listened or not. He seemed rather bothered and tired, and that was exactly how Ruki was feeling right now. Everything was just messed up inside his head. It just added up to his worries. A messed up guitarist, a delayed single, a nagging management, lack of sleep, stress, unfinished album covers, plus he wasn't feeling that good. He stood up, bent down to kiss Uruha gently on his cheek, and walked out of the room, passing Kai.

"Hey! Ruki-san - !" the drummer had wanted to call out, but stopped in mid-sentence as Ruki turned around and gave him a tired look.

"I'm gonna go check Reita and make sure he doesn't make a mess of my kitchen or livingroom," he sighed, explaining since he could already guess Kai's question, "You coming?" before turning back around and walking out the hall. Sighing, Kai shook his head and followed Ruki out, jogging a tad bit since he could sense that there was something wrong with his vocalist. Watching his boyfriend walk out the door, Aoi let out the breath he was holding and let Kai out. He could also see that there was something wrong and he could sense that Ruki was actually close to tears. Why that was he couldn't really find out. Turning his attention to Uruha, he walked over and sat beside him, taking the plate and putting it away. Uruha had in the meanwhile already gathered his knees to his chest, hugging it insecurely with his chin resting on his knees. His eyes were still empty, and somehow, the sight was simply killing Aoi.

"Yo, Uruha-kun," he called, gently smiling and fixing his gaze onto the brunette, but all he got in response was a shift from Uruha's eyes, who fixed its mahogany orbs onto him, but that was it. There was no other movement, no other sign of life, that was _it_. Sighing, Aoi decided to try again.

"Oh come on, don't give me that cold look, you're scaring me," he added in gently, "I came all the way here to meet you, you could at least appreciate it by looking at me?" he tried to coax some movement out of the brunette, but still, nothing happened. Aoi bit his lower lip and moved to touch Uruha's hand, to check whether the kid really was still alive, and finally, slowly, Uruha moved. He turned and faced Aoi, with his hands laid onto his one leg that was on the bed while he left the other dangling off it, his gaze still rather emotionless even though it wasn't that blank anymore. The melody guitarist gave a satisfied smile and brushed his kouhai's cheek gently with the back of his hand. "That's it… It's much better to talk like this, ne?" he smiled, staring right into the eyes of his kouhai who seemed to gain a bit more interest into the conversation, "So, how you've been holding up? Are you still not over him yet?" he asked, but as usual there was no response.

Aoi pursed his lips, "Uruha?" he called, and after a few minutes, Uruha finally gave a very small, barely-there sigh, and gave a teeny-tiny shake of his head to answer Aoi's question. No, he is still not over Kanon and he cannot forget him for the time being. The raven seemed to be able to understand his feelings, though, and he merely gave an understanding look.

"Is it too hard?" Aoi asked again, and this time Uruha openly nodded. I mean, how could Aoi even _ask_ that? It's obviously more obvious that anything in the world! He had done too many things to hurt his lover, he had left him behind without a single explanation, stayed quiet to him, and now when they had met each other again, he couldn't hold onto the love they had, he couldn't protect him, he couldn't be there by Kanon's side, telling him everything's gonna be alright even though he knows it won't be; he had hurt him too much! And Aoi's now asking whether it's too hard for him? _Of course it is_!

"You're feeling guilty aren't you?" Aoi tried again, and all he got this time was another curt nod. It was obvious that Uruha was feeling very guilty as Aoi saw the shifty eyes as if the honey-brunette was trying to look back into the past, regretting every single thing he did, wishing he could undo it and start all over again…

"But why? Uruha, can't you tell me why?" Aoi asked, determined to have Uruha do more than just nod. Uruha obviously shook his head violently at Aoi's request, but as always, when the Aquarius male was determined, he will do anything to get it done, even it takes a lot of patience, which he usually doesn't have. So he deeply inhaled, calmed himself down, and gathered his courage to reach out. He gently stroked Uruha's now limp, unkempt hair, and kept on talking.

"Why not…? I don't see why you can't…?" he tried, deciding that to provoke Uruha may be the best way to make him talk, "I just don't see it. It has nothing to do with you, I do not think that you were wrong, I think it was his fault," Aoi stated bluntly, and at this, Uruha's stern gaze shot up, not daring to believe his ears, Aoi words. His eyes started to faintly show hurt, disbelief, pain, anger, and all kind of emotions. But at this reaction, the older raven actually started to feel a bit happy. So it's evil to say it, but was it wrong to say that he was happy to see the emotions in Uruha's eyes, after the long days of having to stare into a quiet, blank pair of eyes? It hurt the raven's heart, that he had to be saying these awful things, knowing that he was speaking ill of someone he was fond of, knowing that he was stabbing Uruha's heart, feelings and soul.

"It was his own fault, Uruha. If he had told you sooner, you could've done something about it. If he hadn't lied to you, if he had the will to run after you, then years ago everything wouldn't have been like this! If he'd only…" Aoi pushed on, but he was suddenly cut off.

"It wasn't his fault! It wasn't, it wasn't, it _wasn't_! Shin-chan didn't do anything wrong! It was mine and mine only, Aoi, _mine_!" Uruha shouted out of the blue, referring to Kanon with his real name, leaning forward angrily as he drove his fist into the mattress in front of him with rage. How could Aoi say that? He didn't know anything, _nothing_! It wasn't Kanon's fault _at all_! He was still a kid at the time, and he still is now! Uruha was the older one, Uruha was the one who walked away from him! Uruha was to blame, not Kanon!

Obviously, saying that Uruha was outraged is an understatement. And Aoi knew that as soon as he captured the enraged, frustrated, wild look in the honey-brunette's eyes, and seeing Uruha beat up the mattress like that actually started to scare him. Sure, he finally got a reaction out of the beautiful Gemini male, a _real_ reaction, but was this the reaction he had expected? Giving Uruha an outlet to his rage was good, _great_ even, because pent-up emotions can cause severe stress but using acts of violence wasn't really the first choice of outlet Aoi'd choose. Angry tears had even started to form in the rim of Uruha's beautiful mahogany cat-like eyes. If this continued, the Gemini beauty could end up hurting Aoi… Or maybe even himself.

Aoi knew that he had to stop this.

"Hey, hey, hey," Aoi reached out, grabbing one of Uruha's wrists forcefully, "Calm down, love. You could hurt somebody, or even yourself. Hey! Stop it, Uruha, stop it!" the raven demanded, pulling Uruha to his chest by that one wrist, "Kouyou! Yamero yo!" resulting into the younger one burying his sobbing face into Aoi's left shoulder with his wrist on his own chest, Aoi still holding it. But you wouldn't call the honey-brunette Uruha if you'd think that he'd give in just like that. Still frustrated and insecure, the beauty started to thrash around in Aoi's hold.

"Let me go! Yuu!" he yelled, demanding for his senpai to let him go, repeatedly punching Aoi's other shoulder in rage, tears starting to fall in a beautiful stream across his smooth cheek. Even though Aoi did wince at the painful punches, he didn't let go of Uruha's wrist, but merely stayed still, waiting for Uruha to calm down.

"You don't know anything!" Uruha continued, "And you dare blame him and say it was all his fault? What do _you_ know? All you see is that he's just another musician, don't you see what he means to me?" the honey-brunette kept on punching and yelling as Aoi continued staying silent as a statue.

The others suddenly came rushing in, bunching up at the entrance of the room, panicking as they heard the yells coming from Uruha's room. They were of course surprised when they saw the crying, angry Uruha punching Aoi's shoulder with everything that he's got, and Aoi noticed them standing by the door. Kai gave him a questioning, panicked look, but Aoi merely answered with a small shake of the head, closing his eyes as he did, indicating that the four of them should just stay put and let everything go with the flow.

In the meanwhile, Uruha's punches started to become weaker and weaker and his sobs started to become louder, as Ruki's guardian angel started to realize how comfortable it was in the Aquarius' embrace, how secure he felt, how he felt as if everything was alright. He felt as if his late lover was here with him, he could feel him, he could taste the scent of his perfume, he could feel the tenderness… It all was just… There. Too overwhelmed, Uruha started to feel so weak he stopped his punches and finally just sat there in Aoi's embrace, crying his heart out onto his senpai's broad shoulder. At this, Aoi noticed that Uruha had started to calm down so he slowly moved to put his free arm around Uruha's shoulder, embracing him tighter, stroking the younger one's honey-brunette hair soothingly, hushing him in a motherly way, trying to calm him down.

"Hush, hush… You're right, I don't know anything. I'm sorry Kou, I didn't mean to blame Kanon… But I didn't know anything… How could I know if you won't tell me?" Aoi spoke up on a calm whisper, trying to get the conversation going, "Would you please tell me?" he requested gently, and he waited patiently for Uruha to answer, because this time, he knew that Uruha will speak up.

"N - Not now," Uruha answered through his hiccups, still slightly crying, "La - Later. I - don't wanna…" but he seemed to be unable to continue his sentence so Aoi shushed him again and smiled to himself.

"Daijoubu na, wakarimashita. Just tell me when you're ready, ne?"

* * *

Aoi sighed as he closed Uruha's bedroom door behind him a good fifteen minutes later, walking out through the hall and into the living room. When Uruha was going through his emotional breakdown earlier, the other four had of course seen everything, and it was obvious that whatever Aoi did - cause they didn't know that Aoi actually_ provoked_ Uruha - meant progress for the rhythm guitarist. Crying and talking were at least apparent signs of life and it was better than nothing at all. They had all moved to the living room when Uruha had calmed down and Aoi had motioned for them to go.

"How is he?" Kai immediately asked, getting to his feet as he sensed his lover enter the vicinity. The other three immediately stood up as well, worry etched on their faces, curious as to what had happened in the room earlier. It was relieving but worrying as well; of course they had seen the emotional break down coming, but they had never actually imagined that Uruha would go and use violence to the people around him… And to think that he ticked off just because Aoi talked to him…

Aoi sighed, "He's doing fine, guys," he answered, curling his arm around Kai's waist as the drummer approached, "He's finally talking and he promised to tell me everything when he's ready… But if we had to do it by this means then it's simply exhausting."

"Well, at least you've succeeded into bringing Uruha 'back to life', so to say…" Miyavi smiled a little as Kai guided Aoi onto the sofa he was sitting on earlier and the solo-guitarist sat back down beside his lover and Ruki.

"It's more progress than what I -" Ruki spoke up, but halted as he realized what he said, "I mean, than what _we_ had managed so far," the chibi Aquarius rephrased his words quickly, his eyes showing a certain uncertainty. The vocalist surely hoped that nobody really noted what he had said earlier - even though he suspected Reita to be the world's best listener. Luckily, though, Kai spoke up just in time before the bassist even had the time to open his mouth and think Ruki's words over.

"Yes, it certainly is…" Kai mumbled in thought, "Maybe Uruha's admiration towards you is playing a role in all this, Ao-kun," the drummer suggested, fixing his big, sweet, chocolate-soft brown eyes on his lover, "Or you're just such a sweet talker that whatever you said had managed to trigger Uruha-san's emotions," the mother of the band shrugged, "It's either one of the two."

"Wait wait wait, _admiration_?" Aoi repeated, ridiculing his lover's usage of words, "Uruha doesn't admire me, come on!"

"Yes he does," Miyavi grinned teasingly, agreeing with Kai, "It's not that obvious, but you'll notice if you'd try," the solo-guitarist hinted, but Aoi merely frowned at the answer and seemed more confused than earlier. A sigh was suddenly heard from Ruki, though, as the young one seemed to understand what Miyavi was saying.

"Yeah, whatever, that's not important right now, alright?" the small Aquarius waved in dismissal, "What we have to figure out right now is how to keep this progress up," he stated clearly, looking around, "So do any of you have an idea?"

There was nothing but silence for a few minutes, seeing as they were all thinking over what to say, until Reita suddenly brought his hand together loudly and exclaimed, "I've got it!" quite loudly, his eyes bright accompanied with a smile so huge it rivalled the open bedroom door.

"Got what?" Miyavi chimed in, and Reita turned to face all of them in slight excitement, even though it could clearly be seen that he's very serious.

"Well, seeing as Aoi's the one who managed to breathe some life into him, what do you say if he stayed here for a day or two, to see how everything will go?" the bassist suggested with a huge smile, "With Kai-kun's permission, of course," he added in, locking eyes with Kai, who seemed to be weighing the options, "If it turns out that this was just a coincidence and it's just about time that Uruha had his emotional breakdown, Aoi'll just go back home. But if there _are_ obvious signs of improvement…"

"Then Ao-san should stay here until Uru-kun's all better, no?" Miyavi continued for his boyfriend as he could read Reita's thoughts, to which said bassist nodded.

"So, how about it?"

Silence ensued for a long time, with Aoi and Ruki seemingly very uncomfortable, Miyavi and Reita optimistic, and Kai pondering over his bassist's offer. He knew what he had to win and what he had to lose. But he also knew that he couldn't and shouldn't be selfish. The band had to go before any other personal things. The Scorpio drummer finally shrugged and sighed, leaning into Aoi's embrace a bit more.

"Well?" Miyavi spoke up, and Kai took another deep breath before answering.

"I guess," he replied curtly in defeat, and that made Ruki frown.

"'You guess' what?"

"Well, yeah, I guess it's okay," Kai explained, "If this can make Uruha better faster then why not?" the drummer shrugged closing his eyes as if showing the others that his decision was final and there was nothing nobody could do about it, not even his own boyfriend, who of course, immediately protested.

"You're serious?" Aoi exclaimed, surprised, "I mean, you're letting me _stay_ here?" his tone sounding somewhat happy, even though it was obvious that he himself didn't realize it, "Like, for _real_?" Suspicion of course seeped into Kai's thought as he heard it, and he opened his eyes as he softly glared to his older lover, his chocolate-brown eyes clearly hinting that he could attempt bloody murder at any moment now.

"Well, yeah," Kai replied, suddenly noting the slightly suspicious tone of excitement in Aoi's protest, "But not for long," he added in bluntly, his eyes searching Aoi's for a change of emotion, "Just… for a day or two, maybe three, to see how it goes. If his condition is really improving then I guess you should stay here until he's fully recovered."

"What?" Aoi groaned, "Oh come on guys, you can't possibly be serious! If Uruha thinks I'm his dead boyfriend then putting me here will just worsen his condition, no?" he tried to convince them, but their responses showed that there was no way they were going back on this one decision. Ruki had merely shook his head tiredly, Miyavi gave him a grin that clearly said he's fucked, and Reita merely glared.

At the unified word against him, the raven melodist suddenly felt cornered and pursed his lips at the glare his bassist was giving him and glared back. He had wanted to protest but Ruki suddenly spoke up with his eyes curious and confused… and focused on Aoi. Silently cursing inwardly, the raven tried to look calm the best as he could and sat up to reply to Ruki's gaze.

"Ano, Aoi-kun?" the owner of the infamous golden pants spoke up.

"Hai?"

"Ano… How did you…" Ruki trailed off, fidgeting with his fingers before continuing, "I mean, how could you've come to the conclusion that Uruha-kun mistook you as Kanon-san…?" he asked hesitantly, searching Aoi's eyes in slight apprehension, "I mean, you just said that Uruha thinks that you're his dea - I mean, _late_ boyfriend…"

"Oh, that…" the raven bit his lip, "Well, uh, it's uh, kinda obvious…" Aoi answered elusively, "By the way he acts and all… He kinda called me Kanon, actually… So uh, yeah. Kinda obvious," but it was also obvious that Aoi was fidgeting with Kai's fingers, which he was holding onto at the moment, and it was clear that Aoi was covering something up. But because of the tension and uneasy feeling, Ruki decided to not bring the matter up anymore and just leave it be.

A few hours later, the four members of GazettE plus Miyavi had decided that it was time for them to go home. Reita decided to come along with his boyfriend since Aoi was going to stay, whereas said raven had promised to come back after he had gathered his stuff from home. And so here he was, sitting in his car behind the wheel with his pondering boyfriend beside him in the navigator's seat. They hadn't talked much on their way back to the place the two of them called home, and they were now actually half-way there. It was actually quite obvious that they were both lost in their own thoughts but neither of them seemed to have to the willingness to break the silence that slowly started to grow more intense between them.

At first.

"Ne… Ao-kun…?" the sweet-faced drummer finally spoke up as he finally gave in to the one nagging thought stuck in his mind, "Why did you lie to Ruki-san back there?" he asked finally turning to face his older boyfriend with huge, curious eyes, placing his hand upon Aoi's which was currently on the gear. They were just crossing a bridge and many people were crossing over on the zebra cross, as well.

"Hmm?" Aoi replied, seemingly thinking, "When?"

"When Ruki asked how you knew that…" Kai hesitated, "Well, how you knew that Uruha thought that you were… Kanon-san…" the drummer continued, feeling Aoi's hand suddenly tense up a bit, "It's okay if you don't wanna answer, its just that I kinda feel -"

"No, no, it's okay," Aoi cut Kai off, "I just felt rather awkward thinking about it…" he sighed,

"About what?"

"About Uruha…" Aoi sighed, "Earlier, when he finally calmed down and stopped crying, he just laid there and finally ended up sleeping with his head on my lap," the raven explained, feeling a bit uneasy as he knew Kai's jealousy symptoms could come up at unexpected times, "When I was sure that he had slept, I moved him, tucked him in, and went off. But when I wanted to go, he suddenly took my hand and murmured something that sounded a _lot_ like, 'Shin-kun, hitori ni shinaide…' or something of the sort…" the Aquarius explained, turning round a block and into a tunnel.

"And Shin-kun is… who?"

"Shin-kun is Sano Shinya, a.k.a. Antic Café no Kanon," Aoi answered as they exited the tunnel and entered some sort of housing complex, "And I had to do some serious convincing before the half-asleep kid finally let go of my wrist," he sighed, taking his hand off the gear and putting it on the steering wheel while the other hand supported his head with its elbow on the door.

"And the serious convincing included _what_ exactly?" Kai asked with a grin, his hand back on his lap now, his eyes focused onto the road. His mind was still half on the whole Aoi-moving-in-for-a-while-thingy since this new piece of information actually made him worry quite a bit. He knew that Uruha _really_ liked Aoi and idolized him a lot. He even knew that the honey-brunette came to Aoi for advice and stuff like that quite often, and he had also noticed that his boyfriend actually _did_ have a certain soft spot for the Gemini beauty. Plus the fact that the chemistry between the two of them does exist… Miyavi was right. It's wasn't exactly obvious, but when you'd try and look, it's actually there.

"Well… Stuff," Aoi answered elusively, biting the corner of his bottom lip, "I had to shush him up a bit… Y'know, like, what a parent does when their kids have nightmares?"

"Yeah, which of course includes a stroke of the hair and a soothing goodnight kiss," Kai stated bluntly, his smile clearly indicating that it was all just incredulous to him, staring out of the window, his mind still quite occupied. Should he just go back on his decision and decide to _not_ let Aoi stay? The Aquarius raven himself didn't seem to comfortable with the idea either, even though it wasn't exactly clear as to why he felt that way… But if he acted that way, wouldn't it be selfish and unjust? As a leader didn't exactly mean that all decisions lay on him; it was all just for the sake of formality and chivalry! Didn't Kai always say that it was up to the guys? Sure, he had all the rights to cancel this decision but… Besides, it was actually three - no, _four_, Miyavi voted too - against one; Kai himself was always neutral… But Aoi's uncomfortable answer shook him out his thoughts.

"Well, yeah, kinda… More or less like that… Y'know I wouldn't do anything out of bound, ne, Yu-koi?" the melodist answered as he turned around another corner and finally reached the place they called home.

"Oh, don't start and call me with your nicknames, it won't help," Kai laughed as he took off his seatbelt, "But I've really thought it over," and he leaned over to Aoi's side and kissed his cheekbone before gathering his small stuff and getting out of the car, leaving his boyfriend frowning inside the car.

"Hey, Kai, wait," Aoi called, finally getting out of the car, locking it with the alarm and placing his arm around Kai's surprisingly small waist, "What have you thought over?"

Kai halted and waited until Aoi had come to his side, hugging his waist before walking towards the front door of their house, answering, "I've thought over my decision of letting you stay there over at Ruki's… But there's just one thing that I need to know, actually…" he trailed off, unlocking and opening the door, walking inside, "What is it exactly that made you protest so fiercely back there?"

"Ah, wakarimasen…" Aoi frowned, "In normal Japanese, please?" he requested as Kai kicked off his shoes, copying his lover's actions and closing the door. Kai chuckled at the request and turned with a sweet, though tired smile as Aoi walked over and pinned him to the hall gently, the older one's arms placed beside Kai's head, resting onto the hall wall.

"What I meant was…" Kai started, smiling nervously at Aoi's suspicious grin as the Aquarius invaded the drummer's personal space, "Why did you seem so uncomfortable when the others suggested for you to stay there?" he asked, placing his palms onto Aoi's chest, "Shouldn't you be glad to help Uruha out? You used to be very fond of helping him out of tight spots… Why not now when he needs you the most?"

At the very obvious statement of slight jealousy, Aoi sighed a smile and moved to kiss the nape of Kai's neck as a makeshift reply instead, although the small slap that Kai gave him on his chest and the chuckling that sounded like music to his ears clearly said that Kai won't take any makeshift replies as an answer.

"Aoi…!" the younger one giggled, pushing his lover back a bit, who complied and sweetly smiled.

"Well, I just don't feel comfortable with it somehow," Aoi answered truthfully, resting his forehead onto Kai's, looking straight into the younger's ones eyes, "I just have this gut feeling that _something_ is bound to go wrong…" and Kai could see nothing else but sincerity in Aoi's eyes and words.

"What… What do you think is going to go wrong, then, Yuu-kun?" Kai finally managed to breathe out in an audible whisper as he suddenly started to notice that the gap between their faces was starting to lessen by every passing second. He knew what Aoi was aiming on doing, and he somehow found himself half hoping for his lover to _not_ go on…

"I don't know…" Aoi mumbled, their lips now touching, "But if it's going to hurt you…" and he didn't finish his sentence as he now fully crushed his pouty lips against Kai's thin ones, not having to bother and coaxing them apart as his younger lover automatically granted access. They merely stood there for the next few minutes, kissing in the hall before Kai broke the kiss as the unavoidable need for air came up, breathing heavily with lidded eyes, trying to speak.

"…"

"What…?" Aoi whined, beating Kai into talking, moving to kiss the nape of his neck once more, to which Kai only gasped and giggled. It was funny, really, the situation they were in. Kai was actually feeling rather suspicious with his lover's actions as he seemed to be making excuses and refused to answer questions without beating around the bush, and that's exactly what Aoi'd do when he's keeping secrets… Kai knew that Aoi knew _something_ but simply refused to speak out loud. Smiling inwardly as he thought over Aoi's now childish acts, he decided that he know had to stop the game this romantic Aquarius was playing on him and focus on their rhythm guitarist instead, no matter how much Kai actually enjoyed this.

"Y'know…" he started, breathing in sharply through his nose as Aoi startled suckling and nibbling on his sensitive skin, "We only went home to pack your stuff up, not go - Ah!" Kai gasped as he could feel Aoi's calloused but tender fingers sneak up beneath his shirt, "Not go around playing and coming back to - tomorrow!" the drummer managed to finish his sentence as it seemed to be very hard for him to talk and get distracted at the same time. The warm palm that rested itself on his stomach was slowly going downhill and it felt really, really -

"Uruha can wait," Aoi answered through kisses, his left hand starting to move up Kai's shirt as the other went down his waistband, "I'm going to _not_ meet you for a few days," and his kisses started to move up to the Scorpio's jaw, "Maybe even more. So I'd better take my share now, ne?" and he muffled any upcoming protests Kai might have as he claimed his lips once again in another heated lip-lock.

And in the end, Kai never did find out about Aoi's opinion for the worst case scenario on this matter.

* * *

Ruki moved his fingers through his bleach-blonde hair as he sat by the kitchen table, his mind in a jumble. It was already nine in the morning but he had just finished his shower and was now merely waiting for Aoi to finish his. The breakfast that lay on the kitchen counter behind him was merely a huge bowl of macaroni and cheese, something quite unusual for a Japanese-family breakfast, but he couldn't care less as that was the only thing quite simple enough for him to make. He didn't want to think much and he didn't feel like talking either.

Aoi had returned at one a.m. this morning with a sheepish grin and the excuse that something important had come up. Noting the radiant blush on his face, Ruki could quite guess what that important matter was and hadn't commented anything on it. He had merely shown Aoi his room to stay in - which turned out to be Reita's old room - and had then trotted back to Uruha's room where he had slept in while he waited for Aoi to come back. Earlier, Uruha had actually woken up only a few minutes after the others had gone home and had silently refused to go to sleep unless Ruki was there to accompany him. The chibi's guardian angel had then hugged him possessively in his sleep, and that had now become a part of the few things that Ruki pondered about.

The vocalist knew that his feelings for Uruha had to be put aside on second place now; the guitarist's health stood before everything. But even though that, he couldn't help wondering whether it was Kanon or Ruki that Uruha had imagined when he had held him in his sleep… It kinda hurt, actually, to hear the nagging voice of truth in the back of his mind that told him exactly what he _didn't_ want to hear; Ruki knew the painful answers to the questions he asked to himself. Kanon had more chance of occupying the guitarist's mind.

_Why do I still think of things like these…_ Ruki sighed a she slumped on the table, _I know it's irrelevant, but…_

"Yo, Taka-chan!" Aoi greeted as he entered the vicinity, "Oha… yo… Ne, daijoubu desu ka?" he asked as he noticed Ruki's drowsy face. The vocalist seemed even dimmer as he looked up, observing Aoi's cheerful radiant face. The melody guitarist seemed calm, collected, grounded and smart as always, and Ruki realized that those factors are exactly the things that Uruha look for in someone. Kanon was like that, wasn't he? The late bassist was calm, collected, smart, patient, attentive, smart… Everything that Uruha wanted.

_Quite unlike me…_

"Ru-chan?" Aoi called again, "Daijoubu~?"

"Un, daijoubu desu…" Ruki replied drowsily finally sitting up straight as his senpai sat down, his hair still damp from his shower, "I hope you like macaroni and cheese?" he offered, standing up and walking towards the huge bowl of breakfast, taking three bowls from the cupboard above it and spooning in the meal into the bowls, "I don't know whether you've tried it, but Uruha said that he could tolerate the funny taste and I wasn't in any mood to make anything else," he explained, leaving one bowl empty and taking the other two, almost-full bowls to the kitchen table, "Kai must make a lot of things for you at home, huh?" and placing it in front of Aoi, who took the spoon in between his long fingers and stirred the contents.

"Yeah, well, he likes to cook, but I'm not saying that his meals are _always_ delicious," Aoi smiled politely, "But I'd like to try macaroni and cheese; when Toshiya came home from L.A. he had told me that one of the weird stuff he ate there was this."

"Oh?" Ruki perked up from his bowl, swallowing his food before answering, "You still keep in touch with him?"

"Yes, of course I do, even though he's quite busy with his band and Hizaki… So yeah, we're keeping it cool but we maintain our communication," Aoi nodded, spooning up his breakfast, "Why? Aren't you guys still going out together?"

"Well, not exactly…" Ruki sighed, "Uruha didn't really like him and you _know _how cold he could get to people he doesn't like… So I just stopped going out with him cause Uruha's almost always keeping an eye on me," the chibi admitted, sighing, "He's giving me headaches."

But Aoi just laughed at the statement, "Who? Kouyou?"

"Who else? He's really confusing me… At one point, he doesn't seem to care a bit and is too busy with either you or Reita to notice anything about me," Ruki said after swallowing his macaroni and cheese, "but on the other side, he's always telling me this and that and could get very possessive!" the vocalist complained with an adorable pout before taking another bite out of his breakfast.

"But why should that confuse you? If you don't like it, then just say it," Aoi smiled, wanting to see Ruki's reaction, "I'm sure that he'll stop if you tell him to," advising something that was quite obvious and took in every single change of emotion that showed itself in the youngest one's eyes. As he had expected, the blonde Aquarius seemed to be quite hesitant, confused and uneasy, as if he were searching for a decent answer.

"Ruki?" Aoi called, the tone of his voice clearly indicating that he wanted to have a clear answer. Shaken out of his thoughts, Ruki chuckled nervously as he answered while messing up his hair cutely.

"Ah, no, I don't really mind, it's just another form of attention, isn't it?" Ruki answered even though he himself seemed unconvinced by his own words, "Even though it's quite annoying…" he added in a mumble, "But that's how brothers are supposed to be like, ne?" he finally smiled, but his senpai actually frowned at his last statement.

"Mm, I guess," Aoi seemed to agree, "But it seems to me that you think more of Uruha than just a brother," he tried, grinning devilishly to himself, inwardly. People might call him mischievous, _very_ mischievous at times, and Aoi knew that very well, but he also knew that his impishness might bring some very interesting and unexpected results and answers that could be quite useful for some people. The way he talks is just so alluring, so elusive, that it makes it easy for him to coax anything he wants out of people.

And Aoi knows that _very_ well… As Ruki doesn't.

"Well, yeah, I guess that's true," Gazette's vocalist answered nonchalantly with a shrug, "I think I'm actually…" but the blonde trailed off as something seemed to click in his head when Aoi's grin turned very wide, "Hey wait a minute!" he exclaimed, realising that Aoi had tricked him into saying what he had just said, but it was already too late as Ruki had already blurted it out, "That's low, Aoi-kun. Seriously," the vocalist pouted, crossing his arms with his spoon still in his right hand.

Aoi just laughed, though, and apologized for it, "Haha… Alright, alright, I'm sorry! But it was just so obvious and it got me so curious… I wanted to hear it straight from you, though, so I had to do it. Sorry though, Ru," and Ruki finally sighed, shaking his head. He opened his mouth to say something else but halted when another presence suddenly graced itself in the vicinity that people call kitchen. Looking up, the two recognized the morning beauty as their rhythm guitarist Uruha, looking quite awake and alive though he still has an aura of gloominess around him. Registering his other kouhai, Aoi smiled broadly, invitingly.

"Ohayo!" he greeted, and Uruha's eyes widened slightly in surprise at the fact that Aoi was there, in his apartment, in the morning, having breakfast with him and Ruki… Stretching out a hand, as if inviting him to come over and sit beside him, Aoi continued talking, "Did you sleep well?" he asked attentively, his smile broadening as Uruha did comply to the unspoken invite and sat down beside Aoi on the kitchen table. The tall Gemini gave a curt nod, answering Aoi's former question, still not speaking a word. His eyes seemed to avoid his senpai's the whole while, and he finally rested his orbs onto his chiyu-kei as if looking for help. Quite catching the meaning of those weakly pleading orbs, Ruki forced a smile onto his face and rose up to his feet, walking towards the kitchen counter which held the large bowl of macaroni and cheese.

"Yokatta," he spoke up, breaking the short silence as he spooned up the food into the smaller, empty bowl beside it, "And this is your breakfast," he announced as he placed it right in front of Uruha on the table, "Macaroni and cheese. Hope you like it."

"Ah… Arigato," Uruha answered in a barely audible whisper, but his other two band mates caught it nonetheless and it was obvious that that had suddenly became more alert and bright; their guitarist had finally decided to start talking again!

The morning then progressed cheerfully, different than from what it had been a few days ago, where the aura around the house was still gloomy, a dark cloud hanging all around everyone. But now, it seemed as of the cloud has lifted just by Aoi's presence and Uruha's recovery; everything almost seemed to be getting back to normal. The day progressed further until five hours or so passed. Aoi and Uruha had already perched themselves in the livingroom by now, sitting together doing their own stuff while Ruki had been chatting with his co-designer Bara about his Before I Decay single cover. Everyone was busy with their own stuff, until Aoi then stood up and made way for the bathroom at the exact time Ruki came in the living room and went outside on the patio to get a better phone signal. Ten minutes later, though, the sound of breaking glass and a missing Uruha gathered Aoi and Ruki in the living room, frowning and looking around frantically for their rhythm guitarist, whose voice finally cursed out loudly from the kitchen. Without a second thought, the two GazettE members entered the kitchen vicinity to only find their honey-brunette guitarist sporting a pair of bleeding fingers with shattered glass by his feet.

"Oh my gosh~ Uruha, what did you try to do?" Ruki spoke up, sighing tiredly. Behind him also stood a sighing Aoi, who was shaking his head. The elder one took a deep breath and then moved towards Uruha, crouching in front of him to then pick up the glass pieces, gathering them in the palm of his open hand.

"Ruki, go help Uru clean his wound.. I'll take care of the kitchen…" he ordered quietly in a calm way, and Aoi could hear the two of them shuffling away as he picked up the last shards before getting onto his feet and putting the glass remnants away in the bin, washing his hand off in the sink afterwards. Whatever had made Uruha drop a glass Aoi wouldn't know but he decided to not ask about it since Uruha obviously didn't want to talk just yet… Either that, or Ruki might've already coaxed the answers out of the brunette.

Running his fingers through his own black, soft and slightly damp locks, Aoi let out a huge, audible puff of breath as he vaguely thought of Kai back home and how the sweet raven was doing… His lips turned into a smile as he walked out from the kitchen and back into the living room, his thoughts flying back to the very pleasant memory of last night's events… But the sound of footsteps approaching took Aoi out of his pleasant daydream and the Aquarius beauty turned around to find Ruki rolling his eyes near the very sofa Aoi was sitting on.

"What is it?" the melodist asked, noting the look of annoyance on Ruki's delicate face, "Did he tell you anything?"

"Yes, he did," Ruki answered half-heartedly, "He was feeling dizzy so he wanted to get a drink but let the glass slip out of his fingers," the answer came sarcastically, "Just perfect, ne? His depressed state had made him sick and we're stuck here taking care of him!"

"And what's wrong with you?" the raven raised an eyebrow, curious at the statement, "I thought you cared a lot about Uruha, hmm?" Aoi commented, frowning at Ruki's snappish attitude. What was wrong with the young one? He was always the one to tolerate anything and everything that Uruha did, so why was he so pissed about it now? Or was it something else that had made him angry?

"I do!" the blonde defended himself immediately, "It's just that it's all pretty unnecessary, ne? He could've waited for you to come back, or ask me for help, or -"

"You were on the phone, Ru," the older Aquarius stated, "And you were obviously too busy with Bara-san to even notice the phone call twenty minutes ago, so it'd be logical for Uruha to option for the not bothering choice," explaining to his vocalist, but the latter pouted and crossed his arms in a stubborn manner, opening his mouth to defend himself.

"Well yeah, but he could still ask you instead of -" but he then paused, "Wait a minute," Ruki realized out of the blue, "The phone rang?" he asked, having just registered said fact, and frowned as his senpai calmly nodded, "I didn't hear anything," the chibi stated innocently as Aoi laughed, "Oh don't laugh, Ao-kun, who was the caller? My mother?"

"No, fortunately, it wasn't. It was Yamashita-kun, your photographer? He wanted me to tell you that the details you wanted were unclear for him or something, and that you'd either have to come along to the cover shoot at three or you'd have to call him again and explain him everything again," Aoi shrugged, and it was then where Ruki let out a string of curses under his breath, and ran off towards the kitchen where the phone was located. The act made Aoi frown more, but at that minute, Uruha came strolling into the vicinity, so Aoi had no choice but to approach the honey-brunette and get him into the livingroom before he reached the kitchen.

"Hey -" said subject wanted to protest, but Aoi shushed him with a squeeze of his shoulder and a shake of the head. The young one caught the hint, but still shot his senpai a questioning look. The answer given was curt, though.

"Ruki."

"Doushite no?" Uruha asked rather timidly, but Aoi just sighed and sat the rhythm guitarist down on the couch, shaking his head.

"He's freaked out by his tasks," Aoi explained, "And also by _you,_" he added, making Uruha frown cutely, "So don't you scare us again like that, understand? Don't break stuff. What if those glass shards hurt you?"

"They did," Uruha stated calmly, raising his injured left hand - which was now neatly bandaged - to which Aoi chuckled. The raven took Uruha's wrist, taking the hand down, keeping it cradled in his hands as he rested both their hands in Uruha's lap.

"Alright, alright, I get it. Main point; don't freak us out," he rephrased his earlier advice, and smiled as Uruha nodded and took his hand back, reaching for the remote and turning on the television, setting it on a random music channel where Kagrra,'s Urei was playing. The song of course caught both guitarist's attention seeing as they knew the band members along with the song and also because it happened to be quite a nice Neo-Japanesque song… The older of the two immediately gave an approving smile as he fully turned to face the television.

"Old song," Aoi commented, "But beautiful," and the raven Aquarius leaned back onto the couch, watching the PV with an interested gleam in his pretty eyes. Uruha's eyes were focused on the television too - even though he wasn't fully turned, still half-facing Aoi - but at first only, though. Halfway through the short more-or-less four-minute video, his beautiful mahogany-eyes have slowly turned to examine and take in - if not check out - every single change of emotion, every smile, every _breath_ that Aoi made and took… With no clear motive as to why he did that whatsoever. It just seemed… Intriguing. As if Aoi reminded him of someone that he -

"Fuck! Okay, okay, I'll be at the field in fifteen minutes!" Ruki suddenly stated loudly, angrily, as he walked out of the kitchen, his keitai suddenly attached to his ear, walking into the hall leading towards the bedrooms. After only a minute or two, said vocalist reappeared again, still keeping up with his irate statements as he walked towards the front door. He then flipped close his keitai with a huff, turning towards the two curious pairs of eyes directed from the livingroom couch in front of the television with a poisonous glare.

The sudden statement that he made had of course caught the attention of his fellow band members, but at the moment, Ruki didn't seem to care much. I mean, how could he ever care about that when his kameko can't get his intentions for the next shoot? It was simple, it had Ruki's usual taste, it had the usual hidden meanings, so what made this task so hard, so different? Had any of Ruki's cover shoots differ from one another? It all had the same deep meaning of restraints and regret and - Oh forget it.

"What?" Ruki snapped in an annoying manner as he then turned to fix his shoes, "Never saw me freaked out over a shoot before?"

"Uh, honestly?" Aoi replied with pursed lips, feeling annoyed also, "No," and Ruki turned back for a brief second at that sarcastic comment to only glare poisonous daggers at the older before turning back to his shoes. A very apparent killing aura radiated from the two contrast members and Uruha openly shivered. Seeing the tense air, the honey-brunette took a deep breath and decided to say something as well. After all, the two of them did quarrel indirectly because of him, right?

"Doko de?" Uruha chimed in rather timidly as he still had this urge to just stay quiet and not talk to anyone despite his efforts to break the ice, "Need a ride?" he offered quietly, but Ruki rolled his eyes and sighed exaggeratingly.

"_No_, I _don't_. I don't _need_ nor _want_ you to take me there because I then can't focus on what I'm _supposed_ to do there! You just stay home and stay here with Aoi-kun," the vocalist snapped before turning on his heels and going out. Somewhere, deep down in his heart he knew that his reaction was just over the top but he just felt like PMS-ing. Somehow. He knew he shouldn't be like this; Uruha's ignorance and quietness was already something very common and he had already gotten used to it. But after knowing that the album cover design never had reached Bara and that his kameko couldn't do anything right without Ruki beside him explaining every single thing made him pissed. He knew he shouldn't blame it all on Uruha's incapability of being independent at the moment, but Ruki was Ruki. He couldn't change himself. He needed an outlet, and any possible outlet was fine.

Bam goes the door and gone is the vocalist.

The two guitarists left behind could only shake their heads and exchange glances.

* * *

Maybe the fact that they are men or the fact that they're just picky about food plays a role in all this, but it still remains that even after four hours of being Ruki-less, the two guitarists managed to perch themselves in front of the television still, with the electronic still on while Uruha had his head neatly nestled onto Aoi's lap wit his eyes closed in slumber as said older raven absent-mindedly ran his fingers through the honey-brunette locks while reading a magazine from the stack of others beside his feet.

It was now somewhere around eight p.m. and the two of them still haven't eaten anything. Not that either of the two minded, they were both busy minding their own business. The only thing bugging Aoi was the time and Ruki's absence, but he kept telling himself that the blonde would be fine by himself and that his task at hand was just taking care of Uruha and making sure that he'd be back to normal again… The Gemini beauty seemed to be still hesitant to talk, though the reason behind it is still unclear.

Finally deciding that they had to eat sooner or later, Aoi let out a breath and turned to look at Uruha's sleeping face. He wanted to wake the angel up but didn't have the heart to do it. Optioning to give Uruha a bit more time, Aoi leaned back, completely ignoring the television as he calmed down and set his thoughts on his vocalist… Kinda late since he should've done that four hours ago, but he was just too busy with his stack of magazines! Anywho, he did wonder why Ruki was acting all pissed. He had seen the young one throwing fits quite often when things don't exactly go his way, but it usually happens for a very good reason. But now… Was he just tired? Was he having a breakdown too? Was it Uruha? Was it the cover shoot?

_Was it me?_ Aoi considered, not knowing from where the contemplation had arisen from, because as he thought it over again, said thought didn't have a point at all! What did Aoi do wrong? He stayed there because he had to, it was Ruki who agreed with the suggestion after all, so why the fuss? But even through all the logic, why did his gut feeling say something of the opposite…?

"Tadaima…" a silent voice came accompanied by the sound of an opening door, and the raven slightly turned, careful not to wake Uruha up, to catch Ruki coming in with a tired smile, holding a plastic bag in his hand as he took his shoes.

"Okaeri," Aoi greeted, "Why so late?" he asked in a motherly-tone, and Ruki smiled tiredly at it as he answered, walking towards the couch Aoi was sitting in.

"The shoot had gone a bit wrong but I could manage…" he sighed, "But I got you guys some Chinese take-out?" he smiled, leaning over the couch, "Where's Uru -" Ruki started, but stopped as he saw his guardian sleeping peacefully in his senpai's lap, and a flash of unknown emotion passed in his eyes, "Oh."

It came as fast as it went, and therefore Aoi couldn't exactly distinguish what emotion it exactly is… Though he highly suspected it to be sadness. His train of thoughts were interrupted, though, as Ruki suddenly obviously forced a happy smile on his face and murmured something about preparing dinner as he then trotted off to the kitchen with his plastic bag. Suddenly feeling uneasy and guilty as if it was his fault that Ruki went emo, Aoi gathered his guts and gently woke Uruha up.

"Ne, Uru?" he gently called, "Sleepyhead, wake up," stroking Uruha's cheek, but still getting no response, "Ruki's home, love, time for dinner," and Aoi conjured a loving smile as his honey-brunette kouhai finally yawned adorably, fluttering his eyes open as he tried to wake up fully. When he saw Aoi's gentle face upside-down with his raven hair falling in his eyes, Uruha seemed to be quite a bit startled and shocked as his beautiful mahogany eyes widened before he seemed to calm down and take in every single inch of Aoi's features.

"… Um… Shin…?" he spoke out softly, seemingly hesitant, and Aoi seemed to be startled by the name for a moment before he quickly recovered and brushed Uruha's bangs out of his eyes. Smiling gently, Shiroyama Yuu shook his head.

"No, it's Aoi," he told his kouhai sweetly and he could visibly see Uruha's confusion in those mahogany orbs. Were Aoi's calculations correct and Uruha really was mistaking him for his late boyfriend or was there just a random similarity that both Aoi and Kanon possessed? But if there were, then what were they?

"A - Aoi?" Uruha repeated, frowning as he seemed to be slightly befuddled by the suggestion, but the mentioned guitarist merely nodded.

"Yes?" Aoi answered patiently, his tone as if asking what Uruha required, his face calm and kind, not showing what he was really thinking inside. To be honest, he was perplexed. Why would Uruha seem so startled knowing it was him? Is it because he was seeing Aoi's face upside-down or something? Or was he expecting someone else?

"Nothing," Uruha smiled a genuine smile, "Never mind," he halted his sentence as he sat up, turning towards Aoi, "Arigato."

"Arigato?" Aoi frowned, "What for?"

"For staying," Uruha explained, "I'm comfortable now," he smiled, and then he stood up and went straight for the kitchen as if knowing that Aoi will automatically follow him, which Aoi of course did, even though he still had questions running through his head. It had only been his first day here and Uruha was already acting weird. Feeling more energetic and at ease with surroundings now, Uruha seemed brighter than the last few days, even though he still talks in curt sentences. Breathing in the fresh smell of food, Uruha came to realize that he was actually starving, and he stopped at the kitchen entrance, waiting for Aoi to catch up before entering the kitchen together.

"Konbanwa, minna!" Ruki exclaimed in a cheery voice, "I've got the basic Chinese take-outs; Fuyunghai, Capcay, and all of these other stuff which names I can't pronounce; just take whatever you guys want!" he smiled as he waved towards the heaps of bowls and plates on the kitchen counter, "Itadakimasu~"

"What are you, the new chef?" Aoi commented, chuckling as he shook his head but stepped forward to take some food nonetheless with Uruha following behind him. Ruki laughed at the statement. Fifteen minutes later, the three of them were seated by the table, talking through spoonfuls of rice. It didn't take more than twenty minutes to eat, and Aoi offered himself up to do the dishes when they were all done, indirectly ordering Ruki to take a shower and go rest. The vocalist complied to it, of course, and he walked out of the kitchen after a cheery "Oyasuminasai". Aoi hummed Shiroki Yuuutsu as he turned the faucet and let the water wet his hands before turning to get the sponge and soap when he suddenly noticed another presence beside him. A tall, honey-brunette presence that is.

"Uruha? What're you doing?" Aoi frowned as a small smile started to tug on the corner of his sexy lips, but the Gemini sweetheart just shrugged and soaked his hands into the streaming water as well.

"Helping," he answered as curtly as he had before, and halted all kinds of talking as he waited for Aoi to soap up the plate before taking it from the nimble but calloused fingers and rinsing it off. The same procedure happened to ever single ceramic, glass and utensil until it was all clean and drying in the dish rack beside the sink. When they were done, the two men then rinsed and dried off their hands before turning away to get back to the livingroom.

"It's a mess in here," Aoi commented as he looked around the place. Their dishwashing had involved quite a few splashing here and there, resulting into slightly damp hair, partly wet pants and water-splattered shirts in the end, but none of the two seemed to mind it. Aoi loved water anyway and Uruha just seemed so happy playing with said element.

"Mm… Slippery," Uruha agreed with a nod and curt answer to which Aoi giggled. When you've known someone for seven years at close proximity you would know when that person is changing, and it's just simply funny when you know exactly that that said person is changing in a total opposite way of how he used to be. Uruha's way of talking may be complicated, but never in the seven years of knowing Uruha had he ever heard the man talk in such curt sentences or in simple words. It was just funny… and it _sounded_ funny, too.

"Yeah. _Slippery_," Aoi repeated, to which Uruha smiled, "Let's head back, ne? I'm sleepy and you really need your rest," the raven offered, and moved to head out… When he suddenly stepped on a small puddle of water and fell backwards. Luckily, though, Uruha's reflexes were sharp and he swiftly caught Aoi by the waist just in time before the Aquarius fell on his butt or hit the sink with his head. Automatically grabbing Uruha's shoulder, Aoi took his time in recovering as his breathing had turned erratic and his chocolate-brown eyes had gone wide in shock.

"Daijoubu?" Uruha asked after a minute or two, leaning in a bit as he slightly pulled Aoi up, "Mm?"

"Aa… Mm… Mm-hmm…" Aoi nodded slowly as if his brain was trying to catch up with everything around him, eyes still blinking. It was obvious that he tried to calm himself, and he parted his lips to talk… To only find himself at a loss of words when he met Uruha's gentle mahogany orbs. Why, he didn't know. But he was just so fascinated by the understanding and breath-taking gleam in those eyes…

_Not to mention his lips…__ GAH! What am I thinking? Baka, baka Aoi!_

"Ao-kun?" Uruha called one more time as he caught his senpai staring at him. He felt rather uneasy with Aoi's stare, but also kind of comfortable at the same time. It was weird… And since when did Aoi look so pretty with his hair falling in his eyes? The missing lip-ring also made him seem a lot more smarter, lately… What with his attentiveness and calm attitude… It reminded Uruha of something, _someone_… Trapped in each other's eyes, the two were captivated by each other with none knowing why…

And Uruha had suddenly found himself leaning closer towards his senpai, with said latter not doing a single thing to stop him. Of course, on the inside, both guitarists were yelling, _"What the hell am I doing?"_ but actions that reflected said thought didn't happen. Uruha kept on decreasing the gap between their faces with his breathing starting to get irregular, while Aoi also seemed to be willing to just get the whole thing over with. They could hear their heartbeats beating loudly in their ears, many thoughts running through their heads, but they just simply didn't seem to pay any attention to it.

When the gap between their lips were only an inch away, Uruha seemed to _really_ hesitate as if realizing that there was something wrong here, taking a deep breath… But his thoughts were interrupted as he felt soft lips crush his. Aoi had leaned up and pecked him quickly purely out of curious impulse, but he soon seemed to regret his actions as his eyes widened more than it had before and he gasped around for words. An uncomfortable silence hung around them, Uruha not being able to ask for an explanation, before Aoi finally managed to find his voice back.

"Uh, yeah, well uh," Aoi tried to speak, bringing up a logical excuse, now pulling himself up to his feet, "We should really go to sleep," he finally said, and he took a blushing Uruha's hand to drag him back to the halls that contained their bedrooms. The rhythm guitarist seemed to be as flustered, confused and embarrassed as he himself is, and it somehow brought Aoi a slight relief to know that at least Uruha felt guilty about it. He let go of Uruha's hand as they reached Ruki's room, and the act made Uruha frown questioningly.

"I'm checking on Ru," Aoi answered his kouhai's unspoken question, and as he entered Ruki's slightly open bedroom door, he could hear Uruha's soft footsteps following him inside the room. Ruki had his back towards them, his body seemingly curled up beneath the blankets. His breathing was steady and he seemed to be deep in sleep; the sight made Aoi smile like a proud parent, somehow.

"He's sleeping," Uruha mumbled softly, and he gently brushed Aoi's hand - almost wanting to _hold_ it - as an indicator to get out of the room and leave the sleeping chibi vocalist in peace. Nodding to say that he understood Uruha's meaning, Aoi allowed Uruha to lead the way. They got out of the room and Aoi gently closed Ruki's bedroom door, walking away towards him own room to stay for the days, passing Uruha's, when he suddenly felt calloused but nimble fingers gently grasping his wrist. Frowning, Aoi turned to find Uruha with pleading eyes, and Aoi almost dreaded to ask what was wrong.

But he asked anyway.

"What is it? Did you forget something?" Aoi continued, trying to coax out an explanation from his kouhai, and Uruha finally let go of his hand as said rhythm guitarist took a very deep breath and parted his pouty lips to talk.

"Hitori ni shinaide," he mumbled, like a barely-there whisper, and to be honest, Aoi was _stunned _to hear it. Weren't those the words he had said in his sleep…? What did they mean… What were they _supposed_ to mean?

"Wait, Kou… _What_?" he asked, needing a clear clarification out of his guitarist's words, and Heaven knows that no justification would come out from curt sentences nor simple words. Nobody could manage_ that_. But oddly, Uruha could.

"Hitori ni nemurenai," were the only words he gave as an explanation, "Can't sleep alone," and strangely, it made sense. Sighing, Aoi lowered his head and thought. There wasn't exactly any harm in merely _accompanying_ Uruha to sleep since - from his observation - Ruki has been doing it a lot lately and has succeeded into coming out of it unscathed, so why won't Aoi give it a chance? But then again, there was still the Kai-factor that kinda told him not to do this, but wasn't Kai the one who told him to stay here and watch over Uruha so said guitarist could get better quicker?

_What to do, what to do…_

"Aoi?" Uruha called timidly as if waiting for an answer, and the aforementioned raven Aquarius finally look up and gave a small smile, nodding.

"Yeah, sure," he agreed, and Uruha's eyes brightened up visibly. He eagerly took his senpai's hand and lightly dragged him to his room. If Ruki wasn't already asleep, Uruha would've requested for said chibi vocalist to accompany him but he didn't want to disturb him, recalling his outburst about the shoot and such; he seemed really tense and needed some serious rest. So picking Aoi won't be a bad idea, ne? The raven was his senpai, they were close and Aoi really understood him. If only Uruha had checked the other side of the bed and seen Ruki's damp, wide, not-yet-asleep eyes that had seen the event in the kitchen, he'd think twice about his choices.

* * *

Morning came.

Uruha could feel the sunshine brushing his face, tingling his closed eyes, but he still wouldn't wake up. He simply didn't want to. He felt too comfortable, too calm, too good to be true and he didn't want to let go of this secure feeling. But he knew he had to anyway. Letting out a content sigh, he tried and fluttered open his eyes gently, not ready to fully expose his still-sleepy eyes to the sunrays just yet. After succeeding into adjusting his focus and get used to the light, Uruha realized that he was actually facing someone's black-shirt covered broad chest and was actually in someone's arms. Now realizing why he felt so comfortable and not remembering a single thing about what happened last night, Uruha looked up to see the face of his protector and was honestly quite surprised. He frowned and tried his best to recall last night. He was sure he didn't do anything… Though he did remember a kiss in the kitchen - but he couldn't remember whom he kissed - to which he blushed at. _I shouldn't have done that_, he thought, but he'd be lying if he said that he didn't enjoy it. That person's lips felt really soft and the kiss somehow didn't feel forced – even though there was this nagging voice in the back of his head that told him said chaste act was wrong.

Looking up once again, he decided that pale smooth skin and black long hair weren't enough hints to indicate who his embracer was, so the honey-brunette moved up a bit more to try and fully see the face of his captivator. But when he saw those slightly parted thin but pouty lips, cute nose and calm, deep-in-slumber closed eyes, he was at a total loss of words since he knew that he recognized this person better than anything else in the word.

"Shinya…?" he mumbled out in disbelief, and he lowered his face closer, cupping the raven's face in his warm, big but slender palm. He gently brushed the sleeping raven's pale cheek, not daring to believe his eyes. Was Kanon really here with him, embracing him in his sleep? Did he come back for the honey-brunette, did he decided against leaving after all? Ecstatic, Uruha smiled in disbelief, thinking that it was just simply too good to be true. His mind was raving from the joy, clouded in delightedness; his smile was so wide it could rival the Grand Canyon. Leaning in closer than before, he gently touched their lips together sweetly, just to make sure whether this was really real, not just a dream, and a spark of life ignited in Uruha's eyes as he felt those pouty thin lips against his own full ones.

But ofcourse, said act resulted into waking of his raven-haired lover, and Uruha backed off a bit as he let Kanon stir, yawn and gracefully stretch out like a cat would do, with the rhythm guitarist doing nothing but watching him with an adoring smile. The bassist finally opened his eyes wide and awake, and turned to face Uruha with a small sleepy smile, showing pure contentedness. But that smile quickly faded and his eyes showed pure curiosity and slight suspicion as those just awoken eyes met Uruha's orbs which also started to show hesitancy. Those eyes weren't the eyes Uruha used to know. The orbs he used to gaze in were always tender, understanding, loving, childish, sweet, innocent, and it always has that certain tinge of hidden something that always had intrigued Uruha more than anything else. But these chocolate eyes he were gazing in showed yes, tenderness, understanding and it was sweet in a way; but it was not childish and it was certainly not innocent. These eyes were the eyes of a mature person, who had been through many things in his life, though it was also calm in a way. It was like looking into the eyes of Kanon's older version.

"Shin-chan?" Uruha called out just to make sure, but said raven looked more surprised, confused and uncertain than Uruha himself when he heard that name being called.

"What did you call me?" the Kanon-look-a-like spoke up, frowning as he supported himself on one elbow, "Shin-chan?" he repeated, the surprise and confusion suddenly turning into a look of realization and slight horror. He seemed to suddenly grasp the situation around him and it doesn't look too good for his cup of tea by the looks of it.

"Yes, you're Shinya… Aren't you?" the honey-brunette stated, "Kanon?" sounding as if he was trying to convince himself more than the person lying in the same bed with him. The elation in his mahogany-brown eyes were starting to dissolve and a heart-breaking gaze filled it instead. Was it really just a dream?

"_No_, I'm not," the raven stated, "I'm your senpai, your guitarist, Shiroyama Yuu, remember?"

"Shiroyama - Aoi-kun?" Uruha repeated, outwardly at a loss for words. He stayed still, now with a daydream-look on his face, seemingly regretting a something that Aoi could guess. Sighing, he leaned forward and cupped Uruha's delicately sad face with both of his palms, gently forcing his kouhai to look at him. _He's beautiful even though captured in sorrow…_

"Yeah, _Aoi-kun_, not Kanon. I'm not him, Kou, I'm not," Aoi repeated, seemingly regretting for breaking the ugly truth to his beloved guitarist. He looked straight into Uruha's eyes and kissed the tip of the beauty's nose lovingly, soothingly, "He's gone, love, don't be trapped in the past too much," he whispered, still maintaining eye contact. Those lost eyes searched into his, looking for God-knows-what, deeply, desperately, until tears slowly started to pool in those beautiful mahogany eyes. It didn't take long for them to spill over as the two of them sat there in completely silence; not even ragged breathing could be heard. Uruha's tears glided over his smooth cheeks one by one with their gazes still locked together, and at this point Aoi was so confused he couldn't do anything else but stare back.

_What a wakeup call_, he thought, cursing the fact that he just had to be woken up by a kiss from his gorgeous bandmate - who happened to _not_ be his boyfriend - having to be mistaken as said bandmate's dead boyfriend, and also having to break the ugly truth to him and being the shoulder to cry on, all happening in - Aoi glances at the clock - seven in the morning! Could this day get any worse? But just as he thought it, a small sob escaped Uruha's lush lips and this was when his stunningly emotionless doll-like mask shattered into a face that reflected pure sorrow. His shoulders shook and his breathing became uneven; Uruha was now really crying and Aoi was at a loss on what to do. The day had just gotten worse. The raven forced his still-sleepy brain to work and because he still couldn't come up with anything he just decided on the first best thought that showed up his mind; what he always did to Kai when said drummer was upset, sulking or crying.

"Hush, don't cry," he whispered in a sigh, brushing his thumb beneath the younger one's eyes, wiping away a tear gently before embracing Uruha soothingly, stroking the honey-brunette locks in a way that Aoi hoped could calm him kouhai down. The rhythm guitarist had placed his chin on Aoi's shoulder as he held onto said melodist in loss. What was Uruha to think, to believe? One way or another, no matter whom he wanted this person holding him to be, in the end when he got out his bedroom door, when he finally had to deal with the truth, he'll eventually lose everything. So what did he have to do now? Hold onto a dream?

"Kou, please don't cry," Aoi sighed as he allowed the younger one to hold onto him very tightly, "You've got to learn to let things go…" the advice came rolling off his tongue automatically since he didn't know what else to say and the words "Everything will be alright" just seemed such a cliché… Uruha didn't stop though, and all Aoi could do was roll his eyes in desperation. Why did it have to be Aoi, anyway? Sure, he always had a soft spot when it came to Uruha, but come on, he barely knew anything about his kouhai! Why couldn't it be Reita? That nose-banded bassist knew almost everything about this kid, from his favourite underwear to the way Uruha's brain worked!

"Why couldn't you just stay…" Uruha suddenly spoke up through hiccups, his sobs decreasing as his hold on Aoi's slim body tightened. Aoi could only sit still and allowed the boy to do whatever he wanted since Aoi himself was also starting to get tired of this… Moving a bit to shift Uruha to a better position before kissing the honey-brunette's forehead, Aoi's eyes glanced towards the door as he felt a sudden chill; and was utterly speechless when he found a wide-eyed staring Ruki standing by the entrance. He opened his mouth to say something, but the minute Ruki's name escaped his lips, said vocalist turned on his heels and left as Uruha's body tensed in Aoi's embrace. The young one turned immediately at the name, being able to just catch a glimpse of Ruki's bleach blonde hair before his eyes turned wide in fright. Seeing that, Aoi frowned, his curiosity having been awakened. Why does Uruha seem to frightened, uneasy? Wasn't he crying over Kanon just a few seconds ago?

_What's going on through Uruha's head?_

_

* * *

_

Ruki forced himself to calm down as he breathed in the chilly morning air, standing on the patio. He felt hurt. He did, and he knows the cause, but he forced himself to just ignore it and try to calm down. It was all in the process of Uruha's health, and there were things that needed to be sacrificed. Ruki's feelings, Aoi and Kai's time, and Reita's… Okay, so Reita's out of the sacrifice category, but Kanon happened to be one of Reita's close friends too, so Ruki guessed that it's okay for him this time…

_Besides, Uruha was crying, Ru, so they couldn't have done anything, could they? Even though they were both obviously under the covers…_ _Gah! Don't think like that damn it!_ Ruki told himself, and he took one final last breath from the fresh air before turning back into the house; it was getting cold… It was November after all and he had lots of things to do until New Year and Christmas. Sometimes Ruki hated his job, but hey, he had fought for it and he had to live with it… Entering the livingroom with a sigh, he spotted an uneasy Aoi appearing from the halls, gently dragging a quite dishevelled-looking Uruha into Ruki's sight.

"Ohayo," Ruki greeted the two, and Uruha looked up with a start, seemingly holding Aoi's hand tighter as said raven guitarist gave a small smile and returned the morning greeting.

"Ohayo," he smiled, "Nice sleep?" Aoi offered, and Ruki nodded for an answer as he motioned for the two to follow him into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I guess," the blonde murmured as he took a glass and poured water into it for himself, Aoi copying him, "How was your night?" the blonde asked, sounding rather sarcastic in Aoi's opinion, but the raven tried to not make a huge deal out of it. Instead, he just shrugged and answered.

"Exhausting," Aoi sighed rolling his eyes, handing over the water-filled glass in his hand to Uruha, taking another empty one from the cupboard when the brunette accepted it, suddenly realizing what Ruki's question meant and that his answer sounded rather suggestive. As Ruki observed, he could see that Uruha's eyes were slowly starting to puff up and go red because of his sobbing - Ruki obviously noticed the shaking shoulders - but he had also noticed the sudden strange aura radiating from his two senpai… Secretly wondering - or rather, arguing with himself whether he should ask or not, Ruki gathered what was left of his sanity (which wasn't much) and decided to just get it over with. He was curious and he wanted to know!

"Aoi-kun, you don't look too good," Ruki piped up, trying his best to sound completely innocent, "Are you sure you've had enough rest?" he suggested, and Aoi turned to him with a strange look before he conjured a smile on his pretty face, moving to sit down beside Uruha as Ruki placed bread on the table. Ruki _knew_ that he had just caught a glimpse of _something_ but what the heck was it? He was curious, curious, curious! He was also still a bit miffed by last night, he had heard the conversation on the hall and he cursed himself for faking his sleep… But even if he didn't…

"Yeah I'm sure," Aoi reassured Ruki when the blonde turned to take a tray out of the cupboard, the tray containing butter, peanut butter, strawberry jam and sprinkles that were obviously for the bread. Aoi knew what Ruki had meant and he didn't want his vocalist to get any ideas. Smiling at the service Ruki showed, Aoi secretly wondered whether every morning went like this, with Reita and Uruha emerging from the halls together, laughing and looking messed up with Ruki in the kitchen ready with food… He wasn't envious, no not really; his life with Kai was similarly "harmonic" though he did sometimes wish to have a third person in the vicinity.

He was rather jealous of the Kanagawa men, to be honest; they seemed to be such a happy family! They often seemed like brothers, Reita and Uruha being the oh-so-contrast-twins with Ruki being the baby brother. But they often seemed like a real family, with Reita being the always-spoiling fun dad while Uruha was the tolerant and quiet mom whereas Ruki was the child who always looked for attention to mom but would turn to dad when he needed some serious pampering…

Ruki's voice snapped him out of his happy-family daydream, though.

"Help yourselves," Ruki shrugged, not really giving much attention towards Aoi's answer from before, but then again, the raven seemed to have forgotten his own question already! The chibi vocalist reached towards Uruha's face and flicked a strand of hair away from said guitarist's eyes making them lock gazes for a while. It seemed to Aoi as if they were exchanging some kind of secret message with each other silently, because the minute Ruki broke the gaze Uruha sighed quite audibly and reached out for a knife on the table and started to help himself with his breakfast, while Ruki was busy with making coffee. Frowning and feeling quite curious, Aoi decided to just reach out and help himself to breakfast, too. Ruki soon joined after he had made coffee for the three of them but somehow Aoi couldn't help but notice the awkward aura slowly creeping into the vicinity.

As predicted, the rest of the morning didn't go well. Uruha kept on fidgeting and seemed to be unable to decide whether he wanted Aoi near him or not, Ruki was supposed to be meeting Kai in an hour for an interview or something but he kept stalling time and finally requested for said band leader to pick him up while Aoi himself was just so bothered by it he decided to just give up and not give the situation around him any attention. He didn't know why but he didn't feel socializing right now. He just sat on the livingroom couch, alone, as Uruha was busy with something in his room.

The sound of polite rapping at the door managed to catch his attention, though, and Aoi stood up with a sigh as he dusted off his pants and walked off to the front door. He suspected that it was probably another pack if Ruki's friends or most likely Reita who was too lazy to open the door by himself. But what he didn't suspect was to meet the face of his current lover, standing rather fidgety by the front door as if hesitating whether to stay or just go back home. By the look on Kai's face, it was easy to say that Kai didn't expect for Aoi to open up the door either. The two of them seemed forgetful, where Aoi forgot that Ruki actually requested Kai to pick him up whereas Kai forgot that Aoi was over at Uruha's place.

"A – Aoi?" the drummer stuttered out, seemingly rather confused, the two of them looking as if they've passed each other in a mortuary, or any other weird place in Japan. They stared at eachother for a moment, Aoi not being able to find his voice nor gather his thoughts cause it keeps running away, until Kai then timidly smiled, as if indirectly asking for an answer.

"Uhm, Kai, uh, hi, what're you doing here?" Aoi finally managed to blab, and knowing that Kai knew that it was quite a dumb question, he could only manage to scratch his head sheepishly as he stood there, not knowing what to do, what else he should say. He knew that he should be happy that his boyfriend was here, but there were just too many emotions in his head that he couldn't make out which emotion to show.

"I'm picking up Ruki. We've got to take care of a few things and all… Sakai-sama is being very pushy lately," Kai answered, now seemingly more collected than his lover, and he smiled as he motioned for Aoi to take a step aside; he wanted to enter the house. Kai could feel Aoi staring at him as he took off his shoes, and the feeling slightly made him shiver. But he didn't know why he felt like it.

All of a sudden, though, Uruha walked in through the hall. The two ravens, who had of course caught his presence, automatically turned and looked up to meet Uruha's sudden shocked face. The rhythm guitarist stared wide-eyed at Kai for a moment before regaining his composure quickly and giving the drummer a nod that obviously acknowledged his presence before walking past the two of them and out onto the patio outside, clearly doing nothing seeing as the glass doors were transparent. The raven Scorpio, who had felt something odd in the stare Uruha had given him, merely frowned and decided to let the case rest for awhile, sensing that Aoi must've felt it too.

"That was… awkward," Kai let out a confused smile, "Um… Is he making any progress with you being here?" the drummer asked, having more than two reasons for asking. One, he really wanted Aoi to be back home ASAP because he felt uneasy at the look that Uruha had given the two of them earlier, and second, he actually felt kinda odd at why Reita couldn't be the one here babysitting Uruha. Sure, what Miyavi said was right, Uruha does adore Aoi a lot and Kai knew that his lover was the one who managed to make Uruha let out all of his emotions but it still kinda puzzled him. Well either that or Kai wasn't actually keen on letting Aoi go but then Kai beat himself inwardly for thinking that.

_Don't be so selfish and think of others! The sooner Uruha can get better the sooner Aoi can come back home!_ he told himself.

"Umm, well yeah, he started eating by himself… He talks too now," Aoi replied, breaking Kai's concentration. Kai raised his eyebrows at the information and smiled genuinely this time.

"He talks? Really?"

"Well, yeah," Aoi said sheepishly, scratching his head, "Only in short curt sentences, though, consisting of only a word or four, but… That's progress, ne?" the older raven smiled sweetly, not knowing what else to explain, because there really wasn't anything else. He had only stayed in this place for a day or two - he forgot - and the only real significant thing that stuck itself in his mind was the sleeping events and what Uruha had said earlier in the morning. But that wasn't exactly something that he could outwardly and bluntly share to Kai now, could he?

"Yeah, I guess that's quite a progress…" Kai agreed, eyes suspiciously searching for Aoi's as he had noticed the worried gaze, "And I guess it was a good choice to let you stay here - What's wrong, love?"

"Huh?" Aoi immediately looked up, and tried his best to look normal, "Nothing, nothing… I'm listening to you, I am, I'm thinking you words over," Aoi excused, and Kai pursed his lips, not wanting to buy that excuse so easily but he finally decided to drop it and sighed.

"Alright then… How have you been holding up the last two days?" he asked gently, walking forward to hug his taller lover, "I missed you and it's only been days."

Aoi chuckled, "Yeah well, I missed you too love," he replied, hugging Kai back, "But the band comes first before everything, ne?"

"I know…" Kai pouted, "And I hate that sometimes," he stated, looking up at the Aquarius with adorable huge eyes that nobody could resist. Aoi smiled at the sight and leaned in.

"You're so adorable, you know that?" he whispered before he kissed Kai gently. The Scorpio was right, Aoi had been missing him too, even though he wasn't really aware of his feelings up until now, when he could finally taste Kai's lips again…

"Mmm," Kai suddenly broke away, shaking his head, "Nuh-uh, not here, I don't want anything to occur from only one kiss," the drummer sighed, rolling his eyes when Aoi seemed to want to protest, "I know what you can do, Aoi, don't try acting dumb about it," he stated bluntly, to which said guitarist smiled sheepishly. He knew that what Kai had said was right; he was an expert sweet-talker and he could make anyone do what he wants to… Including Kai who knew him more than anything and could see through him like a piece of glass.

"Okay then, I guess…" Aoi sighed, and Kai gave a pitiful sweet look before sighing.

"Anyways, I should really get going. Where's Ruki? I'm here to pick him up after all?" Kai asked, noticing the time as he glanced at the digital clock nestled upon the coffee table in the livingroom, and Aoi answered with a pout.

"Well, uh," the Scorpion's lover mumbled, "I think that Ruki's in his room… Do you want me to call him, or…?" Aoi offered, but Kai smiled and shook his head.

"No, I think I can make it on my own," he said, touching Aoi's arm, "Though I wouldn't mind if you'd like to accompany me," he added with a smile.

When Kai and Ruki departed for an interview - and something else, though Uruha couldn't catch what Kai had said to Aoi - Uruha had really wanted to get back inside the livingroom, but a voice that sounded suspiciously a lot like his ego somehow prevented him from doing so and he obliged to the voice. He didn't even know why he decided to take a detour out into the patio! He was actually about to ask Aoi _something_ - he forgot what he wanted to ask, that's weird - but seeing Kai there, just made him feel rather… Guilty. He didn't know why, but he just felt guilty, ashamed, shy - and angry? - that he suddenly turned speechless and decided to just go off and out into the patio; he had no business in the kitchen and beong in the livingroom just felt like… Suffocating. And he didn't have anything to do there either. Well, not like he had any out here, but still, it's better than just sitting around aimlessly in the kitchen.

Ruki was acting kinda weird, too. He had stayed in his room ever since breakfast, and he didn't say single word to Uruha afterwards, either. When the rhythm guitarist had followed him into his room, the blonde had merely ignored his presence. He had this sort of killing aura around him, a sad killing aura, and it made Uruha back off, out the room and into his own dormitories. Sure, he knew that he could've possibly have had played a role into turning Ruki so suddenly emo, but…

"Uruha?" Aoi's voice - Uruha _knew_ it was - called him from the glass sliding doors, his head peeking out from between the open gap, "What are you doing out there? Get in," the older raven slightly commanded, and with a sigh, he turned around and did as he was told, entering the house once again without a single word, without even the slightest bit of eye contact. Uruha just didn't feel like socializing now, somehow. It was weird actually, the way how his mood could change so quickly, the way he could notice that there was actually something wrong with him and his actions but he just didn't feel like correcting it. What was wrong with Uruha? Not even the guitarist himself could answer.

Aoi, however, took the silence and signs of anti-socializing as something that needed extra attention. It was just plain weird. Uruha was acting randomly, as if doing anything that fits his mood. Sure, Aoi had seen these kind of symptoms before, on Ruki usually, and sometimes on Kai and Reita but he had rarely seen it worn by Uruha. It was just… Unlike him. At all. The Uruha he used to know usually knows how to control his anger and mood, always focusing on what had to be done at the moment, or what lays ahead of him, or whatever just seemed fitting, the right thing to do at that exact second. What comes after, comes after. Uruha had even put sleep in second place! But now it's as if he'll just do whatever his heart felt like doing. And this simply made Uruha unpredictable in a bad way.

"Ne, Uru? Daijoubu desu ka?" he asked when he slid the glass doors shut, watching Uruha flop down on the red sofa, giving Aoi a shrug accompanied by a shake of the head as a makeshift reply. The raven Aquarius sighed, knowing that Uruha's makeshift replies could either mean that he was hiding something or that he was simply not in the mood to talk… And Aoi knew that Uruha was feeling both.

"Please don't go all quiet on me again…" Aoi pleaded softly, "I don't want you to be stuck in a rut again, Uruha… It's devastating to look at," the raven stated, and Uruha frowned at the statement, looking up with what seemed like hurt eyes. _Devastating to look at? _What was that supposed to mean? Did Aoi only stay here because he felt sorry and make the band okay again, and not because he cared? Did he only do it because Kai told him to and not because he wanted to? Uruha was miffed. He didn't know why, but he felt super-miffed about this, he felt kinda hurt. He knew he wasn't supposed to, didn't have the right to, and he did not want to believe that he felt something for Aoi because he simply _didn't_ feel anything - did he? - and his feelings only go to Kanon and Ruki but he just knew - or wanted to know - that this was unjust and… Since when did he turn so childish like this? And since when did felt similar feelings for both Kanon and for Ruki? Ruki was just his little brother, period. Uruha then realized that there was something very wrong with himself but he really wasn't in the mood for self-introspection anyway and so he pushed the nagging voice away and glared at Aoi challengingly.

"You don't care," Uruha pursed his lips, his gaze turning cold, and with a cross of his arms, the honey-brunette looked away, fixing his beautifully cold eyes onto a painting that Ruki had once made, which now hung right above the television. Aoi was obviously perplexed by the answer and he wanted to demand a real explanation, but after an afterthought, he knew it wouldn't succeed anyway. Uruha only spoke in a few words now and there was no use in forcing him to talk. Aoi sighed.

"Whatever. Have it your way," he shook his head, knowing that there was nothing he could except let Uruha calm down. He made his way into Reita's room, the room that was his for the moment, and lied down onto the blue-sheeted bed, closing his eyes and trying to think. The others were right; he did have the ability to make Uruha okay again, but the trouble was he didn't know Uruha well enough to communicate with him…

_But Reita does, doesn't he?_ his conscience grinned at him, and at that moment Aoi know to whom he should call help to.

* * *

Kai forced a gentle smile on his face as the interview ended and everyone made their way out of the 39 TV station's Studio 1. As usual, Ruki had chosen to not talk much and left the talking to Kai, and everytime he was being addressed to, the vocalist gave a small smile. Of course, the interviewers couldn't help but noticing the sudden vanishing of the GazettE right after their tours, but Ruki merely answered with a curt, "Subete wa ii deshita. Shinpai shinaide yo, minna-san," he stated emotionlessly, "Everything is all right. Don't worry, everyone. We _will_ release our single at the 7th of October on time," the whole while putting up that stoic face of his and that familiar half-hearted smile.

This was their last interview for the day (they've already had four) and the Aquarius had been entirely quiet for the past eight or so hours, and Leader-sama thought that it was maybe a part of his whole "emotional planning" - yes, Ruki had always been having these odd quirks - and the raven honestly thought that the younger one would quit it after everything was over. But unfortunately for Kai, Ruki had kept up his act even after the show, even after they exited the studio, and even after they entered the car. Ruki had wanted to drive so Kai let him, thinking that maybe he could get something out of the blonde by giving him what he wanted, but it turned out the opposite. Maybe it was because he was driving, but…

"Ne, Ru-kun?" Kai spoke up, wanting to at least start a simple conversation since Ruki's emo-aura was starting to make him uncomfortable, but Ruki oddly didn't respond. Turning to meet Ruki's eyes, Kai could see that his vocalist's thoughts were obviously somewhere else, though it was also partially focused on the road, but that was it. His head was fully occupied.

_Wonder what he's thinking….?_ Kai thought, and he made another attempt at bringing Ruki back to Earth.

"Ne, Taka-chan?" he called with the vocalist's real name, and it got Ruki's attention. The blonde had turned around with his eyebrows raised and his eyes filled with slight curiosity. Kai smiled as he read the question in those honestly childish eyes and cocked his head to the side.

"Why have you been so occupied?" he asked with a gentle smile, to which Ruki merely gulped at as he turned his attention back to the road.

"Um… I've just been thinking about Shima-kun, I guess…" Ruki sighed, a hint of admittance obvious in his voice. Kai frowned at the name and halted himself from blurting out a dozen questions at once. Wasn't Uruha doing just fine and making nice progress - according to Aoi - but then again, it did seem his lover was hiding something when he spaced out earlier… Inwardly sighing, the Scorpio raven calmed himself down and decided to voice out the most neutral question in the world…

"You mean Uruha?"

"Yeah…" Ruki sighed as he stopped by a red light, "He's acting kinda weird now."

"Weird in what way?" Kai continued, trying to make Ruki talk more, because he's now starting to have this kinda weird feeling… "Aoi said that Uruha-kun is starting to talk and eat, and he's opening up more too?"

"Well, yeah…" Ruki admitted with sigh as he changed the gear and sped past the now green light, "But it's all only towards Yuu-kun, anyway," he explained rather vaguely, keeping up the real-name basis - which meant that there was something bothering him - and seeming not wanting to talk much, "He's not changing much towards other people."

Kai frowned, "What, so you mean that he's only talking to Aoi?"

"Kinda like that," Ruki rounded off the conversation half-heartedly, and it then became totally quiet in the car. The vocalist's mind was back on its original track - wherever that may be - but the drummer's mind was on a totally new track; it was immediately filled with jealous thoughts. He shook them off as fast as he could, of course, but he just couldn't help thinking why Aoi forgot to mention that small glitch to him. Sure, maybe there wasn't time, or maybe it just didn't came to his mind, but still…

_STOP thinking like that, Yutaka! _Kai's inner mind snapped at him, _YOU were the one who made this decision, remember?_ And Kai knew that his conscience was right. Besides, he still remembered the rather obvious hint that Aoi had given him a few days ago, which obviously stated that he should just learn to put more trust into his lover…

"Yuta-kun?" Ruki suddenly spoke up, and it shook Kai out of his rather negative thought. Clearing his thoughts - and his mind - Leader-sama of the GazettE turned his attention to his youngest member and faked up a sweet dimpled smile.

"Yes?"

"Can I come home to your place?" the younger one requested, "I don't feel like coming home somehow… I'm not in the mood to see Shima-kun…"

And by the tone of Ruki's voice - and the way he started using real names - Kai had no other choice.

"Mochiron da yo," Leader-sama smiled gently, reassuringly, "Of course."

In the meanwhile, things are going _quite_ smoothly over at the Kanagawa household, where Aoi was being very tempted to throw things out the window while Uruha was being plain annoyingly quiet as he clung to an uneasy Reita. Yes, the nose-banded bassist had been called by Aoi to try and ask around what was wrong with the rhythm guitarist. Even though Reita wasn't exactly the type of someone that can make someone like Uruha talk, the bassist could definitely read his best friend and that was all Aoi needed; to find out what's wrong. But sadly, the only way Reita could do that was by searching Uruha's eyes, or by the way he talked or acted; and the latter had been refusing said eye contact, movement or any kind of reaction up until now. The honey-brunette beauty preferred physical contact; he was and is now still hugging Reita as if he were a life-sized teddy bear.

The feminine guitarist had almost driven Aoi to the edge of exasperation.

"Are you sure you didn't do anything to him?" Reita asked again for what seemed to be the umpteenth time, and Aoi rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time as well, talking as if Uruha didn't even exist in the room.

"Of course I'm sure! Why do you keep asking me that?" he half-snapped at the bassist, to which the latter slightly winced at.

"Gee, no need to bite my head off about it," Reita huffed as he went back to stroking Uruha's honey-brunette locks, "But those _are_ the only signs he's showing -"

"So dewa nai yo!" Uruha's muffled snap came from below Reita before said older Gemini could finish his sentence. Right now, the younger Gemini was hugging Reita's waist with his face buried in the bassist's abdomen, refusing to let go for apparently more than a few reasons.

"Well how could I know if you won't tell me what's wrong?" Reita sighed, feeling very annoyed, ceasing his gentle stroking, "If you don't wanna talk then you could at least let me search for it myself!" he demanded, but again, the younger one shook his head persistently and tightened his grip on the older one's waist.

Aoi sighed as he flopped down on the couch opposite of the two and laid back onto the leaning. _Great,_ he thought, _Now Uruha's acting childishly like Ruki_, which was obviously very unlike him. Aoi knew that what Reita was suggesting may probably be right, because Uruha was just fine the other night and he had just started to act weird after Kai had come along - Wait a minute.

_He _did_ act weird after seeing me with Kai… But why would _that_ be a trigger?_ Aoi pondered, and the hazy look became apparent on his face as he started to think thoroughly… Until he remembered a small glitch in the morning that made him realize it was a mistake for Kai to put him here.

"Aw damn," he mumbled, and a few minutes later, he was already out into the patio explaining everything to his bassist, freaked out. He knew it was a bad idea ever since Reita uttered the suggestion, and he was giving Reita every piece of mind he had. Said Gemini's reaction, though, as always, surprised him.

Nonchalantly, after a few seconds of thought, he opened his mind and said, "So he kissed you?"

_And n__ot to mention annoying_, Aoi grumbled at the back of his mind, and forcing himself to calm down by leaning over the patio's railing, he answered with restrained annoyance.

"Yes he did and he called me Shin-chan as well."

"Oh," Reita mumbled, and he pouted in thought for a minute, "Well, sheer bad luck I guess, but you have to go on with it anyway," the bassist commented with an indifferent shrug, and his friend could only gawk at him incredulously for a minute or two before he snapped out of it and tried with all the sanity left in him to not harm the younger band personnel.

Aoi was really miffed by now, "How can you act so calmly about this? If he thinks I'm his dead boyfriend, he will _never_ get over Kanon! You understand him better, why aren't you the one staying here? This is still your house anyway!" the Aquarius said heatedly, angry that Reita wasn't taking things seriously enough. Said Gemini seemed to notice this and changed his attitude, surely but slowly.

"Look," he sighed as he leaned onto the railing and entwined his fingers which lay on his lower abdomen, now turning serious, "I don't give suggestions without thinking first. Kai is too sweet, too motherly; if Leader-sama stayed here, Uruha won't be having any progress. Ruki is too selfish and childish to be taking care of Uruha. Besides, he's younger, and much less superior; he'd easily control Taka-chan, ne? And if it were me…" he paused, "Then there won't be a difference either," he concluded, now looking right into Aoi's gentle brown eyes, "I'm not a talker, Aoi-san, and I know Uruha too well. If I were the one staying here, he'd be able to say what he wanted, to hint what was wrong with him, without even telling me, despite the fact that our main goal is to make Uruha talk again and force him to try and reach everyone else to forget about Kanon… So…"

"So, what? Go on, I'm listening."

Reita gave a cocky grin, "So that's why you're here. You're a great talker, you care about him and he cares about you too, but you guys don't know each other well," Reita shifted his position a bit, "So this situation will force him to tell you and explain to you everything about himself, what he wants, what he feels, what's wrong with him…" and the blonde trailed off, clearly hinting for the older one to finish off the thought himself. Aoi merely stayed in silence, clearly digesting Reita's explanation.

"Okay, fine, I get it. But there is still one thing bugging me," Aoi sighed, giving Reita a slight challenging look.

"Which is?"

"How can Uruha mistake me as Kanon?" the Aquarius asked, and Reita gave a slightly secretive, mischievous smile. He sighed, averted his gaze to the open sky, thinking, before taking a deep breath, answering without averting his gaze.

"You're like him. From your appearance to the way you care about people, the way you talk, think, smile, almost everything. The only difference is that you're more mature and grounded. You can say no to people, you can stand up for yourself. Kanon can't. He never could, especially when it concerns the people he cares about. He's more childish, clingy in a way, but he's like you. He can also make drastic decisions that other people won't risk, just like you," Reita explained, talking more to himself than the tall beauty accompanying him, "When I first saw you, I had to admit that the first person that came to my mind was that boy."

Reita stopped talking, and silence ensued. Aoi was thinking, taking in Reita's explanation, whilst said bassist had torn his gaze from the sky. It was… Shocking, in a way. Shocking for the guitarist, at least. He personally had never thought that he had many in common with said late bassist. The younger one just seemed more cheerful, sweet, patient… Aoi couldn't really pride himself for having much patience, except towards strangers. After a minute of two, Aoi finally nodded as an indication of understanding, "Wakatta… So what's next then?"

Unexpectedly though, the bassist laughed, lifting himself off the railing and sauntering towards the door connecting the patio and the livingroom. It seemed as if he wasn't keen on giving a real reply to it, until he stopped in his tracks right before the sliding glass door and looked behind over his shoulders.

"There _is_ no what next," he laughed teasingly, "Just do what feels right."

Later in the afternoon, somewhere near 7 a.m., Reita left for home, surprisingly without much protest from his best friend guitarist. The bassist seemed rather glad that Uruha didn't do anything, though, and left without a real goodbye or anything. The left alone honey-brunette guitarist pouted his ducky-lips after the departing of his blonde soulmate and he retreated himself into his bedroom. Aoi didn't even bother following him; he just kept himself busy with his own stuff, occasionally checking up on his junior to only make sure he was okay and didn't do any weird stuff to anything - or anyone - in the room, and to call him for dinner.

3 hours or so passed and the only thing keeping Aoi from turning in to bed was Ruki's absence. He had already tried to contact said vocalist and his beloved drummer but their keitais were apparently dead. Luckily for him though, Kai called a half an hour later, a few minutes right before he had decided to just go out there and look for the two most important persons in the GazettE himself. Half-relieved, the tall raven reached for his phone and took the call.

"Kai?" he immediately shot into the receiver, and he could hear the sweet giggle from the other side.

"Haha, yeah," the drummer replied, the smile obvious through his voice, "Sorry for the late notice, I've just realized that I've left my keitai in the car to slowly die out of battery, hihi.." the forgetful Scorpio admitted, "What is it, Aoi-kun? Why did you call?"

"Ah, no," Aoi sighed in relief, "I was just wondering where Ruki was. He's still with you, isn't he?" he asked, and for a minute there, Kai sounded utterly confused, as if he were a mother who had forgotten where she'd put her baby. The Aquarius forced himself to just not go and break the silence by popping the question and just stayed silent.

"Ruki-san…" Kai finally spoke up, "Ah yeah, well, he's with me here," he said hesitantly, "He didn't wanna go home because he was… Um… He just doesn't wanna see Uruha-kun at the moment…" his lover explained in a motherly way, "Plus he's starting to go on this first-name basis so I think there's something wrong," and Aoi inwardly giggled at the thought of Kai being Ruki's mother and trying to hide Ruki's bad deeds from his father… _Gah! What is it with me and those weird thoughts lately?_ Aoi rolled his eyes, inwardly shaking his head, replying to Kai's explanation.

"Ah, sou…" he hummed, "Well, at least he's safe with you, ne? I've just had Reita come over by the way… I think you two should come by a few days after, when the shoots and all are over… It's something I think we should discuss…" he said, meaning what he said. Sure, he was also avoiding possible jealousy because he had a hunch on how Kai'd act if he found out that Aoi looked loads like Kanon… At least if the others were here, said drummer couldn't really do much, could he? It was tricky of him, but people needs tricks - and sometimes lies - to survive. It's like the blood running in our veins.

"Huh? Why, what is it? Can't you tell me now?" Kai asked, his childish side coming out, and Aoi laughed.

"No, I think I can't, love. You'd need to hear Reita's side of the story… He understands the situation better. Okay?"

"Mm… Okay… So me and Ruki are gonna come over?" the drummer asked for reconfirmation, and Aoi nodded.

"Yeah, that's about it."

"Oh, I guess it's alright then," Kai agreed, sounding as if he was on the verge of asking something, "I've things to tell and ask you guys too, maybe we should do it on Saturday? Saturday morning? I could call Meevs for you?" the dimpled sweetie offered, and Aoi frowned.

"Meevs?"

"Yeah," Kai said as-a-matter-of-factly, "He was there when we initiated the plan, and he's such a rikaisha, an understanding person, and he's smart, ne? Besides, I doubt that he'd let Reita out of the house on a Saturday," the younger one giggled cutely, and Aoi had this sudden thought to just abandon Uruha here alone and go back home.

"Hm, okay, then you can call up the Kabuki Boy for me," Aoi laughed, "He accepts you as his mother anyway, so I guess he'd do whatever you'll say," he commented, and Kai laughed. The cannons of laughter didn't last very long though, and surely but slowly, silence slowly crept in between them. It was weird, really, he was never out of conversation with his lover, but this time his brain's just plain blank. He couldn't figure out anything else to say, but…

"Um, ano, Aoi-kun?" Kai started.

"Hai?"

"I think I have to go now," he said uneasily, "I was kind of cooking with Ruki and I don't want him to burn up anything, so…"

"You wanna go?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

Okay, now this was awkward. Very, very, awkward. They never hung up on each other like this, they usually ended the phone call because the house phone was ringing, or because the cooking in the kitchen is burning, or because it was raining outside and they've forgot to get in the laundry… Never because they ran out of things to say. As quiet Aoi and Kai were, they always had something to say to each other. And Aoi knew that what Kai had said about cooking with Ruki is a simple excuse to break the uneasy silence and get it over with. This knowledge hurt him a tad bit, but there was no avoiding it.

"Well… Um, bye then…" Kai finally said awkwardly before hanging up on his lover without waiting for a reply. Aoi could only stare at the phone in his hands for a few minutes, dumbfounded as he listened to the beeping sound of the unconnected line, and he somehow felt… Nothing. No emptiness, no guilt, no uneasiness, no nothing.

_Something is definitely wrong with me,_ Aoi concluded, _Taking care of a person can't affect you this much, can it?_ he thought to himself, but then again, he reconsidered that statement. This is Uruha he's staying with. No matter how calm, quiet, and normal-looking that kid might seem, many things can happen if you hang around with him…

At the thought, Aoi sighed and shook it out of his head. He shouldn't really think about it. There are things that you should dwell on and there are things you shouldn't even think about. With one last glance at the livingroom around him, checking whether the stoves in the kitchen weren't on and making sure that both the front door and patio door were locked, Aoi made his way into the bathroom and took a long hot shower to get his mind off of things. He had always loved water and said element could always calm him.

After a half an hour or so, clothed in his usual sleeping attire, the melody guitarist exited the bathroom feeling more relaxed than before and went into Reita's room, the room he was currently staying in, for a goodnight's rest. But his steps halted in the middle of the hall as he heard rustles from the open bedroom door beside him. Frowning - and also realizing that it's actually Uruha's full-purple room - the tall Aquarius refrained from walking towards his room to stay in and went the other way, peeking through the open door. He saw the honey-brunette curled up to his side, his back facing the door, but it was obvious to Aoi that his junior was not sleeping. He was thrashing around silently, a clear case of sleeping problems. A small grin graced his lips, and the tall one entered the vicinity, with gentle steps. As if sensing the older one's presence, Uruha's body stiffened immediately, making it seem to some people that he really were asleep. But Aoi knew him better.

"Na na, I know that you're not really sleeping, kouhai," Aoi said in half-cooing manner, his emotions having brightened up, "What's wrong?" and without a second thought, he sat by the younger one's back, and peered over to see his face. Smiling at the sleeping act Uruha insisted on keeping up, he leaned over and began tapping the younger one's nose gently, repeatedly, until Uruha got sick of it and sat up, pushing Aoi's hand away with the back of his hand, an adorably annoyed look visible on his face as he stared at Aoi.

'Nani?' his eyes seemed to say, and Aoi chuckled at the cute sight.

"Can't sleep, can you?" he asked, not really hoping nor expecting for Uruha to answer it, but surprisingly, the younger one shook his head slowly. He seemed bothered, honestly, and Aoi was on the verge of actually asking what was wrong until he realised that the young one simply wouldn't answer. Sure, he did answer _this_ question, but asking what was wrong seemed a tad more touchy for Aoi and he didn't want the honey-brunette to retreat back into his nutshell. Especially after all that Reita had told him.. If Aoi really did look like the bassist, then why not use it to a certain advantage?

"Scoot over," the raven ordered gently, and without waiting for an answer, said guitarist slipped beneath the covers, not paying attention to Uruha's surprised what-the-hell-are-you-doing look. He didn't want this; why was his senpai here, anyway? He wanted him to be gone, faraway from him! Why couldn't Aoi just go back home? But then again, why was he so against the raven melodist? Didn't he admire, idolize said Aquarius before? What made him angry towards the guitarist in the first place anyway? He couldn't even remember! Was it because his idol already had a lover? No, that wasn't possible. Uruha sighed in defeat towards himself, and seeing as Aoi was already there anyway, he finally consented thus letting his own body move back beneath the covers with his back towards his senpai, having just realised how odd it was to have a protector beside him. It had been Ruki beside him all this time, someone he was used to protect, and the few nights before with Aoi was something done rather unconsciously, he simply needed someone to hold onto…

_Wagamama,_ his conscience snapped at him, _Selfish_, and Uruha inwardly glared at his conscience before sighing, as he realized that this awkwardness wasn't exactly something bad. He felt… safe, as if he didn't need to worry about anything else in the world. Slightly hesitating, Uruha turned around and slowly nuzzled into his melodist's chest, his warmth making Uruha feel more content than ever. Aoi, on the other hand, was rather shocked. _What is this?_ he thought as he felt his kouhai snuggle closer towards him; it honestly reminded him of the time when they were still newbies and Ruki was so scared of the thunder at the time that he kept on clinging onto Kai as if said Leader-sama were his mother…

_Uruha can't possibly think of me as his mother… Could he?_

And with that last awkward thought lingering in his mind, the black eyes of Shiroyama Yuu fell closed in a slumber as his kouhai lay beside him. The night just seemed so peaceful, and the slumber he had fallen into was simply serene… Until he felt annoying poking at his cheek repeatedly. _What the hell, Uruha?_ he thought, seriously annoyed, and he was on the verge to just slap the hand away, but then he realised the following things;

**One.** Uruha would never _ever_ poke. Anybody, anywhere, anytime. **Two.** The skin making contact with his cheek was simply ice cold. And **three**, the fingers poking at him were smoother and smaller. And Aoi knew how big Uruha's hands were. Forcing his heavily lidded eyes open, the Aquarius needed a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the dim surroundings, but the more clear his vision got, the more he believed that he needed a full eye-check, for the person hovering over him, having poked his cheek for the past few minutes, was Kanon.

Yes, **the** Kanon from AnCafe who was supposed to be dead weeks ago, who now seems to be cheerfully smiling and waving at him with an innocent, "Hi~"

Blinking, Aoi mumbled a blunt, "Aren't you dead already?" as he sat up, and the young raven pouted cutely as he sat down by Aoi's feet on the bed, not making the bed creak in the slightest.

"That's harsh," he mumbled with his adorably pouted lips, "I didn't expect such an answer from you, Aoi-san," with a sigh, "But yes, I was _supposed_ to be, but since I was so sweet before I died, one of the Angels said I could see the one person closest to me," Kanon smiled childishly, and Aoi arched a brow.

"The one person… closest to you?" he repeated sceptically, and the bassist laughed a very hearty laugh, replying.

"Well, one per category," he explained, "Like, one from my family, one from my friends, etc. I've been over to Bou and all he did was cry so I could hardly get anything across, haha.." he giggled adorably, and after observing the pretty youngster, he had to admit that Kanon _did_ kinda remind him of Ruki, with all the smiles and cheerful eyes, but he just couldn't fathom where the similarities with him were! Okay, aside from the black hair. I mean, his eyes are bigger and more innocent, he seemed more patient, and he seemed so carefree… Or was the latter simply the after-effects of being dead?

"And I'm in which category exactly?" Aoi asked, and Kanon laughed again.

"None," he chirped with a shrug, and Aoi stared sceptically at the youthful raven, thinking to himself that maybe even ghosts suffer from sheer stupidities, but he didn't have time to ponder about it as Kanon continued explaining, "But Shima-kun though," he pointed at the honey-brunette sleeping beside Aoi, "Is in my Precious Person's List."

"So why the fish are you talking to me?"

"Because it'd bring more pain to Shima-kun if I showed up to him," Kanon sighed, the cheerfulness being replaced by pure sadness as he whispered, "I saw how he reacted when I passed. The pain, loss, grief… It pained me too much I wasn't even allowed to pass the river because there were too many melancholies tying me to the living… To Uruha," he sighed, "And Bou of course," he added as an afterthought, "But he still _tried_ to let me go. Shima-kun didn't. I saw his attempt to murder himself slowly, and I was really worried until I saw you showing up here and make his life better. I once thought that Ruki-kun could do it, but it seems that you bring more influence towards him, Aoi-san," he smiled.

"Uhm…" Aoi tried to digest Kanon's explanation, "Okay, I kinda get that part… But what do you want with me, exactly?"

"I just…" the late bassist fidgeted, "I just want you to take care of him. I believe you'd know why it's got to be you…" he sighed, "Honestly, I want him to forget me and move on. Start over. It'll be the best for both of us. I could go in peace and he'd live happy. That's all I've ever wanted… Besides, I think that -" but Kanon stopped half-way his sentence as the sleeping figure beside Aoi started to move and groan; Uruha was waking up. Kanon's eyes shifted towards Aoi and Uruha as he stood up, panicked.

"Look, I think he's way better off with you for now," he continued in a hurry, "I've to go now, I can't let more than one person see me and I've got to go over to Tatsuya's," the young one said as he backed away towards the door, "Tell Takashima-kun that I love him, I forgive him and he doesn't have to regret anything, alright? Please tell him, someday, but not now. Alright? I have to go…"

And the next moment, Aoi found himself staring - not at the door where a half-frantic ghost of a dead bassist had stood - but at the ceiling of Uruha's full-purple room, with said guitarist lying beside him, awake, looking at him worriedly. The raven honestly felt disoriented, he didn't even realized that he had closed his eyes… Was it just a dream? But ghosts don't just come into people's dreams randomly and pass on messages like that… But Aoi's train of thoughts were interrupted as Uruha's voice cut the nightly silence with a timidly gentle and sleepy voice.

"Daijoubu?" he asked, "Are you okay?" the question sounding sincere though through only a single word. Aoi's eyes turned from the ceiling towards Uruha's tired, groggy face, but it oddly seemed beautiful to him, still. He closed his eyes for a moment, sighed, and opened them again as he talked.

"I… don't know… I guess… I just had a weird dream…" he admitted, and Uruha cocked his head to the side with an adorably curious look on his face.

"Akumu ka?" he suggested, "Nightmare?" but Aoi closed his eyes as a negative answer.

"No, no, not exactly, I - Um, did anybody come inside the room?" he asked, avoiding the question, and Uruha merely shook his head, his face showing more curiosity. Aoi sighed and thought his dream sleepily over. Maybe it was true maybe it was not, but it was now probably really late…

"Why did you wake up?" Aoi asked, and Uruha shrugged, answering with a huge yawn.

"Hoaaam… Thrashing," Uruha replied, again with only a single word, and his raven-haired senpai sighed. Aoi knew that it was his thrashing that woke Uruha up, and he knew it was just by looking at the digital alarm-clock, which clearly showed 02.49 a.m. in the morning. The raven remembered the message that Kanon had wanted him to pass on, but then again it was very early in the morning and Aoi's disorientation made him more sleepy that he's supposed to be…

"Kay.. Go back to sleep, ne?" the melodist yawned, patting the free space beside him. His kouhai complied with a sleepy nod, flopping down beside his senpai exactly at the space Aoi had indicated. The honey blonde innocently rested his head upon Aoi's upper chest, almost nuzzling the older one's neck and curling his arm around the raven's slim waist, falling into slumber quite quickly. Aoi was obviously quite surprised at the act, but he was just too tired to say anything about it and he was still quite confused about the dream he had so he simply didn't say anything and moved the arm that Uruha had occupied around the younger one's shoulder, embracing him also. Hugs won't do any harm, would they?

* * *

A couple of days passed and everything seemed to be going on normally. The plan on Saturday got cancelled because it turned out Kai couldn't come because his mother needed him for something; Miyavi had a meeting; and Ruki had simply disappeared from the face of the Earth. Nobody could reach the chibi vocalist by phone and Kai didn't know where he was. All the drummer knew was that Ruki had gone off at ten in the morning but the blonde didn't tell him where he was going. But still Reita was there at the Kanagawa household, on his old PlayStation 2 playing GTA with Uruha beside him, the two childhood friends laughing their asses off and making fun of each other each time one of them lost or when one of their cars crashed into each other, or another car. Maybe it was simply Reita, maybe it was the game, or maybe Uruha was starting to get over the shock; but the honey-brunette was able to laugh again and he even gave his small unimportant dumb comments to every little thing he thought funny. It was almost as if he was going back to normal and Aoi had actually felt relieved a few days before when this started to happen; he just hoped that his kouhai wouldn't break down again.

"Ah! I lost again!" Reita said out loud, pouting as Uruha once again beat him into being the first that arrived at the finish line. The honey-brunette just laughed at his victory and tapped Reita's nose as his adorable smile graced his face.

"Ne, you're lousier now," he commented, smiling, and Reita tried to bite Uruha's finger as a sign of protest.

"You've never been this good. I think that you've been playing games all this time instead of being sick, haven't you?" the bassist accused and his friend laughed, shaking his head. Seeing Uruha like this almost made him feel like everything is back to normal, if only there wasn't something missing, something wrong… Reita simply felt that Uruha's cheerfulness is that of a child's, as if his best friend was back to being a small kid… The Uruha here with him wasn't exactly the Uruha that he knew. As their laughter died down, Reita stood up with a sigh, patting Uruha's head who was still sitting on the floor below him who gave him a curious, questioning look.

"Where's Aoi anyways?" Reita asked as an answer, and Uruha shrugged.

"Calling. Kai maybe," the honey-brunette answered curtly as always, standing up with the help of Reita's hand, and suddenly walking out of the room, dragging Reita along with him by the hand. The two best friends found their senpai outside by the patio, phone in his hand. The older raven was facing the scenery so the two can't really see him but at least they knew who it was. Silence filled the air between them as they've now have nothing to do, but then an idea got into Uruha's head.

"Do my hair? Please?" the honey-brunette requested like a child, "Just simple highlights. Please?" the younger one begged with a cute smile, and Reita chuckled, nodding.

"Okay, sure. Where's the dye?" he agreed, and Uruha gave him the answer by dragging said bassist all the way to the bathroom. An hour or so after, Aoi came inside the livingroom, having just phoned his lover. It turned out that Kai's cousin was getting married and that was the reason why he couldn't show up today. Aoi had told him about how things were at his place and vice versa, but the two of them soon ran out of topics again and it was once again Kai who took the liberty and broke off the line, saying that he had to go. This was getting very awkward and now Aoi was seriously convinced that he had to go back home as soon as possible. His closeness with Uruha wasn't exactly brightening up his days either…

_Especially wit__h what Kanon wanted me to do!_ he remembered with a sigh, flopping down onto the sofa. The raven was so lost in his own thoughts that he failed to realize that one of his bandmates had strolled inside the room, noticing his troubled face and walking up towards him.

"Ne, Aoi-kun? Daijobu ka? Doushite no?" Reita asked as he sat down beside the melodist who had jumped up a bit at the question as he didn't see the younger one enter the vicinity. The bassist seemed kinda chirpy today, or was he always like that? Hm, but it had certainly been a while since Aoi had seen him smile _this_ bright.

"Aoi-kun?" Reita repeated, and Aoi got shaken out of his thoughts once again.

"Uh yeah, sorry. What were you saying?" the melodist quickly recovered, leaving the younger one to stare at him oddly for a second before answering rather hesitantly.

"Uhm, I was asking what was wrong… You seemed spaced out, seriously. Since the very first minute I came here you acted as if you didn't know me. You just opened the door, smiled a bit and walked off. The next thing I knew I saw you outside at the patio talking to someone on your phone. You're weird, Aoi-kun. Is Uruha's depression wearing off on you?" he asked quite innocently, and Aoi gave a thin smile, shifting his position on the seat to slightly face his band member.

"No, I've just been thinking…" he mumbled, looking over his shoulder, "Um, where's Uruha?" he asked for good measures, trying his best to ignore the odd look that he knew Reita was giving him.

"He's in the bathroom.." the blonde bassist answered rather cautiously, "I've just finished helping him with his highlights. Why?"

"Well… It's about…" and Aoi trailed off, hesitated. What the hell was he supposed to say? 'Yeah well, last night the ghost of Uruha's dead boyfriend came over and told me to take care of his almost-crazy honey-brunette'? Hmm… But then again, that sentence _could_ work, with a few edits here and there… Aoi inwardly face-palmed himself, _I'm going crazy…_

"Aoi-kun?" Reita called him back to Earth, and Aoi took a deep breath. _Here goes nothing,_ he thought, and he told Reita everything that had happened last night, but as an afterthought he also told the bassist about him and Kai. Okay, maybe not everything see as it's a part of their personal love life but he did tell the blonde that Kai was acting weird, that Aoi himself was feeling weird, and also that he felt they were changing… The relationship, that is.

"And we just hung up like that," the raven melodist sighed, blowing upwards so that his bangs were flying in the air for a few seconds, "What do you think about it?"

"Well…" Reita finally spoke up a few seconds, "I don't get it. What are you worried about then?" he shrugged, as if not really caring about Aoi's relationship one single bit. If only he were a bit more sensitive, he could surely feel the slight killing aura radiating off of his senpai.

"You're so thick-headed, aren't you?" Aoi glared, feeling that he could head-desk the bassist if only he didn't need his advice so much, "I just don't want my six-year relationship fade away that easily. I mean, I saw many of my friends have these year-long relationships and have it indicated by the smallest changes."

"Such as?" the younger Gemini inquired, raising one of his legs up to the sofa.

"For example, uh…" Aoi paused to think for a minute, "Ah! Shou and Saga. They've been _the_ talk of even the whole PSCompany, and almost nobody hasn't ever seen them making out in every corner of the building, right?" the Aquarius stated, and Reita laughed.

"Yeah. Remember that time we caught them in kissing in the elevator?" the bassist recalled, and Aoi made a face that clearly showed disgust, as if the founding had scarred him for life.

"Ew. Don't remind me," he shuddered, "Anyways. They've been like this for what, three years? And only a few months ago Uruha had found Shou crying over small things that should be tolerated like attention and stuff - "

"Ne matte," Reita cut him off, "Didn't those two lovebirds break up a few weeks ago because Saga forgot Shou's birthday?" the bassist asked, pure curiosity plastered on his face, and Aoi looked at him, blank, for one whole minute before answering.

"Well uh. Not sure. But if it's true, well… Maybe that topped everything off. I mean, it could actually be tolerated since Saga had lots of things on his hands at the time…"

"I heard his brother was sick," Reita cut him off again, and now Aoi stared at him as if the blonde had just grown a second head.

"Yeah, among other things," Aoi mumbled, slightly wondering how Reita would know these small gossip and why the hell they were now gossiping like women, "Anyways, I don't want that to happen to me. In their case, if was toleration and attention fading away, and I don't want my lack of ability to maintain a simple conversation be the main reason for a breakup."

"Ah right," Reita spoke up, staying silent for a few minutes before continuing, "Well to be honest, there's not much I can help you about that. That's something internal that you two have to fix. I don't have anything to do with it. Just be there for him when he needs it," Reita shrugged, and Aoi gave him a sceptic look.

"Well that's another thing that seems kinda impossible to do," he stated as a matter of factly, and Reita raised his eyebrows.

"And how might that be?"

"Uruha," Aoi stated bluntly, and Reita chuckled.

"Ah yeah, the sick little girl next door."

"Exactly. How am I supposed to be there for Kai when he needs me while Uruha seems to need me almost half of the time? Especially now that Kanon had came to me himself in person -"

"In spirit," Reita corrected, earning a glare from Aoi, who then continued as if nothing had happened.

"- and asked me to take care of your twin-like best friend!"

"Well okay, so the message of a dead person thing _might_ be important, but that still makes me rather curious. How did Kanon exactly say it, anyway? Did he just plainly say that you should take care of Uru-pon at all times, or until he's better?" Reita asked, obviously more interested in this topic than the one before. Aoi stayed silent for a few minutes at the question, trying to recall Kanon's exact words at the time…

"Well, he said that he wanted me to take care of Uruha so that Uru could begin a fresh leaf and start all over again with his life… And he also said that he thinks Uruha is way better of with me than Ruki. Somehow."

"Ah," Reita simply said, and he stayed for the few minutes ahead, now seemingly thinking seriously, "Well…" he finally spoke up, "To be honest, that kinda gives me the impression that Kanon wants you to hook up with Uruha. No offense or anything, though. From the way you say that he says it, he was kinda hoping Ruki to be the person who can bring Uruha back as normal, but as you can see," Reita motioned with hands, "the chibi ain't here. He's off to Kai's, dealing with his own problems, not wanting to engage in Uruha's. Sure, he's got lots on his mind now, but maybe Kanon might not know even though he's supposed to cause he's a ghost…" Reita trailed off, "But anyways. Let's just assume he doesn't know and has only been stalking Uruha and sees that you're the person that has been around him for the past few weeks, and he clearly sees that you're the only person Kouyou can actually open up to, the one he feels safe to, right?"

"Well yeah," Aoi admitted half-heartedly, "but he also feels secure towards you, right?" he offered, "I mean, feeling safe, secure, fluff stuff like that?" but Reita merely chuckled at that statement, almost seemingly wanting to laugh.

"Well, if there's something that Kanon knows most in the world is that me and Uruha will never ever get together. It's like… dating your own brother. Sure, I know him quite well, too well for my own good in fact, but that's just the main reason. Besides there's something else between us…" Reita trailed off, seemingly nostalgic, before snapping out of it with a sheepish smile, "And anyways. With what I mean feeling secure is… You're a big brother type of guy. Almost fatherly caring in fact. A fun, brotherly type of dad. And that's the difference between you and Ruki that Uruha can see. With you, he has someone to protect him, he doesn't have to pretend to be strong, he can be as childish as he wants and you'd still be okay with that. But with Ruki, Uruha's the protector, he has to be strong for the chibi shortcake, and he has to keep his image. I know that Ruki would surely not mind if Uruha'd act childish now and then, but you know how Kouyou's pride can get, ne?"

"Well I guess…" Aoi answered curtly, trying to digest Reita's explanation, "I think I kinda get it…"

"Good," Reita stated, "So now the only thing left to talk about this Kanon-appearance thingy is his message. Did he tell you to take care of Uruha 24/7, only until he gets better, or only when he needs you most?" the bassist interrogated, and Aoi fell silent, trying to remember.

"Um… I don't know. His only message was that I should tell Uruha that Kanon loved him lots and has already forgive him, and that I should take care of him. That's all."

"Okay…" Reita mused for a minute or two, "Okay, seeing as you already have Kai-sama we should take it that you should be there for Kou only when he really needs you… And we should just eliminate the feelings factor," Reita added in as an afterthought when he saw the questioning look on Aoi's face, "Cause you can take it from me that Uruha does kinda… Well, you know, he kinda likes you," Reita fidgeted a bit, "And I guess that you care for him too, but it might get too, uh, complicated if we involve feelings in this theory, so let's just ignore that…" the bassist shrugged, continuing, "And I guess you should pass the message on later when Uruha's more stable… Or when you feel it's right."

"Ah. I see…" Aoi mumbled, and he kept his silence, thinking. Okay. So. Ignore the feelings factor. Take care of Uruha when's he more stable… But what may indicate his stability? He had never known Uruha that well… Is Reita's help required once more? Ah, this is all just a tad bit confusing… Or did Aoi just not want to think?

"Ne, Reita-chaaan~ Tasukete kudasaaai~" the two could hear Uruha faintly call for his brother-like best-friend childishly, and the rhythm guitarist's voice actually shook the melodist out of his thoughts. He turned to Reita who merely shrugged and smiled and got up, walking off towards the bathroom.

"Ima iku yo!" the bassist replied, "Coming!" disappearing off into the hall, leaving Aoi on his own. The raven didn't mind, though, and used his solitude to think. Being the thinker he was, he quickly got lost in his own train of contemplations. What Reita told him is actually true, and Aoi had to admit that he did have feelings for his rhythm guitarist, if only a little. It isn't as if he's ungrateful for having Kai, no, the drummer could be considered as the best uke ever, but it's just that this raven melodist has already had this soft spot for Uruha since a long time ago… And he was sure that Reita and Miyavi had noticed it from the beginning… But Aoi had simply never recognized nor identified this feeling as love, or any of the sort.

"Ao-kun, genki?" a sweet voice suddenly came from beside his ear as a pair of slightly muscled, slim, porcelain white arms circled itself around his neck and shoulders from behind. The lavender scent coming from the person behind him was unmistakable - especially with the long honey-brunette hair brushing his cheek and neck.

"I'm just fine, Uruha," Aoi answered with a smile, patting Uruha's one of encircled arms, "How's your new hair?" he asked, trying to make a conversation so that both his kouhais won't ask him what he was thinking about just now. He turned around to face his kouhai so that they could talk better - and also to tell the brunette to let go, but he regretted this move the minute he did it. The raven's eyes widened as he noticed the less-than-an-inch-gap between their faces, making it able for him to smell Uruha's mint breath, feeling the brush of both Uruha's soft damp hair and smooth cheek on his own. Aoi was silenced in an instant, forgetting what he was about to say. The melodist was sure that his kouhai noticed the slight tense in his body, but Uruha didn't react to it. Instead, he answered with a chirpy tone.

"It's great! I just washed it! Does it smell good?" the younger one asked, leaning in slightly closer, making Aoi more tense than he already was; he could feel Uruha's lips on his cheekbone damn it! If only Aoi could suddenly jump up, scream out loud and say, 'HOLY TAP-DANCING JESUS! GET OFF ME!' without hurting the brunette's feelings, he swore he would. The trouble was he couldn't. And the worse part of it all was that he actually enjoyed it; he didn't mind one single bit while he's supposed to be. Hell, his band mate had a killer body and looks prettier than any girl in the world; which guy _would_ mind?

_I have got to get out of here soon_, Aoi promised, more scared of what he can do to Uruha than what Uruha can do to him. Ever since Uruha started to get really better, living at the Kanagawa household really puts his nerves to the real devotion test. It had only been four days since he got here and things have already evolved so fast! He wanted to stay faithful to Kai, but hey, every guy's got his temptations and limitations, right? Only angels do, and God knows that Aoi's no angel, though many people compliment him of being one… Being too nice to people does have its disadvantages sometimes…

_NOW being the perfect example!_ he grumbled. Just when he was mouthing around gibberish like a fish, not knowing what exactly he should say without threatening to pull the younger down onto the sofa, a cellphone rang and vibrated by the coffee table and footsteps could be heard in seconds. A surprised voice followed soon after too.

"What the…?" Reita asked, standing perplexed over by the hall, before closing his eyes, shaking his head and walking off to get his keitai. He saw that it was a mere text message, but still placed the electronic on his ear and said, "Yo?" before walking out to the patio, faking the call, but with his mind speeding like a race car about what he had just saw. His two guitarists being all fluffy on the couch… _God help me,_ he sighed. It wasn't as if he didn't expect it to come; he just didn't expect it so _soon_!

Turning around slightly to peek over his shoulders, he could now see Aoi back on his feet smiling rather nervously before ruffling Uruha's hair tenderly and walking away. Tearing his gaze off and focusing back to the scenery ahead of him, Reita sighed. He honestly felt sorry for Aoi, having to doubt and fight with his own feelings and even his own thoughts, just because of the three main objects in his life; Uruha, Kai, and the GazettE. Reita would really want to replace his senpai and take the job - he knew Uruha better than his own mother, afterall - but he also knew that the results would never be the same. He didn't 'love' Uruha the way this whole healing process required, though he'd do anything, sacrifice everything he had to bring his best friend, brother - no, his _soulmate_ - back to normal.

As he stole another glance back at the living room, taking in the angelic beauty's features as said brunette was probably watching TV, he knew that the person in there wasn't Uruha, it was Kouyou, Shima-kun, the little Uruha-_chan_ he knew when he started the GazettE; it was the Uruha that he had met in Elementary School, ever so childish, clingy, pouty, and flirty, seemingly as if Uruha had turned childish again. But Reita, of all people, could see the façade in all this; it was obvious - to him, at least - that Uruha is faking this cheerfulness in the hopes of finding real happiness… It was pathetic, ironic, and sad… And it hurt to see all of this. It hurt to see his band falling apart, too.

Finally deciding that he should just get back in, Reita checked the message and saw that it was from Miyavi that requested for a meet-up a few hours from now. He replied saying that he would come. Taking a deep breath, Reita closed his keitai and stuffed it back in the back pocket of his jeans, turning around and walking back towards the door's sliding glass doors, head still in the clouds, sliding it open and stepping a foot in to only witness the exact moment where Uruha leaned in towards his senpai and crushed his lips together gently with Aoi's, who was too stunned to even do anything. But on the other side, the melodist actually seemed to be enjoying it, kissing back as soon as he got to his senses.

_Since when did Aoi get back to the livingroom?_ Reita mused for a minute before cursing himself and focusing his mind back to the main point :

Uruha.

Aoi.

In the livingroom.

Kissing.

. . . . . . . . . . ?

O.O ?

WHAT THE HELL?

Perplexed, Reita fully stepped inside the livingroom and slid the doors hard, making its railings protest noisily. The bassist was obviously pissed and confused, not only because one of them already has someone, but because he could actually foresee this coming and knew he could somehow prevent it but didn't have the chance. His two guitarists instantly looked up at the loud noise, surprised, and Aoi immediately moved away from Uruha, realising what he had just done, face covered in layers of pink. Uruha, on the other hand, seemed to be perfectly at ease, not feeling guilty one single bit, cocking his head innocently to the side, asking,

"Doushite no Reita-chan?"

* * *

Tiring months filled full with tours finally passed and all five members of the GazettE were exhausted. They spent Christmas and New Year only with each other, not having time to actually have any time with their family. The only thing they could do was just invite them to one of their concerts, but that was it. And as expected, each member let out all of their stress, exhaustion and frustration on stage, turning said bad emotions into some positive energy. Especially Aoi. He kept making fun of Ruki every time he had the chance and they seemed so alive on stage. But when they went down backstage, the atmosphere changed completely. The bad aura they've left behind rejoined their respected owners and everything felt awkward now. Everyone felt awkward towards each other, but they tried ignoring everything and it was very visible in the way they handled things.

Ruki had been keeping everything to himself, focusing on his sketchbooks and iPod. Uruha had been clinging to Reita and the two did practically everything together, while Aoi and Kai had been at each other's faces every time they had the chance. For an outsider, that might be something normal. But for someone that really knew them, something was definitely amiss. Uruha doesn't cling to Reita. Yes they were soul mates but it was exactly that factor that kept them from each other; you could say that they've gotten enough of each other and that was why Uruha was almost always there with Ruki wherever the youngest one was. Reita was the one usually keeping things to himself and playing around with his laptop. And as for the happy couple, they never showed off any kind of romance in front of their band mates; they kept it discreet and clean, except for maybe an innocent peck here and there, but that was rare too.

Needless to say, GazettE had serious problems.

And Reita of all people, would know the main reason behind all of this. Aoi was obviously feeling guilty and that was why he stuck to Kai like a lovesick puppy, trying to make things up to Kai and showing that he really loves the drummer - though Reita personally thinks that Aoi was trying to convince himself more than he tried to convince anyone else. Ruki was obviously still sulky and Reita knew that the chibi blonde was smarter than just giving into his emotions and used his negative energy for something more useful, hence his iPod and sketchbooks. As for Uruha…

The blonde bassist shivered every time he remembered the kiss he saw between Uruha and Aoi, swearing to himself that he will never pass it onto anyone else. He had dragged his childhood friend off to his room after that event and tried to talk some sense into him; but Uruha was acting nonchalant as usual and didn't say anything; no remorse, no guilt, no nothing. It wasn't when Reita mentioned Kai that Uruha started to realize what he did was kind of wrong. As quiet, ignorant and carefree as Uruha might look like, the guitarist actually cared a lot for Ruki and Kai, though he treated Kai gentler because he always saw the Leader-sama as something easy to break, easier than Ruki who had been through a lot more than the four of them, and Reita knew that. He knew that his feminine Gemini twin hated to see Kai upset and so the bassist used those chaste feelings against its owner. Uruha had merely stayed quiet after that, and things progressed to how they were now. Uruha didn't acknowledge Aoi a single bit on the tours; he even refused to share a hotel room with the older one.

But when they had reached Tokyo and parted off to go to their own homes, everything seemed like normal as if nothing had happened; Ruki innocently dogged his Leader-sama home while Reita followed off the two guitarists back to the Kanagawa household, with the excuse that Miyavi was off anyways and that he wanted to be close to his best friend right now. But the real reason behind it was actually something a bit more than that; he wanted to make sure that his band won't be torn apart just because of his egoistic childhood friend and his easy-to-seduce senpai. He knew that Uruha won't give up on something once he had set his eyes on it and he will try to prevent anything that may come up.

But it was proven that Uruha _was_ stubborn and will do practically anything to get what he wanted. In only a few weeks after they got home and settled in, the rhythm guitarist had already started to cling onto the older melodist once again - though maybe not as active as before Reita had approached him - but now, all the blonde bassist could do was shake his head at the act and prevent unwanted things from happening. But of course, the bassist couldn't always keep his eyes on the guitarist, now, could he?

"Ao-kun, Ruki said that the shoot for Before I Decay is today. What time will we go?" Uruha asked as he entered the livingroom, approaching his senpai who was sitting on the sofa and casually circled his arms around Aoi from behind. Aoi of course was surprised and he honestly had goose bumps on his skin as soon as his kouhai's skin made contact with his, but he couldn't exactly shrug him off now, could he?

"Hm, I don't recall him telling me anything?" Aoi gently answered, faintly smiling as he touched Uruha's arm and took a hold of it, guiding the younger one around the sofa to sit beside him, "Have you asked Reita?"

"He's still in the bathroom… With my hairdryer," Uruha pouted, "I don't get why he simply can't use the towel to dry off his body!" the honey-brunette complained, and Aoi laughed.

"Well, he did say that the clothes slip on more easily and that it just feels great?"

"That's not an excuse to dry off your body with a hairdryer," Uruha stated bluntly, "Anyways. Hasn't Kai-kun like, called you or anything?"

"Kai?" frowned the raven as his kouhai mentioned Aoi's lovers name, "No, no he hasn't? Why?" he asked back, feeling rather suspicious.

"Oh. Nothing," Uruha suddenly smiled mischievously, and he casually sprawled himself across the sofa, resting his head onto Aoi's lap, flashing his gorgeous smile up at the older one. He slowly raised his hand, reaching upwards and gently cupped Aoi's face, stroking the smooth cheek gently with his thumb, and all Aoi can do is smile and put his smaller hand upon Uruha's much bigger ones. The young guitarist was actually rather mesmerized by those calm pair of eyes that his raven melodist possessed, and he couldn't help but once again realize that he looked so much alike with that particular someone he had cared so much, too much about… Did Aoi realize it?

To be honest, no, not one bit. He wasn't even thinking about it. The melodist had taken Uruha's hand in his because he had always wondered how the size of their hands could differ like that. They were technically both men, both seme, both guitarists, both athletes.. They should have equal hand sizes, correct? But Aoi's thoughts were interrupted when footsteps suddenly broke the atmosphere and entered the vicinity.

"Ne, guys," Reita called as he approached the two of them, "I'm gonna go get - What the hell are you two doing?" he suddenly commented upon seeing their very fluffy stance, raising a curious eyebrow. Aoi immediately removed Uruha's hand from his face, smiling sheepishly and apologetically at Reita who gave him a sceptic look as if saying, 'I knew you enjoyed that' and took a deep breath before continuing his cut off sentence.

"No comment," he sighed, raising both his hands as if to say that he's not involved in this, "Just wanna say that Miyavi'll be back tomorrow so I gotta be home before _he_ gets home…"

"And what does that have to do with me?" Uruha asked as if he doesn't really care, sitting up and leaning over the sofa's leaning to face his friend, "Just kidding Rei-kun, kidding," he chuckled sweetly when he saw the sour face on the bassist's face, "I know how much you guys love each other!"

Reita merely gave a sinister smile at the remark, "Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny Uru-_chan_," he shot back before turning to Aoi, "Look, Aoi-kun, I'm gonna go get Kai and Ruki from the BID radio-interview, plus you did say there were things we wanted to talk about, right? We gotta gather to clear stuff up…"

"So we're moving last Saturday's plans to today?" Aoi concluded, and Reita nodded. Though Uruha had really gotten better and was almost back to his normal self again, the honey-brunette seemed to refuse Aoi's departure and always tried to make sure that the guitarist stayed. Reita saw the selfish traits that suddenly started to grow in his friend, though, and had talked things over with Aoi and Kai.

"Yeah. Besides, you did say that you wanted to get back home as soon as possible, right, Aoi-kun?" Reita mentioned, and Aoi nodded with an expecting smile, even though he could feel Uruha's sudden stare from beside him. He felt rather uneasy but decided to ignore it. He knew what those eyes described, and he also knew that he'd be sad if he confirmed what it showed… It was best not to know.

"Yeah… We'll also get Ruki back here, ne?"

"Exactly!" Reita grinned, and he finally walked off towards the front door, slipping on his shoes, "I'm going now, so you two better behave, got it?" he added as a joke - though Uruha felt as if it were a warning directed personally to him - and the bassist opened the door, walked through and left. A few seconds passed in eerie silence as the two stared at the door blankly, not really knowing what to do next before Aoi finally broke the silence by standing up on his feet and walking off towards the halls that contained their bedrooms and bathroom. Uruha looked up at the sudden movement and sat up on his knees immediately.

"Ao-kun, where're you going?" the younger guitarist called out, and his senpai flashed a smile.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," he shrugged and Uruha gave him a look.

"What, again? I can still smell your fresh scent and you wanna shower again?"

"I like being clean," Aoi shrugged nonchalantly, and with a last glance at his kouhai, he walked off towards the bathroom, leaving Uruha alone in the livingroom. The honey-brunette pondered about what to do in the meantime since he knew that Aoi would take up a half an hour or so in the bathroom and he decided that he'd better work on the single after Before I Decay, and so he got onto his feet and walked off to his room, busying himself in front of the computer. After an hour or two, Uruha suddenly heard the phone ringing in the livingroom and he got out to take the call.

"Moshi-moshi?"

"Ne, Kou-chan?" the heavy voice on the other side confirmed, and Uruha hummed, recognizing the voice to be Reita's.

"Mm-hmm, sou desu. Omae wa doko?" he asked, "Where're you?"

"Well… I'm here at uhh…" Reita trailed off, and Uruha could hear him asking Kai in the background where they were now before getting back on the line, "At some shopping district, Kai doesn't really know where we are now either," he answered sheepishly, "We're going to some of the tourist spots after this, too," and Uruha cocked his head to the side at the weird explanation.

"What the hell are you two doing at a shopping district, and why are you going to the tourist spots? We're Japanese for Christ's sake, we know every single corner of those spots like back of our hands!" he stated, "I thought we were having a gathering right over here, not you three venturing around Tokyo!" To be honest though, somewhere in the back of his mind, he had to admit that he was kind of relieved. If the gathering was cancelled then Aoi didn't have to go back so soon, did he?

"Actually, to tell you the truth…" Reita hesitated, "Ruki's gone," he stated rather weakly, and Uruha felt as if he had skipped a beat. _Gone?_

"Wait. Gone as in missing?" the younger one tried to confirm and Reita hummed at the other side, sounding rather edgy, and Uruha knew that the bassist maybe felt the same as he know was feeling. Anxious, worried. . . Well, maybe not as worried as Uruha is because Reita is rather thick-headed like that, but… Uruha had to admit that he was worried. He had always cared for the vocalist, though he doesn't really show nor realize it, but it was at times like these that he wanted Ruki to be safe and near him.

"Yeah, well, not really _missing_," Reita tried to compromise, "Ru had already told Kai that he'd be off with a friend, and Kai was in his room when the doorbell rang. He was changing his clothes so Ru offered to open up the door, but Ru suddenly called out to Kai that his friend was there and that he was going… Before Kai could even say anything to Ru's 'friend'…" Reita trailed off and Uruha continued the sentence for him.

"He was already gone?"

"Yup. The problem is, he's been gone since this morning and we couldn't find him at all," Reita sighed at the other end, "Kai tried calling him but he won't pick up. I've just contacted Toshiya though, and he said that Hizaki might have a hunch."

"Toshiya?" Uruha repeated, "Well where's Ruki now then? Hasn't Hizaki told you yet?"

"Well, he said that Ru's probably over at either Mana'a shop or Teru's place cause there is where he keeps disappearing to ever since he stayed over at Kai's…" the blonde trailed off, "Kai even said that living with Ruki is like having a teenage child; he is there and gives attention and all but he's always gone."

"Ruki _is_ a teen, compared to us," Uruha suggested, "So what're you waiting for now?" and Reita chuckled.

"Yeah, well, waiting for Hizaki and Toshiya to arrive, of course," he explained, "They'll show us the way to Teru's place, and if he isn't there then we're all going to Mana's."

"But I don't think that he'd really be at Mana-senpai's shop… The two of them don't really… _Click_, do they? I mean…"

"Yeah I know, I know, one's a quiet elegant aristocrat while the other is a hyper rocker. I get what you mean," Reita added, his voice amused, "Well anyways, that's all I have to tell you. This might take a while, so you two better get yourselves busy or something," he suggested, before suddenly adding in as an afterthought, "But _not_ with each other, you hear me? Behave, Kouyou!"

And Uruha rolled his eyes at the statement, "I am _not_ your dog, Akira," placing his hands on his hips. He couldn't even count the numerous times that Reita had repeated those words.

"I know, Kou, I know. But I…" and Reita paused before turning down the volume of his voice, "You know whom he belongs to. Don't make Kai cry, alright?" the bassist explained gently, "I'm counting on you for this one. Please. Don't tear us apart and kill the band."

Uruha sighed, "Alright, alright," he replied, knowing what Reita said was true. His friend soon hung up after this, saying that even though Kai had failed to contact Ruki, Toshiya and Hizaki have already arrived and that they were now going. After saying curt goodbyes, Uruha also hung up, and turned just in time to catch Aoi approaching him from the hall. The guitarist had probably been in his room all this time… Or eavesdropping from the hall.

"Who called?" Aoi asked, and Uruha shrugged.

"Reita. He said that Ruki's missing but they know where they might find him," he sighed, "It might take a while though," he informed the older one, and Aoi raised an eyebrow. _Ruki's missing?_ he thought, but he couldn't exactly say that he was surprised. Ruki finally got all the freedom he wanted, away from Uruha wasn't he?

"Ah. I see…" the older one murmured, nothing else to say really coming to mind. What was he supposed to say, anyway? 'Maybe Ruki's loving his new freedom?' If he said that, Uruha might get upset or something, cause Aoi still can see the younger one's possessiveness over the vocalist, even just a bit…

Still remembering the fact that his vocalist had feelings for the rhythm guitarist, and that said latter had shown almost-positive signs about liking the chibi blonde back in the past before the whole Kanon-thing came up, made Aoi ponder. Maybe he could use Uruha's tucked-away feelings for Ruki to get himself out of his uneasy position; Aoi couldn't choose nor make up his mind! He knew he had Kai waiting at home, but he cared so much for the honey-brunette he didn't have the heart to not oblige to anything that the young one wanted. He was sick, afterall. But as the weeks passed, Uruha got spoiled and if Reita hadn't been there to save his ass, Aoi was sure he'd be having commitment problems by now; that being the reason for his rather slutty and dominating act towards Kai on the tours. It wasn't as if he wasn't ashamed; it truly was rather embarrassing. But if not then, when? As soon as the tours ended he had to get back to Uruha, hadn't he? He had to -

"Oh well," Uruha spoke up, breaking his train of thoughts, "I'll just leave it up to Reita to look for him then," Uruha faintly smiled, stuffing his hands inside his backpockets, "Wanna play Winning Eleven?" the honey-brunette suddenly suggested, and Aoi smiled, knowing that Uruha was diverting from the main Ruki topic because he knew that Aoi might ask stuff.

"Nah, I don't like those games…" Aoi declined, wanting to keep on talking and know more about Uruha's feelings. He _had_ to know more; it was the easiest way out for him.

"Well then what do you like?" Uruha insisted, "Oh come on, you must've played games once in a while?" and Aoi knew he couldn't get away. Uruha's a very stubborn man and he'd try and talk Aoi into it until said latter obliged. Sighing and deciding to just go along with the game his kouhai was playing, the raven thought over the games Kai used to slave himself over on the computer.

"Um.. NfS?" he offered, not really knowing many PlayStation games. Uruha grinned widely at the offer and immediately grabbed Aoi's arm, dragging him off to Reita's room, the room that contained said gaming electronic.

Uruha seemed giddily excited when starting up the game and was so very happy starting it all, choosing the car, track and amount of laps. But when they started playing, though, Aoi noticed that there was something wrong. The honey-brunette kept hitting the pavement and road signs, not managing it quite well in taking turns either. The raven honestly thought that maybe Uruha wasn't really good at this game anyway, but he knew his bandmate too well to just accept that suggestion. First of all, he had often saw the honey-brunette race against Reita and the guitarist always won, and would never defeat his loss of the bassist did win by a chance of luck. Uruha is, in a way, selfish, and he will never accept loss, especially in things he likes and masters the most, these games being one of those things. So why does it seem that this honey-brunette was giving up intentionally?

When Aoi's black car finished all of its laps and reached the finish line with Uruha's silver one tailing right behind him, the raven smiled in victory before turning to face his junior to see what his reaction might be… But he merely seemed to be accepting his loss with a simple shrug. Now realizing that there really was something wrong with his kouhai, the older guitarist put down his controller and pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around it, contemplating whether he should ask or not… His junior was spoilt in a way, him being the youngest apart from his two older sisters, and Aoi had often laughed at the way Uruha refused to be beaten by Kai in a simple game of Tekken, Phantom of Inferno, GTA, or any other game for that matter. The young one had childishly demanded rematch over and over again until he won, but he won't let people play with him half-heartedly either. If his opponent lost on purpose, he'd also demand rematch. Uruha is a very confusing person.. But that's exactly the thing that intrigued Aoi the most.

"Ne, wanna go for another round?" Uruha offered with a smile that Aoi saw as tired, and the latter shook his head, wanting to see whether Uruha's reaction will be the same as usual. The honey-brunette usually _demanded_ rematch until he won, not _offer_ rematch after accepting that he lost. Uruha had too much pride, it could almost be said as selfish.

"No, I think I'll pass…" Aoi gently declined and Uruha cocked his head to the side, staring at him with his almost-empty eyes, as if contemplating about what to say… Aoi honestly hoped that Uruha would insist on a rematch like a child, because that would mean that the latter was doing just fine and that his act before was just a part of him growing up a bit more. It turns out that Aoi was wrong though.

"Oh alright then…" the honey-brunette smiled compliantly, "I don't really feel like playing anyways…" he added in, suddenly getting up on his feet and sitting down on Reita's bed, his two arms beside him and his gaze focused on the floor. He seemed in deep thought and it honestly worried Aoi quite a bit. He knew for sure that the honey-brunette's mind was focused on a certain chibi blonde vocalist, and this could actually be good progress. If Uruha was worried - and could _admit_ that he cared lots for the vocalist, Aoi was practically free! Well yeah, Aoi realized how selfish this thought was, but he had a right to be happy, no? The melodist inwardly smiled to himself, seeing this as a chance to sweet-talk something out of the honey-brunette and shut off the television and PlayStation 2.

"Ne, Kou. . ." the raven melodist spoke up, getting on his feet and standing right in front of his fellow guitarist, "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, knowing that with the right words, he could coax quite a few interesting things out of the Gemini. As he had expected, the angel-beauty looked up at him with slight unfocused eyes, showing confusion, as if at a loss on what to say. He recovered after a few seconds though, and replied with a smile.

"Umm.. yeah. I'm okay, I guess."

"Are you sure?" Aoi reconfirmed, crouching so that he was lower than Uruha's position, "I can see there's something wrong, y'know," he tried, but the younger one kept up with smiling and didn't give a real response. He seemed unfocused and Aoi gave up. Maybe he should just try being straightforward?

"…"

Uruha was even avoiding eye-contact with him, and that honestly wasn't common. Aoi decided to throw the dice and see what happens.

"Kouyou?"

". . . Hai?"

"It is Ruki?" Aoi shot, taking his chance, and that was when Uruha's beautiful mahogany eyes

shot down to meet his in surprise. Inwardly grinning to himself in victory, Aoi could easily see the admittance in those glass-clear eyes, and now he knew why Reita said he could effortlessly read the feminine Gemini by looking into his eyes. Aoi thought that it was pure bullshit at first or that it was something that had developed between the two because of their friendship, but now he realized that because Uruha was a very honest person, it was no wonder that his eyes showed nothing but pure emotion. It really was easy to read him.

"I - " Uruha began, but he bit his lip hesitance and looked away again, refusing to continue whatever he wanted to say. His eyes rested on everything but Aoi, now seeming uncomfortable for the very first time ever since Aoi has gotten back here with him from the tours and it actually looked cute to the older raven.

"Kou," he called, hand reaching up to touch Uruha's smooth cheek, gently turning his face so that he'd look at him, "Itte kudasai? Kikimasu yo," he offered, "Please tell me? I want to hear," and the latter merely looked back uncertainly, before sighing in defeat.

"I - I'm just worried," Uruha admitted as he closed his eyes, looking away and getting up on his feet, feeling Aoi do the same, "And I feel extremely guilty. I've been harsh to him, barely talked to him, stopping taking care of him, I can't even remember the last time we talked," the young one confessed, sighing audibly. He loosely wrapped his arms around his own lithe but slightly muscular frame, giving off an insecure impression. Aoi stayed quiet, giving Uruha the time he needed to let it all out.

"I've just started thinking that, well… I… I think you're right," he finally sighed, slumping his shoulders, "You're right about me being selfish. I can't make up my mind… I… I want him here cause I don't feel okay if he's not by my side, but if he's there then I don't know what to do, so I end up ignoring him," Uruha bit his lower lip, "On the other hand, I want Kanon close to me too…" and the honey-brunette trailed off, obvious to Aoi that he simply can't talk anymore. But to be honest, Aoi doesn't have a clue on what to do either. Though seeing his younger guitarist down made him uneasy as well. Uruha blurting out everything he felt and thinking was honestly weird too; Uruha wasn't one to just speak up. He was too feminine to do that

"Well," Aoi sighed, giving his kouhai a small smile, approaching him, "Cheer up. If you'd fix your attitude when this all is over, I'm sure he'd warm up to you again like before," Aoi reassured, ruffling Uruha's hair lovingly. He hoped that this would at least soothe his fellowe guitarist a bit and it honestly did… The honey-brunette merely sighed and smiled back, inwardly glad that he had a guardian like Aoi near him to lean onto… Kai is so lucky. Him ruffling Uruha felt kinda good, it felt safe, like he was a kid that was being loved… It kinda reminded him of when Kanon had this problem with Bou back in Highschool. Uruha had caught the raven almost crying by the canteen and he had then tried to ask what -

_Shit,_Uruha cursed to himself, _Memories, _hating the fact that he had just let up all of those happy memories resurface while he had tried so hard to forget it all… Forgetting was honestly the only thing that Uruha could do so he can manage himself and climb out of the emo-pit he had dug himself. He wasn't that ready to go through all of it again; it kind of hurt.

Aoi frowned when he saw the sudden change of expression on Uruha's face. He seemed less worried just a few seconds ago, but why did he seem kinda scared now? The young one's beautiful mahogany eyes were also unfocused and he seemed to be gazing straight through Aoi, not at him.

"Uruha," Aoi called, taking his hand back, "Are you okay?" he asked, trying to anticipate for whatever might happen next. He looks rather nostalgic right now… But in a bad way. Things have been going so well and now he's having memories? Oh gosh… Aoi sure hoped that it his hunch wasn't true, that Uruha wasn't gonna break down on him again… Cause that would mean another long period of baby-sitting. A period of fun but also tempting baby-sitting… But Aoi knew that his hunches were almost always right, and he hated that.

"Kouyou?" Aoi tried again, and this time Uruha's eyes snapped up at him, focusing a bit before wavering for a second. He seemed rather lost, and it wasn't only obvious by his eyes, but the fact that he wasn't replying was also a sign, "Are you okay?"

"Uhm… Yeah," Uruha answered, blinking a few times, before looking up at the raven, "Yeah just fine. Memories' all…" he answered, "I was just kinda thinking of Kanon… Y'know… Kinda miss him. I don't even know whether he actually still loved me before he left…" trailing off before shaking his head, "Well, it's nothing important anyway. Sorry for worrying you," forcing a smile to Aoi before turning on his heels and exiting the room.

It wasn't because he wanted to be alone or anything, it was just that Uruha has just realized how similar the two of them were… Sure he realized that they were physically alike before, but now they were just too similar in their characteristics too and it somehow made his heart ache a little. He honestly has a soft spot for his senpai, he couldn't deny that, and with the knowledge that his senpai is like is ex-boyfriend made it all the worse, ne? And just like what Reita said, Uruha has the potential to kill the band if he allowed his feelings to react - which he had done quite often lately… Reita talked him off of that - and he knew that Aoi, as always, was right. He needed to focus himself to Ruki and make things up to the chibi vocalist. Plus the fact that Aoi could easily make him talk without thinking twice made it all the more dangerous. Uruha liked to keep his thoughts to himself.

Meanwhile, Aoi saw this while situation as a perfect opportunity to pass on the message that Knaon had given him. It had actually been bugging him for quite a while, sitting there in his thoughts. He had wanted to let Uruha know from quite a long while ago, but everytime he opened his mouth his brain told him to wait. And whenever he asked Reita when the right time will be, the bassist also simply told him to wait. It was rather confusing for the raven since he never really acts on impulse. But now his guts was telling him that this was the time for it. So he made his move and ran out into the hall, following his kouhai out. The raven Aquarius managed to grab his wrist just in time before he passed the kitchen, heading for the patio, and halted the younger Gemini's steps in the livingroom. Surprised, the honey-brunette turned with slightly curious eyes inquiring what it was that Aoi wanted to do or say.

"Chotto, Kouyou," Aoi started, now kind of hesitating, "There's something I have to tell you…" he trailed off, and Uruha raised his eyebrows inquiringly. This was something new. Aoi had something to tell Uruha? The Gemini was curious, very curious indeed, especially with the face that Aoi was putting up now; he seemed very hesitant and Uruha was torn between curiosity and fear. He wanted to know what Aoi had to say, but the way his raven senpai was acting didn't bode well. They stood there in the hall for a few seconds, both lost in their own thoughts before Uruha's curiosity got the better of him.

". . . Yeah?" the honey-brunette spoke, "What is it, Ao-kun?" now too curious to even consider the after-effects of the knowledge he was about to receive.

"Kanon, he -" Aoi trailed, off, rather unsure of how to put it in words, "I met him. A few months ago," Aoi blurted out, and Uruha shook his arm loose by the information and moved to fully face Aoi, seeming confused.

"Of course you did," Uruha replied, "You met him together with me, in the hospital," the honey-brunette stated and his senpai shook his head in slight frustration. Passing on this simple love message is going to be hard.

"No, no, I meant that I met him a few months ago, after I moved in here, in your room," Aoi explained, "Remember the time when you woke up in the middle of the night because I was thrashing here and there, and I asked you whether there was anyone else in the room? He came to me in my dreams then," fidgeting and staring at his toes, dreading to see the look on Uruha's face. He was expecting some kind of protest or argument from the younger one, but said latter stayed awfully quiet.

"Look," Aoi continued, not really comfortable with the silence, still staring at his toes, "I know it doesn't really make sense but I -" but his sentence got cut off by a silent voice that made him snap his eyes up immediately taking in Uruha's blank though almost tortured eyes. He was fighting with something within him, it seems… Was this not the right time after all?

"What did he say?" Uruha spoke up, his voice barely a whisper, his lips barely mouthing the words, but it was so quiet that you could easily hear a needle hit the carpeted floor… Aoi was starting to regret this. But he knew he had to go on anyway, there was no turning back now… Or Uruha will nag him about it for the next few days, or the worst case; he could get depressed from the curiosity. Aoi shuddered inwardly.

"He. . . He loves you and he wants you to carry on with your life," Aoi blurted out, looking straight into his younger guitarist's eyes, "He wants you to forget him and start over with -" and Aoi stopped himself before he said the word 'me'. He sighed inwardly as he knew he had just stopped himself in time; he had to change Kanon's words a bit in this one.

"With. . . ?" Uruha indirectly inquired, his tone still rather flat, seemingly knowing that his senpai was hiding something, and Aoi bit his lip before continuing.

"With someone else. . And I suggest Ruki for that job, heh-heh," Aoi added in, trying to joke, scratching his head sheepishly; this was so uncomfortable… "He loves you, Kouyou, and he wants you to move on. It saddens him to see you like this," the raven continued, and after a few seconds of silence, Uruha suddenly stepped closer with a determined look in his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" the honey-brunette gently demanded, the gaze in his eyes stealthing up, and Aoi shrugged.

"Kanon told me that I should tell you when the time was right… And I felt that now's right. Especially when you said that you wondered whether he still loved you…" Aoi trailed off, "And now I say he does. He loves you," and the raven Aquarius ended it there, wanting to see how his kouhai might react… And it was exactly as Aoi predicted it.

Uruha stayed quiet.

Aoi left their conversation hanging in the air, no matter how uncomfortable he actually felt with it, but he didn't want to spoil the atmosphere and break Uruha's chain of thoughts. But as seconds turned into long minutes, the raven finally got tired of it too. Flashing his usual attractive and kind smile, Aoi stepped forward also, all the more closing the gap between then and patted Uruha's shoulder.

"Naa, shinpai shinaide yo, Kouyou," he adviced, "Don't worry about it," and Uruha finally sighed, forcing himself to form his sexy lips into a weak, sad smile. He knew that he had to forget it all, it was the only choice now wasn't it? If Kanon wanted him to go on, then so be it. If that would make his younger lover happy then he will do it. If Kanon had actually came to Aoi's dream just to say that he loved Uruha and wanted him to go on that must mean that his Shin-chan is seriously not resting in peace at the other side. And Uruha didn't want that for him.

"Nah, I won't," Uruha replied, "Everything comes and goes; you can't force your will on life nor others. I'll let go… eventually, though it's hard," the porcelain-white guitarist sighed, "If it makes him happy then I'll do it," looking into Aoi's comforting midnight-black eyes, who smiled soothingly in return. Uruha actually liked that of Aoi; soothingly talkative but actually quiet at the same time.

"Hm," he grinned teasingly, "You'll never change, will you? Still naïve since the very first day I met you," and he patted the younger one's smooth chubby cheek lovingly and mischievously, just like a father towards his teenage daughter. But again, whatever Aoi might do or say would always remind Uruha back towards Kanon, and it happened again for the second time that hour. But this time, the feminine Gemini was simply too infatuated and impressed by the situation that he didn't - _couldn't _- turn away.

Uruha smiled, reaching out, gently cupping Aoi's oval face and tenderly stroking the older one's cheek with his slightly calloused thumb, his eyes reflecting a gaze of regretful wistfulness, and the raven was oddly captivated by it.

"You two are so identical it's not even funny," he chuckled bitterly, "Your features, your eyes, the way you talk, everything…" he trailed off, "Though you are older," he added in as an afterthought and the two chuckled in the silence; one chuckling out of discomfort and the other from uncertainty. But they were, unmistakably, captivated by each other's eyes. Uruha because Aoi's orbs were assuring, gentle, grounded and mature, and Aoi because Uruha's mahogany lenses simply shone off a mystical aura that clearly hid something, mixed with a bit of sadness. They were entranced.

It didn't stop Uruha from talking though, "Your hair is black, spiky, hard to style, just like his," he mumbled, raising his hand and allowing his fingers to tangle itself in the raven locks, "Your eyes are like his," continuing, nimble fingers now outlining the corners of his cat-like eyes, "Your face, appearance, all like his…" he sighed into the air, his voice barely a whisper, holding Aoi's jaw placidly, his thumb tracing his senpai's lips gently, "And your lips are too…"

And at this, Aoi was completely tongue-tied. Uruha was so mesmerizing, and he was honestly hypnotized by the situation…

Until Uruha suddenly leaned in and kissed him.

Aoi's midnight-black eyes widened and his lips parted slightly because of the shock, but that was exactly what Uruha seemed to be waiting for as the rhythm guitarist moved in closer and tangled his long fingers in the melodist's raven locks behind his head to deepen their kiss. Needless to say, Aoi was shocked shitless and the thought to just shove Uruha off of him and run out of the place flashed through his mind; but then something in the kiss stopped him. He felt that the lips moving against his own were pouring in many emotions at once; emotions he oddly felt familiar with. As the gentle Aquarius hesitantly started kissing back, he knew why he couldn't break away. The kiss reminded him of Kai so much; the kiss was just so sweet, chaste, innocent and loving he couldn't help but be hypnotized and kiss back. The two were kissing each other, but it seemed that the person in their mind wasn't the person they were locking mouths with. Now feeling suddenly confident with all of this, Aoi started to get into the act as well, moving his arms to circle around Uruha's waist and shoulders, deepening their kiss, oddly enjoying what was happening even though he could hear a small voice at the back of his head that was screaming at him to break away.

_I can't... I have to, I should, but I can't..._

Meanwhile outside, the other three members of the GazettE have reached the front of the Kanagawa household and were still discussing about everything that had happened these past few days. Kai, who had inquired what this whole gathering was about, was still trying to cope with the fact that Aoi does apparently have a soft spot for Uruha while Ruki is just pondering about whether the dream he had about Uruha leaving him might be true afterall. All the signs lead to it, though he knew there were a few flaws here and there... Hmm...

Reita, on the other hand, felt guilty. He had known, seen and heard too much of what had happened between his two guitarists and he knew that everyone in the band has a right to know every single little thing... But Reita left things out. He didn't tell Kai and Ruki about the kiss. He didn't tell them about Aoi's ponderings and doubts, and he certainly didn't tell them that Kanon had specifically told Aoi to take care of Uruha. He only told the two that Kanon came to Aoi's dream, but that was it. Reita honestly felt that he had kind of betrayed Ruki and Kai's trust in a way, but he didn't have another choice. Some secrets were just meant to be secrets.

"Ah, Reita-kun," Kai spoke up rather gently as the three of them reached the front door, "So you're saying that Aoi can go home soon but will still need to come and visit often?" the drummer repeated, and Reita nodded.

"Kinda like that, yeah," he sighed, rummaging around in his pockets for the keys. Beside him, Ruki merely stood with a dreamy look. He seemed to be quite deep in thought, lost in his own world, and Kai snapped his fingers infront of Ruki's daydreaming chibi face. The vocalist jumped a bit and pouted as Kai and Reita chuckled, the bassist finally managing to find his keys and pushing it inside the lock. But what met his eyes the next minute was something he did know would happen eventually, but not something he had expected at that time. This was the second time he had caught his two guitarists kissing, but this was the first time he's seen Aoi participating in it willingly. The three of them were stupefied.

Shocked, Kai gasped audibly at the sight and it attracted both of the lip-locking guitarist's attention. Breaking away from each other immediately, both Uruha and Aoi turned at their band mates and were rendered speechless in an instant. The three had definitely seen the loving kiss between the two of them and they were all speechless and stunned. When he had come to his senses, Reita groaned, knowing what was to happen next as Kai suddenly let out a choked barely-there sob and ran off. Then everything that happened next seemed nothing but a blur to Uruha. Aoi had suddenly disappeared from beside him, chasing after his lover out of the door, as Reita stood there and fixed him a burning gaze that stared right into his soul. And Uruha knew what he had done was wrong. Oh so very wrong. But he couldn't help it. And he somehow didn't very guilty… The kiss was actually something he had enjoyed though he wasn't supposed to…

Oh shit.

"Teme…" Ruki mumbled beneath his breath, anger being the only emotion visible on his features, his mumble breaking Uruha's thoughts. It was frightening, to Reita at least, who was standing right beside the vocalist and who felt the killing aura vibrating off of him firsthand. But the next thing Reita knew, Ruki had already stepped forward towards his guitarist, not even bothering to take off his shoes, and in a split second, had already managed to punch said older honey-brunette to the ground before Reita had a chance to stop him.

"Bakayaro," Ruki spat venomously at his guardian angel before turning around on his heels and making his way to his room in furious steps. Uruha didn't move an inch though, merely sitting there on the ground, cradling his throbbing jaw while trying to move to get the numb feeling out. He knew he deserved this, and he knew he was in deep shit. He had made Kai cry and he had managed drive Ruki so mad that the vocalist had punched him… Oh dear. He was in serious deep shit.

"Kouyou," Reita called as he walked over and crouched beside him, trying to help him up, "You're fucked up, you know that?" the bassist stated bluntly, and Uruha nodded his answer as he got up on his feet, holding onto Reita's strong arms for support. The bassist wrapped his arm around Uruha's waist to help him up.

"Yeah. Yeah I know," the guitarist sighed, closing his eyes, moving to weakly hug Reita as the blonde merely allowed him to do what he wanted, hugging him back slightly. Reita couldn't possibly imagine how it must've felt, being hated by the people you cared about, being responsible if anything might happen to the band... Reita sighed and hugged his younger friend closer, tighter. He knew that the next few days were gonna be hard.

Outside, Aoi had managed to grab Kai's lower arm just in time, pulling back the resisting drummer.

"Matte, Kai!" he called, sounding desperate, frantic. He didn't know what to do exactly, or what to say to Kai later on, but he had now to make sure that Kai wouldn't go anywhere so he could assure the drummer's safety, "Kai, wait, _please, _I can explain this," but as Kai turned around, facing him with his broken eyes, Aoi knew that a part of him was dying inside. Could he mend the hurt, make up for everything?

"What? What is it now?" Kai asked, sound rather hopeless, "I saw how loving that was, Aoi, what else do you want to explain?" he shot at his lover, and Aoi bit his lower lip at the statement as Kai continued, "Even if he were the one talking you into it then _why_ oblige?" Kai asked, sounding extremely hurt, mumbling to himself, "I can't believe I'm still talking to you," and he turned around again, claiming his arm back roughly. He felt hurt, betrayed, disappointed... He didn't think he could possibly forgive anyone in this matter, not even himself... He started all of this...

"Kai!" Aoi called again, panicking. His lover was walking away, walking away from him; he couldn't let this happen!

"What?" Kai snapped as he turned around.

"Look, you're right, I shouldn't have done that, I was wrong," Aoi admitted as Kai tsked, "But I've already told you _before_ all of this happened; something bad is going to happen if you put me here and -"

"If you _knew_ something bad were to happen then why didn't you try to stop it?" Kai demanded childishly, "Why didn't you try to get away, tell him off, ANYTHING!" he finally yelled in frustration, and Aoi frowned at the anger Kai was going through. Sure, Aoi had a big deal in this, but Kai couldn't possibly blame it all on him! Aoi had refused, tried to tell him that things were gonna happen, he had told Kai to just drop it and get either Ruki or Reita to do it but just because Miyavi had suggested Aoi to do it, Kai had forced him into it... And now the drummer was blaming _everything_ on him?

"Tell him off?" Aoi repreated incredulously, "You expect me to tell off a sensitive and emotional Uruha? You were the one who told me to comfort him and make him better as soon as possible! If I told him off and he'd go all emo again, what would you do then? Blame me for it as well?" Aoi snapped, now feeling honestly as if Kai didn't fully trust him in this case... As if Kai didn't trust him at all. And Aoi didn't like this. He may be a nice, gentle and patient person, but when it comes to pride, promises and trust...

"But you could've done something, anything!" Kai insisted, "I can't believe you did this to me..." he mumbled, closing his eyes, seemingly as if he were about to cry. Sighing, Aoi stepped forward and grabbed both of Kai's hands, deciding to just bury his ego and make a last try to fix his relationship with the drummer...

"Yutaka. Please believe in me. _Trust_ me. I'd never hurt you on purpose..." he begged, his heart wrenching as he watched a single tear escape Kai's closed eyes, "Please don't do this to me."

And silence was all that ensued before his lover croaked out a silent reply that broke Aoi's heart and hurt his pride.

"Just let go of me, Yuu," he breathed, "I - This is all too fast for me, I need to think it over..." he trailed off, more tears running over his cheeks, "Please let go..." keeping his eyes closed shut, refusing to see Aoi's eyes that probably showed hurt and anger as well... But what was Aoi to expect? That Kai would forgive him just like that? Somewhere in the bottom of his heart, Kai was actually hoping that the raven guitarist would somehow give a last try, maybe if he did, Kai would give in... Would he? But what happened next shocked Kai immensely. The drummer immediately opened his eyes in surprise, more tears escaping his chocolate-brown orbs.

Aoi had let go.

"If that's what you wish."

* * *

Okay. Call me a bitch for making you guys wait half a year and then ending it there.. But this is like, already too long as it is~~ Comments, PLEASE!


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